(no subject)
Title: Broken for life chapters 3 & 4
Author: superboyclex
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Greg/Gil Billy/Nick
Genre: WIP, Angst, first time,
Summary: Grissom tries to help Greg cope with his memories and Billy expresses how he feels about Nick
Authors note: Fic takes place during season 5 of CSI with bits taken from the movie “True Vinyl” All mistakes are my own.
Disclaimer: CSI and all its characters sadly are not mine belonging only to CBS, Jerry and Anthony.
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Chapter Three
It’d been two weeks and still Greg showed no signs of awaking. Everyone from night shift had come and gone some leaving behind an occasion flower and cards. It was on a Thursday night after Nick’s shift that he and Billy had gone to visit Greg. One minute he was still and the next he miraculously began to awaken from his coma.
“Greg?”
The blonde squeezed his hand again with a small twitch of his head. His eyes seemed to flutter momentarily and his mouth opened for a deep intake of air that was blocked by the tube down his throat. He was trying to breath on his own and… and he needed to call a doctor.
Nick frantically pushed the call button for a nurse, as Billy ran into the hall flagging down any nurse or doctor he saw. When Greg tried for another breath of air he decide on shouting. Billy was pointing the doctor towards them.
“He’s waking up, I can see him trying to breath on his own!”
The doctor was peeling back the tape. “There’s no easy way to do this because he should actually be fully away to remove the air tube.”
“So, um come on man, what are you gonna do?” Nick asked having been pushed aside to allow access.
“I’m just going to have to take it out fast. We don’t need him to panic because the machine’s breathing for him. Ok and…”
Nick saw the tube pulled out and away. Greg started a small coughing fit, as he seemed to fully awaken.
“Mr. Sanders,” The doctor began “How do you feel?” A nurse walked up from the foot of the bed to check over his vitals.
Greg looked dazed for a moment. “Where… where am I?” His throat was dry and he wanted some water. “My head hurts.” He went to move his body and found that also hurt.
“You’re at the Las Vegas Hospital, you were in an accident. You’ve been in a coma for a little over two weeks.” The man informed. He gently opened Greg’s eyes further to flash a small penlight checking his pupil response. “Can you lift your arms for me, yeah just go slowly.” He pressed along Greg’s ribs. “You seem to be healing nicely, the swellings at a minimum and your bruises are just about gone.” He wrote a few notes on his clipboard. “I think if everything goes well tonight and you feel up to it you can leave tomorrow.”
The doctor and the nurse left quietly shutting the door behind them.
“Can I have some water?” Greg asked with a dry mouth.
Nick turned to the sink off to the side pulling a paper cup from its dispenser filling it half way. When he helped Greg with the cup his friend looked up at him a small smile on his face.
“Hey Nick.” His mouth felt so much better. “It’s good to see you.”
“We’re glad you’re awake.” Nick patted his arm. “I’m going to make a short phone call.”
Greg looked around the room at the word ‘we’. He didn’t find his fellow CSIs but he did find his brother.
“Billy I… come here.”
His twin looked almost in tears wrapping his arms around his shoulders. He sighed nervously afraid that if he were to close his eyes Greg would still be in a coma.
“Billy, hey it’s ok don’t cry.”
“I’d thought I lost you Greg. Nick and everyone, we thought you’d never wake up.”
Nick finished the call slipping the phone into his pocket. “Everyone’s on the way.”
Billy stayed close to Greg’s side smiling like an idiot and Greg just returned the smile ten fold.
“What happened?” Greg asked now serious.
“What do you remember?” Nick asked.
“Frank, my father he said he wanted to kill me and that I wouldn’t be able to run away this time.”
“Runaway? Is that why you were driving?”
Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of Cathy from down the hall. She was yelling at an orderly about coming to see Greg. After a loud thud and some other voices Catherine, Grissom, Warrick and Sara entered the room.
“Greg, hi sweetie.” Catherine had a large bag she held up. “Change of clothes. I used your spare key. Hope you don’t mind.”
Greg shook his head, and then Warrick and him bumped fists. “What up G, how ya feeling?”
“Well I’ve been better. I’m sorta’ tired and my ass is killing me.” Warrick laughed but Greg was drawn to another person, that person being his boss.
“What are you doing standing over there by yourself, I want a hug.” He reached out and Gil didn’t hesitate.
Nick saw the way Greg’s face lit up as Grissom approached him leaning down to give him his hug. At Grissom’s first attempt to pull back Greg just held on longer.
“You were there, after they pulled me out.”
Gil stayed standing by Greg his lips and brow pursed in confusion.
“I saw you just before I blacked out. You were beside me like with the explosion in the lab.”
Gil swallowed the lump in his throat. Greg probably thought he’s gone to the hospital with him, but it had been Catherine and Sara instead.
Speaking of Sara, when Greg felt a tug at his foot he looked to the foot of his bed to see her smiling.
“I missed you Greggo.”
“See, can’t get enough of me can you.”
Gil relaxed as he saw the old Greg Sanders returning. Well along with a yawn.
“Come on everyone out, he needs to rest.” Gil stated.
“You know what the most sucky part is?” Greg yawned again. “I’ve been sleeping and now that I’m awake I can’t keep my eyes open. Sorry guys.”
Catherine kissed his cheek. “It’s ok, you’ve been through a lot it’s probably more the meds talking than you actually being tired, so enjoy it while you can.”
Greg smiled his eyed starting to droop. He waved to Billy seeing him staying close to Nick and then Grissom was just standing in the doorway.
“Hey, do you think you could stay?” Greg asked.
Gil looked out to where everyone else walked down the hall. “I should probably go.”
“Please stay with me.”
Greg refused to fall asleep until Grissom agreed to stay. Turning back into the room he shut the door coming to sit in the chair beside the younger man.
“Thank you.” Greg whispered as he drifted under.
Gil sat there watching over Greg. It took him a couple minutes to finally notice that Greg’s arm fell over the side of the bed resting over his own. He was tempted to wake Greg just to hear him talking. Watching him like this was too much like seeing him on the stretcher not breathing. But yet here he was breathing on his own and very much alive. The thing that Gil didn’t understand though was why Greg wanted him to stay with him when Catherine or Nick seemed the better choice?
(The next day)
Greg was excited about getting to leave. The hospital was like an unwanted home and he didn’t want to see these walls anymore. After the doctor ranted over his taking it easy he ripped off his prescription slips passing them to him. Billy and Nick were there to drive him home. He’d been offered a wheelchair but refused to sit in the thing. He wanted to move around freely without the help from his friend and brother. At the front doors Greg was at least grateful for Nick driving his truck and not the Tahoe. He knew that he’d have to get over that fear once he was back to work.
The drive to his own place was filled with chatter mostly on his and Billy’s half, Nick seeming to keep quiet lost in his own thoughts. At his own request they stopped to pick up some take out from his favorite Chinese Restaurant bringing it home. After they ate he wanted a long hot shower. That would be his heaven.
“You need any help?” Billy asked standing outside the bathroom.
“Um, no, I think I’ve got it under control.” Hell who was he kidding he could barely lift his arms over his head to remove his shirt. “Shit.”
“Hey bro, let me help.”
His brother stepped in grabbing the hem of his blue t-shirt. “Ok, try to pull your arm through the sleeve, ok the other.” The shirt slipped over his head freely. “Now your jeans.” After Greg unbuttoned the clasp and pulled down his zipper, Billy slid the jeans and boxers down. Holding onto his brother’s shoulders Greg stepped out of the two items and lastly his socks.
“Ok, think you can manage the rest?” He turned on the shower adjusting the temperature.
Greg nodded pulling the shower liner aside stepping under the spray of hot water. “God this feels so good.”
Billy laughed at the comment. He would imagine so after being stuck in that hospital bed with no shower accept for the occasional dampened cloth.
“I’ll be out here with Nick, so call one of us if you need something.” He heard what sounded like a yeah, but Greg could have been commenting on the shower again.
Nick saw Billy return from the bathroom. “He alright in there?”
“Yeah, just needed some help getting out of his clothes.”
“You know you can stay here with him now.” He was fumbling through a magazine left on the counter.
“What are you trying to say?” Billy walked up behind him looking over his shoulder at the magazine. “You want me out that bad?”
Nick felt the man’s hand on his back. Why did he have to do that? It’s not like he didn’t want Billy around he just thought Greg needed to have his brother there with him.
“No, that’s not what I mean. I just think Greg should have someone here to watch over him and well, you being his brother and all it just seemed expected.”
“I’m just playing, don’t get defensive.” He began to rub his hand up and down Nick’s back.
Nick froze at the touch. Why now? After that night when Billy had held his hand and had given him that hug the both of them had gone with no incidents like that again and now here he was repeating those actions.
“Billy…”
His hand continued to stroke lower on Nicks back. “Everything will be fine now Nick, just relax.”
“What are you doing?” Nick felt Billy’s body press close to his own. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“Just relax Nick, I’m not going to bite. You’re just so tense.” Billy began to knead his fingers into the muscles of Nick’s lower back sliding his hand up repeating the action on his shoulders.
Oh that felt so nice Nick just wanted to let out a sigh. His head fell forward with the pressure from Billy’s hand. His hips were pushed into the counter as he felt something hard press into his ass.
“Oh god…”
“That feel good Nick?”
Yes god yes, but what was he doing? He had to pull himself together. He wanted Greg not his brother right?
“Billy you have to stop, or I’ll…” I’ll come in my pants Nick thought.
Billy hooked the fingers of his free hand into the loops of the CSI’s pants. “You’ll what?”
The words were whispered in his ear much like that night at his place. And shit Billy was practically humping his hip.
“What about Greg?” Nick wished he could manage a full sentence that consisted of more than a few words.
Billy was talking to him but he couldn’t make out the words, the tickle of his breath too much of a distraction. He went to turn his face away and saw Greg leaning against the bathroom’s doorframe.
“Greg, when did you finish up?” He pushed at Billy frantic to get distance between the two of them.
“Hey don’t stop on my account.” Greg was smiling a note of something hidden beneath it. He wasn’t sure what it was but he knew for sure that it wasn’t anger. He looked to his brother then back to Nick amused.
“What? NO, this is not what you think.” Nick ran over to Greg pointing back to Billy. “He I mean we just…” He didn’t know what to say.
“It’s ok Nick. Don’t panic, I’m not going to kill you for being attracted to my brother.”
Attracted to Billy? No he liked someone just fine but it was supposed to be Greg.
“Greg, I do not like your brother that way.” He saw Billy grinning from in the kitchen. That bastard!
“Could have fooled me Nicky. Hey can you help me with my clothes?” Greg was walking towards his room only in a towel. Billy followed on his heels practically. Greg chose a simple cream-colored button down shirt with his regular blue jeans.
“Can you grab me a pair of socks from that basket?” Greg asked dropping his towel. Nick went to avert his eyes glad that Billy had stepped in to help Greg into the clothes. He tossed the socks at his friend who was now sitting on the bed with his twin at his side arm around his waist.
“Greg I need to talk to you.” He paused. “In private.”
Greg smiled at his brother nodding for him to leave for a few minutes. Leaning down Billy pressed his mouth to Greg’s for a kiss and not just a short peck on the lips, but it wasn’t any deep passionate one either.
Billy walked by him shutting the bedroom door.
“Greg what the fuck was that?”
“What, the kiss?” Greg stood from the bed. “We’ve always done that. It’s not what you’re thinking. There’s no meaning behind it. Just a way we say we love each other.”
“Greg, I have brother sand sisters but we never…”
“I just told you it means nothing sexual. Come on Nick what’s wrong, you’re acting weird.”
Nick yet again found himself at a loss of words. This afternoon just kept getting more and more weird by the minute.
“Nick.” Greg was standing in front of him now hands on his shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
Could he really tell him? Tell Greg how he felt about him, how he’s dreamt of his arms around him night after night?
He opted for a semi truth. “You know when you were in the hospital it really took a lot out of me seeing you like that in the bed. I had so many things running through my mind, would you wake up, what was going on inside your mind, could you hear us? I realized something as you laid sleeping.”
Greg looked into Nick’s eyes. “Hey it’s ok. You can tell me anything Nicky, you know that.”
Nick’s heart felt like it might jump into his throat at any moment. His palms were sweaty and he felt light headed.
“G, you know I care for you more than anyone and that I’d anything for you right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well what I’m trying to say is…”
Greg waited for the man to speak but all he got was an armful of Texan hugging him like there was no tomorrow.
“Nick what’s gotten into you?”
Nick didn’t want to let his friend go. If he could he’d keep him here just like this forever. But he had to pull away.
“So?” Greg asked.
“So…”
“What were you going to tell me?”
“Um…” Nick couldn’t do it so he lied. Well sort of lied. “I just want you to take care of yourself Greg. Don’t be afraid to let others help you and I’ll be there no matter the reason just call me and I’m there.”
Greg was hugging him first this time. “Thanks Nicky, you have no idea how much that means to me.”
Chapter Four
Later that night Nick said his goodbyes and went to head home when Billy stopped him at the door.
“Still have room for me?”
“What are you talking about? I thought we agreed that you’d stay to help Greg.”
“He and I talked and thought it would be better for me to go home with you. Said he had someone who he’d call to help him out.”
Nick couldn’t think of anyone off the top of his head. Catherine maybe? He was pissed off, all this because he saw Billy coming onto him in the kitchen.
“Fine, grab your bag.”
He saw Billy scramble for his backpack yelling for Greg.
“Don’t worry Nick, I’ll be fine. It’s good that Billy goes home with you cause I have everything taken care of here. I won’t be alone.”
Yeah that’s another reason Nick was pissed. Who ever Greg was going to call would get to stay here with his friend while he had to go home with Billy… he didn’t know if he could handle anymore of the twin’s flirting. Damn it all!
“Ready?” Billy asked tugging on his arm.
(At Nick’s)
“Nick, are you mad at me?”
The Texan didn’t answer him just continued picking up random items placing them in different places around his house.
“Nick I’m sorry for how I acted at Greg’s” He reached out stopping Nick. “But I can’t help it.”
“You can’t help it… Billy what are you doing?”
Nick’s anger rose as he looked at the younger man just standing there as if he were Greg. Hell he might as well have been because his body couldn’t seem to tell the difference. He was touching him again this time on his face, running his fingers along his jaw.
“Why do you tease me?” He was backing Billy up to the front door. “Why do you touch me the way you do?” he pushed at Billy’s chest hearing a soft thud when the blonde’s back met the door.
“Nick I…”
“I can’t take it anymore.”
“I’ll stop.” Billy said voice quiet. Nick slid up close to him pressing into him. “No, you won’t.” He leaned down kissing him hard. When Billy opened his mouth Nick slid his tongue between his lips tasting what he tried so hard to deny himself.
“What have you done to me?” Nick sucked on Billy’s lower lip allowing his hands to roam underneath the maroon colored t-shirt to touch warm flesh.
Billy moaned kissing him back wrapping his arms around Nick’s waist. The kisses continued one after the other making their way down his jaw until Nick was sucking on the soft flesh of Billy’s neck.
When Nick flicked his finger over a nipple Billy gasped thrusting against him.
“Oh god.”
Nick pinched the other kissing Billy’s mouth again sucking on his tongue.
“I want to touch you.” Billy said huskily. “He ran his hands down the front of Nick’s jeans cupping the hardness he found. When he received no complaint he continued. Opening the front of his jeans he slipped his hand inside and past the fabric of Nick’s boxers to grasp the hard dick pulling it free.
“Is this ok?” Billy asked his hand still.
“God yes!”
Moving his hand along the shaft Billy squeezed gently getting a moan in response. He fisted Nick speeding up his ministrations as he licked a line from collarbone to jaw. Nick continued to fuck the fist around him grunting under his breath.
Feeling the tightening between his own legs Billy grabbed himself to ease some of the pressure as he moaned against Nick’s neck.
At the feel of Nick’s hand pushing on his shoulder he knew what the man was asking for. Sliding down to his knees Billy looked up onto Nick’s eyes and then to the hard cock before his lips. With a small nudge the dick was pressed to his mouth and he snaked his tongue out licking around the head.
“Oh yes… suck me Billy please.”
Opening, he took just the head of Nick’s cock into his mouth sucking moderately. Nick wanted more pushing Billy into his crotch his left hand in his short spiky hair. He felt more than heard Billy gag around him and it felt so good, the warm mouth sucking him to orgasm. He didn’t care anymore. Didn’t care that it was Greg’s brother instead of Greg himself.
“Oh, fuck!” Billy stabbed at the tip with his tongue small slurping noises coming from between Nick’s legs. He couldn’t get enough of this. His dick ached wanting to be further down Billy’s throat that sinful tongue licking around him.
With both hands now in Billy’s hair Nick shoved his hips harder not allowing Billy to pull away as he fucked that pretty mouth. He knew the man was gagging but didn’t care at the moment. He just wanted to feel the back of his throat closing around his dick.
Taking in as much as he could, Billy opened his throat allowing Nick to guide his head as the large cock disappeared in and out of his mouth. The taste of pre-cum smeared over his tongue with each thrust. With his hands now braced on Nick’s hips he readied himself for Nick’s load.
Feeling his balls tighten Nick fucked Billy’s mouth once more tensing as he came spurt after spurt down the kneeling mans throat. Pulling back Billy swallowed wiping at his mouth.
“I’m sorry.” Nick said pulling Billy up for a kiss. They stayed like that for a minute until Nick was speaking again. “I didn’t mean to be so rough.” He put himself away.
“I didn’t mind. I wasn’t really sure what to do, that being my first time giving head.”
“You’ve never done that before?” Nick asked feeling guilty.
“Um no, I’ve never wanted to until I met you.”
Nick couldn’t help but blush at the words. He hadn’t wanted to either until Greg, and now with Billy. “You did it like you’ve done that kind of thing before. It was great.”
Billy smiled. “I hope I’ll get the chance to do it again.”
“Come to my room?” Nick asked taking Billy’s hand. Once in his bedroom Nick was kissing him slowly this time hands roaming along his body coming to his ass squeezing firmly.
“Lets see what I can do for you.”
Nick pushed Billy back onto his bed pulling off his clothes. Spreading Billy’s legs Nick began to kiss along his inner thigh. Just as he was about to get to Billy’s dick he stopped.
“Turn over onto your hands and knees.”
Billy did as he was told his ass lifted into the air as he laid his chest against the mattress, hands twisted in the sheets.
“What are you going to do?” Billy asked a bit nervous.
“I’m gonna make you feel good Billy.” He felt a nudge between his ass cheeks and something wet lapped at his hole.
“Oh god Nick what are…” He was unable to finish the question as Nick’s wet tongue slid into his ass. Spreading Billy’s ass cheeks further Nick delved in pushing in and out twisting his tongue.
Feeling Billy push back to meet each thrust of his tongue Nick slipped his arm around Billy’s front grasping his cock. As he fisted the hard shaft he pushed his tongue in deeper moving it around wildly.
“Oh… oh please, god Nicky, it feels so good!”
Pulling back Nick licked from Billy’s balls along his crack and back into his wet hole. Speeding up his hand Nick tongue fucked Billy until the man was writhing beneath him coming onto his hand and on the sheets.
They both fell to the mattress breathing hard from exhaustion.
“Holy fuck.” Billy breathed into Nick’s neck. “Will you come shower with me?”
He received a nod in affirmation.
(Grissom’s house)
Gil heard a knock at his door and when he opened and was surprised to see Greg standing there.
“Greg, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted someone to keep me company.”
“Shouldn’t you be resting?” Gil asked.
Greg looked past his boss and then back to him. “Can I come in?”
Opening the door further Gil stepped aside, letting Greg pass. “Why aren’t you with your brother?”
“He’s staying with Nick and honestly I don’t want to sleep anymore. I just end up staring off at something thinking about what happened.”
Gil moved back to his crossword puzzle sitting on the couch.
“Can I sit down?” Greg asked pointing to the couch Gil was sitting on.
“Do what you want.”
Greg sat not on the opposite side, but right beside Gil. He was leaning over with a grin on his face.
“What ya doing?”
He could feel Greg’s body heat as his arm brushed against his when Greg shifted. It was hard not to notice the way the CSI leaned in close to him his breath on his neck.
“Crossword.” Shit his body was betraying him at the feeling of skin on skin.
“You want some help with that?” Greg asked.
Gil jumped at the question. “What?”
“The crossword, do you want some help with it?”
Greg had that seductive grin plastered across his face. He watched the way Greg’s lips moved his tongue coming out to wet his bottom lip.
“What’s a four letter word for ‘hunger for?” Greg asked absorbed in the crossword.
Grissom swallowed returning to the question. “Lust.”
Greg looked up at his remark seeing Grissom’s eyes on the crossword. His boss adjusted his glasses lost in thought over what he assumed was the next word. Little did he know, that Gil could barely think straight about anything at this moment.
“I remember that time at work when everyone was sitting in the break room waiting for an assignment when you walked in asking us why we weren’t working. I made some excuse about smelling chemicals burning.”
Gil was listening as Greg spoke trying to bring up a mental image of that night.
“You called me back asking if what I had in my hands was your crossword.” Greg was laughing now. “I had made an origami crane out of it.”
Gil remembered that very clearly. He’d been rude to Greg about the crane.
“I’m…” How could he put it? “I shouldn’t have done what I did.”
“Is that an apology Grissom?” Greg was in shock.
“Um…” Greg began to speak again and Gil was relieved for that.
“You have no reason to be sorry.”
“I do. I shouldn’t have snapped at you all like I did. And about the crossword, I shouldn’t have been upset about you taking it. I could have just gotten another.” Why did this seem so hard? “You know it’s not my goal in life to always yell at you guys or to snap at you Greg.”
It was nice to hear stuff like this come from his boss’s mouth especially when it was meant as an apology for him.
“That means a lot to me, you saying that. I didn’t expect it.”
Hearing that from Greg hurt deep down inside but he knew the younger man was right. He saw Greg wince as he shifted on the couch.
Greg saw Grissom give him a look asking what was wrong.
“My ribs, they’re still sore.” Sore? They were killing him. He should probably take another dose of his meds. Grissom probably thought he was a big baby. “I think I should take my meds. Can I get some water?”
Gil pointed him towards the kitchen and on his way there Greg looked around the house. Ok, bugs in cases displayed on the walls, a large bookcase filled with assorted books and what looked to be some assorted pottery from an African culture. Grissom had a nice place, expertly organized of course. He was surprised he didn’t find heads in jars like in his office. He got his water downing his pills then returned to the living room.
“Does it hurt bad?” He heard Grissom ask.
“Sometimes. As long as I keep the meds in my system I can survive.” He sat down again further from his boss this time. “I can’t stop thinking about what happened. I hadn’t thought Frank knew where I lived. I didn’t even think he knew where I worked for that matter. You know, the worst part is that I let it happen again.”
Grissom realized that Greg needed to talk about this. He must have kept this inside for a long time afraid to speak of it. “You can tell me if that might help ease the pain.”
“You want to listen to me rant about my childhood?”
Grissom gave him a stern look. “You don’t have to tell me.”
“No, I want to. I think I need too, for my own sake.” Greg took a deep breath closing his eyes as he remembered the past. “We used to have a good family, did things together. My mother was always smiling, but then something happened. When I was a teenager I had dreams, dreams of becoming someone great in science. It was my passion always playing with chem. sets in my room. I knew ever sense I was seven I wanted to do something in science. I’d go around the farm in Olalla Nebraska talking about how I was going to move away and become a chemist. My father thought it was nothing but nonsense. He’d lecture me saying that it was a dream for the pasty-faced and the romantically-challenged.” He took a drink of his water. “Soon after, the lectures turned to beatings. He’s never gone after Billy, just my mother and me. She’d been beaten for trying to protect me. I learned quickly to keep my aspirations to myself. I ended up joining the science club in high school trying my best to keep that little bit of knowledge from my father.”
Grissom watched Greg’s expression darken.
“It didn’t take long before he learned of my in school activity. But that wasn’t what really set him off anyway. On a day he was supposed have been in town about farm equipment I had a friend over. His name was Dorian Jacobs. Frank came home to find Dorian and myself kissing in the barn.”
Gil’s eyebrow shot up at that last part? He didn’t know if that surprised him or not.
“Well let’s just say that Dorian left with a bloodied nose and a nice black eye. As for myself, that was the first of many sexual assaults.”
Jesus, Greg was shaking now and he didn’t know what to do.
“My mom saw the second time and when she tried to stop him he… he killed her. My brother was hiding in the closet the whole time.” He wasn’t just shaking now, he was crying. His hands clenched into fists. “He said there was no way he’d have a fagot for a son and that he’d teach me for humiliating him.”
Gil reached over to Greg placing his hand on his back. He wished for the courage to help Greg, to do something, anything.
“Greg, you can’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong.” The younger man was wiping at his eyes.
“I’m so sorry Griss, I just don’t understand why? What did I ever do?” Gil pulled him into a hug resting his chin in the spiky blonde hair. “It was nothing you did Greg, nothing. Sometimes bad things happen to good people for no reason.”
“It’s not fair.” Greg cried into his shirt.
“You’re right, it’s not.” Gil knew the emotion he felt now far too well. Anger, anger towards Greg’s dead father and towards himself. This man didn’t deserve the burden that was placed on his shoulders. He only wished he could take that away leaving the lighthearted person he’d met five years ago.
“I’m sorry he hurt you again Greg.”
The 29yearold looked up from his chest. “I just want the pain to go away.”
“It will, in time. I don’t think there’s anything I can really say that can make this go away.”
Greg leaned down resting his head in Gil’s lap. “Just being near you helps.” He swung his legs up onto the couch bending his knees. Gil felt Greg take his hand bringing it down around his side falling over his cracked ribs.
“I don’t want to hurt you Greg.”
“You aren’t. Can we just stay here like this?”
Gil creased his lips together running the fingers of his free hand through Greg’s soft spiky hair. “I have to work tonight Greg.”
“I don’t care, I’ll stay until you leave.”
Gil sighed in acceptance. “Sure, you can stay until I get back if you like.”
Greg nodded. “Sorry for ruining you crossword.”
Gil frowned at the apology. “That doesn’t matter Greg, I care more about you than that piece of paper.”
Greg was crying again. He didn’t know what he’d done or said to set him off again? Maybe he was still thinking about the accident. All that he could do was hold Greg, cause he didn’t know how to make anyone happy.
Tbc…
Author: superboyclex
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Greg/Gil Billy/Nick
Genre: WIP, Angst, first time,
Summary: Grissom tries to help Greg cope with his memories and Billy expresses how he feels about Nick
Authors note: Fic takes place during season 5 of CSI with bits taken from the movie “True Vinyl” All mistakes are my own.
Disclaimer: CSI and all its characters sadly are not mine belonging only to CBS, Jerry and Anthony.
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Chapter Three
It’d been two weeks and still Greg showed no signs of awaking. Everyone from night shift had come and gone some leaving behind an occasion flower and cards. It was on a Thursday night after Nick’s shift that he and Billy had gone to visit Greg. One minute he was still and the next he miraculously began to awaken from his coma.
“Greg?”
The blonde squeezed his hand again with a small twitch of his head. His eyes seemed to flutter momentarily and his mouth opened for a deep intake of air that was blocked by the tube down his throat. He was trying to breath on his own and… and he needed to call a doctor.
Nick frantically pushed the call button for a nurse, as Billy ran into the hall flagging down any nurse or doctor he saw. When Greg tried for another breath of air he decide on shouting. Billy was pointing the doctor towards them.
“He’s waking up, I can see him trying to breath on his own!”
The doctor was peeling back the tape. “There’s no easy way to do this because he should actually be fully away to remove the air tube.”
“So, um come on man, what are you gonna do?” Nick asked having been pushed aside to allow access.
“I’m just going to have to take it out fast. We don’t need him to panic because the machine’s breathing for him. Ok and…”
Nick saw the tube pulled out and away. Greg started a small coughing fit, as he seemed to fully awaken.
“Mr. Sanders,” The doctor began “How do you feel?” A nurse walked up from the foot of the bed to check over his vitals.
Greg looked dazed for a moment. “Where… where am I?” His throat was dry and he wanted some water. “My head hurts.” He went to move his body and found that also hurt.
“You’re at the Las Vegas Hospital, you were in an accident. You’ve been in a coma for a little over two weeks.” The man informed. He gently opened Greg’s eyes further to flash a small penlight checking his pupil response. “Can you lift your arms for me, yeah just go slowly.” He pressed along Greg’s ribs. “You seem to be healing nicely, the swellings at a minimum and your bruises are just about gone.” He wrote a few notes on his clipboard. “I think if everything goes well tonight and you feel up to it you can leave tomorrow.”
The doctor and the nurse left quietly shutting the door behind them.
“Can I have some water?” Greg asked with a dry mouth.
Nick turned to the sink off to the side pulling a paper cup from its dispenser filling it half way. When he helped Greg with the cup his friend looked up at him a small smile on his face.
“Hey Nick.” His mouth felt so much better. “It’s good to see you.”
“We’re glad you’re awake.” Nick patted his arm. “I’m going to make a short phone call.”
Greg looked around the room at the word ‘we’. He didn’t find his fellow CSIs but he did find his brother.
“Billy I… come here.”
His twin looked almost in tears wrapping his arms around his shoulders. He sighed nervously afraid that if he were to close his eyes Greg would still be in a coma.
“Billy, hey it’s ok don’t cry.”
“I’d thought I lost you Greg. Nick and everyone, we thought you’d never wake up.”
Nick finished the call slipping the phone into his pocket. “Everyone’s on the way.”
Billy stayed close to Greg’s side smiling like an idiot and Greg just returned the smile ten fold.
“What happened?” Greg asked now serious.
“What do you remember?” Nick asked.
“Frank, my father he said he wanted to kill me and that I wouldn’t be able to run away this time.”
“Runaway? Is that why you were driving?”
Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of Cathy from down the hall. She was yelling at an orderly about coming to see Greg. After a loud thud and some other voices Catherine, Grissom, Warrick and Sara entered the room.
“Greg, hi sweetie.” Catherine had a large bag she held up. “Change of clothes. I used your spare key. Hope you don’t mind.”
Greg shook his head, and then Warrick and him bumped fists. “What up G, how ya feeling?”
“Well I’ve been better. I’m sorta’ tired and my ass is killing me.” Warrick laughed but Greg was drawn to another person, that person being his boss.
“What are you doing standing over there by yourself, I want a hug.” He reached out and Gil didn’t hesitate.
Nick saw the way Greg’s face lit up as Grissom approached him leaning down to give him his hug. At Grissom’s first attempt to pull back Greg just held on longer.
“You were there, after they pulled me out.”
Gil stayed standing by Greg his lips and brow pursed in confusion.
“I saw you just before I blacked out. You were beside me like with the explosion in the lab.”
Gil swallowed the lump in his throat. Greg probably thought he’s gone to the hospital with him, but it had been Catherine and Sara instead.
Speaking of Sara, when Greg felt a tug at his foot he looked to the foot of his bed to see her smiling.
“I missed you Greggo.”
“See, can’t get enough of me can you.”
Gil relaxed as he saw the old Greg Sanders returning. Well along with a yawn.
“Come on everyone out, he needs to rest.” Gil stated.
“You know what the most sucky part is?” Greg yawned again. “I’ve been sleeping and now that I’m awake I can’t keep my eyes open. Sorry guys.”
Catherine kissed his cheek. “It’s ok, you’ve been through a lot it’s probably more the meds talking than you actually being tired, so enjoy it while you can.”
Greg smiled his eyed starting to droop. He waved to Billy seeing him staying close to Nick and then Grissom was just standing in the doorway.
“Hey, do you think you could stay?” Greg asked.
Gil looked out to where everyone else walked down the hall. “I should probably go.”
“Please stay with me.”
Greg refused to fall asleep until Grissom agreed to stay. Turning back into the room he shut the door coming to sit in the chair beside the younger man.
“Thank you.” Greg whispered as he drifted under.
Gil sat there watching over Greg. It took him a couple minutes to finally notice that Greg’s arm fell over the side of the bed resting over his own. He was tempted to wake Greg just to hear him talking. Watching him like this was too much like seeing him on the stretcher not breathing. But yet here he was breathing on his own and very much alive. The thing that Gil didn’t understand though was why Greg wanted him to stay with him when Catherine or Nick seemed the better choice?
(The next day)
Greg was excited about getting to leave. The hospital was like an unwanted home and he didn’t want to see these walls anymore. After the doctor ranted over his taking it easy he ripped off his prescription slips passing them to him. Billy and Nick were there to drive him home. He’d been offered a wheelchair but refused to sit in the thing. He wanted to move around freely without the help from his friend and brother. At the front doors Greg was at least grateful for Nick driving his truck and not the Tahoe. He knew that he’d have to get over that fear once he was back to work.
The drive to his own place was filled with chatter mostly on his and Billy’s half, Nick seeming to keep quiet lost in his own thoughts. At his own request they stopped to pick up some take out from his favorite Chinese Restaurant bringing it home. After they ate he wanted a long hot shower. That would be his heaven.
“You need any help?” Billy asked standing outside the bathroom.
“Um, no, I think I’ve got it under control.” Hell who was he kidding he could barely lift his arms over his head to remove his shirt. “Shit.”
“Hey bro, let me help.”
His brother stepped in grabbing the hem of his blue t-shirt. “Ok, try to pull your arm through the sleeve, ok the other.” The shirt slipped over his head freely. “Now your jeans.” After Greg unbuttoned the clasp and pulled down his zipper, Billy slid the jeans and boxers down. Holding onto his brother’s shoulders Greg stepped out of the two items and lastly his socks.
“Ok, think you can manage the rest?” He turned on the shower adjusting the temperature.
Greg nodded pulling the shower liner aside stepping under the spray of hot water. “God this feels so good.”
Billy laughed at the comment. He would imagine so after being stuck in that hospital bed with no shower accept for the occasional dampened cloth.
“I’ll be out here with Nick, so call one of us if you need something.” He heard what sounded like a yeah, but Greg could have been commenting on the shower again.
Nick saw Billy return from the bathroom. “He alright in there?”
“Yeah, just needed some help getting out of his clothes.”
“You know you can stay here with him now.” He was fumbling through a magazine left on the counter.
“What are you trying to say?” Billy walked up behind him looking over his shoulder at the magazine. “You want me out that bad?”
Nick felt the man’s hand on his back. Why did he have to do that? It’s not like he didn’t want Billy around he just thought Greg needed to have his brother there with him.
“No, that’s not what I mean. I just think Greg should have someone here to watch over him and well, you being his brother and all it just seemed expected.”
“I’m just playing, don’t get defensive.” He began to rub his hand up and down Nick’s back.
Nick froze at the touch. Why now? After that night when Billy had held his hand and had given him that hug the both of them had gone with no incidents like that again and now here he was repeating those actions.
“Billy…”
His hand continued to stroke lower on Nicks back. “Everything will be fine now Nick, just relax.”
“What are you doing?” Nick felt Billy’s body press close to his own. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“Just relax Nick, I’m not going to bite. You’re just so tense.” Billy began to knead his fingers into the muscles of Nick’s lower back sliding his hand up repeating the action on his shoulders.
Oh that felt so nice Nick just wanted to let out a sigh. His head fell forward with the pressure from Billy’s hand. His hips were pushed into the counter as he felt something hard press into his ass.
“Oh god…”
“That feel good Nick?”
Yes god yes, but what was he doing? He had to pull himself together. He wanted Greg not his brother right?
“Billy you have to stop, or I’ll…” I’ll come in my pants Nick thought.
Billy hooked the fingers of his free hand into the loops of the CSI’s pants. “You’ll what?”
The words were whispered in his ear much like that night at his place. And shit Billy was practically humping his hip.
“What about Greg?” Nick wished he could manage a full sentence that consisted of more than a few words.
Billy was talking to him but he couldn’t make out the words, the tickle of his breath too much of a distraction. He went to turn his face away and saw Greg leaning against the bathroom’s doorframe.
“Greg, when did you finish up?” He pushed at Billy frantic to get distance between the two of them.
“Hey don’t stop on my account.” Greg was smiling a note of something hidden beneath it. He wasn’t sure what it was but he knew for sure that it wasn’t anger. He looked to his brother then back to Nick amused.
“What? NO, this is not what you think.” Nick ran over to Greg pointing back to Billy. “He I mean we just…” He didn’t know what to say.
“It’s ok Nick. Don’t panic, I’m not going to kill you for being attracted to my brother.”
Attracted to Billy? No he liked someone just fine but it was supposed to be Greg.
“Greg, I do not like your brother that way.” He saw Billy grinning from in the kitchen. That bastard!
“Could have fooled me Nicky. Hey can you help me with my clothes?” Greg was walking towards his room only in a towel. Billy followed on his heels practically. Greg chose a simple cream-colored button down shirt with his regular blue jeans.
“Can you grab me a pair of socks from that basket?” Greg asked dropping his towel. Nick went to avert his eyes glad that Billy had stepped in to help Greg into the clothes. He tossed the socks at his friend who was now sitting on the bed with his twin at his side arm around his waist.
“Greg I need to talk to you.” He paused. “In private.”
Greg smiled at his brother nodding for him to leave for a few minutes. Leaning down Billy pressed his mouth to Greg’s for a kiss and not just a short peck on the lips, but it wasn’t any deep passionate one either.
Billy walked by him shutting the bedroom door.
“Greg what the fuck was that?”
“What, the kiss?” Greg stood from the bed. “We’ve always done that. It’s not what you’re thinking. There’s no meaning behind it. Just a way we say we love each other.”
“Greg, I have brother sand sisters but we never…”
“I just told you it means nothing sexual. Come on Nick what’s wrong, you’re acting weird.”
Nick yet again found himself at a loss of words. This afternoon just kept getting more and more weird by the minute.
“Nick.” Greg was standing in front of him now hands on his shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
Could he really tell him? Tell Greg how he felt about him, how he’s dreamt of his arms around him night after night?
He opted for a semi truth. “You know when you were in the hospital it really took a lot out of me seeing you like that in the bed. I had so many things running through my mind, would you wake up, what was going on inside your mind, could you hear us? I realized something as you laid sleeping.”
Greg looked into Nick’s eyes. “Hey it’s ok. You can tell me anything Nicky, you know that.”
Nick’s heart felt like it might jump into his throat at any moment. His palms were sweaty and he felt light headed.
“G, you know I care for you more than anyone and that I’d anything for you right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well what I’m trying to say is…”
Greg waited for the man to speak but all he got was an armful of Texan hugging him like there was no tomorrow.
“Nick what’s gotten into you?”
Nick didn’t want to let his friend go. If he could he’d keep him here just like this forever. But he had to pull away.
“So?” Greg asked.
“So…”
“What were you going to tell me?”
“Um…” Nick couldn’t do it so he lied. Well sort of lied. “I just want you to take care of yourself Greg. Don’t be afraid to let others help you and I’ll be there no matter the reason just call me and I’m there.”
Greg was hugging him first this time. “Thanks Nicky, you have no idea how much that means to me.”
Chapter Four
Later that night Nick said his goodbyes and went to head home when Billy stopped him at the door.
“Still have room for me?”
“What are you talking about? I thought we agreed that you’d stay to help Greg.”
“He and I talked and thought it would be better for me to go home with you. Said he had someone who he’d call to help him out.”
Nick couldn’t think of anyone off the top of his head. Catherine maybe? He was pissed off, all this because he saw Billy coming onto him in the kitchen.
“Fine, grab your bag.”
He saw Billy scramble for his backpack yelling for Greg.
“Don’t worry Nick, I’ll be fine. It’s good that Billy goes home with you cause I have everything taken care of here. I won’t be alone.”
Yeah that’s another reason Nick was pissed. Who ever Greg was going to call would get to stay here with his friend while he had to go home with Billy… he didn’t know if he could handle anymore of the twin’s flirting. Damn it all!
“Ready?” Billy asked tugging on his arm.
(At Nick’s)
“Nick, are you mad at me?”
The Texan didn’t answer him just continued picking up random items placing them in different places around his house.
“Nick I’m sorry for how I acted at Greg’s” He reached out stopping Nick. “But I can’t help it.”
“You can’t help it… Billy what are you doing?”
Nick’s anger rose as he looked at the younger man just standing there as if he were Greg. Hell he might as well have been because his body couldn’t seem to tell the difference. He was touching him again this time on his face, running his fingers along his jaw.
“Why do you tease me?” He was backing Billy up to the front door. “Why do you touch me the way you do?” he pushed at Billy’s chest hearing a soft thud when the blonde’s back met the door.
“Nick I…”
“I can’t take it anymore.”
“I’ll stop.” Billy said voice quiet. Nick slid up close to him pressing into him. “No, you won’t.” He leaned down kissing him hard. When Billy opened his mouth Nick slid his tongue between his lips tasting what he tried so hard to deny himself.
“What have you done to me?” Nick sucked on Billy’s lower lip allowing his hands to roam underneath the maroon colored t-shirt to touch warm flesh.
Billy moaned kissing him back wrapping his arms around Nick’s waist. The kisses continued one after the other making their way down his jaw until Nick was sucking on the soft flesh of Billy’s neck.
When Nick flicked his finger over a nipple Billy gasped thrusting against him.
“Oh god.”
Nick pinched the other kissing Billy’s mouth again sucking on his tongue.
“I want to touch you.” Billy said huskily. “He ran his hands down the front of Nick’s jeans cupping the hardness he found. When he received no complaint he continued. Opening the front of his jeans he slipped his hand inside and past the fabric of Nick’s boxers to grasp the hard dick pulling it free.
“Is this ok?” Billy asked his hand still.
“God yes!”
Moving his hand along the shaft Billy squeezed gently getting a moan in response. He fisted Nick speeding up his ministrations as he licked a line from collarbone to jaw. Nick continued to fuck the fist around him grunting under his breath.
Feeling the tightening between his own legs Billy grabbed himself to ease some of the pressure as he moaned against Nick’s neck.
At the feel of Nick’s hand pushing on his shoulder he knew what the man was asking for. Sliding down to his knees Billy looked up onto Nick’s eyes and then to the hard cock before his lips. With a small nudge the dick was pressed to his mouth and he snaked his tongue out licking around the head.
“Oh yes… suck me Billy please.”
Opening, he took just the head of Nick’s cock into his mouth sucking moderately. Nick wanted more pushing Billy into his crotch his left hand in his short spiky hair. He felt more than heard Billy gag around him and it felt so good, the warm mouth sucking him to orgasm. He didn’t care anymore. Didn’t care that it was Greg’s brother instead of Greg himself.
“Oh, fuck!” Billy stabbed at the tip with his tongue small slurping noises coming from between Nick’s legs. He couldn’t get enough of this. His dick ached wanting to be further down Billy’s throat that sinful tongue licking around him.
With both hands now in Billy’s hair Nick shoved his hips harder not allowing Billy to pull away as he fucked that pretty mouth. He knew the man was gagging but didn’t care at the moment. He just wanted to feel the back of his throat closing around his dick.
Taking in as much as he could, Billy opened his throat allowing Nick to guide his head as the large cock disappeared in and out of his mouth. The taste of pre-cum smeared over his tongue with each thrust. With his hands now braced on Nick’s hips he readied himself for Nick’s load.
Feeling his balls tighten Nick fucked Billy’s mouth once more tensing as he came spurt after spurt down the kneeling mans throat. Pulling back Billy swallowed wiping at his mouth.
“I’m sorry.” Nick said pulling Billy up for a kiss. They stayed like that for a minute until Nick was speaking again. “I didn’t mean to be so rough.” He put himself away.
“I didn’t mind. I wasn’t really sure what to do, that being my first time giving head.”
“You’ve never done that before?” Nick asked feeling guilty.
“Um no, I’ve never wanted to until I met you.”
Nick couldn’t help but blush at the words. He hadn’t wanted to either until Greg, and now with Billy. “You did it like you’ve done that kind of thing before. It was great.”
Billy smiled. “I hope I’ll get the chance to do it again.”
“Come to my room?” Nick asked taking Billy’s hand. Once in his bedroom Nick was kissing him slowly this time hands roaming along his body coming to his ass squeezing firmly.
“Lets see what I can do for you.”
Nick pushed Billy back onto his bed pulling off his clothes. Spreading Billy’s legs Nick began to kiss along his inner thigh. Just as he was about to get to Billy’s dick he stopped.
“Turn over onto your hands and knees.”
Billy did as he was told his ass lifted into the air as he laid his chest against the mattress, hands twisted in the sheets.
“What are you going to do?” Billy asked a bit nervous.
“I’m gonna make you feel good Billy.” He felt a nudge between his ass cheeks and something wet lapped at his hole.
“Oh god Nick what are…” He was unable to finish the question as Nick’s wet tongue slid into his ass. Spreading Billy’s ass cheeks further Nick delved in pushing in and out twisting his tongue.
Feeling Billy push back to meet each thrust of his tongue Nick slipped his arm around Billy’s front grasping his cock. As he fisted the hard shaft he pushed his tongue in deeper moving it around wildly.
“Oh… oh please, god Nicky, it feels so good!”
Pulling back Nick licked from Billy’s balls along his crack and back into his wet hole. Speeding up his hand Nick tongue fucked Billy until the man was writhing beneath him coming onto his hand and on the sheets.
They both fell to the mattress breathing hard from exhaustion.
“Holy fuck.” Billy breathed into Nick’s neck. “Will you come shower with me?”
He received a nod in affirmation.
(Grissom’s house)
Gil heard a knock at his door and when he opened and was surprised to see Greg standing there.
“Greg, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted someone to keep me company.”
“Shouldn’t you be resting?” Gil asked.
Greg looked past his boss and then back to him. “Can I come in?”
Opening the door further Gil stepped aside, letting Greg pass. “Why aren’t you with your brother?”
“He’s staying with Nick and honestly I don’t want to sleep anymore. I just end up staring off at something thinking about what happened.”
Gil moved back to his crossword puzzle sitting on the couch.
“Can I sit down?” Greg asked pointing to the couch Gil was sitting on.
“Do what you want.”
Greg sat not on the opposite side, but right beside Gil. He was leaning over with a grin on his face.
“What ya doing?”
He could feel Greg’s body heat as his arm brushed against his when Greg shifted. It was hard not to notice the way the CSI leaned in close to him his breath on his neck.
“Crossword.” Shit his body was betraying him at the feeling of skin on skin.
“You want some help with that?” Greg asked.
Gil jumped at the question. “What?”
“The crossword, do you want some help with it?”
Greg had that seductive grin plastered across his face. He watched the way Greg’s lips moved his tongue coming out to wet his bottom lip.
“What’s a four letter word for ‘hunger for?” Greg asked absorbed in the crossword.
Grissom swallowed returning to the question. “Lust.”
Greg looked up at his remark seeing Grissom’s eyes on the crossword. His boss adjusted his glasses lost in thought over what he assumed was the next word. Little did he know, that Gil could barely think straight about anything at this moment.
“I remember that time at work when everyone was sitting in the break room waiting for an assignment when you walked in asking us why we weren’t working. I made some excuse about smelling chemicals burning.”
Gil was listening as Greg spoke trying to bring up a mental image of that night.
“You called me back asking if what I had in my hands was your crossword.” Greg was laughing now. “I had made an origami crane out of it.”
Gil remembered that very clearly. He’d been rude to Greg about the crane.
“I’m…” How could he put it? “I shouldn’t have done what I did.”
“Is that an apology Grissom?” Greg was in shock.
“Um…” Greg began to speak again and Gil was relieved for that.
“You have no reason to be sorry.”
“I do. I shouldn’t have snapped at you all like I did. And about the crossword, I shouldn’t have been upset about you taking it. I could have just gotten another.” Why did this seem so hard? “You know it’s not my goal in life to always yell at you guys or to snap at you Greg.”
It was nice to hear stuff like this come from his boss’s mouth especially when it was meant as an apology for him.
“That means a lot to me, you saying that. I didn’t expect it.”
Hearing that from Greg hurt deep down inside but he knew the younger man was right. He saw Greg wince as he shifted on the couch.
Greg saw Grissom give him a look asking what was wrong.
“My ribs, they’re still sore.” Sore? They were killing him. He should probably take another dose of his meds. Grissom probably thought he was a big baby. “I think I should take my meds. Can I get some water?”
Gil pointed him towards the kitchen and on his way there Greg looked around the house. Ok, bugs in cases displayed on the walls, a large bookcase filled with assorted books and what looked to be some assorted pottery from an African culture. Grissom had a nice place, expertly organized of course. He was surprised he didn’t find heads in jars like in his office. He got his water downing his pills then returned to the living room.
“Does it hurt bad?” He heard Grissom ask.
“Sometimes. As long as I keep the meds in my system I can survive.” He sat down again further from his boss this time. “I can’t stop thinking about what happened. I hadn’t thought Frank knew where I lived. I didn’t even think he knew where I worked for that matter. You know, the worst part is that I let it happen again.”
Grissom realized that Greg needed to talk about this. He must have kept this inside for a long time afraid to speak of it. “You can tell me if that might help ease the pain.”
“You want to listen to me rant about my childhood?”
Grissom gave him a stern look. “You don’t have to tell me.”
“No, I want to. I think I need too, for my own sake.” Greg took a deep breath closing his eyes as he remembered the past. “We used to have a good family, did things together. My mother was always smiling, but then something happened. When I was a teenager I had dreams, dreams of becoming someone great in science. It was my passion always playing with chem. sets in my room. I knew ever sense I was seven I wanted to do something in science. I’d go around the farm in Olalla Nebraska talking about how I was going to move away and become a chemist. My father thought it was nothing but nonsense. He’d lecture me saying that it was a dream for the pasty-faced and the romantically-challenged.” He took a drink of his water. “Soon after, the lectures turned to beatings. He’s never gone after Billy, just my mother and me. She’d been beaten for trying to protect me. I learned quickly to keep my aspirations to myself. I ended up joining the science club in high school trying my best to keep that little bit of knowledge from my father.”
Grissom watched Greg’s expression darken.
“It didn’t take long before he learned of my in school activity. But that wasn’t what really set him off anyway. On a day he was supposed have been in town about farm equipment I had a friend over. His name was Dorian Jacobs. Frank came home to find Dorian and myself kissing in the barn.”
Gil’s eyebrow shot up at that last part? He didn’t know if that surprised him or not.
“Well let’s just say that Dorian left with a bloodied nose and a nice black eye. As for myself, that was the first of many sexual assaults.”
Jesus, Greg was shaking now and he didn’t know what to do.
“My mom saw the second time and when she tried to stop him he… he killed her. My brother was hiding in the closet the whole time.” He wasn’t just shaking now, he was crying. His hands clenched into fists. “He said there was no way he’d have a fagot for a son and that he’d teach me for humiliating him.”
Gil reached over to Greg placing his hand on his back. He wished for the courage to help Greg, to do something, anything.
“Greg, you can’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong.” The younger man was wiping at his eyes.
“I’m so sorry Griss, I just don’t understand why? What did I ever do?” Gil pulled him into a hug resting his chin in the spiky blonde hair. “It was nothing you did Greg, nothing. Sometimes bad things happen to good people for no reason.”
“It’s not fair.” Greg cried into his shirt.
“You’re right, it’s not.” Gil knew the emotion he felt now far too well. Anger, anger towards Greg’s dead father and towards himself. This man didn’t deserve the burden that was placed on his shoulders. He only wished he could take that away leaving the lighthearted person he’d met five years ago.
“I’m sorry he hurt you again Greg.”
The 29yearold looked up from his chest. “I just want the pain to go away.”
“It will, in time. I don’t think there’s anything I can really say that can make this go away.”
Greg leaned down resting his head in Gil’s lap. “Just being near you helps.” He swung his legs up onto the couch bending his knees. Gil felt Greg take his hand bringing it down around his side falling over his cracked ribs.
“I don’t want to hurt you Greg.”
“You aren’t. Can we just stay here like this?”
Gil creased his lips together running the fingers of his free hand through Greg’s soft spiky hair. “I have to work tonight Greg.”
“I don’t care, I’ll stay until you leave.”
Gil sighed in acceptance. “Sure, you can stay until I get back if you like.”
Greg nodded. “Sorry for ruining you crossword.”
Gil frowned at the apology. “That doesn’t matter Greg, I care more about you than that piece of paper.”
Greg was crying again. He didn’t know what he’d done or said to set him off again? Maybe he was still thinking about the accident. All that he could do was hold Greg, cause he didn’t know how to make anyone happy.
Tbc…