What's in a Kiss, chapter 4
Title: What's In a Kiss
Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia
Pairing: Peter/Susan, non-incestuous
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He always leaves her with a kiss. This Chapter - Susan enters Narnia.
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3
A/N: This chapter chronicles a lot of the events in LWW. Because I'm still torn between which version I like better - book or movie - this is a bit of a combination of the two. Some exchanges are straight from the book, others straight from the movie, and others are a mixture between the two. I hope nothing's too confusing. Enjoy! ♥
Chapter Four - Of Wardrobes and Wolves
Susan had never been the brave one. She was always the smart one, the pretty one, the mannerly one, but never had she been called brave.
She can remember the first time she ever heard the word. She was quite young and playing a game of hide and seek with Peter. Determined to win this time, she hid herself in a place where she knew Peter would not look - in their mother's wardrobe. Being as young as she was, her sensibility had not yet developed, and as such she did not know that you should never, never shut yourself in a wardrobe.
Being surrounded by her mother's long, fancy dresses did not give her any comfort when she realized that somehow she had locked herself in. She banged on the wood and was scared in the darkness, crying for Peter.
It took her brother ages to find her and when he did, she spilled out from the wardrobe sobbing. He awkwardly patted her on the head (and as Susan's sensibility had not yet developed, neither had Peter's sensitivity) and asked her please to stop crying.
"Just be brave, Su," he said, and though she had no idea what the word meant, she dried her eyes and resolved to look it up in the dictionary.
The next time she heard the word was when Edmund fell ill at the age of seven. The doctor, and old man with a long black mustache, told them that he might die. His grave face struck an awful note in her heart and Susan thought she might faint from how scared she was. Edmund pressed on through his sickness, though, and when he wasn't pale and shaking anymore, the doctor clapped him on the back and said, "Why, I've never seen such a strong fellow. You're a brave one, lad."
The word was used almost every week when it came to her youngest sibling, Lucy, who had a spirit for adventure and mischief. Always getting herself into something exciting and unknowingly dangerous, she had a habit for surprising them all with her valiance.
Once, mother and father had taken them all to the park, and the second eyes were not on Lucy, the young girl climbed the tallest tree she could find. Susan remembers how wide her smile was when they saw her up in the tree ("Hi!" she proudly said, waving down at them) and how quickly that smile vanished when it dawned on her that she didn't know how to get down. Father had gone to the tree and talked to her soothingly, encouraging her to climb down aways and then jump into his arms. "I'll catch you, darling," he'd said.
Lucy had needed no further convincing and did exactly as she was told, trusting that her father would indeed catch her.
Afterwards, mother went on and on about how brave her little Lucy was, how not a trace of fear had been present in her round eyes. Susan stood back from the circle her family made around her sister, her hands shaking with relief, her heart still pounding with fright.
--
When she enters the wintery wood of Narnia, she feels a bit of fear swelling in her gut. This new world is beautiful and enchanting, but the fact that other worlds even exist unsettles her a bit. She wants to go back into the wardrobe nearly the moment she stumbles out of it.
Nevertheless, she ventures out with her siblings. Lucy decides she wants to go visit her friend, who she says is a faun, and they follow her as she leads the way to his home. As they walk through the thick blanket of snow, Susan can't help the smile that dances across her lips. She has always liked the winter. She giggles as Peter trips himself up and falls down laughing, then drops next to him to make snow angels. Lucy attempts to engage Edmund in the fun by throwing a snowball at him, and he cracks a tiny, barely-there smile.
Laying there, laughing and shivering, all Susan can think about is how happy her family is. She thinks it's the first time she's heard Peter laugh since their father was sent away. For this moment, the four of them are in a world where there is no War, no pain, no suffering. It seems simply perfect.
--
They reach the vandalized home of the faun Tumnus (or was it Thomas?) and Susan thinks she might have been wrong. Lucy's dear new friend has been accused of treason against the Queen of Narnia by fraternizing with humans. Susan bites her lip when Peter reads this last part of the letter - apparently humans aren't welcome in this country. "I don't know that I'm going to like this place after all," she says.
Peter turns to Lucy and asks who this Queen is, and Lucy explains that she's really not a Queen at all, but a horrible witch. Susan opens her mouth to scold her for her language, but then she puts a hand over her heart. Lu means a real witch.
"I - I wonder if there's any point in going on," Susan says, her heart racing. "I mean, it doesn't seem particularly safe here and it looks as if it won't be much fun either. And it's getting colder every minute, and we've brought nothing to eat. What about just going home?"
Lucy implores her that they need to save Mr. Tumnus/Thomas, that it is her fault he's been arrested. Edmund argues that they can do nothing, reiterating Susan's earlier point about the lack of food. Peter angrily tells him to shut up, and turns to her. "What do you think, Susan?" he asks.
She wants to agree with Edmund, to say that they need to go back home, but the look on Lucy's face stops her. Wishing that she could say no to her sister, just once, she sighs. "I've a horrid feeling that Lu is right," she says, and Lucy lips turn slightly upwards. Susan sighs again, more heavily this time. "I don't want to go a step further and wish we'd never come. But I think we must try to do something for Mr. Whatever-his-name is - I mean the faun."
"That's what I feel, too," says Peter.
Susan promises herself to be brave, no matter what they face.
--
There are talking beavers here and a prophecy and apparently a King who happens to be a Lion, and it's too much to wrap her head around. Rescuing Mr. Tumnus is far from her thoughts now. This isn't fun for her anymore - this is plain foolishness - and all she wants to do is get back to the Professor's house and take a warm bath.
"Thanks for your hospitality," she informs the beavers, standing up from the table. She silently hopes that Peter does the same, that he's had enough of this like she has. When he does, she quickly smiles with relief.
And then Edmund goes missing.
--
Her mind is plagued with thoughts of her little brother and she can't help but think that none of this would have happened if they had never come to this place. Her nerves are at their breaking point and in a shaking voice she unfairly accuses Peter, saying it is his fault they are here and he is the reason why Ed's run off. His glare is pained and angry, and he yells back. Then Lucy breaks in, making them see that their fighting isn't going to help Edmund.
Mr. Beaver says that Aslan is the only one who can help their brother now and Susan tries to fight the anxiety she has over meeting the Lion. She's scared of him, but she's even more scared of the White Witch and what will happen to Ed. She wishes for something to calm her, to ease her fears, and her silent prayer is answered the next morning.
Father Christmas finds them and pulls a large bag out of his sleigh, a happy smile on his face. Lucy goes to him first and he looks her directly in the eye, holding up a tiny, crystal bottle. "The juice of the fireflower. One drop will cure any injury. And though I hope you never have to use it..." He gives her a small dagger and Susan fights back the urge to tug such a dangerous item from her sister's hands.
"Thank you, sir," says Lucy. "I think I could be brave enough."
"I'm sure you could, but battles are ugly affairs." He gives her an encouraging smile and pulls other items from his bag, calling to Susan.
She steps forward hesitantly and accepts from him a quiver and arrows. "Trust in this bow and it will not easily miss," he tells her, his voice emphasizing the word 'trust'.
She stares at him, feeling confused and frightened all at once. "What happened to 'battles are ugly affairs'?"
He chuckles heartily. "Though you don't seem to have a problem making yourself heard, blow on this and wherever you are, help will come." He holds out a beautifully crafted horn and Susan looks upon it with awe, and a calming comes over her, a feeling that everything will be okay.
Father Christmas turns to Peter last and hands him a shield and a sword. Susan watches as Peter pulls the sword from its sheath, how his eyes rove down the metal blade with determined acceptance. The expression on his face has never been more brave, more noble, and she no longer feels, but knows that everything will be okay.
--
They stand before the great Lion, and Susan cannot look at him. She trembles at the sight of his fierce face, his great eyes, and she can feel that Peter and Lucy, too, are trembling.
"Go on," whispers Mr. Beaver.
"No," says Peter, just as quietly. "You first."
"No, Sons of Adam before animals," insists Mr. Beaver.
"Susan," Peter whispers. "What about you? Ladies first."
She gives him an anxious stare and shakes her head. "No, you're the eldest."
They go on like this for awhile, awkwardly and stubbornly, neither of them wanting to give in. Finally Peter draws his magnificent sword and raised it to salute, telling them, "Come on. Pull yourselves together." He steps forward toward the Lion and says, "We have come - Aslan."
Just the sound of the Lion's name makes Susan tremble even more, but she feels less awkward now. They all begin to talk and Aslan seeks an explanation for Edmund's betrayal.
They all fall silent until Peter takes it upon himself to do the speaking. "It was my fault," he says, no longer looking brave but sad. "I was angry with him and I think that helped him to go wrong. I was too hard on him."
Susan's heart flutters with guilt at accusing Peter for Edmund's actions, and she wants so badly to apologize, to assure him that the blame is not fully is. But this is not the time or the place for verbal apologies. Instead, she runs a hand up his arm to rest on his shoulder and squeezes it gently. He glances down at her with understanding as she bravely turns to Aslan.
"We all were," she says, looking the Lion directly in the eyes.
--
"You look like Mum," says Lucy in a soft voice, touching the fabric of Susan's green dress.
"Mum hasn't had a dress like this since before the War," Susan remarks, and it's not the first time since being in this new land that she's thought about her mother.
Now she thinks of her all dressed to go out with their father for a night on the town, her black hair hanging in curls around her neck. She sees her working tirelessly to fashion a new pair of mittens for Lucy, even though she's worked all day. She sees her soaking her blistered, tired feet in a tub of hot water while helping Peter with his studies.
She misses her.
"We should bring her one back!" says Lucy excitedly. "A whole trunk full!"
"If we ever get back," says Susan, unable to keep the sadness out of her voice.
If Mum knew what we were doing, is the continuous thought that's run throughout her mind the entire time they've been here. What would her mum say if she knew they had talked to a terrifying and beautiful Lion? What would she say if she knew that they had almost lost Lucy to the river? What would she say if she knew Edmund had been taken by the White Witch?
She resolves to get back home as soon as possible. They'll find Ed and then they'll all go back to the wardrobe, back to the Professor's. Only, she thinks, her mother won't be there either.
She looks down at Lucy, whose eyes are focused on the grass now. Susan feels awful for taking away her excitement and she forces a soft smile. "I'm sorry I'm like that."
Lucy looks back up at her and Susan feels that she understands. Something about this place has given Lucy a certain intuitiveness about others and it amazes Susan how her sister has changed in just a few short days. Or perhaps Lucy had changed a long while ago and she's only noticed it now. She's been so busy worrying for her sister that she hasn't really seen her.
"We used to have fun together, didn't we?" Susan continues. Before I started acting like your mother. Before I started trying to be smart all the time.
"Yes," says Lucy, and then she giggles. "Before you got boring!"
Well, that is certainly another way to put it.
"Oh, really?" she says with a mischievious grin, and she splashes her sister with water from the brook. Lucy squeals and splashes her back, and then they are both laughing and wiping the water from their eyes.
Susan rushes to get a towel, Lucy following behind her. And then there is a wolf, grey and ferocious, its fur sticking out dangerously, it's yellow eyes purging into her soul. He growls and its the ugliest sound Susan's ever heard. She and Lucy give small shrieks of fear as another wolf appears.
"Please don't try to run," says the first wolf, "We're tired and we prefer to kill you quickly." The second wolf circles around them, its teeth bared and dripping with saliva.
Susan looks over at Lucy, full of fear, and her sister's eyes go to the nearby pavilon. Susan's horn hangs there and she quickly nods at Lucy.
With a strangled yell, she throws the towel into the face of the wolf in front of her. "Go, Lucy!" she screams, meaning for her run to the nearest tree and climb, but Lucy runs in completely the opposite direction; Susan runs for her horn.
While the first wolf rolls around to remove the towel from his face, the second wolf looks between Susan and Lucy, torn as to which one he should go after. He advances toward Susan as she blows hard into her horn, and nips at her feet as she runs toward the tree.
Both wolves are chasing after her now, growling ferociously, and when Susan reaches the tree she jumps as high as she can, her arms circling around a large branch. Her hands scrape against the bark clumsily as she tries to get a good grip and pull herself up. She manages to climb up to another, higher, branch in the tree and she holds on for dear life.
She's in an awkward position, one leg wrapped around the second branch, the other dangling down so that her foot is only an inch away from the snapping teeth. She tells herself to go higher, to pull up her other leg, but she can't. She's not strong enough.
Susan struggles to keep clinging to the branch, but she feels as if every part of her body is on fire. Terror throbs through her every muscle, white dots pierce her vision, and her hands sting with cuts and blood.
Help, help, help, she pleads silently, feeling violently sick. She knows her body won't be able to handle this for much longer, that her grip will loosen and she'll fall to her death. Somewhere inside of her, she's comforted by the fact that Lucy is not here, that she's run away.
She closes her eyes and bites down on her lip, hard. One of her hands slips just so...one of the wolves bites her ankle, but she doesn't have the energy to even cry out...
Susan knows she's going to die, and she's glad at least that she'll die bravely.
And then she hears Peter's voice. "Susan! Susan!" he cries, rushing toward her. She wants to yell at him to stay away, but he comes anyway, a small army of creatures behind him. His sword is clasped awkwardly in his hand. The wolves turn to him now, taunting and howling at him, and she knows she's going to faint.
Then she hears another growl, but it is the growl of a Lion, and a horrible squeal comes from one of the wolves. The sound of its pain and defeat gives Susan the strength to finally pull her other leg up. She wraps her arms around the tree's trunk, eyes still closed, tears streaking down her face. Aslan tells the other creatures to slay their weapons, that this is Peter's battle, and Susan chokes on a sob. She doesn't want him to be killed for her.
Over the sounds of her sobbing, she can't hear the wolf attack Peter, nor the sound of her brother's blade going through the brute's heart. She doesn't hear Peter wrestling with the wolf, nor the horrible cracking that sounds when its teeth knock against his forehead. She doesn't hear the wolf's final cry of pain, nor Peter's frantic breathing when he sees that the monster is dead.
"Susan?" says Peter after a few moments, his voice quaking. "Susan, it's alright. I've slayed the wolf."
There is a proud tremor in his voice, and Susan admires him for being so brave. She wants to hug him and thank him for rescuing her, but she finds that she cannot move. How dearly she wants to come down from this tree, but she can't. Her body is stiff and shocked, still paralyzed with fear, and her ankle burns with pain. Her entire body convulses.
"Susan, please," begs Peter. "You have me scared to death. Everything's okay."
Her eyes open. Below her stands Peter, blue eyes bright, his face glistening with sweat. Wordlessly, he beckons for her to come down from the tree, holding out a bloody hand to her. It shakes.
She thinks of Lucy in the tree, of Edmund when he was ill, and she tries to be brave like them.
Slowly, Susan begins to climb down. She is able to reach the first large branch of the tree, but then her ankle weakens and she falls the rest of the way down. Peter catches her, but he too is weak, and they fall backwards onto the grass. The feeling that she is going to pass out is overwhelming, but the relieved look in her brother's eyes is even more overwhelming. She throws her arms wildly around him.
He holds her tightly and buries his face in the crook of her neck. Her heart beats furiously against her chest and she can feel his do the same. They're both shaking from head to toe, relief and adrenaline still pumping through them. Tears flow freely down her cheeks and she can feel his own tears on her skin. Her hands grip at his sweat soaked golden hair. Then she presses kisses on his face as his own lips seek out her forehead, her nose, her cheeks. She's aware that they're both whispering nonsensical things to each other now, voices unnaturally high pitched, and they're making quite a scene. For once she doesn't care about appearances.
"You were so brave, Su," he says against her hair and she cries even harder, holding him closer and kissing his face again.
But in Narnia no one thinks any the worse of you for that.
--
After awhile they pull themselves together, and then she and Lucy watch as Aslan taps Peter's shoulders with the flat of his sword. "Rise up, Sir Peter Wolf's-Bane," he says, and Peter turns to his sisters, smiling.
Susan smiles; her brother is a Knight now.
He'd always been one to her.
--
Susan uses the light of the fire to examine the deep gash on Peter's forehead and the places on his forearms that the wolf had managed to attack. He wraps her cut hands in bandages and winces at the sight of her gnashed ankle.
As they head off to their seperate tents later that night, she kisses his forehead the way her mother used to kiss her bruises and scrapes. He kisses the palm of her hand where her cuts used to be and begins to walk away from her when he stops and turns back.
"Don't wander off alright?" he says. "I can't lose you, too."
It's his indirect way of talking about Edmund, but she knows he doesn't want to press the conversation further. She hopes that they find him soon.
Susan nods and begins to limp away to her tent, but then she stops as well. She calls out his name and he turns around, and his eyes shine at her even in the darkness. When she speaks, her voice is quiet but still carries across the night. "Thank you."
Peter grins.
--
He kisses her so she knows that he'll always keep her safe.
--
Read the next chapter here! ♥
--
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Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia
Pairing: Peter/Susan, non-incestuous
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He always leaves her with a kiss. This Chapter - Susan enters Narnia.
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3
A/N: This chapter chronicles a lot of the events in LWW. Because I'm still torn between which version I like better - book or movie - this is a bit of a combination of the two. Some exchanges are straight from the book, others straight from the movie, and others are a mixture between the two. I hope nothing's too confusing. Enjoy! ♥
Chapter Four - Of Wardrobes and Wolves
Susan had never been the brave one. She was always the smart one, the pretty one, the mannerly one, but never had she been called brave.
She can remember the first time she ever heard the word. She was quite young and playing a game of hide and seek with Peter. Determined to win this time, she hid herself in a place where she knew Peter would not look - in their mother's wardrobe. Being as young as she was, her sensibility had not yet developed, and as such she did not know that you should never, never shut yourself in a wardrobe.
Being surrounded by her mother's long, fancy dresses did not give her any comfort when she realized that somehow she had locked herself in. She banged on the wood and was scared in the darkness, crying for Peter.
It took her brother ages to find her and when he did, she spilled out from the wardrobe sobbing. He awkwardly patted her on the head (and as Susan's sensibility had not yet developed, neither had Peter's sensitivity) and asked her please to stop crying.
"Just be brave, Su," he said, and though she had no idea what the word meant, she dried her eyes and resolved to look it up in the dictionary.
The next time she heard the word was when Edmund fell ill at the age of seven. The doctor, and old man with a long black mustache, told them that he might die. His grave face struck an awful note in her heart and Susan thought she might faint from how scared she was. Edmund pressed on through his sickness, though, and when he wasn't pale and shaking anymore, the doctor clapped him on the back and said, "Why, I've never seen such a strong fellow. You're a brave one, lad."
The word was used almost every week when it came to her youngest sibling, Lucy, who had a spirit for adventure and mischief. Always getting herself into something exciting and unknowingly dangerous, she had a habit for surprising them all with her valiance.
Once, mother and father had taken them all to the park, and the second eyes were not on Lucy, the young girl climbed the tallest tree she could find. Susan remembers how wide her smile was when they saw her up in the tree ("Hi!" she proudly said, waving down at them) and how quickly that smile vanished when it dawned on her that she didn't know how to get down. Father had gone to the tree and talked to her soothingly, encouraging her to climb down aways and then jump into his arms. "I'll catch you, darling," he'd said.
Lucy had needed no further convincing and did exactly as she was told, trusting that her father would indeed catch her.
Afterwards, mother went on and on about how brave her little Lucy was, how not a trace of fear had been present in her round eyes. Susan stood back from the circle her family made around her sister, her hands shaking with relief, her heart still pounding with fright.
--
When she enters the wintery wood of Narnia, she feels a bit of fear swelling in her gut. This new world is beautiful and enchanting, but the fact that other worlds even exist unsettles her a bit. She wants to go back into the wardrobe nearly the moment she stumbles out of it.
Nevertheless, she ventures out with her siblings. Lucy decides she wants to go visit her friend, who she says is a faun, and they follow her as she leads the way to his home. As they walk through the thick blanket of snow, Susan can't help the smile that dances across her lips. She has always liked the winter. She giggles as Peter trips himself up and falls down laughing, then drops next to him to make snow angels. Lucy attempts to engage Edmund in the fun by throwing a snowball at him, and he cracks a tiny, barely-there smile.
Laying there, laughing and shivering, all Susan can think about is how happy her family is. She thinks it's the first time she's heard Peter laugh since their father was sent away. For this moment, the four of them are in a world where there is no War, no pain, no suffering. It seems simply perfect.
--
They reach the vandalized home of the faun Tumnus (or was it Thomas?) and Susan thinks she might have been wrong. Lucy's dear new friend has been accused of treason against the Queen of Narnia by fraternizing with humans. Susan bites her lip when Peter reads this last part of the letter - apparently humans aren't welcome in this country. "I don't know that I'm going to like this place after all," she says.
Peter turns to Lucy and asks who this Queen is, and Lucy explains that she's really not a Queen at all, but a horrible witch. Susan opens her mouth to scold her for her language, but then she puts a hand over her heart. Lu means a real witch.
"I - I wonder if there's any point in going on," Susan says, her heart racing. "I mean, it doesn't seem particularly safe here and it looks as if it won't be much fun either. And it's getting colder every minute, and we've brought nothing to eat. What about just going home?"
Lucy implores her that they need to save Mr. Tumnus/Thomas, that it is her fault he's been arrested. Edmund argues that they can do nothing, reiterating Susan's earlier point about the lack of food. Peter angrily tells him to shut up, and turns to her. "What do you think, Susan?" he asks.
She wants to agree with Edmund, to say that they need to go back home, but the look on Lucy's face stops her. Wishing that she could say no to her sister, just once, she sighs. "I've a horrid feeling that Lu is right," she says, and Lucy lips turn slightly upwards. Susan sighs again, more heavily this time. "I don't want to go a step further and wish we'd never come. But I think we must try to do something for Mr. Whatever-his-name is - I mean the faun."
"That's what I feel, too," says Peter.
Susan promises herself to be brave, no matter what they face.
--
There are talking beavers here and a prophecy and apparently a King who happens to be a Lion, and it's too much to wrap her head around. Rescuing Mr. Tumnus is far from her thoughts now. This isn't fun for her anymore - this is plain foolishness - and all she wants to do is get back to the Professor's house and take a warm bath.
"Thanks for your hospitality," she informs the beavers, standing up from the table. She silently hopes that Peter does the same, that he's had enough of this like she has. When he does, she quickly smiles with relief.
And then Edmund goes missing.
--
Her mind is plagued with thoughts of her little brother and she can't help but think that none of this would have happened if they had never come to this place. Her nerves are at their breaking point and in a shaking voice she unfairly accuses Peter, saying it is his fault they are here and he is the reason why Ed's run off. His glare is pained and angry, and he yells back. Then Lucy breaks in, making them see that their fighting isn't going to help Edmund.
Mr. Beaver says that Aslan is the only one who can help their brother now and Susan tries to fight the anxiety she has over meeting the Lion. She's scared of him, but she's even more scared of the White Witch and what will happen to Ed. She wishes for something to calm her, to ease her fears, and her silent prayer is answered the next morning.
Father Christmas finds them and pulls a large bag out of his sleigh, a happy smile on his face. Lucy goes to him first and he looks her directly in the eye, holding up a tiny, crystal bottle. "The juice of the fireflower. One drop will cure any injury. And though I hope you never have to use it..." He gives her a small dagger and Susan fights back the urge to tug such a dangerous item from her sister's hands.
"Thank you, sir," says Lucy. "I think I could be brave enough."
"I'm sure you could, but battles are ugly affairs." He gives her an encouraging smile and pulls other items from his bag, calling to Susan.
She steps forward hesitantly and accepts from him a quiver and arrows. "Trust in this bow and it will not easily miss," he tells her, his voice emphasizing the word 'trust'.
She stares at him, feeling confused and frightened all at once. "What happened to 'battles are ugly affairs'?"
He chuckles heartily. "Though you don't seem to have a problem making yourself heard, blow on this and wherever you are, help will come." He holds out a beautifully crafted horn and Susan looks upon it with awe, and a calming comes over her, a feeling that everything will be okay.
Father Christmas turns to Peter last and hands him a shield and a sword. Susan watches as Peter pulls the sword from its sheath, how his eyes rove down the metal blade with determined acceptance. The expression on his face has never been more brave, more noble, and she no longer feels, but knows that everything will be okay.
--
They stand before the great Lion, and Susan cannot look at him. She trembles at the sight of his fierce face, his great eyes, and she can feel that Peter and Lucy, too, are trembling.
"Go on," whispers Mr. Beaver.
"No," says Peter, just as quietly. "You first."
"No, Sons of Adam before animals," insists Mr. Beaver.
"Susan," Peter whispers. "What about you? Ladies first."
She gives him an anxious stare and shakes her head. "No, you're the eldest."
They go on like this for awhile, awkwardly and stubbornly, neither of them wanting to give in. Finally Peter draws his magnificent sword and raised it to salute, telling them, "Come on. Pull yourselves together." He steps forward toward the Lion and says, "We have come - Aslan."
Just the sound of the Lion's name makes Susan tremble even more, but she feels less awkward now. They all begin to talk and Aslan seeks an explanation for Edmund's betrayal.
They all fall silent until Peter takes it upon himself to do the speaking. "It was my fault," he says, no longer looking brave but sad. "I was angry with him and I think that helped him to go wrong. I was too hard on him."
Susan's heart flutters with guilt at accusing Peter for Edmund's actions, and she wants so badly to apologize, to assure him that the blame is not fully is. But this is not the time or the place for verbal apologies. Instead, she runs a hand up his arm to rest on his shoulder and squeezes it gently. He glances down at her with understanding as she bravely turns to Aslan.
"We all were," she says, looking the Lion directly in the eyes.
--
"You look like Mum," says Lucy in a soft voice, touching the fabric of Susan's green dress.
"Mum hasn't had a dress like this since before the War," Susan remarks, and it's not the first time since being in this new land that she's thought about her mother.
Now she thinks of her all dressed to go out with their father for a night on the town, her black hair hanging in curls around her neck. She sees her working tirelessly to fashion a new pair of mittens for Lucy, even though she's worked all day. She sees her soaking her blistered, tired feet in a tub of hot water while helping Peter with his studies.
She misses her.
"We should bring her one back!" says Lucy excitedly. "A whole trunk full!"
"If we ever get back," says Susan, unable to keep the sadness out of her voice.
If Mum knew what we were doing, is the continuous thought that's run throughout her mind the entire time they've been here. What would her mum say if she knew they had talked to a terrifying and beautiful Lion? What would she say if she knew that they had almost lost Lucy to the river? What would she say if she knew Edmund had been taken by the White Witch?
She resolves to get back home as soon as possible. They'll find Ed and then they'll all go back to the wardrobe, back to the Professor's. Only, she thinks, her mother won't be there either.
She looks down at Lucy, whose eyes are focused on the grass now. Susan feels awful for taking away her excitement and she forces a soft smile. "I'm sorry I'm like that."
Lucy looks back up at her and Susan feels that she understands. Something about this place has given Lucy a certain intuitiveness about others and it amazes Susan how her sister has changed in just a few short days. Or perhaps Lucy had changed a long while ago and she's only noticed it now. She's been so busy worrying for her sister that she hasn't really seen her.
"We used to have fun together, didn't we?" Susan continues. Before I started acting like your mother. Before I started trying to be smart all the time.
"Yes," says Lucy, and then she giggles. "Before you got boring!"
Well, that is certainly another way to put it.
"Oh, really?" she says with a mischievious grin, and she splashes her sister with water from the brook. Lucy squeals and splashes her back, and then they are both laughing and wiping the water from their eyes.
Susan rushes to get a towel, Lucy following behind her. And then there is a wolf, grey and ferocious, its fur sticking out dangerously, it's yellow eyes purging into her soul. He growls and its the ugliest sound Susan's ever heard. She and Lucy give small shrieks of fear as another wolf appears.
"Please don't try to run," says the first wolf, "We're tired and we prefer to kill you quickly." The second wolf circles around them, its teeth bared and dripping with saliva.
Susan looks over at Lucy, full of fear, and her sister's eyes go to the nearby pavilon. Susan's horn hangs there and she quickly nods at Lucy.
With a strangled yell, she throws the towel into the face of the wolf in front of her. "Go, Lucy!" she screams, meaning for her run to the nearest tree and climb, but Lucy runs in completely the opposite direction; Susan runs for her horn.
While the first wolf rolls around to remove the towel from his face, the second wolf looks between Susan and Lucy, torn as to which one he should go after. He advances toward Susan as she blows hard into her horn, and nips at her feet as she runs toward the tree.
Both wolves are chasing after her now, growling ferociously, and when Susan reaches the tree she jumps as high as she can, her arms circling around a large branch. Her hands scrape against the bark clumsily as she tries to get a good grip and pull herself up. She manages to climb up to another, higher, branch in the tree and she holds on for dear life.
She's in an awkward position, one leg wrapped around the second branch, the other dangling down so that her foot is only an inch away from the snapping teeth. She tells herself to go higher, to pull up her other leg, but she can't. She's not strong enough.
Susan struggles to keep clinging to the branch, but she feels as if every part of her body is on fire. Terror throbs through her every muscle, white dots pierce her vision, and her hands sting with cuts and blood.
Help, help, help, she pleads silently, feeling violently sick. She knows her body won't be able to handle this for much longer, that her grip will loosen and she'll fall to her death. Somewhere inside of her, she's comforted by the fact that Lucy is not here, that she's run away.
She closes her eyes and bites down on her lip, hard. One of her hands slips just so...one of the wolves bites her ankle, but she doesn't have the energy to even cry out...
Susan knows she's going to die, and she's glad at least that she'll die bravely.
And then she hears Peter's voice. "Susan! Susan!" he cries, rushing toward her. She wants to yell at him to stay away, but he comes anyway, a small army of creatures behind him. His sword is clasped awkwardly in his hand. The wolves turn to him now, taunting and howling at him, and she knows she's going to faint.
Then she hears another growl, but it is the growl of a Lion, and a horrible squeal comes from one of the wolves. The sound of its pain and defeat gives Susan the strength to finally pull her other leg up. She wraps her arms around the tree's trunk, eyes still closed, tears streaking down her face. Aslan tells the other creatures to slay their weapons, that this is Peter's battle, and Susan chokes on a sob. She doesn't want him to be killed for her.
Over the sounds of her sobbing, she can't hear the wolf attack Peter, nor the sound of her brother's blade going through the brute's heart. She doesn't hear Peter wrestling with the wolf, nor the horrible cracking that sounds when its teeth knock against his forehead. She doesn't hear the wolf's final cry of pain, nor Peter's frantic breathing when he sees that the monster is dead.
"Susan?" says Peter after a few moments, his voice quaking. "Susan, it's alright. I've slayed the wolf."
There is a proud tremor in his voice, and Susan admires him for being so brave. She wants to hug him and thank him for rescuing her, but she finds that she cannot move. How dearly she wants to come down from this tree, but she can't. Her body is stiff and shocked, still paralyzed with fear, and her ankle burns with pain. Her entire body convulses.
"Susan, please," begs Peter. "You have me scared to death. Everything's okay."
Her eyes open. Below her stands Peter, blue eyes bright, his face glistening with sweat. Wordlessly, he beckons for her to come down from the tree, holding out a bloody hand to her. It shakes.
She thinks of Lucy in the tree, of Edmund when he was ill, and she tries to be brave like them.
Slowly, Susan begins to climb down. She is able to reach the first large branch of the tree, but then her ankle weakens and she falls the rest of the way down. Peter catches her, but he too is weak, and they fall backwards onto the grass. The feeling that she is going to pass out is overwhelming, but the relieved look in her brother's eyes is even more overwhelming. She throws her arms wildly around him.
He holds her tightly and buries his face in the crook of her neck. Her heart beats furiously against her chest and she can feel his do the same. They're both shaking from head to toe, relief and adrenaline still pumping through them. Tears flow freely down her cheeks and she can feel his own tears on her skin. Her hands grip at his sweat soaked golden hair. Then she presses kisses on his face as his own lips seek out her forehead, her nose, her cheeks. She's aware that they're both whispering nonsensical things to each other now, voices unnaturally high pitched, and they're making quite a scene. For once she doesn't care about appearances.
"You were so brave, Su," he says against her hair and she cries even harder, holding him closer and kissing his face again.
But in Narnia no one thinks any the worse of you for that.
--
After awhile they pull themselves together, and then she and Lucy watch as Aslan taps Peter's shoulders with the flat of his sword. "Rise up, Sir Peter Wolf's-Bane," he says, and Peter turns to his sisters, smiling.
Susan smiles; her brother is a Knight now.
He'd always been one to her.
--
Susan uses the light of the fire to examine the deep gash on Peter's forehead and the places on his forearms that the wolf had managed to attack. He wraps her cut hands in bandages and winces at the sight of her gnashed ankle.
As they head off to their seperate tents later that night, she kisses his forehead the way her mother used to kiss her bruises and scrapes. He kisses the palm of her hand where her cuts used to be and begins to walk away from her when he stops and turns back.
"Don't wander off alright?" he says. "I can't lose you, too."
It's his indirect way of talking about Edmund, but she knows he doesn't want to press the conversation further. She hopes that they find him soon.
Susan nods and begins to limp away to her tent, but then she stops as well. She calls out his name and he turns around, and his eyes shine at her even in the darkness. When she speaks, her voice is quiet but still carries across the night. "Thank you."
Peter grins.
--
He kisses her so she knows that he'll always keep her safe.
--
Read the next chapter here! ♥
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