Comments | gsa_lj: Don't Ask Don't Tell

nirvelli_lynn in gsa_lj

Don't Ask Don't Tell

Jul 06, 2009 11:57

My girlfriend is getting kicked out of the military due to DADT. She's working with JAG right now to try to get a general discharge vs dishonorable. She was honorably discharged from the Army (now is in the reserves) after 6 years of service. She served in special forces (a rarity for women), was shot twice, has a broze star and several medals for ( Read more... )

advice, sad, health, dadt, wtf

Comments 19

butchjax July 7 2009, 00:34:23 UTC

SLDN will hook you up. Chances are she might be able to get a medical discharge instead of homosexual admission. That means she could enlist in another branch possibly, with some waivers. I volunteered with a guy at the SLDN pride booth who was discharged under a medical issue so his DD214 said nothing about being gay.

I know how much this process sucks. Don't be afraid to reach out to people who have done this before. When I started thinking about getting out I talked to my ex's boot camp buddy who was discharged under DADT as well. It helped to have a rough idea. But mostly I used the invaluable help of SLDN and have them to thank for my honorable discharge. And, it never hurts to write your congress folks and the president to add ammo to the repeal argument.

SLDN will tell you this too, but a gay discharge does not in any way affect the honorable discharge unless an actual crime was committed, and even then it doesn't have to. Her discharge should be honorable without problem.

nirvelli_lynn July 7 2009, 02:32:33 UTC

ok. thank you so much! I'll be working with her on this and have already told her to call. Thank you!

butchjax July 7 2009, 02:41:04 UTC

One thing to keep in mind...don't take it personally if she has a bad day and says some hurtful things to you. I'm not saying she will, but this is a difficult situation in ways no civilian can understand. Try to get her to talk about what's going on and releasing the stress so it doesn't build up so much and you guys will come through this stronger for it. I obviously don't know her, but I know what a typical military woman is like, especially one that volunteers for the Lioness program (which I didn't realize covered all branches, I thought that was Marines only but I've been out for a while). To be in the military and handle that level of insanity, people usually cope by ignoring their feelings and stuffing them, thinking they can will them away. Obviously she can't talk to people at work, but if you two can talk, that's helpful. I don't know if any of this is helpful, it's really hard to be general with complete strangers, so I'm taking a risk and hoping it is. I wish you both the best of luck. It took me years before I ( ... )

nirvelli_lynn July 11 2009, 19:35:38 UTC

again... thank you. Having the thoughts and advice from someone who knows what this is like has been extraordinarily helpful on my end. Right now things are looking up. She has a great defense team now and some major players in her court. She may not even get kicked out... we'll see. But I know at least it will all be ok.

Thread 5

tko_ak July 7 2009, 01:22:21 UTC

I'm sorry to hear that. She deserves better from the United States for what she's done for this country. This sort of thing just pisses me the hell off.

I don't have any real advice other than what others have already said. The SLDN is probably your best bet.

nirvelli_lynn July 7 2009, 02:32:54 UTC

I agree... I think anger is exactly how I feel.

marauderthesn July 7 2009, 02:56:26 UTC

I don't have any advice or resources, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about this. My grandfather had a bronze star from WWII, so I can understand at least a little bit about how much that means. I hope this all works out for you two.

halogencycle July 7 2009, 09:07:26 UTC

I thought honorable discharges were typical for people being kicked out because of DADT. Is there some detail about this you didn't mention that makes a general or dishonorable discharge a possibility?

Several people have already mentioned SLDN, which is the organization that knows these issues inside out. Other than that, I'll just add my voice to those who find the DADT law vile and stupid.

butchjax July 11 2009, 19:42:48 UTC

It is typical to get honorable discharges, but that doesn't mean it is always the case. If you end up with an asshole of a CO who doesn't care about following regulations, then you could end up with a general - unless you have people like SLDN working on your side. Of course, if a person has disciplinary actions on their record, they can end up with a general for a gay discharge, but that's because of their record, not because they are gay.

Just wanted to let you know that you weren't wrong.

jarrellwoods July 8 2009, 01:12:04 UTC

You might also try looking at http://aver.us/aver/