A Call To Arms, Steve/Danny
Author: finduilas_clln
Recipient: evening_spirit
Title: A Call To Arms
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Steve/Danny; Chin, Kono.
Summary: While Danny’s dealing with a family emergency, Steve tries to hide his own problems.
Warnings: Spoilers for S01E18.
Word Count: 4,457
Disclaimer: All Hawaii Five-0 characters herein are the property of CBS. No copyright infringement is intended. All characters engaging in sexual activity are 16 years or older.
Author's Notes: Beta’d by M.
When Steve steps into Danny’s office, Danny has his phone pressed up against his ear and he’s already sighing heavily. Steve does a ‘should I stay or go’ sign as he sees Danny’s on the phone, but Danny just waves to the empty chair in front of his desk so Steve decides to sit down.
“I know,” Danny says into the phone, “I wish it were different too, but you know that I tried everything I could and… oh please don’t start crying again, Katie, it’s all going to be alright.”
Steve frowns as he watches Danny pinch the bridge of his nose and rub his tired eyes.
“Look, don’t get so worked up,” Danny pleads, “It’s not good for the baby. You need to try and calm down. Hey, give me some time to figure some stuff out and I’ll see if I can’t be there for you when you’re due, alright?”
Steve shifts a little in his chair, his eyes fixed on Danny, who shoots him a weak smile.
“I gotta go now, sweetie,” Danny says into the phone, “It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure it out together, alright? … I love you.”
Danny lets the phone fall to his desk with a deep sigh, then crosses his arms in front of him on the desk and lets his forehead rest on them for a second. Steve doesn’t ask a thing until Danny lifts his head up again and looks at him.
“Your sister?” he asks, and Danny nods.
“She’s due to have her baby in a week and a half, and she’s completely freaking out,” Danny explains, “Even her husband can’t seem to calm her down.”
“Something wrong with the baby?” Steve asks, leaning a little closer to rest his elbows on the desk.
“No no,” Danny waves a hand, slumping back into his chair, “With the baby’s Godfather…”
Steve shoots his a questioning look, and Danny goes on, “It was supposed to be Matty.”
And Steve sees all the pieces fit together now. Sometimes he forgets how much Matt screwed his entire family over by doing what he did. He’s amazed how Danny has kept it together all this time.
“He was so freaking excited,” Danny smiles weakly, “Talked all about how he was gonna take his Godchild everywhere he could, spoil it rotten, and now…”
“It’s not fair, what he did to you guys,” Steve says, but he bites his tongue not to say more, because Danny doesn’t need a repeat of what happened. He knows exactly what Matt did and what the consequences were, and Steve calling Matt a selfish son of a bitch isn’t going to help anyone.
“And with Katie being all hormonal and about to pop out a little one… It’s like she’s only now realizing that the kid’s never going to have any of that stuff with his Godfather,” Danny says, “But she doesn’t want to pick another Godfather ‘cause she says it’d be like betraying Matty.”
Steve opens his mouth but snaps it back shut before he says something impulsive. Danny, however, knows him too well and says, “Yeah, I know. As if Matt even deserves her loyalty, right?”
Danny sighs again and Steve feels the urge to just reach around the desk and offer his friend a pat on the shoulder or a hug, but he stays put and just lets Danny vent.
“It’s all so fucked up, Steve. Katie and Matt were always so close, and it was just a given that he’d be the Godfather. It’s her first kid, and…”
“And you should be there for her,” Steve says, and Danny’s eyes are soft and grateful as they reach Steve’s.
“Yeah?” he asks, “’cause I was going to ask for some time off and…”
“Consider it done,” Steve says without hesitation, “Take however long you need.”
Danny gives him a grateful smile.
“You’re not gonna miss me?” he asks jokingly, but Steve can tell his eyes are tired and this is taking its toll on Danny.
“You should be concerned about your family back home, Danny. Don’t you worry about us. Take all the time you need.” Steve says, because somehow it comes out easier than saying ‘yes, I’ll fucking miss you every day you’re gone.’
~~~
Steve gets the call two days later, and decides instantly that he won’t tell Danny about it. Danny’s scheduled to leave for New Jersey by the weekend, and he already has so much on his plate that Steve decides not to bother him with this as well. He’s sneaky - or so Danny’s always telling him anyway - so he’s sure he can keep this from Danny without a problem.
He insists on dropping Danny off at the airport that Friday afternoon, and even though Danny keeps telling him he could’ve easily taken a taxi, Steve can tell he’s grateful.
“You’re not going to blow up the islands while I’m gone, are you?” Danny asks as he’s standing by the passport control.
“I’ll try and refrain,” Steve smiles, and he tells himself he really isn’t lying - he won’t blow up the islands, he just… won’t be on them.
“Good,” Danny says, nodding, “Well I… I should probably get going.”
He’s got his passport in his hand and a bag thrown over his shoulder, and he’s shuffling on his feet like he isn’t really sure how to say goodbye.
“You just take care of your family, Danno,” Steve says and he smiles that smile at him. That smile that says ‘I’m so freaking fond of you’.
“I will,” Danny answers.
“Five-0 will be fine,” Steve adds.
A few more seconds of silence pass between them before Danny says, “Alright then” and reaches out his arm to pull Steve into a bear-hug. Steve slips both arms around Danny’s small frame and breathes out into the crook of Danny’s neck.
“You be safe,” Danny mutters before quickly breaking free and walking away.
Steve watches him go through passport control, and doesn’t miss the look Danny throws over his shoulder before disappearing between the doors.
~~~
When Steve leaves the airport, he goes straight back to HQ, to fill in Chin and Kono. They react pretty much the way Steve expects them to - worried but supportive.
“You are coming back, aren’t you, boss?” Kono asks.
“What? You think I’m gonna get killed out there?” Steve asks, and he doesn’t miss the wince Kono tries to hide so carefully.
“No, I meant…” Kono sighs, “You’re not going back full-time, are you?”
“No,” Steve says quickly, “I… No. Don’t worry about that. It’s just this one time, maybe a week, week and a half, tops. Look… I can’t tell you what it’s about…”
It’s not that Steve doesn’t want to tell, if there was any way he could he would, but he’s never told anyone the details about his SEAL-missions and he’s not about to start now. There will be lots of time doing nothing and waiting for the right moment and maybe, just maybe, Kono and Chin will put the pieces together when in a week or so they’ll watch the news and see some known terrorist apprehended, or maybe they won’t. But the point is, Steve won’t be the one telling them.
“It’s classified. We get that,” Chin says, with a hand on his cousin’s shoulder, “You gotta do what you gotta do, McGarrett. Just… be safe, alright?”
“Thanks,” Steve says, “They want me ready by Sunday evening.”
“How did Danny take it?” Kono asks, and Steve falters a bit.
“Yeah, about that…” he starts, rubbing his hand over his jaw, “I uhm… I didn’t tell him.”
Kono’s eyes go wide and Chin gets that ‘I see what you’re doing’ look in his eyes, and Steve sighs before he explains, “He’s already got enough to worry about, what with his sister and the baby and all… I didn’t want to make it worse.”
“He’d want to know, Steve,” Kono says.
“He would worry and he would yell at me and how is that going to help either of us?” Steve asks, arms wide, “I need you guys to promise me you won’t tell him either.”
“You want us to lie?” Kono asks, and she’s clearly disapproving this.
“Not lie,” Steve says, “Jesus, what are the chances of him asking ‘oh hey, by the way, is McGarrett off on some SEAL mission?’. You just… don’t say anything.”
Steve can tell Kono’s biting her tongue not to say anything. Chin’s quiet for a few moments, then finally agrees.
“You just better come back in one piece,” Chin warns, “’cause there’s going to be hell to pay if anything happens to you and he never even knew you were gone.”
Steve nods curtly, then turns to Kono, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, fine,” she gives in, “I won’t tell. But I reserve the right to kick your ass about this when the shit hits the fan.”
Steve smiles gratefully and heads for his office.
“Which it will, by the way!” Kono shouts before the door to the office closes.
~~~
When his cell phone rings as he’s packing his duffel bag on Sunday afternoon, he’s both thrilled and worried to see that it’s Danny. How is he ever going to explain not being able to talk all the time during the next week or so?
“Danno!” Steve calls into the phone, stuffing the last of his socks into the bag.
“Hawaii not blown up yet?” Danny asks without bothering to even say hello. Steve can hear the tiredness in Danny’s voice, but there’s also some relief at being able to talk to Steve.
“You have so little faith in me,” Steve answers, plopping down on the bed, shoving the duffle bag a little further to the edge of the bed so he can stretch his legs properly, “Besides, I thought you didn’t like our little pineapple infested paradise?”
“Well it certainly isn’t Jersey,” Danny says, and Steve can hear the smile in his voice, “But I’m quite fond of some of the people that live there, namely my daughter, so I would appreciate it if it didn’t get covered in hand grenades while I’m gone.”
“Do you have any idea how many hand grenades it would take to blow up an entire island, Danno?” Steve counters, “That’s just ridiculous.”
“Ah Steve, I see you haven’t changed a bit in those long frightful days that I’ve been gone,” Danny says.
“It’s hardly been two days,” Steve says, “And yet you already seem to be missing me?”
“That is your interpretation of things. I am not confirming anything.”
“See, there’s this river in Egypt, and…”
“Yeah, yeah,” Danny laughs, “Whatever.”
“Tell me,” Steve says, ‘cause as much as he loves to hear Danny laugh, he can’t pretend Danny didn’t go to New Jersey without a reason, “How’s the family? How’s your sister?”
He hears Danny sigh, “Let me tell you something, Steve. If you think a normal woman can be dramatic, you don’t even wanna be around Katie right now!”
“What are you talking about, ‘normal’?” Steve asks, “She’s just pregnant, Danny.”
“Just pregnant?” Danny sputters through the phone, “Just? She’s a bag of hormones on feet, Steven! Even you wouldn’t be able to handle her!”
“Handle an overly dramatic Williams?” Steve says, and he’s deliberately setting the bait now, “I can’t imagine what that would be like.”
“I am never overly dramatic,” Danny says, as if on cue, “I am a calm, serene person, and…”
“Serene?” Steve snorts, and he wonders if it’s bad thing that he can picture the look on Danny’s face perfectly.
“Yes, serene,” Danny goes on, “Am I not the one that always keeps you from doing stupid things?”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Danny,” Steve answers.
“Well we can’t all be without a care in the world, can we?” Danny says, and Steve knows he doesn’t mean anything by it, but he can’t help looking at his duffle bag and think about the week ahead.
He sort of wishes he could tell Danny about it. It’s only pre-mission jitters, Steve tells himself, he’s always had them and they always go away once he’s set foot on the plane. He’s never once had shaking hands when they were wrapped around his rifle, but he always feels like his heart is about to jump out of his chest the day of his departure. Somehow he thinks Danny would be able to calm the nerves though. But he’s not being selfish and putting the burden on Danny. Steve’s always been able to do this alone, he never really had much choice, and just because he has Danny on the other end of the line now doesn’t mean he should trouble him with this.
“Earth to McGarrett. You still there?” Steve hears Danny call out over the phone and realizes he’s checked out a while ago.
“Yeah Sorry, sorry. I’m here,” Steve turns his attention back to the phone.
“I’m not interesting enough for you?” Danny asks, but Steve can hear the laugh, “Because I never knew I’d have to pull out my best material to get you to listen.”
“Am I not worthy of your best material though?” Steve smiles before glancing at the clock. He hates to cut Danny off, but he’s on a deadline.
“Listen Danno,” Steve starts, “I’m sorry, but I’m gonna have to go.”
“Case?” Danny asks, and the lie is out of Steve’s mouth before he knows it, “Yeah. Nothing you need to worry about though. We got it.”
“Now I’m not even needed anymore?” Danny huffs.
“Don’t play insecure,” Steve smiles, “It doesn’t suit you. Besides, you’ve got enough on your hands as it is. So I suggest you just focus on your sister and your family this week. Make sure that baby comes out alright.”
“You realize I won’t be the one delivering it, right?” Danny laughs, “I mean, I bet you’ve delivered tons of babies out on your crazy missions or something. But here in New Jersey we actually have doctors for that.”
“One,” Steve answers.
“What?”
“I’ve delivered one baby,” Steve says calmly, “Not tons.”
“You… Wha? You actually…?” Danny stutters, then bursts out in a laugh, “I was joking! I didn’t think you’d actually… Jeesh, I bet you cut the cord with your teeth or something, GI Joe.”
“You’re being ridiculous again,” Steve huffs, “And it’s all beside the point anyway. You just take care of your sister, and I don’t even wanna hear you ask about Hawaii, alright?”
“Fine,” Danny answers, much to Steve’s relief, “But that does not mean you’re suddenly allowed to do the shit I won’t let you.”
“I’m not even gonna answer when you call next time,” Steve says, sighing dramatically.
“Then I’ll just text you,” Danny answers, before them saying goodbye and hanging up.
Steve exhales sharply before pulling himself up of the bed and swinging his bag over his shoulder. He does one last sweep of the house, making sure everything’s locked up, before heading out the door.
~~~
The first text message comes when Steve’s lying in his bunk, unable to sleep. He’s grateful for the text, ‘cause he isn’t sure how he would’ve been able to explain the need to whisper to Danny if he had called.
‘I will most strenuously deny this when asked, but when did it get so fucking cold in NJ??’
Steve can’t help but smile.
‘Beginning to miss Hawaii, Danno?’
‘I will never admit. ;)’
Steve looks around the room, grateful that his teammates are fast asleep, so they can’t see the goofy smile on his face. He shifts a little in his bed, wondering how he could ever have forgotten the loathsomeness that is trying to sleep when on a mission.
‘No baby yet?’
‘Soon. Mom’s predicting Thursday. Says she has a gift for these things.’
Steve hesitates a little, but sends his next text anyway.
‘No sign of Matt?’
It takes him a few minutes to get an answer, and Steve’s starting to worry. But then the light on his cell phone flickers again.
‘No. Maybe for the best. Don’t want to have to bring him in, you know.’
‘I know. Sorry.’
They keep texting for a while, and after they say their goodbyes, Steve falls asleep almost straight away.
The next text comes when he’s sitting in a jeep, waiting - as predicted.
‘At the hospital. Moment of truth.’
The smile on Steve’s face must’ve been noteworthy because one of his guys asks him about it.
“My partner back home,” Steve smiles, “His sister’s about to give birth.”
“Life doesn’t stop just ‘cause we’re here, eh?” his teammate smiles back, and Steve nods as his fingers sweep over the buttons of his cell phone.
‘Don’t you go biting off the umbilical cord.’
‘Your crazy hasn’t rubbed off on me that much.’
‘She feeling any better yet?’
‘In general, yeah. I think coming here helped. At the mo though? Screaming her lungs out.’
‘Ouch.’
‘Waiting is hell. Distract me.’
‘What am I, your personal entertainment system?’
‘Yes.’
Steve tries hard to muffle his snort, but it ends up a choked sound and he doesn’t miss the looks he’s getting. He bites his lip and looks out the window of the jeep. Funny how sand here and sand at home can be so very different.
‘I think I may have spoiled you too much, D.’
‘Not getting me killed (yet) is your idea of spoiling, is it?’
‘You always make me sound like I’m a monster or something.’
‘And you always know I never mean it. Softie.’
There’s talking in Steve’s earpiece then, and things are getting in motion. He calls out a few orders, the driver gets his ass in gear, and Steve can’t help but send out another quick text before turning off his cell phone and pocketing it, focused on the mission.
‘Gotta go. Case. Lemme know when baby is there.’
He never gets the ‘Be safe’ Danny sends in return.
~~~
When Steve opens his eyes, it takes him a while to register his surroundings. He tries to piece together the puzzle. The last thing he remembers is shouting. He hears himself yell “It’s an ambush” and then there’s a big explosion and more noise, and more light, and more pain. And then everything goes dark.
He tries to swallow away the dryness in his mouth, only half successfully. Looking out the window tells him he’s back in Hawaii. Looking around the room tells him he’s in the hospital. He’s grateful that he doesn’t seem to have a roommate. He’s never been very good with meaningless chitchat.
He tries to shift a little in his bed, straightening up a bit, but the sharp pang in his right leg tells him otherwise. He pulls away the clean hospital sheet to reveal his right thigh wrapped up in heavy bandages. He tries to flex his muscles and is rewarded by more pain. He fumbles for the ‘call’ button hanging off the side of his bed when he hears the toilet in the bathroom flush and a few moments later, he sees Danny appear in the room.
Danny looks… well, pissed off, to be honest. So Steve tries to smile weakly and says, “I think that bathroom’s only for patients.”
Danny blinks a few times, obviously not expecting Steve to be awake, but he clenches his jaw and sits down next to Steve.
Danny doesn’t meet his eyes, and that fact alone makes Steve nervous.
“My men?” he asks hesitantly, and he can tell Danny was hoping to keep his silent streak on for a little while longer, but he could never be so cruel as to refuse Steve this kind of information.
“They’re fine,” Danny answers quietly, “Some of them got hurt, but they’re all gonna live.”
Steve closes his eyes as he lets out a deep breath. The relief washes over him, forcing a smile on his lips.
“How was Jersey?” Steve asks tentatively.
Danny’s head snaps up, eyes finally meeting Steve’s. Steve doesn’t like the emotion he sees in Danny’s eyes one bit. Danny looks like he’s about to chew Steve’s head off.
“How was…?” Danny stutters, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Steve could tell him all his reasons, but he just shrugs and lets Danny continue.
“How could you not tell me?” Danny asks loudly, and his eyes show equal parts anger and hurt now, “How could you go off to God-knows-where on a SEAL-mission without telling me? Seriously, Steve? How could you do that to me?”
“I didn’t want to add yet another thing to your list of things to worry about,” Steve answers truthfully, “I thought I’d be back before you and…”
“And that I’d never know?” Danny asks incredulous.
“Maybe,” Steve says, his fingers playing with the edge of the sheet.
“Unless of course you’d wound up getting yourself killed on this freaking mission!” Danny raises his voice, “And I wouldn’t even have known you were gone! I wouldn’t even have had the chance to say goodbye! Do you not realize that?”
Steve’s chewing his lip now, the thought of Danny having to say goodbye to him hits Steve hard.
“I didn’t think anything was going to happen,” he says meekly.
Danny lets out a choked sound, burying his head in his hands before shouting, “You almost lost your leg, Steve!”
Steve swallows hard, looking down at the bandages that reach from his boxers to below his knee.
“They were this close to amputating in the field, you fucking idiot!” Danny yells, smashing his hand down on the mattress next to Steve.
“Oh,” Steve says, gently letting his hand wander over his leg.
“It’s going to be okay though,” Danny finally adds, deflating a bit, “They couldn’t get your femoral artery to stop bleeding so they thought the only way was to amputate before you bled out.” Danny’s looking decidedly pale as he goes on, “But I guess they got it in the end, before they had to take your leg.”
He rubs his hand over his face, then leans in to grab Steve’s hand. It’s not a gentle touch, but Steve doesn’t mind. He understands Danny’s need to make sure Steve is still there, is still with him, so he squeezes Danny’s hand right back.
“They operated,” Danny goes on, “were able to repair everything. You’re going to make a full recovery.”
“That’s good,” Steve smiles weakly, taking comfort in the pressure of Danny’s hand on his.
“You’re never ever going anywhere without me knowing it though,” Danny says, and Steve can finally see the hint of a smile in Danny’s eyes, “I mean it. You go somewhere, and I’m gonna know about it. You need to take a leak and I’m gonna be there!”
Steve snorts, but Danny just goes on, “I mean it, Steven. How am I going to make sure you don’t disappear into some Godforsaken desert to hunt for terrorists if I’m not keeping an eye on you twenty-four/seven? Huh?”
“I’m not going to crawl out the bathroom window though,” Steve smiles, giving Danny’s hand a quick squeeze again.
“I wouldn’t put it past you,” Danny huffs, scooting his chair closer to the bed.
“How’s your sister?” Steve asks, “The baby?”
A heart-warming smile appears on Danny’s face.
“It’s a boy. A really big beautiful healthy baby boy. And Katie’s so happy.”
“Yeah?” Steve asks, “That’s great, man. Congratulations, Uncle Danny.”
“Godfather Danny, actually…” Danny shrugs, but he can’t help but smile.
“Really?” Steve asks.
“Yeah, she finally decided that the kid needed a Godfather,” Danny says, “And since Matty’s not coming back…”
“Congratulations,” Steve says again, “What’s he called?”
Danny ducks his head quickly, but Steve can still see the blush on his cheeks.
“What?” Steve asks, distinctly curious now, “Is it a horrible name? Did they call him after some sort of tropical fruit or something? Is it something unpronounceable?”
Danny fishes in his pocket, taking out a small keychain in the form of a pacifier. Attached to it is a small bag of sweets, and a little card with a name and a date on it. He hands the package to Steve, who eyes him curiously before reading out the name on the card.
“Steve?” he asks wide-eyed, looking from the small card to Danny.
“Now don’t go thinking this is some sort of tribute to your craziness, alright?” Danny sighs, “I may have been talking about you a bit, and my sister - insane as she is - liked the name and I couldn’t talk her out of it.”
“Steve,” he repeats, with a huge grin on his face.
“Yeah, yeah,” Danny mutters, but letting Steve indulge in his odd sense of pride.
“It’s a good name,” Steve says, winking at Danny.
“He’s never going to join the Navy though, I can tell you that much,” Danny says, relaxing back in his chair, “I got enough on my hands taking care of your crazy ass.”
Steve smiles, and lets his head fall back on his pillow. His one hand is wrapped tightly around the pacifier-keychain, the other around Danny’s. Outside, he can see the sun go down. He tilts his head towards Danny, saying, “You can go home if you want to.”
“No thanks,” Danny smiles, then gets up, “I might switch to the more comfy chair though.”
He slips his hand out of Steve’s, and moves the uncomfortable chair he was sitting on to the side before shoving the comfy chair that was in the corner of the room next to the bed. Steve watches as he chucks off his shoes and draws his legs up as he plops down in the chair. His hand immediately returns to Steve’s side, Steve gripping it instinctively.
“Told you I wasn’t leaving your sight,” Danny smirks, reaching for the remote control of the television that was hanging up on the wall in front of the bed.
“I promise I’m not gonna go off and play SEAL if you decide to leave for the night,” Steve tries to reassure him.
“Sure, maybe,” Danny says, his eyes fixed on the screen.
Steve smiles and starts to drift of a bit when Danny’s voice is soft but distinct.
“It’s not just that though,” he says, “A week apart was enough.”
Steve looks at Danny’s profile, focused on the television, and can’t help but agree, “Yeah. A week was enough.”
He closes his eyes for a second, feeling that sleep isn’t far away. Danny’s hand is hot and heavy in his, and Steve thinks that maybe this is enough. Just being in each other’s presence, having it confirmed by a single touch. Yeah, maybe this is enough. For now.
Recipient: evening_spirit
Title: A Call To Arms
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Steve/Danny; Chin, Kono.
Summary: While Danny’s dealing with a family emergency, Steve tries to hide his own problems.
Warnings: Spoilers for S01E18.
Word Count: 4,457
Disclaimer: All Hawaii Five-0 characters herein are the property of CBS. No copyright infringement is intended. All characters engaging in sexual activity are 16 years or older.
Author's Notes: Beta’d by M.
When Steve steps into Danny’s office, Danny has his phone pressed up against his ear and he’s already sighing heavily. Steve does a ‘should I stay or go’ sign as he sees Danny’s on the phone, but Danny just waves to the empty chair in front of his desk so Steve decides to sit down.
“I know,” Danny says into the phone, “I wish it were different too, but you know that I tried everything I could and… oh please don’t start crying again, Katie, it’s all going to be alright.”
Steve frowns as he watches Danny pinch the bridge of his nose and rub his tired eyes.
“Look, don’t get so worked up,” Danny pleads, “It’s not good for the baby. You need to try and calm down. Hey, give me some time to figure some stuff out and I’ll see if I can’t be there for you when you’re due, alright?”
Steve shifts a little in his chair, his eyes fixed on Danny, who shoots him a weak smile.
“I gotta go now, sweetie,” Danny says into the phone, “It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure it out together, alright? … I love you.”
Danny lets the phone fall to his desk with a deep sigh, then crosses his arms in front of him on the desk and lets his forehead rest on them for a second. Steve doesn’t ask a thing until Danny lifts his head up again and looks at him.
“Your sister?” he asks, and Danny nods.
“She’s due to have her baby in a week and a half, and she’s completely freaking out,” Danny explains, “Even her husband can’t seem to calm her down.”
“Something wrong with the baby?” Steve asks, leaning a little closer to rest his elbows on the desk.
“No no,” Danny waves a hand, slumping back into his chair, “With the baby’s Godfather…”
Steve shoots his a questioning look, and Danny goes on, “It was supposed to be Matty.”
And Steve sees all the pieces fit together now. Sometimes he forgets how much Matt screwed his entire family over by doing what he did. He’s amazed how Danny has kept it together all this time.
“He was so freaking excited,” Danny smiles weakly, “Talked all about how he was gonna take his Godchild everywhere he could, spoil it rotten, and now…”
“It’s not fair, what he did to you guys,” Steve says, but he bites his tongue not to say more, because Danny doesn’t need a repeat of what happened. He knows exactly what Matt did and what the consequences were, and Steve calling Matt a selfish son of a bitch isn’t going to help anyone.
“And with Katie being all hormonal and about to pop out a little one… It’s like she’s only now realizing that the kid’s never going to have any of that stuff with his Godfather,” Danny says, “But she doesn’t want to pick another Godfather ‘cause she says it’d be like betraying Matty.”
Steve opens his mouth but snaps it back shut before he says something impulsive. Danny, however, knows him too well and says, “Yeah, I know. As if Matt even deserves her loyalty, right?”
Danny sighs again and Steve feels the urge to just reach around the desk and offer his friend a pat on the shoulder or a hug, but he stays put and just lets Danny vent.
“It’s all so fucked up, Steve. Katie and Matt were always so close, and it was just a given that he’d be the Godfather. It’s her first kid, and…”
“And you should be there for her,” Steve says, and Danny’s eyes are soft and grateful as they reach Steve’s.
“Yeah?” he asks, “’cause I was going to ask for some time off and…”
“Consider it done,” Steve says without hesitation, “Take however long you need.”
Danny gives him a grateful smile.
“You’re not gonna miss me?” he asks jokingly, but Steve can tell his eyes are tired and this is taking its toll on Danny.
“You should be concerned about your family back home, Danny. Don’t you worry about us. Take all the time you need.” Steve says, because somehow it comes out easier than saying ‘yes, I’ll fucking miss you every day you’re gone.’
~~~
Steve gets the call two days later, and decides instantly that he won’t tell Danny about it. Danny’s scheduled to leave for New Jersey by the weekend, and he already has so much on his plate that Steve decides not to bother him with this as well. He’s sneaky - or so Danny’s always telling him anyway - so he’s sure he can keep this from Danny without a problem.
He insists on dropping Danny off at the airport that Friday afternoon, and even though Danny keeps telling him he could’ve easily taken a taxi, Steve can tell he’s grateful.
“You’re not going to blow up the islands while I’m gone, are you?” Danny asks as he’s standing by the passport control.
“I’ll try and refrain,” Steve smiles, and he tells himself he really isn’t lying - he won’t blow up the islands, he just… won’t be on them.
“Good,” Danny says, nodding, “Well I… I should probably get going.”
He’s got his passport in his hand and a bag thrown over his shoulder, and he’s shuffling on his feet like he isn’t really sure how to say goodbye.
“You just take care of your family, Danno,” Steve says and he smiles that smile at him. That smile that says ‘I’m so freaking fond of you’.
“I will,” Danny answers.
“Five-0 will be fine,” Steve adds.
A few more seconds of silence pass between them before Danny says, “Alright then” and reaches out his arm to pull Steve into a bear-hug. Steve slips both arms around Danny’s small frame and breathes out into the crook of Danny’s neck.
“You be safe,” Danny mutters before quickly breaking free and walking away.
Steve watches him go through passport control, and doesn’t miss the look Danny throws over his shoulder before disappearing between the doors.
~~~
When Steve leaves the airport, he goes straight back to HQ, to fill in Chin and Kono. They react pretty much the way Steve expects them to - worried but supportive.
“You are coming back, aren’t you, boss?” Kono asks.
“What? You think I’m gonna get killed out there?” Steve asks, and he doesn’t miss the wince Kono tries to hide so carefully.
“No, I meant…” Kono sighs, “You’re not going back full-time, are you?”
“No,” Steve says quickly, “I… No. Don’t worry about that. It’s just this one time, maybe a week, week and a half, tops. Look… I can’t tell you what it’s about…”
It’s not that Steve doesn’t want to tell, if there was any way he could he would, but he’s never told anyone the details about his SEAL-missions and he’s not about to start now. There will be lots of time doing nothing and waiting for the right moment and maybe, just maybe, Kono and Chin will put the pieces together when in a week or so they’ll watch the news and see some known terrorist apprehended, or maybe they won’t. But the point is, Steve won’t be the one telling them.
“It’s classified. We get that,” Chin says, with a hand on his cousin’s shoulder, “You gotta do what you gotta do, McGarrett. Just… be safe, alright?”
“Thanks,” Steve says, “They want me ready by Sunday evening.”
“How did Danny take it?” Kono asks, and Steve falters a bit.
“Yeah, about that…” he starts, rubbing his hand over his jaw, “I uhm… I didn’t tell him.”
Kono’s eyes go wide and Chin gets that ‘I see what you’re doing’ look in his eyes, and Steve sighs before he explains, “He’s already got enough to worry about, what with his sister and the baby and all… I didn’t want to make it worse.”
“He’d want to know, Steve,” Kono says.
“He would worry and he would yell at me and how is that going to help either of us?” Steve asks, arms wide, “I need you guys to promise me you won’t tell him either.”
“You want us to lie?” Kono asks, and she’s clearly disapproving this.
“Not lie,” Steve says, “Jesus, what are the chances of him asking ‘oh hey, by the way, is McGarrett off on some SEAL mission?’. You just… don’t say anything.”
Steve can tell Kono’s biting her tongue not to say anything. Chin’s quiet for a few moments, then finally agrees.
“You just better come back in one piece,” Chin warns, “’cause there’s going to be hell to pay if anything happens to you and he never even knew you were gone.”
Steve nods curtly, then turns to Kono, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, fine,” she gives in, “I won’t tell. But I reserve the right to kick your ass about this when the shit hits the fan.”
Steve smiles gratefully and heads for his office.
“Which it will, by the way!” Kono shouts before the door to the office closes.
~~~
When his cell phone rings as he’s packing his duffel bag on Sunday afternoon, he’s both thrilled and worried to see that it’s Danny. How is he ever going to explain not being able to talk all the time during the next week or so?
“Danno!” Steve calls into the phone, stuffing the last of his socks into the bag.
“Hawaii not blown up yet?” Danny asks without bothering to even say hello. Steve can hear the tiredness in Danny’s voice, but there’s also some relief at being able to talk to Steve.
“You have so little faith in me,” Steve answers, plopping down on the bed, shoving the duffle bag a little further to the edge of the bed so he can stretch his legs properly, “Besides, I thought you didn’t like our little pineapple infested paradise?”
“Well it certainly isn’t Jersey,” Danny says, and Steve can hear the smile in his voice, “But I’m quite fond of some of the people that live there, namely my daughter, so I would appreciate it if it didn’t get covered in hand grenades while I’m gone.”
“Do you have any idea how many hand grenades it would take to blow up an entire island, Danno?” Steve counters, “That’s just ridiculous.”
“Ah Steve, I see you haven’t changed a bit in those long frightful days that I’ve been gone,” Danny says.
“It’s hardly been two days,” Steve says, “And yet you already seem to be missing me?”
“That is your interpretation of things. I am not confirming anything.”
“See, there’s this river in Egypt, and…”
“Yeah, yeah,” Danny laughs, “Whatever.”
“Tell me,” Steve says, ‘cause as much as he loves to hear Danny laugh, he can’t pretend Danny didn’t go to New Jersey without a reason, “How’s the family? How’s your sister?”
He hears Danny sigh, “Let me tell you something, Steve. If you think a normal woman can be dramatic, you don’t even wanna be around Katie right now!”
“What are you talking about, ‘normal’?” Steve asks, “She’s just pregnant, Danny.”
“Just pregnant?” Danny sputters through the phone, “Just? She’s a bag of hormones on feet, Steven! Even you wouldn’t be able to handle her!”
“Handle an overly dramatic Williams?” Steve says, and he’s deliberately setting the bait now, “I can’t imagine what that would be like.”
“I am never overly dramatic,” Danny says, as if on cue, “I am a calm, serene person, and…”
“Serene?” Steve snorts, and he wonders if it’s bad thing that he can picture the look on Danny’s face perfectly.
“Yes, serene,” Danny goes on, “Am I not the one that always keeps you from doing stupid things?”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Danny,” Steve answers.
“Well we can’t all be without a care in the world, can we?” Danny says, and Steve knows he doesn’t mean anything by it, but he can’t help looking at his duffle bag and think about the week ahead.
He sort of wishes he could tell Danny about it. It’s only pre-mission jitters, Steve tells himself, he’s always had them and they always go away once he’s set foot on the plane. He’s never once had shaking hands when they were wrapped around his rifle, but he always feels like his heart is about to jump out of his chest the day of his departure. Somehow he thinks Danny would be able to calm the nerves though. But he’s not being selfish and putting the burden on Danny. Steve’s always been able to do this alone, he never really had much choice, and just because he has Danny on the other end of the line now doesn’t mean he should trouble him with this.
“Earth to McGarrett. You still there?” Steve hears Danny call out over the phone and realizes he’s checked out a while ago.
“Yeah Sorry, sorry. I’m here,” Steve turns his attention back to the phone.
“I’m not interesting enough for you?” Danny asks, but Steve can hear the laugh, “Because I never knew I’d have to pull out my best material to get you to listen.”
“Am I not worthy of your best material though?” Steve smiles before glancing at the clock. He hates to cut Danny off, but he’s on a deadline.
“Listen Danno,” Steve starts, “I’m sorry, but I’m gonna have to go.”
“Case?” Danny asks, and the lie is out of Steve’s mouth before he knows it, “Yeah. Nothing you need to worry about though. We got it.”
“Now I’m not even needed anymore?” Danny huffs.
“Don’t play insecure,” Steve smiles, “It doesn’t suit you. Besides, you’ve got enough on your hands as it is. So I suggest you just focus on your sister and your family this week. Make sure that baby comes out alright.”
“You realize I won’t be the one delivering it, right?” Danny laughs, “I mean, I bet you’ve delivered tons of babies out on your crazy missions or something. But here in New Jersey we actually have doctors for that.”
“One,” Steve answers.
“What?”
“I’ve delivered one baby,” Steve says calmly, “Not tons.”
“You… Wha? You actually…?” Danny stutters, then bursts out in a laugh, “I was joking! I didn’t think you’d actually… Jeesh, I bet you cut the cord with your teeth or something, GI Joe.”
“You’re being ridiculous again,” Steve huffs, “And it’s all beside the point anyway. You just take care of your sister, and I don’t even wanna hear you ask about Hawaii, alright?”
“Fine,” Danny answers, much to Steve’s relief, “But that does not mean you’re suddenly allowed to do the shit I won’t let you.”
“I’m not even gonna answer when you call next time,” Steve says, sighing dramatically.
“Then I’ll just text you,” Danny answers, before them saying goodbye and hanging up.
Steve exhales sharply before pulling himself up of the bed and swinging his bag over his shoulder. He does one last sweep of the house, making sure everything’s locked up, before heading out the door.
~~~
The first text message comes when Steve’s lying in his bunk, unable to sleep. He’s grateful for the text, ‘cause he isn’t sure how he would’ve been able to explain the need to whisper to Danny if he had called.
‘I will most strenuously deny this when asked, but when did it get so fucking cold in NJ??’
Steve can’t help but smile.
‘Beginning to miss Hawaii, Danno?’
‘I will never admit. ;)’
Steve looks around the room, grateful that his teammates are fast asleep, so they can’t see the goofy smile on his face. He shifts a little in his bed, wondering how he could ever have forgotten the loathsomeness that is trying to sleep when on a mission.
‘No baby yet?’
‘Soon. Mom’s predicting Thursday. Says she has a gift for these things.’
Steve hesitates a little, but sends his next text anyway.
‘No sign of Matt?’
It takes him a few minutes to get an answer, and Steve’s starting to worry. But then the light on his cell phone flickers again.
‘No. Maybe for the best. Don’t want to have to bring him in, you know.’
‘I know. Sorry.’
They keep texting for a while, and after they say their goodbyes, Steve falls asleep almost straight away.
The next text comes when he’s sitting in a jeep, waiting - as predicted.
‘At the hospital. Moment of truth.’
The smile on Steve’s face must’ve been noteworthy because one of his guys asks him about it.
“My partner back home,” Steve smiles, “His sister’s about to give birth.”
“Life doesn’t stop just ‘cause we’re here, eh?” his teammate smiles back, and Steve nods as his fingers sweep over the buttons of his cell phone.
‘Don’t you go biting off the umbilical cord.’
‘Your crazy hasn’t rubbed off on me that much.’
‘She feeling any better yet?’
‘In general, yeah. I think coming here helped. At the mo though? Screaming her lungs out.’
‘Ouch.’
‘Waiting is hell. Distract me.’
‘What am I, your personal entertainment system?’
‘Yes.’
Steve tries hard to muffle his snort, but it ends up a choked sound and he doesn’t miss the looks he’s getting. He bites his lip and looks out the window of the jeep. Funny how sand here and sand at home can be so very different.
‘I think I may have spoiled you too much, D.’
‘Not getting me killed (yet) is your idea of spoiling, is it?’
‘You always make me sound like I’m a monster or something.’
‘And you always know I never mean it. Softie.’
There’s talking in Steve’s earpiece then, and things are getting in motion. He calls out a few orders, the driver gets his ass in gear, and Steve can’t help but send out another quick text before turning off his cell phone and pocketing it, focused on the mission.
‘Gotta go. Case. Lemme know when baby is there.’
He never gets the ‘Be safe’ Danny sends in return.
~~~
When Steve opens his eyes, it takes him a while to register his surroundings. He tries to piece together the puzzle. The last thing he remembers is shouting. He hears himself yell “It’s an ambush” and then there’s a big explosion and more noise, and more light, and more pain. And then everything goes dark.
He tries to swallow away the dryness in his mouth, only half successfully. Looking out the window tells him he’s back in Hawaii. Looking around the room tells him he’s in the hospital. He’s grateful that he doesn’t seem to have a roommate. He’s never been very good with meaningless chitchat.
He tries to shift a little in his bed, straightening up a bit, but the sharp pang in his right leg tells him otherwise. He pulls away the clean hospital sheet to reveal his right thigh wrapped up in heavy bandages. He tries to flex his muscles and is rewarded by more pain. He fumbles for the ‘call’ button hanging off the side of his bed when he hears the toilet in the bathroom flush and a few moments later, he sees Danny appear in the room.
Danny looks… well, pissed off, to be honest. So Steve tries to smile weakly and says, “I think that bathroom’s only for patients.”
Danny blinks a few times, obviously not expecting Steve to be awake, but he clenches his jaw and sits down next to Steve.
Danny doesn’t meet his eyes, and that fact alone makes Steve nervous.
“My men?” he asks hesitantly, and he can tell Danny was hoping to keep his silent streak on for a little while longer, but he could never be so cruel as to refuse Steve this kind of information.
“They’re fine,” Danny answers quietly, “Some of them got hurt, but they’re all gonna live.”
Steve closes his eyes as he lets out a deep breath. The relief washes over him, forcing a smile on his lips.
“How was Jersey?” Steve asks tentatively.
Danny’s head snaps up, eyes finally meeting Steve’s. Steve doesn’t like the emotion he sees in Danny’s eyes one bit. Danny looks like he’s about to chew Steve’s head off.
“How was…?” Danny stutters, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Steve could tell him all his reasons, but he just shrugs and lets Danny continue.
“How could you not tell me?” Danny asks loudly, and his eyes show equal parts anger and hurt now, “How could you go off to God-knows-where on a SEAL-mission without telling me? Seriously, Steve? How could you do that to me?”
“I didn’t want to add yet another thing to your list of things to worry about,” Steve answers truthfully, “I thought I’d be back before you and…”
“And that I’d never know?” Danny asks incredulous.
“Maybe,” Steve says, his fingers playing with the edge of the sheet.
“Unless of course you’d wound up getting yourself killed on this freaking mission!” Danny raises his voice, “And I wouldn’t even have known you were gone! I wouldn’t even have had the chance to say goodbye! Do you not realize that?”
Steve’s chewing his lip now, the thought of Danny having to say goodbye to him hits Steve hard.
“I didn’t think anything was going to happen,” he says meekly.
Danny lets out a choked sound, burying his head in his hands before shouting, “You almost lost your leg, Steve!”
Steve swallows hard, looking down at the bandages that reach from his boxers to below his knee.
“They were this close to amputating in the field, you fucking idiot!” Danny yells, smashing his hand down on the mattress next to Steve.
“Oh,” Steve says, gently letting his hand wander over his leg.
“It’s going to be okay though,” Danny finally adds, deflating a bit, “They couldn’t get your femoral artery to stop bleeding so they thought the only way was to amputate before you bled out.” Danny’s looking decidedly pale as he goes on, “But I guess they got it in the end, before they had to take your leg.”
He rubs his hand over his face, then leans in to grab Steve’s hand. It’s not a gentle touch, but Steve doesn’t mind. He understands Danny’s need to make sure Steve is still there, is still with him, so he squeezes Danny’s hand right back.
“They operated,” Danny goes on, “were able to repair everything. You’re going to make a full recovery.”
“That’s good,” Steve smiles weakly, taking comfort in the pressure of Danny’s hand on his.
“You’re never ever going anywhere without me knowing it though,” Danny says, and Steve can finally see the hint of a smile in Danny’s eyes, “I mean it. You go somewhere, and I’m gonna know about it. You need to take a leak and I’m gonna be there!”
Steve snorts, but Danny just goes on, “I mean it, Steven. How am I going to make sure you don’t disappear into some Godforsaken desert to hunt for terrorists if I’m not keeping an eye on you twenty-four/seven? Huh?”
“I’m not going to crawl out the bathroom window though,” Steve smiles, giving Danny’s hand a quick squeeze again.
“I wouldn’t put it past you,” Danny huffs, scooting his chair closer to the bed.
“How’s your sister?” Steve asks, “The baby?”
A heart-warming smile appears on Danny’s face.
“It’s a boy. A really big beautiful healthy baby boy. And Katie’s so happy.”
“Yeah?” Steve asks, “That’s great, man. Congratulations, Uncle Danny.”
“Godfather Danny, actually…” Danny shrugs, but he can’t help but smile.
“Really?” Steve asks.
“Yeah, she finally decided that the kid needed a Godfather,” Danny says, “And since Matty’s not coming back…”
“Congratulations,” Steve says again, “What’s he called?”
Danny ducks his head quickly, but Steve can still see the blush on his cheeks.
“What?” Steve asks, distinctly curious now, “Is it a horrible name? Did they call him after some sort of tropical fruit or something? Is it something unpronounceable?”
Danny fishes in his pocket, taking out a small keychain in the form of a pacifier. Attached to it is a small bag of sweets, and a little card with a name and a date on it. He hands the package to Steve, who eyes him curiously before reading out the name on the card.
“Steve?” he asks wide-eyed, looking from the small card to Danny.
“Now don’t go thinking this is some sort of tribute to your craziness, alright?” Danny sighs, “I may have been talking about you a bit, and my sister - insane as she is - liked the name and I couldn’t talk her out of it.”
“Steve,” he repeats, with a huge grin on his face.
“Yeah, yeah,” Danny mutters, but letting Steve indulge in his odd sense of pride.
“It’s a good name,” Steve says, winking at Danny.
“He’s never going to join the Navy though, I can tell you that much,” Danny says, relaxing back in his chair, “I got enough on my hands taking care of your crazy ass.”
Steve smiles, and lets his head fall back on his pillow. His one hand is wrapped tightly around the pacifier-keychain, the other around Danny’s. Outside, he can see the sun go down. He tilts his head towards Danny, saying, “You can go home if you want to.”
“No thanks,” Danny smiles, then gets up, “I might switch to the more comfy chair though.”
He slips his hand out of Steve’s, and moves the uncomfortable chair he was sitting on to the side before shoving the comfy chair that was in the corner of the room next to the bed. Steve watches as he chucks off his shoes and draws his legs up as he plops down in the chair. His hand immediately returns to Steve’s side, Steve gripping it instinctively.
“Told you I wasn’t leaving your sight,” Danny smirks, reaching for the remote control of the television that was hanging up on the wall in front of the bed.
“I promise I’m not gonna go off and play SEAL if you decide to leave for the night,” Steve tries to reassure him.
“Sure, maybe,” Danny says, his eyes fixed on the screen.
Steve smiles and starts to drift of a bit when Danny’s voice is soft but distinct.
“It’s not just that though,” he says, “A week apart was enough.”
Steve looks at Danny’s profile, focused on the television, and can’t help but agree, “Yeah. A week was enough.”
He closes his eyes for a second, feeling that sleep isn’t far away. Danny’s hand is hot and heavy in his, and Steve thinks that maybe this is enough. Just being in each other’s presence, having it confirmed by a single touch. Yeah, maybe this is enough. For now.