i am the jealousest bitch to ever be jealous all he has to do is say a girl's name, even if they're just friends, even if he doesn't even know this girl if he brings any girl up EVER, i get jealous and get all depressed like immediately. and it pisses me off bad. i can't stand myself sometimes because of it. because i am a damn hypocrite as well.
seriously, i started crying when i read his post. what the fuck is that all about? i have always told david " i dont want to hold you back. if you'd be happier without me, do it. i just want to see you happy" but i guess i was a liar. i just didnt know it then. but i dont want to see him happy- unless its with me. if not with me then i just plain dont want to fucking see it. or read about it. or what the fuck ever. but i dont want to be left in the dark about his life. i guess... i am just not mature enough for anything right now. what the fuuuck.
i totally understand what you're saying. that's how i am too. i always told him that i wanted him to be happy, but i never felt like i wanted him to be happy. i knew i never wanted to see him with anyone else. and it made me feel totally guilty and like a bitch but it was the truth. a lot of people lie about this shit, and pretend that when they go through a breakup or whatever, they aren't selfish at all. that is almost always pretend. at least with me and you, we tell the truth about how we feel jealous and everything, instead of just lying to make ourselves look better.
try not to be so hard on yourself about this, because it's pretty much human nature, even though it sucks. you care about him, so of course you aren't going to be happy to see him like someone else. that is fucking hard to deal with it and i know it. so i understand where you're coming from.
it is definately hard to deal with. especially with all the other crap going on in my life. i have such intense mental block. i just CANNOT write this paper. it can either be on "Crisis of belief" or "Lessons from disaster" i have had both of the two, but none of which i want to share with my english teacher. Do you think i would get in trouble if i wrote a fictional story about that? because i think that is what i am going to do. i mean, he cant really want to know that much about our lives, and even so, i dont want him to know that much about my life. fuck fuck fuck. i hate this. i am calling david.
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all he has to do is say a girl's name, even if they're just friends, even if he doesn't even know this girl
if he brings any girl up EVER, i get jealous and get all depressed like immediately.
and it pisses me off bad.
i can't stand myself sometimes because of it. because i am a damn hypocrite as well.
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try not to be so hard on yourself about this, because it's pretty much human nature, even though it sucks. you care about him, so of course you aren't going to be happy to see him like someone else. that is fucking hard to deal with it and i know it. so i understand where you're coming from.
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