Something to Talk About (Part 3)
Title: Something to Talk About (3/?)
Authors: hahn_lover18 and callica318
Pairing: Callie Torres & Erica Hahn
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters and locations are the property of ABC and Shonda Rhimes. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Immediately following the kiss from episode 4x15, Callie and Erica go on a journey of discovery and realisations.
Spoilers: Contains heavy season 4 spoilers.
Feedback: We’re first-timers at this so we’d love some! It helps with our muses!!
Callie was so relieved to be going home, she didn't think she could spend one more minute in that hospital. If there was ever a place that was impossible to hide from your problems Seattle Grace was it. And boy did Callie have problems! As she left all she could think of was how if this had been a normal day she would be heading to Joe's with Erica. Erica. Callie tensed at the thought of her. How had things gone from great to so horribly wrong? One minute they were best friends and the next...well the next Erica had kissed her and Callie had forced herself even further into her pit of heterosexuality. Now all she wanted was her best friend back. Erica would know exactly what to do and say in this situation except this time it was about her! Callie so needed to talk to her, but what could she possibly say to make things better, to justify her stupidity? Callie had never had trouble expressing herself before but with Erica she found herself too awash with emotions to form any sort of coherent thought. And after that kiss Callie couldn't even think clearly by herself, let alone in the presence of those soft lips that Callie knew would be imprinted in her mind forever. God who was she kidding, Erica herself would never leave her mind. She was her first thought when she woke up and her lazy before she went to sleep. That was why Callie had gone to the gallery during her surgery. Because Erica was even more beautiful when she was in surgery. She was totally in control and fully aware of everything she did. And she moved her hands with a precision that could only come from Erica Hahn. And Callie found it so damn sexy. So she had gone to watch her, because seeing Erica from the gallery was better than not seeing her at all. And while she was watching Callie had gotten so lost in her thoughts and visions of Erica that she was totally shocked when she felt piercing blue eyes fall into hers. And as soon as they did she wished they hadn't because Erica's hands started shaking and she hadn't been able to finish the surgery. Erica Hahn hadn't finished a surgery and Callie knew it was all because of her. At this point Callie had reached the apartment. She couldn't wait to open a bottle of wine and just drink away all her thoughts of best friends and inappropriate feelings. But to Callie's frustration as soon as she opened the door she found Christina waiting with an anxious look on her face.
Christina, jumped slightly at the sound of the door being unlocked and of Callie walking in. Although she had been waiting for her arrival for over half an hour now, trying desperately to think of what she was going to say, now that the time had finally arrived, Christina was as clueless as when she first started to pace. She tried to give Callie a weak smile. Christina was not a quitter and she wasn't a coward. This was probably the only chance she would get to get on Hahn's good side, and she would be damned if she wasn't going to be successful at it.
"Callie..." She started, walking over and grabbing her coat from her earnestly, "let me take that for ya. Why don't you go sit down? I'll get us some wine." Christina went to the fridge and got a nice bottle of Merlot out, grabbed two wine glasses and brought them over to the couch and table. She poured Callie some and then herself. "So...." she began, glancing around, trying to find some sort of muse, "how was your day..?"
"Oh just..peachy thanks" Callie replied echoing the same empty words Erica had said to her that morning. "How was yours?..." she asked cautiously, curious as to what had prompted the usually cold Christina to try and have a conversation.
"It was.....odd." Yang said, trying to broach the subject in the least obvious way that she could, "...very odd."
Now Callie was even more curious. "Odd...how?" she asked, wondering what on earth Yang was telling her this for.
"Well, I scrubed in with Hahn--I mean Erica--today." She said, correcting herself talking about Callie's best friend like she was some military general so that Callie wouldn't have to correct her herself.
"And it was.....odd."
Callie tensed immediately at the mention of her name. She still couldn't figure out why Yang was telling her this though. Erica was such a guarded person Callie couldn't imagine her opening up to anyone, especially Yang, it was no secret that she didn't like her at all. But why else would Yang be talking to her? "Oh..umm...why was it odd?" Callie asked quickly, trying not to let the anticipation she was feeling show in her voice.
"Odd....she-she...couldn't finish the surgery. I mean the sutures, at the very end. She looked up and like, freaked out afterwards. She almost ripped the patients skin through with the stitches." Yang said, trying to act as casual as possible.
Callie's breath caught in her throat. She knew exactly when Erica had looked up and why she'd freaked out. This was definitely not good and Callie's body felt heavy enough to drop with guilt. She knew she had to reply to Yang without giving away the fact the she had been the cause of Erica's panic. "Oh yeah..umm that is odd..." Callie said trying to keep the shake in her voice to a minimum, "so did she umm manage to fix the stitches?"
"No, she didn't. I had to fix them and finish closing him up. And then when I went to wash up and scrub out, I found her...--well, I found her...crying in the scrub room....by herself...you know crying like with tears....Hahn...I mean Erica....with tears." She gave a slight shiver at the end, to portray just how odd of an experience it was.
Callie couldn't believe it, Erica had been crying?! Her strong, stable Erica?! In front of Yang?!! It was almost too much to bear and Callie's lip began to tremble just thinking about it. She took a deep breath. "Christina..." she said shakily "did she say anything?"
Christina glanced up at Callie, and made eye contact as she slowly replied, "Yes..."
"She said that...that--she...she told me that she kissed you Cal, and that you didn't....she feels really hurt. Like REALLY hurt. Like getting stood up at the altar hurt."
"Cal, what is going on between you two? I'm only asking as a friend! I swear! I have NO alterior motive!
Christina's response hit Callie like a ton of bricks and now she let the tears that had been threatening to fall spill over. The last thing she'd ever wanted to do was hurt Erica. But it seemed Callie always hurt the people she cared about the most. And she cared about Erica...maybe a little too much. Callie didn't even know where to begin to answer Christina's question. For once she'd actually seemed sincere and it was doing nothing to help Callie's emotional state. "We umm...well I....and Addie said...." Callie was having trouble forming thoughts again. She took another deep breath and rattled off as much as she could in one breath: "Erica and I were..well are best friends but then Addie came and she thought we were a couple and it freaked me out and it shouldn't have and I started noticing that maybe we were just a little too comfortable together and then she kissed me!" Callie took yet another deep breath and continued "She kissed me and it was...good..really good..too good...and I was scared..am scared and I did the only thing I could think of I..with Mark...and...oh god I'm a horrible person!" Callie sobbed, sinking to the floor.
Christinia was totally speechless. Where the hell had she been when all this had happened?! She missed everythign!! And now to top it all, she had a crying Callie on the floor and she had no idea what the fuck to do with her. She tried her best to speak girl and said, "Callie, do you,..do you have romantic feelings or potential romantic feelings for Hah--Erica?"
Callie could only nod threw her sobs. "But..but..." she hiccuped "I've messed everything up! Just like everything else in my life!"
"Well then what the FUCK are you doing sobbing her on the floor feeling sorry for yourself for? Oh blah blah blah WOE is you!? BULLSHIT, Cal, BULLSHIT! Think how Hahn--I MEAN ERICA--is feeling right now? She is at home ALONE, in a state of total rejection. She fucking kissed you and all you could do was go fuck Sloan! How is she supposed to deal with that?! GO GER TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL! AND FOR GOD's SAKE KISS HER BACK DAMNIT!" Yang yelled, before downing her wine and stomping away. She had done her duty and was damned if she was going to stay there and watch a bubbling grown woman cry herself to empathy from herself.
Callie sat there speechless as Christina's words sunk in. Oh god she was right, she was so right! Here she was sitting here like some hurt little puppy dog when the woman she lov-...liked a lot (damn it!) was hurting even more and it was all because of her. Callie knew what she had to do. She quickly got up and dried her tears, then she grabbed her keys off the table and headed out the same door she'd come in only minutes earlier. She was going to find Erica and fix this once and for all. Calliope Iphigenia Torres was no weakling!