to our waiter at dinner tonight: i apologize for this conversation again

[gyzym]

Waiter: And our special tonight is a cut of wild boar, served with--
My Father: Wait, boar, like--what's his name, hangs out with the meerkat, tusks, with the song--
Me: You're thinking of Pumba.
Burro: What?
Burrito: Pumba, from the Lion King!
Burro: I thought he was an elephant.
My Mother: No, he was--an elephant? He was a boar, he was

Comments

[epistolic]

Ahahaha, oh God. Your family. ♥

[gyzym]

I CAN'T TAKE THEM ANYWHERE

[iseame]

LMAO OMG YOUR WHOLE FAMILY JUST MADE MY NIGHT. THANK YOU.

[gyzym]

MY DAD SUNG HAKUNA MATATA EVERY TIME THE WAITER WALKED BY FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT DJFSDHFSDF

[iseame]

LKAJFLKJDKFHA HE IS OFFICIALLY MY HERO. WHO WAS HE? SIMBA, PUMBA, OR TIMON?!

*__________*

[gyzym]

dfhsdfhsdjfsk YOU ARE GIVING HIM TOO MUCH CREDIT. He only knows one part of that song, and that is the part where they sing "It's a problem free philosophyyyyyyyyyyy, Hakuna Matata!" He just sang that over and over.

In falsetto.

[false_alexis]

WARTHOG. Pumba is a WARTHOG.

(I'm pretty sure that's not what I'm supposed to take from this. Sorry. Also your family is hilarious and frighteningly similar to mine.)

[gyzym]

dshgsdjghsjdk OH MY GOD AHAHAHAH THAT JUST MAKES IT BETTER.

I am calling him and telling him that right now. RIGHT NOW.

[false_alexis]

I so hope he does go back and order the boar. And that he learns the rest of Hakuna Matata.

Why, when he was a young warthog-

When I was a young warHOOOOOOOOOG!

(THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD. My father would never make this mistake, because he has forcibly blocked everything relating to The Lion King from his brain after I made him watch it for the 50th time.)

[chaoticallyclev]

Was Burro mixing The Lion King with Tarzan? <--- only thought of this because Tarzan is on tv right now.

SPEAKING OF FAMILIES.

Okay, I am very sad that my phone cannot, will not, DOES NOT let me get pictures from it to the internet. it is just-- not possible. BECAUSE I HAVE THE GREATIES MOST CLASSIEST PICTURE EVER WHICH EXPLAINS MY FAMILY.

So, my family made a store run last night, mostly for ice cream since it was Grey's Anatomy night. For this reason, my dad tagged along to get a beer. A beer. Beer singular. As in a can, a bottle, whatever. ONE BEER. He comes up to us on the ice cream aisle --where my mother is squinting at various small containers at ice cream trying to figure out which one has less calories because she does not understand the concept of ice cream anymore -- and he is holding what has to be the largest beer can I have ever seen. Because, while it is beer in a container that is can shaped, it is in fact a keg. A mini keg-can of beer. Seriously. This is in our fridge right now, right in front of three wine bottles

[gyzym]

gjdshgdsgjdshgjdk SO CLASSY :D :D :D :D

[chaoticallyclev]

I made the mistake of looking for something in the pantry once when a new friend was over and her eyes almost popped out of her head because the entire top self is just-- wine. all the wine. The wine racks of wine. To go along with the larger wine rack on the coffee table and then the wine in the fridge. it was all awkward laughter and promises that no one in my family actually drinks that much my parents just joined a wine club. Really. that's. Okay, well then there's the cases of beer and the mini keg-- why don't we just go-- somewhere where we look less like alcoholics. *headdesk*

[gyzym]

dfsdjfh when they were renovating the house we moved into when I started high school, my parents had a wine rack put in next to the microwave and above the stove, filled it wine, and THEN realized that THE HEAT WOULD RUIN THE WINE.

And then, instead of moving it, they just left it like that. Those wine bottles are still there. God help anyone who tries to open one without knowing better.

[wheres_walnut]

DYING. YOUR FAMILY. YES.

[gyzym]

I DON'T EVEN. NUTTTTTT HOW ARE THEY REAL PEOPLEEEEEE