OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING THIS. *hugs you forever* Oh, God, this is so important. SO IMPORTANT. I don't have the brain power to discuss it today, but thank you. And can I please pass this on, on my LJ and to some people who need to see it?
*hugs* It's something that I've been thinking about a lot lately, both as a feminist and as a sister. My sisters are always like, "OMG YOU SHOULD EXERCISE MORE YOU SHOULD STOP EATING JUNK FOOD YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD OMG LOOK AT THIS FLAB ON ME I NEED TO EXERCISE" They practically starve themselves during the day until dinner, they refuse to drink anything but water/diet soda/juice sometimes, and they think that little bit of untoned muscle in their teenage legs is flab when they're only 90-some pounds. And it makes me mad. I'm always between 118-121 lbs., and I'm happy with myself (though I should try to get toned - IS LAZY). So it irks me when they get on my head because I'm eating chips or drinking Pepsi or something. I'm happy with myself, and I'm healthy, and I don't have to please anyone but me. SO GET OFF MY BACK OK. But yeah, I'm passionate about this issue. :/
Srsly, there's that argument: would you rather not worry about weight and live a happy fulfilling life, or obsess over the scale/be skinny and agonized over eating? Idk, sometimes it's like, what exactly do you achieve with being skinny? How exactly does obsession with waistline/thighs make your life better? I mean, really, to be beautiful? For whom? Most people sure as hell prefer a lover with actual curves.
Everyone should just go make a sandwich and eat it tbh.
This is such a timely entry, ahaha. It's funny how, when I talk with my sisters and hear these beautiful women disparage their bodies and literally plan their days and weeks around what they can allow themselves to eat when, that's when I say, "Oh, but you're so much more than what you eat. Why are you calorie counting when you're not unhealthy or overweight or even plump?" And yet, when it's me, when I'm sitting at home and filling out application after application, going to bed hungry is almost an accomplishment. It's as though, somehow, the fact that my hipbones are sharper or my collarbone more clearly defined makes up for every way I consider myself deficient...
Apologies for the tl;dr. ^^; I actually just wanted to say that your thoughts on desire - and the way women are seemingly held accountable simply for having desires - are very much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to write all this.
Yeah, there's certainly that mentality, how we think the denial of food is retribution for what we fail at, and/or protruded bones are the only thing we can excel at. A success, if you will. Success on what, exactly? We don't know. The answers are vague and dismissive.
lol my post is 100 times more tl;dr than your comment, so thank you for reading it and contributing your thoughts. <3 As human beings we all have desires, but the desires of a woman are somehow condemned so much more than the desires of a man. The only desire a woman is encouraged by society to have these days is shopping, which is such a displaced representation of other base desires. :/
You know, I've been having lots of conversations about food with people recently!
On Monday, we covered eating disorders in one of my psych classes and I was forced to stare at sickly-thin people for like an hour. And spent the entire time going DDDD8 It was so horribly uncomfortable. I'm starting to think that I might be too wimpy to be a medical professional but I will persevere. T_T *shakes fist*
But, just the idea that someone is dying - and that they're letting themselves die - is really horrifying to me. Self-harm is always a bit of a trigger-y issue with me and EDs are no different. ._.
Also, the idea of not eating is so sad to me. Food is literally the flavour of life, and if you don't have that then how can life not be dull and grey? We must eat to live, but also so much what defines the human experience is that we also live to eat. We talked about this in your perfume post, but the most powerful memories are triggered by smell, but half of taste is smell. I mean, that's why food always tastes like crap when you're sick.
( ... )
Food is a neverending topic of conversation, rly. :D
I think it's a very important part of being in the medical profession though: to be horrified by the human condition. When you become insensitive to human suffering, I don't think it would be easy to help people anymore. ED is just a form of self-harm, just more quiet and rigorous and... socially acceptable, unfortunately.
Ikr, not-eating is such a horrible idea for a life. The human body is hardwired to hunger constantly, and so without food, it basically falls apart. I don't think anyone can be happy when they're lacking nutrition all the time. No one can be happy when they have to eat what they hate either. :| I mean, food is such a joy, simple but satisfying. It's like, why would you hate joyI've thought about it a lot, and came to the conclusion that even if such mental/social issues are ~first-world problems, it isn't like the one suffering is able to control it. We may think it's our choice to worry about waistlines and diets, but I think we don't realize how much of this
( ... )
This was an interesting read, considering where I'm at now. Though if you asked me and every other girl my age, we'd deny that being skinny is what we feel is right, because we're told that "being beautiful on the inside" is what counts, but really, we all want to be accepted
( ... )
Yeah, I don't think most people want to admit they have a problematic relationship with food or their bodies. Most probably because the mentality is so ingrained, we don't even realize we do.
Not-eating is never a good solution. People might assume it's about the absence of food, but actually when you are not eating, food is all that surrounds you in your life, all you think about, all you see and smell, all that you structure your life around, every waking hour.
Thank you for sharing your story! That's the purpose of this post, a little something for people to think about these issues and contribute what they have experienced. It's amazing that you've recognized the problem and solution in your experience. You are right, we have to learn that it's okay to eat, to enjoy life, and be healthy at the same time. It's about being right, not too little too much because we're grasping at some vague feelings.
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Everyone should just go make a sandwich and eat it tbh.
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I think food/eating is pretty much a relevant matter to everyone. Too much, too little, all that struggle. All started from inside the family.
...Oh haha I really didn't remember it was American thanksgiving at all. /o\ /not American
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Apologies for the tl;dr. ^^; I actually just wanted to say that your thoughts on desire - and the way women are seemingly held accountable simply for having desires - are very much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to write all this.
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lol my post is 100 times more tl;dr than your comment, so thank you for reading it and contributing your thoughts. <3 As human beings we all have desires, but the desires of a woman are somehow condemned so much more than the desires of a man. The only desire a woman is encouraged by society to have these days is shopping, which is such a displaced representation of other base desires. :/
Reply
On Monday, we covered eating disorders in one of my psych classes and I was forced to stare at sickly-thin people for like an hour. And spent the entire time going DDDD8 It was so horribly uncomfortable. I'm starting to think that I might be too wimpy to be a medical professional but I will persevere. T_T *shakes fist*
But, just the idea that someone is dying - and that they're letting themselves die - is really horrifying to me. Self-harm is always a bit of a trigger-y issue with me and EDs are no different. ._.
Also, the idea of not eating is so sad to me. Food is literally the flavour of life, and if you don't have that then how can life not be dull and grey? We must eat to live, but also so much what defines the human experience is that we also live to eat. We talked about this in your perfume post, but the most powerful memories are triggered by smell, but half of taste is smell. I mean, that's why food always tastes like crap when you're sick. ( ... )
Reply
I think it's a very important part of being in the medical profession though: to be horrified by the human condition. When you become insensitive to human suffering, I don't think it would be easy to help people anymore. ED is just a form of self-harm, just more quiet and rigorous and... socially acceptable, unfortunately.
Ikr, not-eating is such a horrible idea for a life. The human body is hardwired to hunger constantly, and so without food, it basically falls apart. I don't think anyone can be happy when they're lacking nutrition all the time. No one can be happy when they have to eat what they hate either. :| I mean, food is such a joy, simple but satisfying. It's like, why would you hate joyI've thought about it a lot, and came to the conclusion that even if such mental/social issues are ~first-world problems, it isn't like the one suffering is able to control it. We may think it's our choice to worry about waistlines and diets, but I think we don't realize how much of this ( ... )
Reply
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Not-eating is never a good solution. People might assume it's about the absence of food, but actually when you are not eating, food is all that surrounds you in your life, all you think about, all you see and smell, all that you structure your life around, every waking hour.
Thank you for sharing your story! That's the purpose of this post, a little something for people to think about these issues and contribute what they have experienced. It's amazing that you've recognized the problem and solution in your experience. You are right, we have to learn that it's okay to eat, to enjoy life, and be healthy at the same time. It's about being right, not too little too much because we're grasping at some vague feelings.
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