Fic: Upping the Ante (2/6) A continuation of BFF
Title: Upping the Ante (2/6) A continuation of BFF
Author: Dee
Rating: R
Word Count: 1782 (10269 in total)
Pairings: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil, Nick and some team members and an OMC
Warnings: Fluff and (very) AU and some SS bashing
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Beta: jayceepat and podga for their invaluable help in the Americanisation of the fic and their insightful comments - which I may well have ignored! I thank high_striker for his wonderful icons. I am indebted to them all. Any errors are mine.
A/N: This is Part Three of Seven of an ongoing saga. It follows on from BFF which followed on from Facing Up. It will help to be familiar with these as they form part of the whole!
Part Two
Ed had agreed to see Gil, but wanted to discuss it, in depth, with Nick beforehand. This was so he'd be able to get a feel of things from Nick's perspective and support him, if need be, from what he supposed would be a 'I know what I'm doing and can handle Nick' approach from Dr Grissom. So, some four weeks after 'O', Gil and Nick waited outside the therapist's office, both were nervous, though they tried to hide it from each other.
Nick, in keeping with his 'normal' pattern of behaviour, wanted approval from Ed.
Gil, in keeping with his 'normal' behaviour, knew that Nick wanted approval, not only from him, but also from Ed. He only hoped that he could fulfil the role, because, frankly, he wanted to. What he really needed to do was question his own motives in all of this. He actually thought he might need to see someone....Nick's therapist...maybe not...someone independent with whom he could bounce ideas around.
Very shortly into the session, Ed had to issue a silent apology to Dr - please call me Gil - Grissom. He was a very likeable man. There was no doubting his intelligence but he had a good sense of humour and was clearly a sensible man, he plainly did want what was best for Nick - he could see that.
Why had he thought that he would be arrogant? Because Nick had said that he was the most self assured man he'd ever met and Ed had jumped to his very own conclusion that that equalled arrogant. He was not and their conversation - that was all it seemed to be - was searching and honest.
Gil's main concern was for Nick - he had suggested this platonic dating and both of them seemed to be ‘enjoying’ it - his word. But, he was concerned that he was only setting Nick up for a fall - Nick strenuously denied this - but Gil insisted that if all he could ever give Nick was 'friendship', wouldn't this, ultimately, be holding Nick back from seeking and finding a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
Gil was not in any way opposed to a physical relationship, but he was worried about that first step, because once made, Nick would be waiting for more.....and this was what really worried Gil......what if he couldn't pursue it, didn't like it, couldn't do it?
Gil had never intended or expected to spill all these beans at a first 'talk' with Ed, but the relaxed atmosphere and the personable man who was facilitating the session had just led him into it and it all came tumbling out.
Nick was astounded at Gil's revelations, but, at the same time happy that these issues were in the open - he felt he understood more about Gil and what he was thinking and the problems that Gil felt they were facing. Gil had apologised to Nick, there and then, for surprising Nick, but he did say that until he'd started talking about them being 'together' he hadn't realised exactly what it was and what it meant for each of them.
Ed seemed to understand the dilemma facing both men. Nick, sure that he was gay, but with only a very short, traumatic, experience to go by; Gil, not fazed by the homosexuality aspect, but having no previous inclination towards that sexual behaviourism was hesitant to take the step for fear of not liking it and hurting the person he least wanted to hurt in the first place.
Gil was in agreement with everything he'd said but Nick was far more hesitant - because he knew that Ed and Gil were not convinced that one encounter in a shower constituted enough evidence for a definitive 'diagnosis'.
"Look, both of you. I know in my heart of hearts that I. AM. GAY. It doesn't matter to me that my only 'experience' was with a boy called 'Mitch', nearly half my lifetime ago. Since that time I have lived my life in limbo. I know I have major Daddy issues, and you can throw in Momma and my brother and the girls and a babysitter for good measure.
“But, give me some credit here, despite everything, I am a functioning human being, I have a job I love and I now know I do it well, really well. In all of this I have had a realisation that I...want...my boss and when push comes to shove he's not exactly been reticent about 'us'.
“I know that neither of you believe that I could live with just friendship and nothing more. But let me tell you that I can, because HE…” For good measure Nick pointed at Gil, “…. has given me more with just his friendship than ANYONE has EVER given me before...in my life....and if he's never able to physically love me, then that's okay with me because I know, I absolutely know, that he loves me!"
Nick had startled himself with his speech, let alone Ed and Gil, but as realisation of the full impact of his words hit him, he jumped up from his seat and started pacing the room.
Ed thought that keeping his mouth shut was the best advice he could give himself right now, but he keenly observed both men. Nick, his words spoken with passion from his heart, his poor fragile heart, that had been broken so many times and was only just about patched up, was starting to panic. And, Gil, whose calm face was now furrowed in thought as he, very obviously, pored over every single syllable uttered by the young man.
"Nick, you are absolutely right - I do…I do love you." Gil's words were spoken quietly but firmly. Both he and Ed looked at Nick.
"Told you so, man." Nick replied quite evenly and then he grinned, the shit eating grin he'd given the first time to Mitch, all those years ago.
"I have to work through this though.....this is a surprise to me, you know."
"Sure, I know a good therapist if you want one!" His humour diffused the tension on the room.
"I think YOU might be a little more 'therapeutic' than you realise."
"Gentlemen, as much as I would like to continue this session my next patient was due in twenty minutes ago. But, all in all, excellent progress has been made today, especially by you Nick, you can work through this.....as much as it pains me, as a therapist, to say this Dr Gri...Gil, may I point out an adage, favoured by my mother, I'm afraid to admit, but, 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'.
Gil nodded. "I understand, thank you, very much." He stood and shook hands.
The two men left the office and didn't speak again until they were out in the morning sunshine.
"Nick?"
"Mmmm?"
"It's still not going to be easy.....I don't exactly do easy, you know."
"I know Gil, it's just like...well.... it's out in the open now and we can work at it can't we? I meant what I said Gil, I really did...if you can't, or don't want to then it is okay with me. I promise."
"You are....." Gil suddenly found himself choked up by the openness and kind nature of this man, who, out of all the people he'd ever known, had more traumas, more reasons not be kind and yet he'd risen above them all. "You are a very kind and generous man Nicky; let no one tell you otherwise."
“Hey, I’m hungry. Shall we have a cholesterol laden, heart-attack-on-a-plate breakfast and live a little dangerously?”
"You don't have to ask me twice. Lead on MacDuff!"
"Hey, 'Macbeth' - did that mumbo jumbo at school."
Gil groaned. "I'm positive that only a Texan would call Shakespeare 'mumbo jumbo'."
"Wash your mouth out, Dr Grissom; you cannot bad-mouth God's favourite state."
"Favourite, huh? You know this because?"
"It's the first thing the doctor says when you've been birthed....’Welcome to God's favourite state'!"
"Right, delusional from birth then?"
"You wanna go to that New York diner in The Forum at Caesar's, my treat?"
"Lead on....errrr......that would be very nice Nicholas, thank you."
The next few shifts were frenetic and both men worked doubles and nearly triples, so saw little of one another. Gil missed Nick, but was mostly too tired to think too much about where things would go next.
Nick missed Gil and while he was mostly too tired, he did think about his 'declaration' - as he'd taken to calling it. Gil's response still made him weak kneed if he thought about it too much - so he did, because he liked the feeling.
But then, as so often happens, things took a bit of a 'turn'. Everyone was recovering from the heavy workloads, caused in the main by a virus sweeping around the staff and knocking them off their feet for a few days. On the fifth day after it started Nick came in to work and looked, well Warrick said, 'Like something the cat dragged in'!
He was as white as a ghost, shivering, despite a fair number of layers of clothes, and yet he was sweating. To the touch he was hot and then cold but always clammy. He swore he was feeling better than he had and that he was okay to work. Gil looked at him as if he was stark raving mad and was about to shout at him at his stupidity for leaving his bed, when he realised such a display would certainly arouse suspicion. Gil was annoyed that Nick had not called him when he started to feel ill; he should be looking after him, taking care of him.
"Right - assignments." He gave them all the jobs they had to cover. "I'm taking Nick home, he's not fit to work, nor drive. I'll get him home, make sure he's comfortable and then be back here in the lab if anyone wants me.
Sara hoped that she would be next victim of the virus - Gil could then take her home and make her comfortable.
Nick was silent on the journey to his condo and looked to Gil as if he was about to pass out. He didn't, but Gil had to support him to get him into his home. In the bedroom he ordered the sick man to undress and unearthed, at Nick's direction, some old sweat pants and tee shirt and turned to put them on the bed, in time to see Nick grab the waste bands of his pants and underwear and push them to the floor and kick them off his legs.
End of Part Two
Author: Dee
Rating: R
Word Count: 1782 (10269 in total)
Pairings: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil, Nick and some team members and an OMC
Warnings: Fluff and (very) AU and some SS bashing
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Beta: jayceepat and podga for their invaluable help in the Americanisation of the fic and their insightful comments - which I may well have ignored! I thank high_striker for his wonderful icons. I am indebted to them all. Any errors are mine.
A/N: This is Part Three of Seven of an ongoing saga. It follows on from BFF which followed on from Facing Up. It will help to be familiar with these as they form part of the whole!
Part Two
Ed had agreed to see Gil, but wanted to discuss it, in depth, with Nick beforehand. This was so he'd be able to get a feel of things from Nick's perspective and support him, if need be, from what he supposed would be a 'I know what I'm doing and can handle Nick' approach from Dr Grissom. So, some four weeks after 'O', Gil and Nick waited outside the therapist's office, both were nervous, though they tried to hide it from each other.
Nick, in keeping with his 'normal' pattern of behaviour, wanted approval from Ed.
Gil, in keeping with his 'normal' behaviour, knew that Nick wanted approval, not only from him, but also from Ed. He only hoped that he could fulfil the role, because, frankly, he wanted to. What he really needed to do was question his own motives in all of this. He actually thought he might need to see someone....Nick's therapist...maybe not...someone independent with whom he could bounce ideas around.
Very shortly into the session, Ed had to issue a silent apology to Dr - please call me Gil - Grissom. He was a very likeable man. There was no doubting his intelligence but he had a good sense of humour and was clearly a sensible man, he plainly did want what was best for Nick - he could see that.
Why had he thought that he would be arrogant? Because Nick had said that he was the most self assured man he'd ever met and Ed had jumped to his very own conclusion that that equalled arrogant. He was not and their conversation - that was all it seemed to be - was searching and honest.
Gil's main concern was for Nick - he had suggested this platonic dating and both of them seemed to be ‘enjoying’ it - his word. But, he was concerned that he was only setting Nick up for a fall - Nick strenuously denied this - but Gil insisted that if all he could ever give Nick was 'friendship', wouldn't this, ultimately, be holding Nick back from seeking and finding a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
Gil was not in any way opposed to a physical relationship, but he was worried about that first step, because once made, Nick would be waiting for more.....and this was what really worried Gil......what if he couldn't pursue it, didn't like it, couldn't do it?
Gil had never intended or expected to spill all these beans at a first 'talk' with Ed, but the relaxed atmosphere and the personable man who was facilitating the session had just led him into it and it all came tumbling out.
Nick was astounded at Gil's revelations, but, at the same time happy that these issues were in the open - he felt he understood more about Gil and what he was thinking and the problems that Gil felt they were facing. Gil had apologised to Nick, there and then, for surprising Nick, but he did say that until he'd started talking about them being 'together' he hadn't realised exactly what it was and what it meant for each of them.
Ed seemed to understand the dilemma facing both men. Nick, sure that he was gay, but with only a very short, traumatic, experience to go by; Gil, not fazed by the homosexuality aspect, but having no previous inclination towards that sexual behaviourism was hesitant to take the step for fear of not liking it and hurting the person he least wanted to hurt in the first place.
Gil was in agreement with everything he'd said but Nick was far more hesitant - because he knew that Ed and Gil were not convinced that one encounter in a shower constituted enough evidence for a definitive 'diagnosis'.
"Look, both of you. I know in my heart of hearts that I. AM. GAY. It doesn't matter to me that my only 'experience' was with a boy called 'Mitch', nearly half my lifetime ago. Since that time I have lived my life in limbo. I know I have major Daddy issues, and you can throw in Momma and my brother and the girls and a babysitter for good measure.
“But, give me some credit here, despite everything, I am a functioning human being, I have a job I love and I now know I do it well, really well. In all of this I have had a realisation that I...want...my boss and when push comes to shove he's not exactly been reticent about 'us'.
“I know that neither of you believe that I could live with just friendship and nothing more. But let me tell you that I can, because HE…” For good measure Nick pointed at Gil, “…. has given me more with just his friendship than ANYONE has EVER given me before...in my life....and if he's never able to physically love me, then that's okay with me because I know, I absolutely know, that he loves me!"
Nick had startled himself with his speech, let alone Ed and Gil, but as realisation of the full impact of his words hit him, he jumped up from his seat and started pacing the room.
Ed thought that keeping his mouth shut was the best advice he could give himself right now, but he keenly observed both men. Nick, his words spoken with passion from his heart, his poor fragile heart, that had been broken so many times and was only just about patched up, was starting to panic. And, Gil, whose calm face was now furrowed in thought as he, very obviously, pored over every single syllable uttered by the young man.
"Nick, you are absolutely right - I do…I do love you." Gil's words were spoken quietly but firmly. Both he and Ed looked at Nick.
"Told you so, man." Nick replied quite evenly and then he grinned, the shit eating grin he'd given the first time to Mitch, all those years ago.
"I have to work through this though.....this is a surprise to me, you know."
"Sure, I know a good therapist if you want one!" His humour diffused the tension on the room.
"I think YOU might be a little more 'therapeutic' than you realise."
"Gentlemen, as much as I would like to continue this session my next patient was due in twenty minutes ago. But, all in all, excellent progress has been made today, especially by you Nick, you can work through this.....as much as it pains me, as a therapist, to say this Dr Gri...Gil, may I point out an adage, favoured by my mother, I'm afraid to admit, but, 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'.
Gil nodded. "I understand, thank you, very much." He stood and shook hands.
The two men left the office and didn't speak again until they were out in the morning sunshine.
"Nick?"
"Mmmm?"
"It's still not going to be easy.....I don't exactly do easy, you know."
"I know Gil, it's just like...well.... it's out in the open now and we can work at it can't we? I meant what I said Gil, I really did...if you can't, or don't want to then it is okay with me. I promise."
"You are....." Gil suddenly found himself choked up by the openness and kind nature of this man, who, out of all the people he'd ever known, had more traumas, more reasons not be kind and yet he'd risen above them all. "You are a very kind and generous man Nicky; let no one tell you otherwise."
“Hey, I’m hungry. Shall we have a cholesterol laden, heart-attack-on-a-plate breakfast and live a little dangerously?”
"You don't have to ask me twice. Lead on MacDuff!"
"Hey, 'Macbeth' - did that mumbo jumbo at school."
Gil groaned. "I'm positive that only a Texan would call Shakespeare 'mumbo jumbo'."
"Wash your mouth out, Dr Grissom; you cannot bad-mouth God's favourite state."
"Favourite, huh? You know this because?"
"It's the first thing the doctor says when you've been birthed....’Welcome to God's favourite state'!"
"Right, delusional from birth then?"
"You wanna go to that New York diner in The Forum at Caesar's, my treat?"
"Lead on....errrr......that would be very nice Nicholas, thank you."
The next few shifts were frenetic and both men worked doubles and nearly triples, so saw little of one another. Gil missed Nick, but was mostly too tired to think too much about where things would go next.
Nick missed Gil and while he was mostly too tired, he did think about his 'declaration' - as he'd taken to calling it. Gil's response still made him weak kneed if he thought about it too much - so he did, because he liked the feeling.
But then, as so often happens, things took a bit of a 'turn'. Everyone was recovering from the heavy workloads, caused in the main by a virus sweeping around the staff and knocking them off their feet for a few days. On the fifth day after it started Nick came in to work and looked, well Warrick said, 'Like something the cat dragged in'!
He was as white as a ghost, shivering, despite a fair number of layers of clothes, and yet he was sweating. To the touch he was hot and then cold but always clammy. He swore he was feeling better than he had and that he was okay to work. Gil looked at him as if he was stark raving mad and was about to shout at him at his stupidity for leaving his bed, when he realised such a display would certainly arouse suspicion. Gil was annoyed that Nick had not called him when he started to feel ill; he should be looking after him, taking care of him.
"Right - assignments." He gave them all the jobs they had to cover. "I'm taking Nick home, he's not fit to work, nor drive. I'll get him home, make sure he's comfortable and then be back here in the lab if anyone wants me.
Sara hoped that she would be next victim of the virus - Gil could then take her home and make her comfortable.
Nick was silent on the journey to his condo and looked to Gil as if he was about to pass out. He didn't, but Gil had to support him to get him into his home. In the bedroom he ordered the sick man to undress and unearthed, at Nick's direction, some old sweat pants and tee shirt and turned to put them on the bed, in time to see Nick grab the waste bands of his pants and underwear and push them to the floor and kick them off his legs.
End of Part Two