When Your 7-Year-Old Son Announces, 'I'm Gay'

[tko_ak]

What do you guys think about thisIt's awesome that the parents are so affirming and positive and supportive. But is 7 truly old enough to know? I mean, I recall being attracted to some boys from a young age, but it was fleeting and obscure. Is it really possible to know before puberty? I dunno

Comments

[mothermelete]

I think the biggest thing is that kids that age rarely have the language to talk about their own sexuality and feelings.
At that age I knew I was queer, but I didn't know what to call it until middle school, and even then, I only thought there was gay, straight, or bisexual. Not until my twenties did I even have the language to begin self-identifying.

[fabfemmeboy]

Of course you can know who you like before puberty. You don't have sexual feelings about them, but let's be honest - straight kids have crushes on kids in their class all the time, including when they're younger than 7. I had crushes on boys starting around age 6. My little brother had crushes on girls starting at 5. I knew I thought Neil Patrick Harris was cute (even if Doogie Houser was a decade older than me, it didn't dissuade my passion), and I knew the way I felt when I talked to my friend's older brother wasn't the same way I felt when I talked to girls in my class, even the ones I was bestest best friends with. I remember being in second grade and feeling betrayed when this boy liked some other girl over me. And I was not a particularly boycrazy kid, compared to the rest of the girls I knew. They were all much more crush-having than I was. That was treated as completely normal...because I was a girl (at the time). So the idea that 7 is too young for a little boy to know who he is? Not in a million years

[crypticwyrd]

It's not too young. In grade school I had gay friends and bi friends and straight friends. My Parents were uber weird so I never talked about my friends, but my housemate Drake had a similar experience and he did tell his parents.

Drake is straight btw and he remembers his parents asking what you just did "How can they know?" and Drake said. "Well, they know what they like." Which makes sense. Even though the bisexual friend moved away, the gay friend didn't and all through high school and as an adult, he's still gay, so, yeah, the little boy can know. Oh, and his parents didn't care/worry and never have about Drake's or any of his friends sexuality.

I have always been bi and just never questioned it. I don't know if that counts, but I knew for sure by seven. :)

[bdouville]

If it's true, then I think it's cool. I have read this person's blogs before. I'm a bit skeptical about its veracity. But if it's true, well, I think she and her husband are handling the situation wonderfully.

I especially like the bit about "when he's older, he may tell us something different." It's good that they are realistic enough to recognize that identity formation is a process. You may know at age seven that you get crushes on boys, but what that means for your identity is something that you might take years -- or decades -- to figure out. And you might go through several labels over time.

And yes, it may be very, very difficult for the kid, which is why it's good that he has supportive parents. As you say, let's hope it turns out well for the young'un. And that he grows out of his obsession with Glee. :)

Cheers,

Bruce

p.s. You knew I'd use this icon, didn't you?

[tko_ak]

I thought of you when I wrote the last line.

[spacylacey]

I'm pretty sure kids that young also come home and tell their parents that they are dinosaurs. You don't have to commit to it. I remember chasing a little girl around the playground in kidnergarten. I think it's just nice to be able to be what you want to be without too much pressure. Even if you want to be a T-Rex.