Enough For A Year
Matsumiya. G. Fluff. Unbetaed.
Matsumiya pair doesn't really do heart-to-heart talks. But when they do, it's diabetic (and serious as hell. But, mostly, diabetic).
Jun changed his position for the n-th time that night. He was restless. He couldn’t sleep. A lot of thoughts floated across his mind and he couldn’t just let them be. Especially when the object of his every thoughts was there next to him, hissing occasionally in his sleep.
Jun decided to turn on his side and faced Nino. The man looked a bit pale and his face was showing signs of exhaustion. He cringed a lot earlier - especially when he shifted his body - but right then he was a lot more peaceful. His chest was rising and dropping steadily and his body had stopped jerking every now and then.
Jun sighed silently. There’s this nagging feeling that he couldn’t erase since Nino complained about his back again. It’s not something new, and that’s the reason why Jun found himself thinking about it again and again. The pain kept repeating itself and even though Nino said he could endure it, Jun couldn’t help but to think about the day when Nino would say otherwise.
Without he even realized it, his hand was already hovering near Nino’s face. He suddenly had the urge to keep Nino close; to soothe him from the aching pain and protect him from anything that might harm him. He wanted to wrap Nino with warmth and let Nino stop saying that it’s okay.
But Nino moved and Jun pulled his hand back instinctively. He closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep out of reflect. His heart was hammering his ribcage, somehow feeling like he was about to get busted doing something that was not right.
Then, Jun felt cold fingers latched themselves to his wrist and pulled his hand until it landed on something soft. Jun opened his eyes and he found his hand on Nino’s cheek, Nino’s hand keeping it there firmly.
“You’re worried,” Nino pointed out. He brushed his thumb on the back of Jun’s hand that he kept on his cheek.
Jun could only look away. He’s not good at this. He had never been. They had never been good in talks about feelings and worries and whatnot.
“Hey, let’s talk, okay? You’re missing your sleep and it makes me worried,” Nino’s voice sounded soft and genuinely worried, it made Jun’s wall of emotion crumble.
It was their cue, Jun’s brain noticed vaguely. It was the sign that they’re having the rare let’s-say-it-all-and-move-on talk. It was the sign that they’re about to do what they’re so bad at; saying things out loud without jokes and the like as buffer.
Jun inhaled and exhaled deeply. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and when he opened it again, he caressed Nino’s cheek to calm himself down, “Yeah, I’m- I’m worried.”
“About?” Nino asked and Jun got a bit irritated because- wasn’t it obvious?
But Jun knew Nino only wanted him to spell it out so he could feel better, so he did exactly that, “I’m worried about you. About your back. About the future and how we’ll get through it.”
Nino smiled but he didn’t say anything. He was still waiting because he knew Jun still had more than that.
“I have a dream and I’ve been holding on to it since forever,” Jun said in tiny voice, “And to think that at some point you might have to stop being in that dream--”
Jun couldn’t continue further and Nino was fine with that because he understood. He understood how Jun was getting afraid because that dream was the future that he believed on and now there’s a possibility that it might not be as sure as he believed it was. He understood how affected Jun was with Nino’s condition because Nino had a big role in that dream.
“You have the dream, Jun,” Nino said slowly. He hesitated for a micro second but he crushed the hesitation in a blink of an eye. Jun had done his part of voicing his thoughts out, it would be unfair if he just stopped there like that, “And I have you. We’ve made it until now. I have made it until now. We just have to keep on going like this and we will eventually reach that dream. Together.”
Jun opened his mouth and closed it again. He savored the little heart-quake that occurred inside of him because it was unusual for either of them to talk all blunt about feelings like that. He exhaled a deep breath before he said, “I don’t know.. I start to think that.. maybe we should stop singing and dancing once we’re in our 40s.”
Nino kept silent for a moment. Then he chuckled because he deemed it necessary to take a brief break, “Yeah, maybe we should.”
And Jun was visibly deflated. Oh, how Nino wanted to just pinch Jun’s cheeks because he’s somehow too cute, all worried and disappointed like that.
“But I can assure you that it wouldn’t be because of me,” Nino tugged Jun’s wrist gently to gain Jun’s attention again. He smirked when he continued, “Probably because of the old men Ohno and Sakurai, but not because of Ninomiya because Ninomiya would still be young and hot.”
Jun laughed and he pushed Nino slightly. Somehow, the brief intermezzo lifted up the tension nicely - just enough for them to be able to continue.
Nino kept holding on Jun’s hand until their laughter decreased. Then, he took a deep breath and stared right into Jun’s eyes, starting the talk again, “Don’t alter your dream because of me. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if that happened.”
“But I don’t want you to push yourself too much because of me,” Jun’s fingers danced on Nino’s skin, “Without you the dream would be nothing, anyway.”
“I would never push myself too much,” Nino promised, “If I could do more than I’m capable to, it’s because of you. It’s always been. So, don’t waste your breath worrying about me, just be there with me and everything will be alright. Just like it’s always been.”
Jun wanted to argue on that but Nino leaned in to silent him with a peck on his lips.
It’s a wrap. And Nino didn’t want to negotiate about it.
“We just did enough heart-to-heart talks for a year, don’t you think?” Nino’s tone was back to his usual sharp and witty tone.
Jun chuckled. All the words that was voiced out that night made him feel all weird and he agreed, “Yeah.”
Nino wormed his hand to Jun’s back and pulled the younger to his chest, “Then, just one more wouldn’t hurt, would it?”
Jun quirked up his brow, he didn’t quite get it.
“I love you,” Nino said and Jun felt all warm and fine and gooey and overwhelmed that he suspected that his bones turned into jelly and his insides turned into butterfly garden.
Yeah, they did enough heart-to-heart talks for a year.
I don't know what this is. I'm just- The fact that Nino's back is- I- *sighs because I can't talk about it coherently*
Matsumiya pair doesn't really do heart-to-heart talks. But when they do, it's diabetic (and serious as hell. But, mostly, diabetic).
Jun changed his position for the n-th time that night. He was restless. He couldn’t sleep. A lot of thoughts floated across his mind and he couldn’t just let them be. Especially when the object of his every thoughts was there next to him, hissing occasionally in his sleep.
Jun decided to turn on his side and faced Nino. The man looked a bit pale and his face was showing signs of exhaustion. He cringed a lot earlier - especially when he shifted his body - but right then he was a lot more peaceful. His chest was rising and dropping steadily and his body had stopped jerking every now and then.
Jun sighed silently. There’s this nagging feeling that he couldn’t erase since Nino complained about his back again. It’s not something new, and that’s the reason why Jun found himself thinking about it again and again. The pain kept repeating itself and even though Nino said he could endure it, Jun couldn’t help but to think about the day when Nino would say otherwise.
Without he even realized it, his hand was already hovering near Nino’s face. He suddenly had the urge to keep Nino close; to soothe him from the aching pain and protect him from anything that might harm him. He wanted to wrap Nino with warmth and let Nino stop saying that it’s okay.
But Nino moved and Jun pulled his hand back instinctively. He closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep out of reflect. His heart was hammering his ribcage, somehow feeling like he was about to get busted doing something that was not right.
Then, Jun felt cold fingers latched themselves to his wrist and pulled his hand until it landed on something soft. Jun opened his eyes and he found his hand on Nino’s cheek, Nino’s hand keeping it there firmly.
“You’re worried,” Nino pointed out. He brushed his thumb on the back of Jun’s hand that he kept on his cheek.
Jun could only look away. He’s not good at this. He had never been. They had never been good in talks about feelings and worries and whatnot.
“Hey, let’s talk, okay? You’re missing your sleep and it makes me worried,” Nino’s voice sounded soft and genuinely worried, it made Jun’s wall of emotion crumble.
It was their cue, Jun’s brain noticed vaguely. It was the sign that they’re having the rare let’s-say-it-all-and-move-on talk. It was the sign that they’re about to do what they’re so bad at; saying things out loud without jokes and the like as buffer.
Jun inhaled and exhaled deeply. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and when he opened it again, he caressed Nino’s cheek to calm himself down, “Yeah, I’m- I’m worried.”
“About?” Nino asked and Jun got a bit irritated because- wasn’t it obvious?
But Jun knew Nino only wanted him to spell it out so he could feel better, so he did exactly that, “I’m worried about you. About your back. About the future and how we’ll get through it.”
Nino smiled but he didn’t say anything. He was still waiting because he knew Jun still had more than that.
“I have a dream and I’ve been holding on to it since forever,” Jun said in tiny voice, “And to think that at some point you might have to stop being in that dream--”
Jun couldn’t continue further and Nino was fine with that because he understood. He understood how Jun was getting afraid because that dream was the future that he believed on and now there’s a possibility that it might not be as sure as he believed it was. He understood how affected Jun was with Nino’s condition because Nino had a big role in that dream.
“You have the dream, Jun,” Nino said slowly. He hesitated for a micro second but he crushed the hesitation in a blink of an eye. Jun had done his part of voicing his thoughts out, it would be unfair if he just stopped there like that, “And I have you. We’ve made it until now. I have made it until now. We just have to keep on going like this and we will eventually reach that dream. Together.”
Jun opened his mouth and closed it again. He savored the little heart-quake that occurred inside of him because it was unusual for either of them to talk all blunt about feelings like that. He exhaled a deep breath before he said, “I don’t know.. I start to think that.. maybe we should stop singing and dancing once we’re in our 40s.”
Nino kept silent for a moment. Then he chuckled because he deemed it necessary to take a brief break, “Yeah, maybe we should.”
And Jun was visibly deflated. Oh, how Nino wanted to just pinch Jun’s cheeks because he’s somehow too cute, all worried and disappointed like that.
“But I can assure you that it wouldn’t be because of me,” Nino tugged Jun’s wrist gently to gain Jun’s attention again. He smirked when he continued, “Probably because of the old men Ohno and Sakurai, but not because of Ninomiya because Ninomiya would still be young and hot.”
Jun laughed and he pushed Nino slightly. Somehow, the brief intermezzo lifted up the tension nicely - just enough for them to be able to continue.
Nino kept holding on Jun’s hand until their laughter decreased. Then, he took a deep breath and stared right into Jun’s eyes, starting the talk again, “Don’t alter your dream because of me. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if that happened.”
“But I don’t want you to push yourself too much because of me,” Jun’s fingers danced on Nino’s skin, “Without you the dream would be nothing, anyway.”
“I would never push myself too much,” Nino promised, “If I could do more than I’m capable to, it’s because of you. It’s always been. So, don’t waste your breath worrying about me, just be there with me and everything will be alright. Just like it’s always been.”
Jun wanted to argue on that but Nino leaned in to silent him with a peck on his lips.
It’s a wrap. And Nino didn’t want to negotiate about it.
“We just did enough heart-to-heart talks for a year, don’t you think?” Nino’s tone was back to his usual sharp and witty tone.
Jun chuckled. All the words that was voiced out that night made him feel all weird and he agreed, “Yeah.”
Nino wormed his hand to Jun’s back and pulled the younger to his chest, “Then, just one more wouldn’t hurt, would it?”
Jun quirked up his brow, he didn’t quite get it.
“I love you,” Nino said and Jun felt all warm and fine and gooey and overwhelmed that he suspected that his bones turned into jelly and his insides turned into butterfly garden.
Yeah, they did enough heart-to-heart talks for a year.
I don't know what this is. I'm just- The fact that Nino's back is- I- *sighs because I can't talk about it coherently*