Damaged, Chapter 5
Title: Damaged
Author: Azriel, groffiction
Rating: NC17 All the friggin’ way
Pairing: Threesome or Triad between Adam, Tommy, and Bill Kaulitz from Tokio Hotel
Summary: For full Summary refer to Chapter One. One week passes for Bill… and due to the encouraging words from Tom, Adam, and Tommy, he goes out and sings his heart out at one concert.
Disclaimer: Don’t own anyone you recognize. I own the plot… and anyone you DON’T recognize. Please don’t sue or twitter!
Warnings/Notes: Title was going to be Black Widow, but then I ‘discovered’ the song Damaged by Assemblage 23 and fell in love with it. This song fits the story more than Black Widow ever could. As for warnings, severe angst, attempted suicide in a variety of forms, bloodplay, drama, sex, cutting, and light character torture and death (not the triad). Past rape, torture, mental and physical abuse. This fic WILL make you cry, possibly scream, and die of orgasm induced torture. It does have a good ending. I will tell you that. =D
Chapter 5: World Behind My Wall
~It’s raining today, the blinds are shut.
It’s always the same.
I tried all the games that they play,
but they made me insane.
Life on TV it’s random,
it means nothing to me.
I’m writing down what I cannot see
wanna wake up in a dream.~
Adam waited patiently outside the dressing room as Bill, Tom, and the others got ready for one hell of a concert. Tommy smiled slightly at his side, squeezing Adam’s hand… offering as much reassurance and comfort to his dominant that he could. It wasn’t so easy for Adam to relax however.
It had been one solid week since Tom’s rescue, and the dominant wasn’t so sure if Bill was ready for this. A concert… at a time of recovery like this. But maybe Bill was much like Adam in the fact that out there on the stage, pouring out one’s heart… is the best medicine one could get.
But he still didn’t like it that there might be some more threats out there. Cass and his hellhounds had tortured the surviving kidnapper into talking. But unfortunately, there weren’t many leads… only the fact that there might still be others out there who want Bill tamed… tortured… and broken.
Adam was proud of the little submissive. Bill was taking giant leaps to recovery, even though he was still scared of dark places. He had to be continuously with someone, lest he start doubting and regretting his existence. It would be a long road coming before the submissive got control over his pain… and his fear of living.
This past week, Adam and Tommy had taken turns staying with the submissive to get him used to their comforting presence. Bill seemed to open up more to Tommy and his own brother than Adam, but the dominant understood why that was the case.
Adam, being a Demonic Dominant, had a threatening presence to all that opposed him. And though he had been very gentle to the submissive, Bill still spotted him as a possible threat. Only time with Bill would help dissolve the ice around their budding relationship.
Adam was just thankful for Tommy’s support. Without his other submissive’s help, Adam wouldn’t have a chance with Bill.
He still couldn’t believe that Bill’s twin was totally ok with his and Tommy’s presence in Bill’s life. But he was thankful for that. And Tom didn’t seem to have an issue letting them spend so much time with Bill either. It was as if the twin knew that Bill needed them.
“Do you think it’s a good idea to let him be by himself out there on the stage tonight?” Tommy asked his mate gently, tilting his head a bit to show his submission.
Adam, though edgy, smiled at his lover to placate his worry. “I would love to be out there with him, Tommy, but would that be a good thing for him? No. He would… despise me. Now… he is uncomfortable with me being around. But if I were to smother him like that… not allowing him freedom that he desperately yearns for… he would grow to hate me. So… I will do this for him.”
Tommy nodded slowly with understanding. That’s one thing that Adam loved about his lover… Tommy was always understanding, despite any strange or difficult situation. Adam leaned in and gave his lover a gentle kiss on the lips.
Tommy gave into the kiss with a small smile before he murmured against Adam’s full lips, “They are almost ready.”
“I know.” Adam murmured, not pulling away. Bill would have to deal with being a part of a triad soon enough.
He would have to get used to seeing something like this every day without getting jealous. Adam was just happy that Tommy wasn’t having jealous issues with having his attention focused so much on Bill.
Bill was walking out with his twin when he spotted Adam and Tommy kissing gently. He blinked slightly. Woa now. He had heard all of the rumors surrounding the two… hell Adommy fans were everywhere. But he had no idea that it was… real.
He felt a bit of warmth in his chest from seeing them together like that… and also felt a bit of sadness. He wondered if he’d ever have someone to treat him so nicely. Adam was being so gentle with Tommy… and it was difficult to watch without wanting the same thing Tommy was getting.
Mentally giving himself a shake, Bill waited until his brother left to go to the backstage room. Then he walked over to the duo and put his hands on his hips. “Guys… if you wanna smooch, fine… but do it out of my sight unless you want to share.”
He blushed slightly, realizing what he’d just blurted out and feeling the heat rise on his cheeks.
~Oh, oh.
They’re telling me it’s beautiful.
I believe them, but will I ever know
the world behind my wall.
Oh, oh.
The sun will shine like never before.
One day I will be ready to go,
see the world behind my wall.~
Adam turned to him and slowly smiled sexily. He looked Bill up and down and murmured softly, “I might just take you up on that offer.”
He reached out and touched Bill’s lips with his fingertips. Bill blushed even more and instinctively licked his lips, not taking his eyes off of the dominant. Tommy smirked slightly and nuzzled Adam’s neck. Adam leaned into Bill’s personal space and whispered huskily against the submissive’s ear, “At this point I might ravish you… but you have a performance. So… I will take my kiss after the show.”
Bill’s eyes went wide and he shivered with want and desire. But then he turned to Tommy with a scowl as Adam left the area. “You… you will let him do that to me?”
Tommy arched an eyebrow and reached out to tug on Bill’s hair sprayed fringe. “Baby... there’s one thing you have to realize with Adam. He’s only sharing because you make US complete.”
Bill arched a delicate eyebrow in confusion before he sighed and muttered, “I don’t understand.”
Tommy leaned in and kissed Bill on the cheek. “Go out there and fuckin’ shine. Worry about US later.”
Bill slowly smiled and nodded, taking the encouraging compliment and advice.
Bill went out on stage with his twin and his friends at his side. He put on a shaky grin as the fans screamed out his name at the top of their lungs. He took a deep breath, feeling tears come to his eyes and mentally willed them away.
His fans needed him… just as much as he needed the crowd. And Bill was going to pour his heart out to them, and find peace that had alluded him thus far. He took his position at the front of the stage, centering himself and listening to the chants of the crowd.
He gave the crowd a grin one more time before he took the microphone and lifted his head to the sky.
~Trains in the sky are travelling
trough fragments of time.
They’re taking me to parts of my mind
that no one can find.
I’m ready to fall.
I’m ready to crawl on my knees to know it all.
I’m ready to heal.
I’m ready to feel.~
The song started and he sang like he’d never before. His heart in his smile, in his voice, he sung to the fans, to his friends, to all of those who supported him. Each lyric rolled off of his tongue in emotional waves, and tears once again collected at his eyes.
Belting out each phrase, he closed his eyes and found his strength… his resolve… to live.
To win over his trials.
To escape his fate.
To conquer his pain.
Adam and Tommy watched with Cass and the other hellhounds from backstage. They’d be ready to take action if anything went wrong. And everyone hoped that nothing would go wrong. Tommy sighed softly and rested his head on Adam’s shoulder, feeling like going out there on stage and hugging Bill.
Adam knew how his lover felt, for he felt much the same way.
But they just sat, watched, and waited.
When Bill got done with the first song, the crowd cheered so loud that it was hard to hear himself speak even with the ear plugs in. He flashed a more confident grin and started on the next song, World Behind My Wall.
Cameras flashed, and tears finally escaped his eyes, marring just a bit of his black eyeliner. But he didn’t care. Bill belted out his love… his resolve… and his defiance.
Strength gave him clarity. Love gave him closure. And singing gave him relief.
He wasn’t going to fall into the pit again. He wasn’t going to despair anymore. And he certainly wasn’t going to huddle in the dark, scared anymore.
He was his own person… reborn against the tides of fate. And fuck the assholes who had made his life hell. Fuck those who had done him harm. And screw those who wanted him to fall. He wouldn’t fall. And he’d make his life his own.
Breathing in deeply, Bill belted out another flush of lyrics, letting the music flow through him… calming his body… easing the tension from his mind. He closed his eyes and gave into the power of love… and the power of music… and the power of his fans.
~Oh, oh.
They’re telling me it’s beautiful.
I believe them, but will I ever know
the world behind my wall.
Oh, oh.
The sun will shine like never before.
One day I will be ready to go
see the world behind my wall.
See the world behind my wall~
After the show, Bill was engulfed by his band, by his brother, and by his new friends. Tommy laughed and ruffled Bill’s stiff hair sprayed fringe. “That was fuckin’ awesome, Bill!”
Bill found himself smiling and returning his laughter. Soon he found himself in the arms of Adam. He looked up into Adam’s eyes and saw nothing but pride… happiness… and a gentleness he had never seen in the guy thus far. It gave Bill hope… and it also gave him a deep set elation.
The after party was a noisy affair with several fans and friends of the band. Finally getting away from the autographs and reporters, Bill sighed in the back seat of the limo. Adam sat in front of him, and Tommy was next to Adam. Tom had decided to go in another limo because he and the band wanted to go party for a bit.
Bill wanted to go back to the hotel and just veg for a bit… maybe soak in a hot tub.
He blushed at the thought that maybe Adam or Tommy would want to join him… naked.
Hell, where did that thought come from? Bill looked away, avoiding their all too knowing eyes. Why did they seem like they knew what he was thinking?
Adam reached over and cupped Bill’s cheek. “I still have that kiss to claim, don’t I?”
Bill blushed even redder and tried to mumble, “You don’t have to.”
“Honey, just go with it.” Tommy suggested with an impish grin. “You set yourself up for it.”
Bill gave Tommy a look that could kill before Adam said, “One kiss. If you want more… you’ll have to ask me.”
Bill blinked. What the hell? Was Adam so arrogant that he thought he was going to beg him for a kiss? But then he shrugged, might as well. If Adam fuckin’ Lambert wanted to kiss him… who was he to care? Besides… Adam was sort of a role model to Bill… so why not?
Before he could say anything, Adam was on him, his mouth covering his. It was so fast… Bill hadn’t even seen him move. But then his thoughts turned to mush as Adam tongue fucked him deeply, unrestrained, and oh so possessively.
Bill let out a gasping moan, closing his eyes in pleasure. It felt so good… felt so right. Adam tasted divine… like ambrosia nectar and he couldn’t seem to get enough of it. The kiss was long and passionate, and when Bill finally submitted, flicking his own tongue against Adam’ s with erotic intentions, the dominant Demonic growled lowly.
Then he felt hands… trail down his body to his hardening groin. And then hands were on his cock… inside his pants. He let out a cry as sure hands pumped him gently, but firmly. He clutched Adam’s shoulders, trying hard not to bite his tongue off as pleasure ripped through him.
And then he felt a wet hot mouth close over him and he couldn’t help but scream into Adam’s mouth. It was then that he numbly realized that Tommy was sucking him off. He made a slight move of protest, but then Adam had his tongue down his throat, and Tommy was sucking him hard.
And still the kiss lasted. Finally, when he was about to pass out, Adam released Bill’s mouth to breathe. Bill gasped in moaning breaths of air, his hips arching uselessly. Adam trailed his mouth down Bill’s neck to the gaping area of his clothes. How had his shirt come undone? Bill thought before all thought seized.
Adam found one pert nipple and he attacked it with an ironic mixture of gentleness and viciousness. Not being able to resist the temptation, Bill let out a scream of pleasure, opening is legs more for Tommy’s access. And he found himself clutching Adam’s shoulders, trying to hang on for dear life.
Tommy enjoyed the uniqueness that was Bill, and sucked him with a practiced tongue, licking around the hard swollen head. He lapped up Bill’s precum and found himself getting off on the sounds Bill was making.
Bill reached up with shaking hands to comb his fingers through Adam’s ebony locks, shivering with want and need. But soon his climax was almost there. But he couldn’t get to it. He let out a frustrated scream, “Adam please!!!!”
“Please what?” Adam smirked against his pale skin.
Bill gasped out brokenly, “Make me cum… please.”
Adam chuckled darkly and switched places with Tommy. Tommy started kissing Bill’s mouth with languid strokes of his tongue. It was so erotic, tasting himself on Tommy. And once again all thought seized. Adam engulfed Bill’s thick cock, swirling his tongue around the sensitive head.
Bill shrieked, throwing his head back on the seat of the limo, thanking God that there was tinted glass and that the driver wasn’t seeing this. He gasped one more time as Adam sucked once… twice… and finally Bill nearly blacked out.
He arched his back and came deeply in Adam’s hungry mouth. Pleasure so intense wracked through Bill as Adam sucked him down… devouring each drop of his essence.
A few minutes passed, and Bill found himself snuggled between both Adam and Tommy. How they had all managed to stay altogether on the seat, Bill had no clue. He was still coming down from the strongest high he’d ever experienced.
Adam was gently holding him protectively against his chest so Bill could hear his heartbeat. Tommy was stroking his hair and murmuring soft whispers into his ear.
Finally Bill asked, “Why?”
Adam answered softly, “We wanted to give something to you Bill. You deserve it.”
And then blackness entered Bill’s vision… and for once he wasn’t scared about that.
~I’m ready to fall.
I’m ready to crawl on my knees to know it all.
I’m ready to heal.
I’m ready to feel.
Take me there!
Oh, oh.
Take me there!
Take me there!
Oh, oh.
They’re telling me it’s beautiful.
I believe them, but will I ever know
the world behind my wall.~
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