Are They Fighting Words, Really?

[gryff_slytherin]

Laura A. Munson recently wrote in a New York Times piece titled, "Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear". She chronicles how she "ducked" when her husband told her he didn't love her anymore. She understood (or at least tried to understand) that it wasn't about her, but that it was about him when her husband began to have a midlife crisis

Comments

[drcjsnider]

Interesting article and I agree the root of most mid-life crisises lie inside the person, but unlike this guy I'm guessing that most men don't make the statement 'i don't love you and i want to move out' until after they've already got their backup plan in place - i.e. a girlfriend, etc. I find it hard to imagine 'ducking' with something like that going on...

[gryff_slytherin]

Yeah, she's lucky that he didn't have a backup plan in place. I can just imagine how different that conversation could've gone. I also thought ducking was hard to imagine, but then I thought I wasn't married... definitely an interesting article. =D

[margaritaabate]

I think its interesting and every case is unique. As someone who's marriage is ending, I can say that my husband's crisis continues and is tied to a recurring depression that I can no longer deal with. I tried ducking (though) I didn't call it that, and it didn't help. It depends on every individual case but not every marriage can be saved, or is worth saving. By that I also think of the children, sometimes its not in their best interests for the parents to stay together. Great article and thanks for sharing.

[margaritaabate]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm of the mindset that children need happy parents and if that means not being together then so be it. I bear my husband no ill will, I want him to be happy and healthy. It makes my son happy and it, in turn, brings me the greatest joy to know my son is happy.

[gryff_slytherin]

I'm sorry to hear about your sister too, especially about her children. I don't think one spouse should blame the other spouse. But I guess every situation is different.