Brief sporking of the introduction to Cori Falls's site.
The intro is available on the Wayback Machine here.
Tom and Jerry will be taking a short break. Instead, Roy, Elbe, and Richard will be detoxing on this.
(BELATED WARNING: While the text of the sporking itself contains no triggering content to the best of my knowledge, the links to certain of Cori Falls' fics contain extreme violence and severe physical and emotional abuse of a child, and may be triggering. Read with caution.)
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Hello, and welcome to A White Today, and a White Tomorrow! This site is my tribute to Jessie, James OXFORD COMMA! & Meowth -- the REAL stars (and heroes) of Pokemon!
Richard: This already bodes ill.
When my site first opened, it was just a small shrine devoted to Rocketshipping. But before long, it grew and evolved into a site that was not only about Rocketshipping, but Team Rocket in general as well.
Guardian's Song: How do you intend to manage that, seeing as how you always steer the usual Team Rocket trio straight towards the shipping? You mean that you include Butch, Cassidy, Raticate, Giovanni, and so on and so forth as well?
And now, my site has evolved again! Worry not -- it's still all about why Jessie, James, Meowth, and their pokemon rule, and why Jessie & James are one of the best couples ever,
{snip, basically she had computer and bandwidth limitations, and had to cut back a bit because of that.}
But I didn't make this change because of technical reasons alone (though I must admit that scaling back has taken a lot of the stress out of my schedule, and the technical malfunctions have been fewer and farther between since then).
Guardian's Song: *sigh* Unusually for extreme Suethors, Miss Falls often comes across as a sane, intelligent human being.
The problem is that she then swerves hard into disproving the "sane" part.
I also needed to change the layout so that I can concentrate more on my writing...and I needed to do it so that I can accentuate the fact that my stories are now following a different timeline from that of the Pokemon anime.
Richard: In other words, she's writing an AU. Is that so unusual?
I love J, J OXFORD COMMA! & M, and I love writing stories about them, but I'm extremely disappointed in the show itself these days.
Roy: Because Ash hasn't managed to become Champion in gods-know-how-many seasons, despite his video game counterpart doing it in one?
Elbe: Because Ash keeps neglecting his old Pokemon like they're outfits that are now out of season, and changes his friends-group with every generation?
Richard: You expect a Suethor to dislike the direction of a show for rational reasons?
The disrespect and cruelty with which J, J & OXFORD COMMA! M are constantly treated has been upsetting me for a long time now --
Elbe: What?
Roy: Huh?
Richard: Exactly.
Elbe: They're likeable characters, but... did she miss the part where they consistently attempt to kidnap and sell people's beloved pets and companions on the black market, to say nothing of their attempts to steal various precious items and large amounts of money from people? They may be thieves with occasional glimmers of goodness, but they're thieves!
it got real old real fast back in the first season,
Richard: Their complete inability to learn, the incompetence of the police in failing to capture them, and so on and so forth? Yes, in retrospect, it should have.
Guardian's Song: *sulks* Children's series are allowed to make less sense, Richard.
and it keeps getting progressively worse with every passing season! X_x
Richard: See above.
It's gotten to the point where I just can't incorporate it into my fanfics anymore -- it's starting to interfere with my ability to tell a good story and flesh out the characters in a positive, meaningful way.
Richard: Arguably, that's your fault for turning comic-relief stuff into OMGSOSERIOUS drama-ploys, whereupon Team Rocket then gets hit with conversion from lovable buffoons to insane, incompetent stalkers of a ten-year-old boy who want to kidnap his best friend and steal all his other pets in the bargain. Congratulations - it takes effort to make Edward Cullen look good in comparison.
Thus the reason I had to shift away from canon and start doing my own thing.
Richard: AUs are NOT that unusual, truly.
I'd rather pull out all the stops to
Guardian's Song: - warp canon beyond all belief?
portray our heroes as the loving, intelligent characters
Elbe: Well, they are fairly loving, and I suppose they must be intelligent to develop all their schemes on a shoestring budget, but... aren't you leaving out a good deal of adjectives?
that they are, move past all of the shippy hinting and sexual tension OXFORD COMMA! and get down to the nitty-gritty of Jessie & James's romantic relationship, and show J, J OXFORD COMMA! & M coming to terms with their difficult pasts and moving forward with their lives than spend all my time explaining away and "correcting" all of the bad stuff that happens to them on the show, anyway.
Elbe: Wonderful! So she wrote about them reforming, giving up their Rocket ways, and becoming the heroes the show has, at times, hinted they could become?
Richard: ...Your optimism springs eternal even after all we've sporked, Elbe?
Needless to say, you won't find any TR-bashing or anti-Rocketshippiness here.
Guardian's Song: *sourly* Instead, you've driven me to verging-on-bashing Team Rocket. Thank you too much, Miss Falls.
Not now, not ever. J, J OXFORD COMMA! & M deserve so much better than the show, the media, and the like
Elbe: A correctly used Oxford comma! *nearly passes out in shock*
have ever given them,
Richard: ...The media?
Roy: (Tabloids) Jessie/James is THE NEW POWER COUPLE in Pokewood, ohmigaaaaawd! In other recent news, a Snorlax shares its dieting secrets, we just might (or might not) have actual pictures of the Viridian City Gym Leader, and Gi-Gi the Jigglypuff promises that her newest hit record will definitely not put listeners to sleep! All this for just 500 yen!
so this site is all about giving them the happiness, love, respect, and success that they so richly deserve.
Guardian's Song: *buries head between knees, groaning*
Richard: Flashbacks to your own fanfiction?
Guardian's Song: *muffled* The first step towards recovery is knowing you have a problem.
The only thing you'll find here is the truth --
Richard: I suspect that's Rita Skeeter's catchphrase - which should tell you how much I believe it.
that Jessie is a sweet and beautiful person despite her tough nature,
Elbe: Er...
that James is smart, strong, and sexy,
Elbe: Um...
that Jessie & James are deeply, deeply in love with each other,
Elbe: Eeeermm...
and that Meowth, Ekans/Arbok, Koffing/Weezing, Lickitung, Victreebel, Growly,
Guardian's Song: Credit where credit is due - at least SHE acknowledges that Growlithe's existence. *grumbles about ADHD series writers*
and Wobbuffet *pops out of Pokeball* WAAAAAAAAAAAB-BUFFET! are the cutest, coolest, most kick-ass pokemon in existence!
Elbe: Ah... I suppose you could argue for that, but there's a lot of competition for that title in the show alone, much less if you include movies and the games.
And you won't find any depressing or overly-dark fanfics here either. All of the stories that I write and stories by other authors that I've posted have positive outcomes -- none of the main characters die,
Richard: (Meowth) Yeah, these Coricruxes are great!
nobody is raped
Guardian's Song: I'll give Cori Falls this - you have NO IDEA how GRATEFUL I am that she's not using rape for cheap angst. NO IDEA. I cannot STAND the Rape Is The New Dead Parents trope. (And TV Tropes no longer has that page? Bah.) Thank heavens.
or involved in creepy pairings,
Richard: ...
Roy: Why are you looking at me like that?
nobody sustains permanent injuries,
Guardian's Song: If I hadn't read her fics, this would be heartening - as it is, I know she means this as a horrific loophole. And boy am I glad she never posted up that HP fanfic she promised back in 2007 - You do realize the Cruciatus leaves no PERMANENT injuries, right?
(Unless you're tortured into insanity, but up until that point? It would still pass through this loophole...)
nobody is gratuitously tortured,
Guardian's Song: Are you bloody KIDDING me?
etc. This is a safe haven for Jessie, James OXFORD COMMA! & Meowth (and the fans who love them)! And while we're on the subject, this site is also a safe haven for Gary -- another character that I like...and incidentally, another character who gets a bum-rap on the show and from the media.
Elbe: ...Media?
Roy: (Tabloids) Gary's #1 Cheerleader Promises Tell-All Book! More Inside!
On this site, however, Gary gets the respect he deserves...and he's friends with Jessie, James OXFORD COMMA! & Meowth! It's called Katakishipping (a term coined by my good friend, Shigeru1313 ^_^),
Guardian's Song: -_-;; Pardon my cynicism, but I somehow think that "13" is referring to Miss Shigeru's age. (And Shigeru is Gary's Japanese name, in case you're wondering.)
and I support it as steadfastly as I do Rocketshipping.
Guardian's Song: *checks* And since the only two mentions of that term Google pulls up are both in sarajayechan's archive of the Cori Falls rants, I think it didn't catch on. That's a pity. (I don't mean that sarcastically - I figure the more fandom terms and crack!friendships/ships are out there, the better. Row row, fight the (cliche) power, and all that good stuff.)
Which brings me to the point of this introduction. I've named my site A White Today, and a White Tomorrow because it's devoted to why J, J OXFORD COMMA! & M are so wonderful and why they deserve to be happy. I got the "White Tomorrow" part from Kojiro's line of the Japanese motto, where he says that a white tomorrow is waiting for him and his friends.
Guardian's Song: (Annie) Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya, tomorrow! You're always a day a-way...
I interpret this line as meaning that no matter how many adversities they face, our heroes will never give up their dreams, and they're destined for a happy ending someday soon.
Guardian's Song: Um, did you notice the "Always" in the above song I quoted?
I'd like nothing more than for J, J OXFORD COMMA! & M to have a happy ending on the show...but I also firmly believe that they deserve to be happy NOW! They already put up with more than their share of injustice and cruelty on the show, from the media, and even in fandom. They've more than paid their dues, so it's about friggin' time they caught a break!
Elbe: So they'll reform?
Richard: ...*sigh* You are an eternal optimist.
"A White Today" means that this site is just such a place -- a place where Jessie, James, Meowth, and their friends
Elbe: Another correctly used Oxford comma! *shock*
are loved and honored...
Roy: You aren't marrying them, you know. ...Er, and if you are, can you at least leave Meowth out of it? D8
and where the abuse they put up with on the show is invalidated,
Richard: That's the third time you've said you've gone AU. It's just two letters in the summary for most fanfiction wirters!
and the abuse they receive from other sources isn't tolerated.
So, if you're an anti-shipper, somebody who hates Team Rocket, or somebody who doesn't like my opinions or how I'm running my site, then I suggest you leave now.
Guardian's Song: Credit where credit is due - she at least gives fair warning.
I know I've got some really strong beliefs when it comes to TR and Rocketshipping (and I certainly don't expect everybody to like that or agree with me),
Guardian's Song: (Cori Falls) Except in my fanfiction. And except in my Author's Notes, where I rail at, whine about, and denigrate anyone who's ever disagreed with me or written a fanfiction I don't like.
but I'm not forcing anybody to visit my site, and I'm not forcing my beliefs on anybody or hassling those who have different ideas and opinions,
Guardian's Song: (Cori Falls) It's not like I wrote an entire fic devoted to weeping over one fanfiction author who sent me a story I didn't like, or anything.
so it's pointless to flame me about my views on Team Rocket and Rocketshipping, my rejection of Pokemon canon, etc.
Guardian's Song: Milady Falls, I don't really get annoyed by your depiction of Team Rocket and Rocketshipping, except that I don't like your removal of Jessie's spine, the reduction of Team Rocket to helpless victims, and the fluff better suited to an Ariana & Aberforth gen fic, considering how much you enjoy hurt/comfort to the exclusion of all else. But that just annoys me, and the rest of the weird Rocketshipping and rejection of canon is amusing, if anything.
It's your glorification of REPEATED VICIOUS ASSAULTS ON A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD that disgust me.
If you don't like what I'm doing, just go somewhere else, and leave me alone -- it's as simple as that! (Only idiots spend time visiting sites they don't like.
Richard: Or sporkers.
Besides, it's stupid to pick a fight with me about something like this when the world is faced with so many REAL problems.)
Richard: And it's stupid to be writing fanfiction when you could be writing about REAL problems. And it's stupid to be watching a TV show meant for children when you could be watching shows about REAL problems. And...
(Guardian's Song: This line of "argument" gets on my nerves because, while I halfway agree with it, welp, there went the ENTIRE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY. Unless Cori Falls - and everyone who uses this argument - sincerely believes that people should drop everything frivolous to work on solving the major problems of the world, she shouldn't throw it at her opponents.)
To the curious, I cordially invite you to read on and learn of the wonderful characters that this site is all about (and enjoy a pro-TR alternative to what we get on the show)!
Elbe: Unless you can come up with a VERY good reason for why Team Rocket is doing the things they do - and since this is fanfiction, I honestly don't care if it's "they're fending off an extraterrestrial invasion from the Clezinti Empire" - I don't think you can really have a "pro-TR" alternative to the show. A whitewashing attempt - yes. But not an actual internally-consistent alternative viewpoint.
And if you love J, J OXFORD COMMA! & M and Rocketshipping as much as I do (and you're as fed-up with series canon as I am), then welcome to the new world -- a world where Ash Ketchum is shown for the idiotic loser that he is...
Guardian's Song: *pained groan* I... I ought to criticize her on that, but I need to pull a fully-operational logging company out of my own eye before I can criticize the log in hers...
I've never reached the point of GLORIFYING VIOLENT BEATINGS OF CHILDREN in the process of my bashing-campaigns, though. So... I can still claim moral superiority on that point, at east. Miss Falls, you would have done far better in fandom if you hadn't turned YOURSELF into a strawman, that's all I can say.
a world where Jessie, James OXFORD COMMA! & Meowth are the happy, successful people that they deserve to be...
Roy: (Cori Falls) So call 1-800-CORIFIC today!
and above all, a world where love and friendship conquer all,
Guardian's Song: Credit where credit is due - I sure as heck prefer that to 'where wangst and sociopathy conquer all'. So... Cori Falls, in certain ways, is far superior to Meyer, Claire, and Hamilton... and even some authors of undeniably superior series. *cough*GALLANT CRUCIO!*cough*
I just wish she had been a far better writer and saner person. If not for her apparent emotional instability and known berserk over-reactions to things that Slighted Her Woobies, she could have been an good influence upon the Suethor hordes. Better unrealistic fluff, dopey plots, and compulsive swearing than nauseating wangst and compulsive sociopathy.
and Rocketshippiness flourishes!
Richard: That's marvelous to hear - and when WILL Jessie, James, and Meowth get back from vacation and boot their doppelgangers to the curb?
=END BRIEF SPORKING=