Unnecessary Secret [21/?]
"... Everything was already said and done, there’s no returning back ..."
“We will depart on Saturday. Please take care of Jun until then, I have something to do. I’ll meet you on the airport.”
Aiba stared at his phone screen long enough to digest all the information. Somehow, the short message emitted unfathomable pain and sadness. Aiba didn’t know what exactly Satoshi meant by something, but he had a rough idea of what’s all that about.
Nino kun.
Aiba pitied Satoshi. He could only imagine how crushed Satoshi’s heart must be that time for he had to end his relationship even though there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the relationship itself. For the slightest time, he was afraid that Satoshi might do something stupid that Aiba didn’t want to imagine at all, but he knew Satoshi better.
Sato nii san will never leave Jun in this state. Never.
Then, his brain moved fast enough to another fact.
Jun... How will he live with the fact that he made his Nii chan left Nino kun?
Aiba didn’t have the chance to think about it any further, his car entered his driveway and he spotted Jun waiting for him on the front porch. Aiba jumped out of his car even before it’s fully stopped and approached the pale boy.
“God, Jun! What are you doing here?! It’s freezing cold, you fool!” Aiba wrapped his coat around Jun’s body and dragged him inside.
“Both of you left me without explanation at all, Masaki!” Jun yelled. He was forced to sit in the sofa by Aiba, near the fireplace. He didn’t really care about the cold until the warmth of the fire told him how numb he was.
Aiba glanced to a maid who looked afraid, clearly she asked Jun to stay inside but Jun resisted thus making her unable to execute her young master’s command. She was holding a mug with steaming liquid inside of it. Aiba gave her another command, “Give it to me and leave us alone.”
The maid gave the hot tea to Aiba and quickly disappeared from their sight, left them with nothing but each other.
Aiba squatted in front of Jun to level himself with Jun’s face, “I told you to leave it all on us, didn’t I?”
“But you left without explanation! For God’s sake, Masaki, this is my problem, isn’t it?! I have the right to know what’s going on!” Jun exploded. He waited in vain. He was really afraid that Satoshi or Aiba might do something funny like going to Sakurai’s residence or something. He couldn’t rest. If it’s not for the persistent and obedient maids, he would already on the road - searching for his brother and best friend.
“You want to move away from here, we arrange that for you. We won’t do anything that is against your will, Jun chan. You know that,” Aiba put the warm mug on Jun’s hand and wrapped his hands on Jun’s, “To France, this Saturday. Is that okay?”
Jun stared to Aiba’s eyes, to all of its seriousness and gentleness. He suddenly felt like a fool to put a doubt on the very man who never betrayed him for as long as he live. He looked down to the warm liquid and nodded, “It’s perfect. Thank you.”
Aiba touched Jun by his chin to make him look up again. He hesitated but then asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to talk with that man first? About all this? Maybe he has some explanation or something.”
Jun couldn’t answer right away. Some part of him was writhing to go to Sho and ask for the truth, really hoping that it was all just one cruel prank Akiko threw for him. If there was no baby, Jun would fly to Korea and punch the man on his face by himself then interrogated him for hours to gain any explanation he could get. But, the baby was there, thriving to survive and waiting to be born in an upcoming beautiful life. And Jun couldn’t picture any beautiful life of the baby with Sho in it.
It’s either being taken away from me, or growing up in a family that has nothing but fake relationship in it. Because Kiko chan was right; there’s no way they would let any baby with Sakurai’s blood in their vein slip away from their hands.
He looked at his own stomach, as if he could see the baby in it. One of his hand caressed it softly, fully aware that the baby was the only piece of Sho he could ever have and treasure, the only proof that their relationship was really existed. Once.
The pain was so great but Jun held himself from crying again. He knew he had to be strong for the sake of his baby, “I’m sure. I won’t risk losing my baby just for an explanation that I’m not sure I want to hear or not,” Jun took a sip of tea to calm himself down and to avert his gaze from Aiba’s painfully concerned stare, “He’s the last male on that family, Ma chan. You know how it goes.”
Aiba nodded because he did know how it goes. He was also the last male on his family, and he knew how desperate his parents were when it comes to descendant.
He stood up and ruffled Jun’s wavy hair. He dropped himself beside Jun who was finishing the tea.
“Where’s Sato nii chan?” Jun asked.
Aiba’s brain snapped back to what’s been bothering him the moment he arrived at his house. He was not sure about what to answer.
“Ah!” Jun yelped. One of his hand held his head.
“What happened?” Aiba panicked. He took the mug away from Jun and put it carelessly to nearby table. “Headache?”
Jun nodded. His eyes were closed.
“Come on, you have to rest now,” Aiba helped Jun to get on his feet and made the boy who was in pain leaned fully to him. One of his hand wrapped to Jun’s body to support him better and they walked slowly towards Aiba’s bedroom.
Once they were inside the room, Aiba took his coat off of Jun’s body and put him on bed. He put the blanket on and secured it carefully.
“Listen, Jun chan, everything is alright, everything is fine. We’re going to move to France in two days, leaving that man and every bad memories he ever gave to us. No one will take your baby away from you. The baby will be born to the world and you will be a wonderful father, I believe. We will start our new life. Our new, beautiful, stress-free life. So, don’t you dare shed another tear for that man ever again, okay? Don’t even think about him. Think about your baby, you’re happy that you’re having a baby, right?” Aiba said all of it in one breath.
Jun managed to listen Aiba’s sentences despite the ringing headache. He gave Aiba a tiny smile and a nod, even though he knew it would be a promise he couldn’t fulfill. Sho will always come back to his mind and tears will still be shed. At least, he’s not lying that he was happy that he’s having a baby.
Aiba patted Jun’s cheek softly and stood up, “Well then, have a good sleep, Jun chan. I’ll be sleeping on guest room if you need anything.”
Jun caught Aiba’s arm, “Can’t you just sleep here? Like we always did?”
Aiba turned his head, confused. He stopped sharing bed with Jun ever since the younger officially in a relationship.
“I don’t want to be alone,” Jun’s voice was no louder than a whisper.
Aiba gave Jun a smile then released himself from Jun’s grab, “I’ll join you right after showering, don’t worry.”
Oh, I’ll never leave you alone, dear. Never.
Deep inside, Aiba was glad he could avoid to answer Jun’s question about Satoshi.
*******
Aiba woke up to Jun’s sob and mumbles that night. At first he thought Jun was unable to sleep and decided to mourn over Sho again, but then he realized that Jun was still sleeping.
“... chan..,” Jun mumbled again. Tears were there in his pained face.
Aiba observed the younger closely, making sure that he was really still asleep.
“Sho.. chan..”
There’s sudden pain in Aiba’s heart.
Even in his dream.....
Aiba stroke his long finger to Jun’s face to wipe the tear. Jun’s body was shaking from the sobbing. The scenery was very similar to the one from five years ago, when Jun had nightmare in the vacation house. When Jun just lost his parents. When Aiba decided to let Sho took Jun in his arms.
What the hell was I thinking back then? I shouldn’t have let him! I shouldn’t have trust him that much.
Guilt and regret bubbled in Aiba. He cursed himself.
“Sho chan..,” Jun’s mumble started to become louder.
Aiba leaned forward and hugged Jun tight. He caressed Jun’s back softly, “Hush, hush, Jun chan. It’s alright, it’s alright.”
In his heart, Aiba promised to himself that he will never let any man to take his Jun from him again.
*******
Aiba had to call his doctor again the next morning. Jun had a high fever and was unconscious. The doctor shook his head in disapproval, “It’s already risky enough for him to keep the baby, why would he stayed outside in snowing weather like that?”
But the doctor knew it was none of his business. He continued, “He needs a bed rest if he wants to endure tomorrow’s flight. Really. Don’t let him step out from the bed.”
Aiba nodded.
“I will give some medicine. Some of it will cause him to be sleepy, and I think it’s good to help him rest.”
Aiba nodded again.
“Do a thorough check up on hospital once you arrived on France, please. His condition is serious.”
“Yes, I will take him to the hospital. Thank you, Sensei. And thank you for keeping this as a secret,” Aiba bowed.
The doctor patted Aiba’s shoulder and left him.
Aiba approached Jun who looked so pale like a paper and so fragile like a thin layer of ice. He fixed Jun’s blanket and some stray hair on Jun’s face. He gazed lovingly and attentively, determined to protect the younger with all of his might.
Jun slowly opened his eyes. He was going to sit up but Aiba prevented him.
“You have a fever. If you still want to depart tomorrow, you have to stay in bed.”
Jun gave up and slumped back. He knew about the fever, his body was burning.
“I’m sorry for all the trouble, Ma chan. But tomorrow I’ll be leaving, you won’t be bothered by me anymore.”
Aiba gulped down. It seemed that Jun didn’t know that he was going as well.
“And Sato nii chan, where is he?” Jun asked.
Aiba knew he couldn’t run away anymore from the question, but hiding some truth was still feasible, “He’s already back to his apartment.”
Jun’s eyes reflected some degree of sorrow, “I see. I bet he’s totally mad at me, eh? I feel bad that I won’t be able to come to his first exhibition ever, but Nino kun will be there so I think it’s alright.”
Aiba shot his gaze to anywhere except Jun. He was awfully uncomfortable with the topic.
“Oh God, it must be hard for Sato nii chan. The whole thing might affect his relationship with Nino kun,” Jun suddenly realized that. It was as if his brain suddenly connected to the world outside himself, the baby, and Sho. He started to panic, “He.. he can say that I am suddenly missing or something. Or dead. Or married to someone else. Or taken away by my parents’ family. Or anything. It would do, right? Right?”
Every words of Jun filled with desperation and guilt. Aiba couldn’t take it. He couldn’t break the news. So he just said, “Calm down, Jun chan. Sato nii san already have it sorted out. He planned and arranged everything.”
“You have to keep me updated about them, okay? You have to promise me!” Jun grabbed Aiba’s arm firmly.
Aiba could only smile and stroke Jun’s hair. He took a glance on the clock. Fortunately, it’s already time for him to leave, “Don’t worry, Jun chan. For now, think only of your health. You have to eat and drink the medicine, my maid will prepare it for you. And then, you have to sleep. Don’t you dare to leave this bed, okay? I have to go to your house to take your belongings and other documents.”
Jun nodded, knew that he was in no position to negotiate. He owed Aiba too much to be not obedient.
Aiba smiled and headed outside.
He gathered all his maids and butlers in the living room. He never did that, so everyone was uneasy. Aiba cleared his throat and started the announcement, “Maybe some of you already know about this; I’m leaving for France tomorrow, together with Sato nii san and Jun. If someday there’s someone come to search for me, especially if it’s Sakurai Sho or Ninomiya Kazunari, tell them that you don’t know where I am,” Aiba produced an envelope from his pocket, “Give this only if Sakurai Sho searched for me and Jun. Then, shut the door close and don’t let them in. Ever.”
Silence.
“Do you understand?”
“Yes, young master,” all of them answered in sync.
Aiba smiled, “Thank you. Now I want to go to Ohno’s residence for a while, please keep an eye on Jun, okay? Don’t let him come down from bed. Give him nice meal and make sure he takes his medicine.”
Just like what he said, Aiba departed to Ohno’s residence and found that not only Satoshi’s and Jun’s belongings were already prepared neatly, most of the maids and the butlers were already prepared to leave as well. The residence will be left empty.
Aiba met one of Ohno’s assistant and retrieved three flight tickets along with the needed documents. With a worried and tired face, the assistant gave some words, “I don’t know what’s happening, but please take care of my two young masters, Aiba san.”
“Of course, don’t worry,” Aiba smiled. He then gave the old man the same thing he said to his maids and butlers; to keep shut about their whereabouts.
The old man just nodded then bowed deeply.
Aiba replied the bow and got back to his car, then straight to his home. There, he found Jun already asleep peacefully - most probably because of the medicine’s effect. For the first time since all of the turning events occurred, he let himself mulled over everything. He’s about to leave his family with a promise to live the life he detest since forever; the one with cooking academy and everything. He’s about to assist Jun to rearrange his currently messed up life, which including raising Jun’s child from other man. He didn’t know if it’s the best idea ever, but he knew once he stepped into the plane tomorrow there will be no turning back. There will be no place for regret.
Aiba studied the sleeping man on his bed. He just stared for a good long time.
Regret? There won’t be any regret. I’m doing this for the one I love, how could there be any regret?
Aiba stood up and took his phone. With determined voice, he called Akiko and told her every single thing. As the closure, he bid her his goodbye. A real goodbye this time, with a sincere apology and all, expecting to never contact each other again in a much extended period of time. If not forever.
*******
Jun froze when he saw his brother was already waiting for them in the airport lounge. He witnessed Aiba handed the oldest a bundle of passport, plane ticket, and other papers while the taller had other two exact same bundles remained in his hand.
Jun was in daze, “What’s going on? Why are you here, Nii san? Why are there three plane tickets?”
Satoshi just glared weakly to Jun and turned away, headed to the counter to process his documents and ticket. He looked tired, he looked gloomy, and in the top of all he looked like he had no soul remained in his body. He was empty.
Aiba held Jun firmly when the younger moved to follow Satoshi, “You’d better leave him alone for the time being, Jun chan. Don’t burden him.”
Jun snapped his arm off of Aiba, “What the hell is this, Masaki?! You told me he already back at his apartment! And what’s with this passport of yours?!”
“He did go back to his apartment. And me?” Aiba hardened his whole composure, “This is my decision, my life. You have no right to prevent me from moving to France as well.”
“Your life is intruding my life, Masaki!” Jun blurted. His belief that he will depart alone and leaving his loved ones in Japan without any further troubles crumbled to his feet. The remains of his whole world crumbled to his feet. He didn’t care about other people who started to stare at them. He only cared that he dragged his loved ones into misery without even realizing it.
Jun’s words felt like a venom for Aiba. It hurt him badly, burnt him entirely right away. He gave this man his whole life if he could, but then the man said that he’s intruding the man’s life. Intruding. Just like a robber or any other unwanted person.
He looked down at his feet, body trembled from all the pain he had just from that one sentence.
“You are my life, you idiot!” Aiba grumbled, though it came out harsh and not clear.
Jun couldn’t hear it, “What?”
Aiba didn’t answer. He just kept looking at his shoes.
Jun shook his head and turned to search for his brother. But, his brother was already there, right behind him.
Satoshi’s head was still full of his lover, the one and only Ninomiya Kazunari in his life. Memories of the last five years they spent together swam freely in his head, flashes clearly like thousands of neon signs. It’s just rubbing a salt on top of the wound now that he saw his brother that he abandoned his whole love life for making it hard for them to move on.
Really, for a split second Satoshi considered to slap Jun hard right on his face. But his love to his brother beat all the sourness he had in his heart, he hugged the pregnant boy instead.
“Please, Jun chan, don’t make it harder for us. If you care about me, if you care about Masaki, please just follow us and don’t question anything.”
Jun’s body became stiff under the sudden ambush. He felt warm tears in his shoulder and the same one started to flow on his cheek, “Just get back to your life. Get back to your Nino, get back to your parents. I will depart alone. Please, Sato nii chan, don’t let me drag you into misery.”
Satoshi gave Jun a smile. A smile that was so dark and decorated with pain, so cold it’s colder than the snow outside, “You heard what Masaki said, this is my decision, my life. Everything was already said and done, there’s no returning back. So, I’ll move to France now, with or without you.”
With that, Satoshi just walked away through the threshold and disappeared from their sight.
Jun slumped down to the floor. It’s the first time for him to look his brother on that awful state, and he knew that it was all because of him. He cried without even preventing it.
Aiba approached Jun, bent down, and held out his hand.
Jun looked up.
Aiba smiled, “Let’s go, shall we?”
Jun reached Aiba’s hand gratefully and stood up, “I’m sorry for all of this, Ma chan. I’m sorry.”
In the 13 hours long flight, they didn’t even speak a word. Satoshi took several sleeping pills and Jun just stared out of the window, sobbing once in a while.
*******
Charles de Gaulle airport was fully packed with people. It was high season, after all. Christmas was just two days away and New Year’s followed tightly after. It was only around 4 PM by the time they arrived, the sky was beautiful and all the Christmas decoration was wonderful. It would be a perfect journey if they were not in such a gloomy situation.
Satoshi scanned the whole airport to find any people that might be his family’s assistant and he found a familiar figure, a Japanese man with stylish suit and calm ambiance. He dashed to the man and both Aiba and Jun followed him silently from behind.
“Ah, welcome to France, young master,” the man bowed.
Satoshi bowed too and about to budge about the ‘young master’ part, but he was totally not in the mood for that, “Nice to meet you again.”
Aiba looked up and his eyes widened, “Okada senpai!”
He recognized the man as Satoshi’s senior by 3 years; his senpai’s senpai. Okada’s father was Ohno family’s trusted assistant - the one who handled all of Ohno family’s personal matters and also actively advised the Ohnos in making business decision. And it seemed that Okada chose the same occupation as his father.
Actually, Aiba was kind of relieved that it was Okada that was going to assist him. He trusted the older man, he always did. He always looked up to Okada when he was just a little kid, until Okada had to move away for his study.
Okada just bowed and took over all of the belongings. He escorted the three of them to the car and took the wheel.
“If it’s not a trouble for you, may I be your driver as well? It’s not that easy to find a driver who understands Japanese here,” Okada broke the silence at some point in their journey to the apartment.
“It’s okay,” Satoshi answered, “In fact, is it possible to not having any other staff in the apartment as well? We can do our chores well, don’t worry. I lived alone in the last three years, after all.”
Jun winced to Satoshi’s intentional stress on the word alone.
Okada took a confused glance towards his young master who was sitting on the front passenger seat instead of the back one, but he nodded anyway, “Alright. No maid, no driver, then?”
Satoshi nodded. The fewer who knows about Jun’s pregnancy, the easier it would be. He was still mulling over the man beside him, though. But he knew Okada well, so he decided that he could be trusted with anything that about to happen on that apartment.
“We... have a complicated matters here, I have to ask you to keep anything as a secret from anyone from now on. Including my parents.”
Okada raised one of his brow, “Understood, young master.”
“And stop with that ‘young master’ already. It’s getting on my nerve. Just ‘Ohno’ would be fine. Or ‘Satoshi’ if you don’t want to feel like calling my old man each time,” Satoshi finally couldn’t stand the honorific.
Okada smiled, “Understood, Satoshi.”
In about half an hour, they arrived to the apartment. Okada opened the unit and let them in. The first scenery got Ohno dumbfounded.
His painting was already there. Wrapped in paper but he knew it was his painting. The painting of himself and Nino. A memento of their ended relationship.
“Ah, it arrived earlier than you guys. Maybe because it was on priority shipment so it arrived so fast,” Okada said cheerfully, didn’t know that the painting just drew a big wound in Satoshi’s heart.
Satoshi inched in slowly. He tore the wrapping and unravel the beauty inside of it. The pain, the sadness, the harsh reality slaughtered him all over again. His tears streamed and his fingers traced Nino’s silhouette gently.
“Come back to him, Sato nii chan. Come back to your happiness,” Jun talked between his own tears. It was unbearably arduous to see his brother in agony like that.
Satoshi ignored Jun completely. It’s really hard for him to swallow. His love, his life, his one and only Nino was not him anymore. Satoshi left him. At his own will.
Suddenly the burden felt so heavy for him to bear. Satoshi dashed to the nearest bedroom and locked it. He wailed and cried and howled his heart out.
Jun’s cry became louder and uncontrollable too. It’s the worst nightmare for him; guilt, sorrow, sadness, pain, and anger crumpled into one in him. He ran to another room and stayed there with his shattered heart.
Okada couldn’t do anything but gape at the whole scene. He didn’t know what happened, but he knew for sure it was big and it was terrible.
Aiba just patted Okada’s shoulder lightly and headed towards Jun’s room just to find out that it was locked from inside too. He knocked softly but Jun just yelled for him to stay away so he did.
He took all the time he had to explain to Okada.
Okada digested all of the information slowly, and he remained in a shocked state until Aiba finished his explanation. They sat next to each other in silence after that, trying to dodge away the pain from hearing the desperate growl and cry.
Until suddenly, Jun’s upset sound couldn’t be heard anymore.
Okada alerted, he came to Jun’s room and knocked. Aiba joined him but nothing came as an answer. Satoshi heard all of the commotion and came out from his room, messed up and panicked.
After ten full minutes of knockings and desperate apologies, the three guys cooperated together to force the door to open. There was horror.
Aiba screamed as for the third time in that week, he found Jun’s body lay helplessly on the floor. Unmoving.
I just realized something...... I progressed so slowly, I think it's going to be a one looooong fic ;__;
Maybe up to 30(ish) chap. (Just like Arashi, 30ish. hihihihi :3) Maybe I should have put a warning or something. ;__;
AH! I just decided to be a mean mean girl like Akiko -> I won't reveal the real reason behind Sho's departure to Korea until the very end. Don't hate me please hahahaha :">
And........ as always! Thanks for lilisan31 and sweetrose501 for betaing and for the prompt.
And thanks to YOU for reading <3 <3 <3 Comments are loved!
Chapter 20
Chapter 22
“We will depart on Saturday. Please take care of Jun until then, I have something to do. I’ll meet you on the airport.”
Aiba stared at his phone screen long enough to digest all the information. Somehow, the short message emitted unfathomable pain and sadness. Aiba didn’t know what exactly Satoshi meant by something, but he had a rough idea of what’s all that about.
Nino kun.
Aiba pitied Satoshi. He could only imagine how crushed Satoshi’s heart must be that time for he had to end his relationship even though there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the relationship itself. For the slightest time, he was afraid that Satoshi might do something stupid that Aiba didn’t want to imagine at all, but he knew Satoshi better.
Sato nii san will never leave Jun in this state. Never.
Then, his brain moved fast enough to another fact.
Jun... How will he live with the fact that he made his Nii chan left Nino kun?
Aiba didn’t have the chance to think about it any further, his car entered his driveway and he spotted Jun waiting for him on the front porch. Aiba jumped out of his car even before it’s fully stopped and approached the pale boy.
“God, Jun! What are you doing here?! It’s freezing cold, you fool!” Aiba wrapped his coat around Jun’s body and dragged him inside.
“Both of you left me without explanation at all, Masaki!” Jun yelled. He was forced to sit in the sofa by Aiba, near the fireplace. He didn’t really care about the cold until the warmth of the fire told him how numb he was.
Aiba glanced to a maid who looked afraid, clearly she asked Jun to stay inside but Jun resisted thus making her unable to execute her young master’s command. She was holding a mug with steaming liquid inside of it. Aiba gave her another command, “Give it to me and leave us alone.”
The maid gave the hot tea to Aiba and quickly disappeared from their sight, left them with nothing but each other.
Aiba squatted in front of Jun to level himself with Jun’s face, “I told you to leave it all on us, didn’t I?”
“But you left without explanation! For God’s sake, Masaki, this is my problem, isn’t it?! I have the right to know what’s going on!” Jun exploded. He waited in vain. He was really afraid that Satoshi or Aiba might do something funny like going to Sakurai’s residence or something. He couldn’t rest. If it’s not for the persistent and obedient maids, he would already on the road - searching for his brother and best friend.
“You want to move away from here, we arrange that for you. We won’t do anything that is against your will, Jun chan. You know that,” Aiba put the warm mug on Jun’s hand and wrapped his hands on Jun’s, “To France, this Saturday. Is that okay?”
Jun stared to Aiba’s eyes, to all of its seriousness and gentleness. He suddenly felt like a fool to put a doubt on the very man who never betrayed him for as long as he live. He looked down to the warm liquid and nodded, “It’s perfect. Thank you.”
Aiba touched Jun by his chin to make him look up again. He hesitated but then asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to talk with that man first? About all this? Maybe he has some explanation or something.”
Jun couldn’t answer right away. Some part of him was writhing to go to Sho and ask for the truth, really hoping that it was all just one cruel prank Akiko threw for him. If there was no baby, Jun would fly to Korea and punch the man on his face by himself then interrogated him for hours to gain any explanation he could get. But, the baby was there, thriving to survive and waiting to be born in an upcoming beautiful life. And Jun couldn’t picture any beautiful life of the baby with Sho in it.
It’s either being taken away from me, or growing up in a family that has nothing but fake relationship in it. Because Kiko chan was right; there’s no way they would let any baby with Sakurai’s blood in their vein slip away from their hands.
He looked at his own stomach, as if he could see the baby in it. One of his hand caressed it softly, fully aware that the baby was the only piece of Sho he could ever have and treasure, the only proof that their relationship was really existed. Once.
The pain was so great but Jun held himself from crying again. He knew he had to be strong for the sake of his baby, “I’m sure. I won’t risk losing my baby just for an explanation that I’m not sure I want to hear or not,” Jun took a sip of tea to calm himself down and to avert his gaze from Aiba’s painfully concerned stare, “He’s the last male on that family, Ma chan. You know how it goes.”
Aiba nodded because he did know how it goes. He was also the last male on his family, and he knew how desperate his parents were when it comes to descendant.
He stood up and ruffled Jun’s wavy hair. He dropped himself beside Jun who was finishing the tea.
“Where’s Sato nii chan?” Jun asked.
Aiba’s brain snapped back to what’s been bothering him the moment he arrived at his house. He was not sure about what to answer.
“Ah!” Jun yelped. One of his hand held his head.
“What happened?” Aiba panicked. He took the mug away from Jun and put it carelessly to nearby table. “Headache?”
Jun nodded. His eyes were closed.
“Come on, you have to rest now,” Aiba helped Jun to get on his feet and made the boy who was in pain leaned fully to him. One of his hand wrapped to Jun’s body to support him better and they walked slowly towards Aiba’s bedroom.
Once they were inside the room, Aiba took his coat off of Jun’s body and put him on bed. He put the blanket on and secured it carefully.
“Listen, Jun chan, everything is alright, everything is fine. We’re going to move to France in two days, leaving that man and every bad memories he ever gave to us. No one will take your baby away from you. The baby will be born to the world and you will be a wonderful father, I believe. We will start our new life. Our new, beautiful, stress-free life. So, don’t you dare shed another tear for that man ever again, okay? Don’t even think about him. Think about your baby, you’re happy that you’re having a baby, right?” Aiba said all of it in one breath.
Jun managed to listen Aiba’s sentences despite the ringing headache. He gave Aiba a tiny smile and a nod, even though he knew it would be a promise he couldn’t fulfill. Sho will always come back to his mind and tears will still be shed. At least, he’s not lying that he was happy that he’s having a baby.
Aiba patted Jun’s cheek softly and stood up, “Well then, have a good sleep, Jun chan. I’ll be sleeping on guest room if you need anything.”
Jun caught Aiba’s arm, “Can’t you just sleep here? Like we always did?”
Aiba turned his head, confused. He stopped sharing bed with Jun ever since the younger officially in a relationship.
“I don’t want to be alone,” Jun’s voice was no louder than a whisper.
Aiba gave Jun a smile then released himself from Jun’s grab, “I’ll join you right after showering, don’t worry.”
Oh, I’ll never leave you alone, dear. Never.
Deep inside, Aiba was glad he could avoid to answer Jun’s question about Satoshi.
*******
Aiba woke up to Jun’s sob and mumbles that night. At first he thought Jun was unable to sleep and decided to mourn over Sho again, but then he realized that Jun was still sleeping.
“... chan..,” Jun mumbled again. Tears were there in his pained face.
Aiba observed the younger closely, making sure that he was really still asleep.
“Sho.. chan..”
There’s sudden pain in Aiba’s heart.
Even in his dream.....
Aiba stroke his long finger to Jun’s face to wipe the tear. Jun’s body was shaking from the sobbing. The scenery was very similar to the one from five years ago, when Jun had nightmare in the vacation house. When Jun just lost his parents. When Aiba decided to let Sho took Jun in his arms.
What the hell was I thinking back then? I shouldn’t have let him! I shouldn’t have trust him that much.
Guilt and regret bubbled in Aiba. He cursed himself.
“Sho chan..,” Jun’s mumble started to become louder.
Aiba leaned forward and hugged Jun tight. He caressed Jun’s back softly, “Hush, hush, Jun chan. It’s alright, it’s alright.”
In his heart, Aiba promised to himself that he will never let any man to take his Jun from him again.
*******
Aiba had to call his doctor again the next morning. Jun had a high fever and was unconscious. The doctor shook his head in disapproval, “It’s already risky enough for him to keep the baby, why would he stayed outside in snowing weather like that?”
But the doctor knew it was none of his business. He continued, “He needs a bed rest if he wants to endure tomorrow’s flight. Really. Don’t let him step out from the bed.”
Aiba nodded.
“I will give some medicine. Some of it will cause him to be sleepy, and I think it’s good to help him rest.”
Aiba nodded again.
“Do a thorough check up on hospital once you arrived on France, please. His condition is serious.”
“Yes, I will take him to the hospital. Thank you, Sensei. And thank you for keeping this as a secret,” Aiba bowed.
The doctor patted Aiba’s shoulder and left him.
Aiba approached Jun who looked so pale like a paper and so fragile like a thin layer of ice. He fixed Jun’s blanket and some stray hair on Jun’s face. He gazed lovingly and attentively, determined to protect the younger with all of his might.
Jun slowly opened his eyes. He was going to sit up but Aiba prevented him.
“You have a fever. If you still want to depart tomorrow, you have to stay in bed.”
Jun gave up and slumped back. He knew about the fever, his body was burning.
“I’m sorry for all the trouble, Ma chan. But tomorrow I’ll be leaving, you won’t be bothered by me anymore.”
Aiba gulped down. It seemed that Jun didn’t know that he was going as well.
“And Sato nii chan, where is he?” Jun asked.
Aiba knew he couldn’t run away anymore from the question, but hiding some truth was still feasible, “He’s already back to his apartment.”
Jun’s eyes reflected some degree of sorrow, “I see. I bet he’s totally mad at me, eh? I feel bad that I won’t be able to come to his first exhibition ever, but Nino kun will be there so I think it’s alright.”
Aiba shot his gaze to anywhere except Jun. He was awfully uncomfortable with the topic.
“Oh God, it must be hard for Sato nii chan. The whole thing might affect his relationship with Nino kun,” Jun suddenly realized that. It was as if his brain suddenly connected to the world outside himself, the baby, and Sho. He started to panic, “He.. he can say that I am suddenly missing or something. Or dead. Or married to someone else. Or taken away by my parents’ family. Or anything. It would do, right? Right?”
Every words of Jun filled with desperation and guilt. Aiba couldn’t take it. He couldn’t break the news. So he just said, “Calm down, Jun chan. Sato nii san already have it sorted out. He planned and arranged everything.”
“You have to keep me updated about them, okay? You have to promise me!” Jun grabbed Aiba’s arm firmly.
Aiba could only smile and stroke Jun’s hair. He took a glance on the clock. Fortunately, it’s already time for him to leave, “Don’t worry, Jun chan. For now, think only of your health. You have to eat and drink the medicine, my maid will prepare it for you. And then, you have to sleep. Don’t you dare to leave this bed, okay? I have to go to your house to take your belongings and other documents.”
Jun nodded, knew that he was in no position to negotiate. He owed Aiba too much to be not obedient.
Aiba smiled and headed outside.
He gathered all his maids and butlers in the living room. He never did that, so everyone was uneasy. Aiba cleared his throat and started the announcement, “Maybe some of you already know about this; I’m leaving for France tomorrow, together with Sato nii san and Jun. If someday there’s someone come to search for me, especially if it’s Sakurai Sho or Ninomiya Kazunari, tell them that you don’t know where I am,” Aiba produced an envelope from his pocket, “Give this only if Sakurai Sho searched for me and Jun. Then, shut the door close and don’t let them in. Ever.”
Silence.
“Do you understand?”
“Yes, young master,” all of them answered in sync.
Aiba smiled, “Thank you. Now I want to go to Ohno’s residence for a while, please keep an eye on Jun, okay? Don’t let him come down from bed. Give him nice meal and make sure he takes his medicine.”
Just like what he said, Aiba departed to Ohno’s residence and found that not only Satoshi’s and Jun’s belongings were already prepared neatly, most of the maids and the butlers were already prepared to leave as well. The residence will be left empty.
Aiba met one of Ohno’s assistant and retrieved three flight tickets along with the needed documents. With a worried and tired face, the assistant gave some words, “I don’t know what’s happening, but please take care of my two young masters, Aiba san.”
“Of course, don’t worry,” Aiba smiled. He then gave the old man the same thing he said to his maids and butlers; to keep shut about their whereabouts.
The old man just nodded then bowed deeply.
Aiba replied the bow and got back to his car, then straight to his home. There, he found Jun already asleep peacefully - most probably because of the medicine’s effect. For the first time since all of the turning events occurred, he let himself mulled over everything. He’s about to leave his family with a promise to live the life he detest since forever; the one with cooking academy and everything. He’s about to assist Jun to rearrange his currently messed up life, which including raising Jun’s child from other man. He didn’t know if it’s the best idea ever, but he knew once he stepped into the plane tomorrow there will be no turning back. There will be no place for regret.
Aiba studied the sleeping man on his bed. He just stared for a good long time.
Regret? There won’t be any regret. I’m doing this for the one I love, how could there be any regret?
Aiba stood up and took his phone. With determined voice, he called Akiko and told her every single thing. As the closure, he bid her his goodbye. A real goodbye this time, with a sincere apology and all, expecting to never contact each other again in a much extended period of time. If not forever.
*******
Jun froze when he saw his brother was already waiting for them in the airport lounge. He witnessed Aiba handed the oldest a bundle of passport, plane ticket, and other papers while the taller had other two exact same bundles remained in his hand.
Jun was in daze, “What’s going on? Why are you here, Nii san? Why are there three plane tickets?”
Satoshi just glared weakly to Jun and turned away, headed to the counter to process his documents and ticket. He looked tired, he looked gloomy, and in the top of all he looked like he had no soul remained in his body. He was empty.
Aiba held Jun firmly when the younger moved to follow Satoshi, “You’d better leave him alone for the time being, Jun chan. Don’t burden him.”
Jun snapped his arm off of Aiba, “What the hell is this, Masaki?! You told me he already back at his apartment! And what’s with this passport of yours?!”
“He did go back to his apartment. And me?” Aiba hardened his whole composure, “This is my decision, my life. You have no right to prevent me from moving to France as well.”
“Your life is intruding my life, Masaki!” Jun blurted. His belief that he will depart alone and leaving his loved ones in Japan without any further troubles crumbled to his feet. The remains of his whole world crumbled to his feet. He didn’t care about other people who started to stare at them. He only cared that he dragged his loved ones into misery without even realizing it.
Jun’s words felt like a venom for Aiba. It hurt him badly, burnt him entirely right away. He gave this man his whole life if he could, but then the man said that he’s intruding the man’s life. Intruding. Just like a robber or any other unwanted person.
He looked down at his feet, body trembled from all the pain he had just from that one sentence.
“You are my life, you idiot!” Aiba grumbled, though it came out harsh and not clear.
Jun couldn’t hear it, “What?”
Aiba didn’t answer. He just kept looking at his shoes.
Jun shook his head and turned to search for his brother. But, his brother was already there, right behind him.
Satoshi’s head was still full of his lover, the one and only Ninomiya Kazunari in his life. Memories of the last five years they spent together swam freely in his head, flashes clearly like thousands of neon signs. It’s just rubbing a salt on top of the wound now that he saw his brother that he abandoned his whole love life for making it hard for them to move on.
Really, for a split second Satoshi considered to slap Jun hard right on his face. But his love to his brother beat all the sourness he had in his heart, he hugged the pregnant boy instead.
“Please, Jun chan, don’t make it harder for us. If you care about me, if you care about Masaki, please just follow us and don’t question anything.”
Jun’s body became stiff under the sudden ambush. He felt warm tears in his shoulder and the same one started to flow on his cheek, “Just get back to your life. Get back to your Nino, get back to your parents. I will depart alone. Please, Sato nii chan, don’t let me drag you into misery.”
Satoshi gave Jun a smile. A smile that was so dark and decorated with pain, so cold it’s colder than the snow outside, “You heard what Masaki said, this is my decision, my life. Everything was already said and done, there’s no returning back. So, I’ll move to France now, with or without you.”
With that, Satoshi just walked away through the threshold and disappeared from their sight.
Jun slumped down to the floor. It’s the first time for him to look his brother on that awful state, and he knew that it was all because of him. He cried without even preventing it.
Aiba approached Jun, bent down, and held out his hand.
Jun looked up.
Aiba smiled, “Let’s go, shall we?”
Jun reached Aiba’s hand gratefully and stood up, “I’m sorry for all of this, Ma chan. I’m sorry.”
In the 13 hours long flight, they didn’t even speak a word. Satoshi took several sleeping pills and Jun just stared out of the window, sobbing once in a while.
*******
Charles de Gaulle airport was fully packed with people. It was high season, after all. Christmas was just two days away and New Year’s followed tightly after. It was only around 4 PM by the time they arrived, the sky was beautiful and all the Christmas decoration was wonderful. It would be a perfect journey if they were not in such a gloomy situation.
Satoshi scanned the whole airport to find any people that might be his family’s assistant and he found a familiar figure, a Japanese man with stylish suit and calm ambiance. He dashed to the man and both Aiba and Jun followed him silently from behind.
“Ah, welcome to France, young master,” the man bowed.
Satoshi bowed too and about to budge about the ‘young master’ part, but he was totally not in the mood for that, “Nice to meet you again.”
Aiba looked up and his eyes widened, “Okada senpai!”
He recognized the man as Satoshi’s senior by 3 years; his senpai’s senpai. Okada’s father was Ohno family’s trusted assistant - the one who handled all of Ohno family’s personal matters and also actively advised the Ohnos in making business decision. And it seemed that Okada chose the same occupation as his father.
Actually, Aiba was kind of relieved that it was Okada that was going to assist him. He trusted the older man, he always did. He always looked up to Okada when he was just a little kid, until Okada had to move away for his study.
Okada just bowed and took over all of the belongings. He escorted the three of them to the car and took the wheel.
“If it’s not a trouble for you, may I be your driver as well? It’s not that easy to find a driver who understands Japanese here,” Okada broke the silence at some point in their journey to the apartment.
“It’s okay,” Satoshi answered, “In fact, is it possible to not having any other staff in the apartment as well? We can do our chores well, don’t worry. I lived alone in the last three years, after all.”
Jun winced to Satoshi’s intentional stress on the word alone.
Okada took a confused glance towards his young master who was sitting on the front passenger seat instead of the back one, but he nodded anyway, “Alright. No maid, no driver, then?”
Satoshi nodded. The fewer who knows about Jun’s pregnancy, the easier it would be. He was still mulling over the man beside him, though. But he knew Okada well, so he decided that he could be trusted with anything that about to happen on that apartment.
“We... have a complicated matters here, I have to ask you to keep anything as a secret from anyone from now on. Including my parents.”
Okada raised one of his brow, “Understood, young master.”
“And stop with that ‘young master’ already. It’s getting on my nerve. Just ‘Ohno’ would be fine. Or ‘Satoshi’ if you don’t want to feel like calling my old man each time,” Satoshi finally couldn’t stand the honorific.
Okada smiled, “Understood, Satoshi.”
In about half an hour, they arrived to the apartment. Okada opened the unit and let them in. The first scenery got Ohno dumbfounded.
His painting was already there. Wrapped in paper but he knew it was his painting. The painting of himself and Nino. A memento of their ended relationship.
“Ah, it arrived earlier than you guys. Maybe because it was on priority shipment so it arrived so fast,” Okada said cheerfully, didn’t know that the painting just drew a big wound in Satoshi’s heart.
Satoshi inched in slowly. He tore the wrapping and unravel the beauty inside of it. The pain, the sadness, the harsh reality slaughtered him all over again. His tears streamed and his fingers traced Nino’s silhouette gently.
“Come back to him, Sato nii chan. Come back to your happiness,” Jun talked between his own tears. It was unbearably arduous to see his brother in agony like that.
Satoshi ignored Jun completely. It’s really hard for him to swallow. His love, his life, his one and only Nino was not him anymore. Satoshi left him. At his own will.
Suddenly the burden felt so heavy for him to bear. Satoshi dashed to the nearest bedroom and locked it. He wailed and cried and howled his heart out.
Jun’s cry became louder and uncontrollable too. It’s the worst nightmare for him; guilt, sorrow, sadness, pain, and anger crumpled into one in him. He ran to another room and stayed there with his shattered heart.
Okada couldn’t do anything but gape at the whole scene. He didn’t know what happened, but he knew for sure it was big and it was terrible.
Aiba just patted Okada’s shoulder lightly and headed towards Jun’s room just to find out that it was locked from inside too. He knocked softly but Jun just yelled for him to stay away so he did.
He took all the time he had to explain to Okada.
Okada digested all of the information slowly, and he remained in a shocked state until Aiba finished his explanation. They sat next to each other in silence after that, trying to dodge away the pain from hearing the desperate growl and cry.
Until suddenly, Jun’s upset sound couldn’t be heard anymore.
Okada alerted, he came to Jun’s room and knocked. Aiba joined him but nothing came as an answer. Satoshi heard all of the commotion and came out from his room, messed up and panicked.
After ten full minutes of knockings and desperate apologies, the three guys cooperated together to force the door to open. There was horror.
Aiba screamed as for the third time in that week, he found Jun’s body lay helplessly on the floor. Unmoving.
I just realized something...... I progressed so slowly, I think it's going to be a one looooong fic ;__;
Maybe up to 30(ish) chap. (Just like Arashi, 30ish. hihihihi :3) Maybe I should have put a warning or something. ;__;
AH! I just decided to be a mean mean girl like Akiko -> I won't reveal the real reason behind Sho's departure to Korea until the very end. Don't hate me please hahahaha :">
And........ as always! Thanks for lilisan31 and sweetrose501 for betaing and for the prompt.
And thanks to YOU for reading <3 <3 <3 Comments are loved!
Chapter 20
Chapter 22