Comments | gsa_lj: Terms and Terminology

poorfrances in gsa_lj

Terms and Terminology

Oct 01, 2009 13:28

I have noticed a certain trend in the media for awhile, but could not articulate quite as well as my friend marauderthesn did (quoting her with her kind permission): "Celebrity magazines have started referring to unmarried straight couples by terms that gay people found themselves unhappily saddled with a couple of decades ago - after a while I quit counting ( Read more... )

allies, society, equality, relationships, discussion, heterosexual, gay marriage

Comments 22

crysania4 October 1 2009, 19:02:34 UTC

I frequently use the term partner in my straight relationship. I don't know what else to call him. We're not married, we live together, we're a couple. But what do I call him? Boyfriend is rather high schoolish for me (he's 46, I'm 33). Lover is a bit too intimate. He's not my husband, so what do you suggest I call him?

I'm sorry you feel bitter over it and I don't want to offend anyone. A domestic partner is defined as "A person, other than a spouse, with whom one cohabits." It seems to be what we are so I'm not sure what term you would prefer I use.

thevelvetsun October 1 2009, 19:37:59 UTC

Just because they're able to get married shouldn't mean they have to just so they don't use the word partner. They don't want to get married, but they're much more than boyfriend and girlfriend. I think partner is the most appropriate word to describe them.

redstar826 October 1 2009, 19:52:45 UTC

To be honest, I really don't care what terms people use to describe their own relationship.

fabfemmeboy October 1 2009, 22:21:30 UTC

Pretty much. I care what my partner and I use to describe our relationship, and if people use the wrong one for us I gently correct them - with an explanation if they ask - but anyone else is free to do as they please.

a_tergo_lupi October 1 2009, 19:55:39 UTC

Even though I share a lot of opinions with these people, I generally have found the use to be very... unnecessarily political.

nota_faerietale October 1 2009, 20:17:41 UTC

Yet should they have to get married just because they have the legal right? What about those who don't believe in the traditional definition of marriage, or fell a need for it within their personal relationship?

Looking at it from that point of view, what term should be used?

In this day and age, using boyfriend/girlfriend often trivialises a relationship that might be much more serious than casual dating, especially if you're living together or share a family structure or have been together for a considerable length of time.

I think partner is a beautiful term for any person with whom you feel you share your life and they share yours.

Yes, they're ABLE to get married but that doesn't mean they want to do so. As for showing society your commitment, it doesn't require a piece of paper.

And, after all that rambling and if it matters, I have been legally married. I'm also currently in a serious relationship that I can not legally bind in most states. She is my partner and best friend if I'm asked.