there will be planning

[habiliments]

I had something of a nightmare about the eventual wedding last night. Or this morning. It was the last dream, the one I woke up from, and it was all tears and frustration (mixed with an unrelated sequence that was like something from roller-Glee, and I couldn't do the flips right

Comments

[storme]

I never wanted to get married until I met my wife. My wife wasn't the sort of person with much idea of what she wanted either. We made everything up as we went along, in terms of wedding planning, and it turned out pretty much perfectly as far as we were concerned.

Honestly, my experience (here in the UK) has been that every single person we have spoken to related to wedding organisation/planning says 'it's your day! do whatever you want!' and we didn't get a lot of 'thou MUST' on any topic. It was exactly the opposite of what I expected--even when we were actively requesting advice on timings or early access to places or food, everyone was very hand-wavey and insistent that anything would be accommodated.

You know what's important for you both. Everything else will fit around that.

[habiliments]

I haven't gotten a lot of "you must" either, with certain exceptions (which will be overruled!). My problem, such as it is, is that I don't know what I do want, and I don't know how much money I'm willing to spend on it, and Brooklyn is wicked expensive. I think we'll figure out what we want eventually - but I'm caught in this weird place between want-to-get-married-now and want-to-figure-out-what's-best.

Plus bonus heightened awareness of wedding industry crap. It's complicated. :)

[daisybliss]

I would suggest you focus on what you said in the last paragraph, because that shortlist of what you do want sounds completely perfect and I think "wildflowers and whiskey" should be your wedding theme :)

[encarmencita]

"Wildflowers and Whiskey" really does sound like an awesome theme; and I say this as an almost complete teetotaler and someone who is marriage-free. Even though a wedding is a public declaration to friends and family, I know people who have regretted not making their weddings more to their personal tastes. May the expo be fun and reassuring!

[habiliments]

I don't think the fact that it's a public dedication to friends and family means it has to be what they expect - especially the more I learn how much all this costs, the more I find the entire spectacle fascinating and frankly rather fucked up. I mean, I guess if our parents were paying for it, they'd be entitled to more say, but I'm not actually sure I agree with that concept at all - bizarre marriage patronage.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there. All I know is that we're throwing a lot of supposed tradition (so much of which is just marketed bullshit!) out the window, and I'm happy to see it go! :)

[habiliments]

It's not a bad start, is it? Except wildflowers and Brooklyn don't exactly go hand in hand in terms of reality. ;)

[habiliments]

I wish you could make the cake, too! Though honestly I have no idea if we'll have one. Probably something smaller, for simplicity's sake - something that says "dessert, yum!" not "please smear this all over your person's face." ;) xoxo.m.