The Death List

[hadesking]

I am becoming far too generous. I have released three dead from Hades in a single day. I have not allowed that many to leave in over a millennium

Comments

The list!

[wiseathena]

I have finished the list, Hades. Here you are:

Clean up after Cerberus for a month
Be Persephone's handmaiden-person when she's at the DF mansion
Make a macaroni wreath for Hades' front door
Take over for Charon for a month
Give Hades and Persephone a vacation
Redecorate Persephone's chambers to make 'em all cheerful and spring-like
Give Persephone my muffin recipe
A giant poster saying "We <3 you, Hades!!"
French Eye for the Hades guy
Spa passes
Plant an orange tree in Hell.

Re: The list!

[hadesking]

Giving it some thought. Some of them, I like. Some of them I don't. You will certainly have to make some choices among the mortals. Former mortals.

Re: The list!

[wiseathena]

I'm glad to hear that you do like some of the offers, at least. But, Hades, if you don't like all the choices, then at least offer me tasks you want done. I will appeal to Persephone as well.

I will keep pestering you until you release them all, Hades. They have done nothing to deserve this and I am determined to help them.

Re: The list!

[hadesking]

What you need, my niece, is a life. And coming from me, that means a lot.
I told you I am giving it thought. Besides whether or not I would enjoy your offers, do not expect me to accept them without sharing with Persephone your...creativity.
You will have my answer in due time. Now run along and bake some muffins.

[clever_petite]

What do I have to do for you to get my brother back? Name it. Anything you like. Armand, are you alright?

[sweariwontdie]

I guess so, for being dead. I have never been dead before, so I don't know.

No, I'm not alright! Margot, it's dark here and it stinks and I'm still waiting in line.

I didn't do anything, I swear. I was home in bed.

*whimpers* Is Percy all right? I don't see him here.

[hadesking]

For St. Just, you may make the same deal Juliet has--Become a loyal servant to Hades as one of Queen Persephone's ladies in waiting. I assure you she is a gentle mistress, but you will then be bound by our rule and to our kingdom eternally.

[clever_petite]

What if I offered you a different swap. Chauvelin for Armand. That way I get my brother, you get a soul, and my husband won't have to deal with my split schedule...especially since we have a baby coming.

I love your wife, of course, but considering the circumstances I feel we'd both get more out of this arrangement.

[nitricnotes]

Gray's in hell? What a shame. Can we keep him there?

[visiblemystery]

*secretary scurries in, hands Alan a note, and runs off*

*it reads:*

My dear Alan,

Consider the reason Dorian, myself, and so many others are in the underworld. Now consider the fact that you are not here. Go on, let it sink in a while. Funny, isn't it?

Your good friend, as always,

Henry Wotton

P.S. I hear Egypt is lovely this time of year. I know you prefer chemistry, but I am sure that the ecosystem of a certain river would fascinate you very much.

[nitricnotes]

*glowers*

Dear Henry,

I would tell you to go to hell, but you are already there.

-Alan Campbell

[visiblemystery]

I'm back now, so you can say it if you like.

You know, I think I almost like you better like this, Alan. The amusement lasts longer.

[devilsdandy]

You know, I'm really not that handsome. Really. Fairly ugly, in fact. Pleasedon'tkillme.

[the_shooter]

I don't believe in you. Why am I dead?

And that's Pasha Antipov! You tempermental brat!

[hadesking]

Never heard of you.
But if you die by Thanatos, you come to me. Now be quiet in the line. Haven't you noticed, it is getting much shorter.