The broccoli test
I thought about writing about the release of the original Star Wars movies on DVD today, because I was one of those folks who was at the premiere of the first movie and have often written about the way it completely changed filmgoing as we knew it then. But, yawn. I'm sure everyone else will talk about it this week at least from the historical perspective. I was fascinated by the fact that I knew I was watching a sea change in filmgoing even while I was at the theatre. And like many, I'm disappointed in the changes to the movies wrought by Lucas's annoying need to soften and crowd his visuals, especially because Han Solo shot first, goddammit, and I will never stop being peeved that the film has been changed so much that only those people with laserdisc versions and bad tapes will have that preserved in anything but memory.
But it got me thinking about how I've always wanted to vid Star Wars, especially Han. Yet, strangely, it's never been a huge fandom for me, despite the hundreds of viewings of the first movie and its even better sequel, The Empire Strikes Back. (Jedi I can seriously live without, though it does have some good moments.) There are two great fanfic writers that I know of who've written excellent H/L slash, Cara Loupe and Marie Blackpool, and I loved reading those stories. Yet I never have been tempted to write them, myself, which I couldn't really figure out.
I thought about the people I'm most drawn to writing and tend to vid the most, and it dawned on me when I was telling mlyn about the broccoli test, just what connects characters to me besides my interest in increasingly taciturn men: all of my favorite fannish pairings are characters who pass the broccoli test. Much as I love many others, if they're not broccoli test material, I don't feel as much of a desire to write about them.
I know I will get a lot of this wrong, since I'm telling it from memory over a decade old, but sherrold was the one who came up with the broccoli test idea when she was living in L.A. with a friend, C. As legend, and my mind filling in blanks, would tell it, Sandy and C were at the grocery store, on opposite ends of the produce section, and Sandy was trying to tell C to pick up some broccoli without shouting across the store at her. No amount of pantomiming and mouthing of the words could get the point across to C, and Sandy apparently told her (we were all in the midst of Professionals-mania then), "Doyle would have known Bodie wanted him to pick up some broccoli with just a raise of his eyebrow!" or something like that. Hence, Bodie and Doyle would have passed the broccoli test. (Sandy, please correct my wrongness here!)
And they do. The best pairings, for me, are ones who never have to explain what they want beyond a mere eyebrow-raise or a twitch of the head. Especially because I seem to be attracted to less and less talkative guys -- I've gone from the decidedly unchatty Lt. Castillo on Miami Vice to the churlish AD Skinner on X-Files to the nearly speechless Michael on La Femme Nikita to the taciturn pairing of Chris and Vin in Magnificent 7, culminating in the character who speaks 74 words through an entire two-hour movie, Sgt. Todd in Soldier. These days, I am liking the emotionally volatile but not especially loquacious Dominic Toretto. Spike is a freakish anomoly.
All of these guys pass the broccoli test with their (my) partner of choice. Dom merely looks at Brian after Jesse is killed in The Fast and the Furious, and Brian knows exactly what he wants him to do. After they finally get together and they know their true feelings, Michael can stare blankly at Nikita and she knows what he's telling her. In watching MV eps lately, it's amazing how much Castillo and Crockett say to each other without ever talking. And Chris and Vin... they were passing the broccoli test before they even met! The very first time they even see each other, they exchange a look across a wide street and nod their heads so slightly that if you're not watching carefully, you'd miss it, and then they go off to save a guy from being lynched! They've never even seen each other before. The uber-broccoli test masters, if you ask me.
Luke and Han, though, not so much. Nor Eddie and Monty, nor Angel and Buffy. For such a laconic guy, Angel with Buffy never had that broccoli test quality; though oddly, Spike and Buffy get very close frequently for reasons that mystify me, since Spike is so absurdly chatty and strange. Once he was on Buffy's side, they seemed to have a wierdly connected quality, especially in fighting. Maybe that's another reason why I hate the second half of season 6 so much -- they wrecked the broccoli test quality that Buffy and Spike had cultivated. Angel and Spike have no ability to pass the test at all, but it's charming because they try and we get great comic results. Angel and Wes, also, feint close to it, but never quite get there.
I'll often vid characters who can't pass the test, but I seem to have a tough time writing them -- the one thing that draws me most, a taciturn character paired with a chattier, more social one, is often just hated by most fans, who can't figure out how to write guys who don't talk. But for me that's a huge attraction -- I want that character to tilt his head slightly and the other character to go running off after bad guys. I want oceans of emotion to be conveyed with just a tiny quirk of the mouth. If they're on opposite ends of the produce aisle, I want one to know the other needs broccoli! Because that's the fun in writing in them, I suppose -- trying to convey that intangible quality yourself through words. So I guess there are many fannish loves, but only the most intense will pass the broccoli test, and only those who pass will drive me to write fanfic.
And now this is making me think of Dorinda's theory of clams, which I suppose I'll have to talk about in light of the broccoli test. Mmmmm. Clams and broccoli -- D, we should write an essay!
But it got me thinking about how I've always wanted to vid Star Wars, especially Han. Yet, strangely, it's never been a huge fandom for me, despite the hundreds of viewings of the first movie and its even better sequel, The Empire Strikes Back. (Jedi I can seriously live without, though it does have some good moments.) There are two great fanfic writers that I know of who've written excellent H/L slash, Cara Loupe and Marie Blackpool, and I loved reading those stories. Yet I never have been tempted to write them, myself, which I couldn't really figure out.
I thought about the people I'm most drawn to writing and tend to vid the most, and it dawned on me when I was telling mlyn about the broccoli test, just what connects characters to me besides my interest in increasingly taciturn men: all of my favorite fannish pairings are characters who pass the broccoli test. Much as I love many others, if they're not broccoli test material, I don't feel as much of a desire to write about them.
I know I will get a lot of this wrong, since I'm telling it from memory over a decade old, but sherrold was the one who came up with the broccoli test idea when she was living in L.A. with a friend, C. As legend, and my mind filling in blanks, would tell it, Sandy and C were at the grocery store, on opposite ends of the produce section, and Sandy was trying to tell C to pick up some broccoli without shouting across the store at her. No amount of pantomiming and mouthing of the words could get the point across to C, and Sandy apparently told her (we were all in the midst of Professionals-mania then), "Doyle would have known Bodie wanted him to pick up some broccoli with just a raise of his eyebrow!" or something like that. Hence, Bodie and Doyle would have passed the broccoli test. (Sandy, please correct my wrongness here!)
And they do. The best pairings, for me, are ones who never have to explain what they want beyond a mere eyebrow-raise or a twitch of the head. Especially because I seem to be attracted to less and less talkative guys -- I've gone from the decidedly unchatty Lt. Castillo on Miami Vice to the churlish AD Skinner on X-Files to the nearly speechless Michael on La Femme Nikita to the taciturn pairing of Chris and Vin in Magnificent 7, culminating in the character who speaks 74 words through an entire two-hour movie, Sgt. Todd in Soldier. These days, I am liking the emotionally volatile but not especially loquacious Dominic Toretto. Spike is a freakish anomoly.
All of these guys pass the broccoli test with their (my) partner of choice. Dom merely looks at Brian after Jesse is killed in The Fast and the Furious, and Brian knows exactly what he wants him to do. After they finally get together and they know their true feelings, Michael can stare blankly at Nikita and she knows what he's telling her. In watching MV eps lately, it's amazing how much Castillo and Crockett say to each other without ever talking. And Chris and Vin... they were passing the broccoli test before they even met! The very first time they even see each other, they exchange a look across a wide street and nod their heads so slightly that if you're not watching carefully, you'd miss it, and then they go off to save a guy from being lynched! They've never even seen each other before. The uber-broccoli test masters, if you ask me.
Luke and Han, though, not so much. Nor Eddie and Monty, nor Angel and Buffy. For such a laconic guy, Angel with Buffy never had that broccoli test quality; though oddly, Spike and Buffy get very close frequently for reasons that mystify me, since Spike is so absurdly chatty and strange. Once he was on Buffy's side, they seemed to have a wierdly connected quality, especially in fighting. Maybe that's another reason why I hate the second half of season 6 so much -- they wrecked the broccoli test quality that Buffy and Spike had cultivated. Angel and Spike have no ability to pass the test at all, but it's charming because they try and we get great comic results. Angel and Wes, also, feint close to it, but never quite get there.
I'll often vid characters who can't pass the test, but I seem to have a tough time writing them -- the one thing that draws me most, a taciturn character paired with a chattier, more social one, is often just hated by most fans, who can't figure out how to write guys who don't talk. But for me that's a huge attraction -- I want that character to tilt his head slightly and the other character to go running off after bad guys. I want oceans of emotion to be conveyed with just a tiny quirk of the mouth. If they're on opposite ends of the produce aisle, I want one to know the other needs broccoli! Because that's the fun in writing in them, I suppose -- trying to convey that intangible quality yourself through words. So I guess there are many fannish loves, but only the most intense will pass the broccoli test, and only those who pass will drive me to write fanfic.
And now this is making me think of Dorinda's theory of clams, which I suppose I'll have to talk about in light of the broccoli test. Mmmmm. Clams and broccoli -- D, we should write an essay!