Chuck - Chuck/Awesome - Shock & Awe , PG
Despite whatever you may have heard, it doesn't take much to make me happy. Right now I am listening slobbering enjoying the new Radiohead. Today. Today I am... pleased.
How pleased you ask? New fandom attempt pleased.
For slodwick and serialkarma.
Improv: towel, miniature, joystick, skateboard, pie
Chuck
Chuck/Captain Awesome, PG
Spoilers through 1.03 'Chuck vs. The Tango'
Shock & Awe
In retrospect, Chuck should've known something was up when Captain Awesome wanted to teach him how to tango. Okay, wait. He should probably back that up a bit.
The tango was really just another item in a long list of things that Captain Awesome had wanted to do with Chuck that Chuck felt maybe would be best done --- oh, never. Yeah, 'never' was good for the white-water rage of death rapids, and what the hell was wrong with Captain Awesome that he thought that was a fun time anyway? And wasn't that just one of Awesome's many problems in the first place?
He was entirely too full of surprises.
Neither white-water death rapids nor the tango equaled a good time in Chuck's book. Particularly not when done with Captain Awesome. It was…weird. Captain Awesome was weird. Chuck thought he should tell Ellie so, and as always Ellie just rolled her eyes. "Chuck, not everybody is afraid of life, you know."
"I'm not afraid of life, I'm afraid your boytoy with the too-small-towel'll always teach me the girl parts to dances!" Chuck retorted. "And if you're so pro-death wish, then why don't you go on the white-water rage of death rapids with him?"
Ellie licked her yogurt spoon one last time before sticking it in the dishwasher. "Because he didn't ask me," she replied.
"What does that have to do with it?"
Ellie looked at Chuck as though his IQ had just oozed out of his ears and onto the kitchen floor. "I love you, Chuck, but for a guy who went to Stanford, you're not too bright sometimes."
Chuck stared after his sister long after she'd left the room. He loved his sister, too, but he didn't get women at all. Ellie and Awesome were dating. Or in a relationship, or whatever. It had been a long (long, loooooong) time since Chuck had been in one of those, but he was pretty sure it meant you were by default included in things like risking your neck. Also, tangoes. Just because Awesome hadn't asked Ellie didn’t mean she wasn't invited. At least Chuck didn't think that was what it meant.
It was too much thinking too early in the morning. He needed something soothing. Something to make it better.
He needed pie. It was never too early for pie.
*
The thing was, water-water rafting wasn't the first time Captain Awesome had tried to kill Chuck this week, let alone this month. Last week he had wanted Chuck to go sky diving.
Chuck was working for the CIA, now, he didn't need even more help to get himself killed prematurely, but Awesome didn't seem to realize that. In fact, Awesome had nearly killed Chuck in the courtyard by zooming past on his skateboard while Chuck was sitting outside, reading Wired, drinking some orange juice and minding his own business.
Chuck had maybe spilled some juice on his jeans, because being buzzed by a six-foot-two Adonis on a skateboard tended to make him a bit jumpy. And then there was Awesome, doing some sort of skater trick that was so Captain Awesome with it's skidding and coolness that Chuck thought he should change Awesome's name to Obvious.
Chuck's life had been reduced to this. He worked at Nerd Herd. He hadn't dated in forever. He now had fifteen billion thousand secrets in his head and he was being mocked by a guy who looked like he'd stepped out of Abercrombie & Fitch. It was disgusting. It was wrong, and Chuck just sighed when a shadow blocked out the sun. "What do you want, Awesome?"
Chuck didn't even have look up to know that Captain Awesome was giving him the blinding white smile of Not Too Bright but Very Pretty. "Have you ever thought about skateboarding, Chuck?"
Chuck had to look up at that, because hello, he was a tech geek, he wasn't Mr. Southern California stereotype. At least Awesome was wearing some clothes this time -- if a too tight tee shirt and surfing shorts were considered real clothes. "Why would I want to roll downhill on a piece of plywood at a speed that would probably end up with me losing all my teeth or running into a telephone pole?"
Awesome cocked his head to the side. He reminded Chuck of a puppy. A very tall, blond puppy. "It wouldn't be like that," Awesome protested. "I would totally show you what to do. I'd be there every step of the way."
Chuck snorted. "Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of."
If Chuck didn't know better, he would almost say that he'd hurt Awesome's feelings, but you couldn't hurt a puppy's feelings. Unless you could. Chuck had never had a puppy, but he wasn't buying the big eyes look.
"Okay, so, no skateboarding," Awesome conceded. "How about sky diving? I have this friend who teaches people tandem jumping out on Lake Elsinore; there's nothing as life-affirming as jumping out of a plane. We could jump together!"
At first Chuck thought Awesome was joking, because who said crap like 'life-affirming', but when he saw the look on Awesome's face, Chuck started laughing. And then he couldn't stop.
Really.
Sky diving.
He could barely pull an answer together between the wheezing and the tears streaming from his eyes. "Awesome, you are out of your mind," Chuck gasped between howls.
It wasn't Chuck's imagination this time that Awesome looked hurt. "I just wanted you to have some fun for a change," Awesome said before walking away.
The laughter died off almost immediately.
Chuck knew how to have fun. That's what joysticks and X-Boxes were for, right?
*
Chuck was watching TV -- Top Gear was on BBC America, and Chuck had this thing for fast cars. He liked watching them on TV. He wasn't big on being in them going backwards down the steps though. Captain Awesome was doing what Captain Awesome did -- in this case walking around the apartment wearing almost no clothing.
Chuck didn't know where Awesome had been raised that towels were optional -- a nudist colony? -- because most people he knew actually liked to wear clothing when other people were around. And yeah, sure, Awesome was sleeping with his sister -- okay.
Now was an excellent time to stop thinking.
Except that Awesome's towel was really small -- who bought towels in miniature size? -- and he kept walking between Chuck and the TV. The next thing Chuck knew, Awesome was perched on the edge of the sofa next to him and oh, God, Awesome's towel was exposing wayyyyyy too much.
Chuck focused very hard on the TV and not on Awesome's legs, which were about sixteen miles long and right there about six inches away. The sofa was huge, why was Awesome sitting right next to him? And -- oooh, Awesome was eating pie.
With ice cream.
Chuck didn't even realize he'd put his fingers in Awesome's pie until the cinnamon from the apple pie landed on his tongue. Awesome snorted next to him. "Chuck, if you want some pie, you can just ask."
Chuck's fingers were wet from shoving pie in his mouth, and he just looked up at Awesome and gave him his most winning grin. "Pie is awesome."
Something in Awesome's face went kind of blank, and Chuck froze when Awesome leaned down... down... down. Awesome was entirely too tall, and when he kissed Chuck, Chuck went a bit blank.
So blank in fact that after Awesome pulled back, Chuck's mouth opened and nothing came out. Chuck didn't have to talk to shudder when Awesome's tongue flickered over the corner of Chuck's mouth, though.
"So," Awesome began hesitantly. He was still hovering on the edge of the sofa, and Chuck didn't even know what or who or how or --
"Is this why you didn't invite Ellie white-water death rafting?" Chuck blurted out.
Awesome blinked. He had really long eyelashes and what was Chuck thinking, because Awesome was a) male and b) male and c) male and d) dating his sister and e) all of the above.
Chuck sighed. "That wasn't what I meant to say, I'd meant to say, uh -- pie. Pie is good."
Awesome's grin was indeed blinding, and oh god, Chuck wasn't flirting with Awesome, this was so not awesome. This was bad. "Does Ellie know you like pie?" Chuck asked curiously.
Awesome leaned forward and set the pie down on the coffee table. He was just wearing the stupid towel, and it was obscene. It was also way too much naked for Chuck. Way too much naked, tan, toned -- digression. Big digression.
"Ellie was the one who suggested I try pie," Awesome said.
Chuck narrowed his eyes at Awesome. "Are we even talking about pie?"
Awesome narrowed his eyes back, his mouth turning up at the corners. "What do you think?" When Awesome shrugged, his towel fell off, and Chuck's eyes almost fell out of his head. Or they would have if Awesome hadn't been wearing briefs and who wore briefs anymore?
Answer: Captain Awesome, who liked pie. Or Chuck. If Chuck was a euphemism for pie. Or dick. Or something. Was that even enough fabric to be considered briefs? Did men wear thongs? During their tango Awesome had at least had on boxers. Too many surprises.
Chuck sighed as Awesome nudged him over and slid down on the sofa next to him. "So, Captain Awesome, who likes pie, " Chuck focused on Awesome and not on the possible thong he was wearing. "Does this mean I have to call you by your real name now?"
Awesome smiled. "I wouldn't mind, but I think I'd rather be called Awesome in bed."
Chuck snorted. "You and every other guy on earth."
"Well, when we get there, you can tell me what you want me to call you, how does that sound?"
Chuck stared. "You really think I'm going to like 'pie' that much?"
Awesome leaned forward and grabbed the melting pie and ice cream and thrust them into Chuck's hands. "I think you're going to love pie."
Chuck looked at the bowl in his hands and then back at Awesome. Apparently, Captain Awesome really was full of surprises.
Awesome surprises.
-end-
Beta by serialkarma, remaining fuck-ups, as always, belong to me.
How pleased you ask? New fandom attempt pleased.
For slodwick and serialkarma.
Improv: towel, miniature, joystick, skateboard, pie
Chuck
Chuck/Captain Awesome, PG
Spoilers through 1.03 'Chuck vs. The Tango'
Shock & Awe
In retrospect, Chuck should've known something was up when Captain Awesome wanted to teach him how to tango. Okay, wait. He should probably back that up a bit.
The tango was really just another item in a long list of things that Captain Awesome had wanted to do with Chuck that Chuck felt maybe would be best done --- oh, never. Yeah, 'never' was good for the white-water rage of death rapids, and what the hell was wrong with Captain Awesome that he thought that was a fun time anyway? And wasn't that just one of Awesome's many problems in the first place?
He was entirely too full of surprises.
Neither white-water death rapids nor the tango equaled a good time in Chuck's book. Particularly not when done with Captain Awesome. It was…weird. Captain Awesome was weird. Chuck thought he should tell Ellie so, and as always Ellie just rolled her eyes. "Chuck, not everybody is afraid of life, you know."
"I'm not afraid of life, I'm afraid your boytoy with the too-small-towel'll always teach me the girl parts to dances!" Chuck retorted. "And if you're so pro-death wish, then why don't you go on the white-water rage of death rapids with him?"
Ellie licked her yogurt spoon one last time before sticking it in the dishwasher. "Because he didn't ask me," she replied.
"What does that have to do with it?"
Ellie looked at Chuck as though his IQ had just oozed out of his ears and onto the kitchen floor. "I love you, Chuck, but for a guy who went to Stanford, you're not too bright sometimes."
Chuck stared after his sister long after she'd left the room. He loved his sister, too, but he didn't get women at all. Ellie and Awesome were dating. Or in a relationship, or whatever. It had been a long (long, loooooong) time since Chuck had been in one of those, but he was pretty sure it meant you were by default included in things like risking your neck. Also, tangoes. Just because Awesome hadn't asked Ellie didn’t mean she wasn't invited. At least Chuck didn't think that was what it meant.
It was too much thinking too early in the morning. He needed something soothing. Something to make it better.
He needed pie. It was never too early for pie.
*
The thing was, water-water rafting wasn't the first time Captain Awesome had tried to kill Chuck this week, let alone this month. Last week he had wanted Chuck to go sky diving.
Chuck was working for the CIA, now, he didn't need even more help to get himself killed prematurely, but Awesome didn't seem to realize that. In fact, Awesome had nearly killed Chuck in the courtyard by zooming past on his skateboard while Chuck was sitting outside, reading Wired, drinking some orange juice and minding his own business.
Chuck had maybe spilled some juice on his jeans, because being buzzed by a six-foot-two Adonis on a skateboard tended to make him a bit jumpy. And then there was Awesome, doing some sort of skater trick that was so Captain Awesome with it's skidding and coolness that Chuck thought he should change Awesome's name to Obvious.
Chuck's life had been reduced to this. He worked at Nerd Herd. He hadn't dated in forever. He now had fifteen billion thousand secrets in his head and he was being mocked by a guy who looked like he'd stepped out of Abercrombie & Fitch. It was disgusting. It was wrong, and Chuck just sighed when a shadow blocked out the sun. "What do you want, Awesome?"
Chuck didn't even have look up to know that Captain Awesome was giving him the blinding white smile of Not Too Bright but Very Pretty. "Have you ever thought about skateboarding, Chuck?"
Chuck had to look up at that, because hello, he was a tech geek, he wasn't Mr. Southern California stereotype. At least Awesome was wearing some clothes this time -- if a too tight tee shirt and surfing shorts were considered real clothes. "Why would I want to roll downhill on a piece of plywood at a speed that would probably end up with me losing all my teeth or running into a telephone pole?"
Awesome cocked his head to the side. He reminded Chuck of a puppy. A very tall, blond puppy. "It wouldn't be like that," Awesome protested. "I would totally show you what to do. I'd be there every step of the way."
Chuck snorted. "Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of."
If Chuck didn't know better, he would almost say that he'd hurt Awesome's feelings, but you couldn't hurt a puppy's feelings. Unless you could. Chuck had never had a puppy, but he wasn't buying the big eyes look.
"Okay, so, no skateboarding," Awesome conceded. "How about sky diving? I have this friend who teaches people tandem jumping out on Lake Elsinore; there's nothing as life-affirming as jumping out of a plane. We could jump together!"
At first Chuck thought Awesome was joking, because who said crap like 'life-affirming', but when he saw the look on Awesome's face, Chuck started laughing. And then he couldn't stop.
Really.
Sky diving.
He could barely pull an answer together between the wheezing and the tears streaming from his eyes. "Awesome, you are out of your mind," Chuck gasped between howls.
It wasn't Chuck's imagination this time that Awesome looked hurt. "I just wanted you to have some fun for a change," Awesome said before walking away.
The laughter died off almost immediately.
Chuck knew how to have fun. That's what joysticks and X-Boxes were for, right?
*
Chuck was watching TV -- Top Gear was on BBC America, and Chuck had this thing for fast cars. He liked watching them on TV. He wasn't big on being in them going backwards down the steps though. Captain Awesome was doing what Captain Awesome did -- in this case walking around the apartment wearing almost no clothing.
Chuck didn't know where Awesome had been raised that towels were optional -- a nudist colony? -- because most people he knew actually liked to wear clothing when other people were around. And yeah, sure, Awesome was sleeping with his sister -- okay.
Now was an excellent time to stop thinking.
Except that Awesome's towel was really small -- who bought towels in miniature size? -- and he kept walking between Chuck and the TV. The next thing Chuck knew, Awesome was perched on the edge of the sofa next to him and oh, God, Awesome's towel was exposing wayyyyyy too much.
Chuck focused very hard on the TV and not on Awesome's legs, which were about sixteen miles long and right there about six inches away. The sofa was huge, why was Awesome sitting right next to him? And -- oooh, Awesome was eating pie.
With ice cream.
Chuck didn't even realize he'd put his fingers in Awesome's pie until the cinnamon from the apple pie landed on his tongue. Awesome snorted next to him. "Chuck, if you want some pie, you can just ask."
Chuck's fingers were wet from shoving pie in his mouth, and he just looked up at Awesome and gave him his most winning grin. "Pie is awesome."
Something in Awesome's face went kind of blank, and Chuck froze when Awesome leaned down... down... down. Awesome was entirely too tall, and when he kissed Chuck, Chuck went a bit blank.
So blank in fact that after Awesome pulled back, Chuck's mouth opened and nothing came out. Chuck didn't have to talk to shudder when Awesome's tongue flickered over the corner of Chuck's mouth, though.
"So," Awesome began hesitantly. He was still hovering on the edge of the sofa, and Chuck didn't even know what or who or how or --
"Is this why you didn't invite Ellie white-water death rafting?" Chuck blurted out.
Awesome blinked. He had really long eyelashes and what was Chuck thinking, because Awesome was a) male and b) male and c) male and d) dating his sister and e) all of the above.
Chuck sighed. "That wasn't what I meant to say, I'd meant to say, uh -- pie. Pie is good."
Awesome's grin was indeed blinding, and oh god, Chuck wasn't flirting with Awesome, this was so not awesome. This was bad. "Does Ellie know you like pie?" Chuck asked curiously.
Awesome leaned forward and set the pie down on the coffee table. He was just wearing the stupid towel, and it was obscene. It was also way too much naked for Chuck. Way too much naked, tan, toned -- digression. Big digression.
"Ellie was the one who suggested I try pie," Awesome said.
Chuck narrowed his eyes at Awesome. "Are we even talking about pie?"
Awesome narrowed his eyes back, his mouth turning up at the corners. "What do you think?" When Awesome shrugged, his towel fell off, and Chuck's eyes almost fell out of his head. Or they would have if Awesome hadn't been wearing briefs and who wore briefs anymore?
Answer: Captain Awesome, who liked pie. Or Chuck. If Chuck was a euphemism for pie. Or dick. Or something. Was that even enough fabric to be considered briefs? Did men wear thongs? During their tango Awesome had at least had on boxers. Too many surprises.
Chuck sighed as Awesome nudged him over and slid down on the sofa next to him. "So, Captain Awesome, who likes pie, " Chuck focused on Awesome and not on the possible thong he was wearing. "Does this mean I have to call you by your real name now?"
Awesome smiled. "I wouldn't mind, but I think I'd rather be called Awesome in bed."
Chuck snorted. "You and every other guy on earth."
"Well, when we get there, you can tell me what you want me to call you, how does that sound?"
Chuck stared. "You really think I'm going to like 'pie' that much?"
Awesome leaned forward and grabbed the melting pie and ice cream and thrust them into Chuck's hands. "I think you're going to love pie."
Chuck looked at the bowl in his hands and then back at Awesome. Apparently, Captain Awesome really was full of surprises.
Awesome surprises.
-end-
Beta by serialkarma, remaining fuck-ups, as always, belong to me.