So this is yonder...

[grrr_bored]

I'm losing it. My memories of the Air Force. 15 years of it and it's suddenly starting to fade now, less than a week after my 17th birthday. Or maybe not suddenly, there's a good chance it's been happening gradually and I'm only now acknowledging it. It's not the memories that are fading, so much as it's the feelings. I remember the feelings of...I

Comments

[kazuo_is_death]

Could be worse. You don't have any regret or personal failures to make up for. It's all natural and out of your control.

If you need to break down for fifteen minutes just to get the thoughts to the forefront and then out, do it, I say. Don't make a habit out of it, but don't deny yourself any sort of "pointless" emotional release just because you know better. That's what I think, anyway, for what it's worth.

[grrr_bored]

Aaah, but you weren't raised in the military...we don't have time for pointless.

I'm becoming used to having the time now though, and am (obviously) taking advantage of it on occasion.

[kazuo_is_death]

Nah, but I grew up poor. Poor as hell. I moved around like you did, but not quite as much.

And, I've just recently made the transition from busy and objective filled to "pointless", full-time.

Both situations require the ability to deal with the basic truths of having a ridiculously different lifestyle than what you're accustomed to, or *want*... and in both, that Old Way of living starts slipping away for good.

You need to make time for pointless introspection, now, and accept that while it doesn't innately have ANY constructive value, it serves as a release system. A little bit of emo prevents me from getting too ambitious and freaking out about how different things are now.