Cockwaffles and the Wages Thereof

[greygirlbeast]

So, there's some asshole next door, guy has a lawn the size of a postage stamp. No, seriously. A postage stamp. And he's out there with a motherfucking leaf blower. Now, longtime readers will know that, as far as I'm concerned, no lawn is big enough to warrant the profound laziness, the unnecessary waste of energy derived from fossil fuels, the

Comments

[livia_llewellyn]

In a better world, you would offer him the rake by plunging the tines into his face. And there would be no sirens and no reparations and the only applause would be in the form of leaves falling softly and unhindered to the green-grassed, red-specked ground.

Yes, I have few friends, in case anyone's wondering...

[greygirlbeast]

In a better world, you would offer him the rake by plunging the tines into his face. And there would be no sirens and no reparations and the only applause would be in the form of leaves falling softly and unhindered to the green-grassed, red-specked ground.

Thank you. I needed to smile.

[unknownbinaries]

So, there's some asshole next door, guy has a lawn the size of a postage stamp. No, seriously. A postage stamp. And he's out there with a motherfucking leaf blower.

And they're usually the same asshats that are out there, come Spring, with some kind of chemical treatment to make the fucker grow and become green, when, if they'd put up with some leaves piling up? It's be green on it's own. As if by magic, even!

[greygirlbeast]

hen, if they'd put up with some leaves piling up? It's be green on it's own.

These marvels of simple horticulture are lost on them.

[humglum]

Thing is, these particular people are usually pretty good about how they do things. They have a completely manual push-mower (you know, those old fashioned ones that have 2 wheels and cylindrical shaped area with twisty blades), they keep bees, they compost... And I look outside to see the guy sort of haphazardly waving a leaf-blower around the yard. Other years, he's raked. Maybe he was proving a point about how inefficient the damned things are. To whom, I do not know.

[joshrupp]

" ... so now we have Bill Gates and Ann Coulter, neither of whom existed yesterday."

That was YOU?

That's it, I'm becoming a whale hunter. I'm going to hunt them with bears. RARE bears. That I shoot out of a cannon.

I don't want to do it, but if they're still here tomorrow I'll know that you aren't open to reader comments and that I should buy eighteen leaf blowers and give them to dudes with flannel hats. And I never bluff.

[greygirlbeast]

That was YOU?

They made me.

[sovay]

or...and this is important, so please pay attention...the noise produced by the goddamn things.

You are not alone:

First day of autumn when the trees are turning gold
Visions fly like leaves in front of me
Autumn days when the grass is jeweled
And the neighbor's hung from the chestnut tree

-Rebsie Fairholm, "Leafblower"

another nigh-unto-unspeakably beautiful piece of Philip George Saltonstall's artwork, created, of course, by the incomparable Michael Zulli, one which will appear in the book trailer.

I look forward . . .

Anyway, now I must go attend to those ripples.

I knew something had to explain Mitt Romney.

[greygirlbeast]

First day of autumn when the trees are turning gold
Visions fly like leaves in front of me
Autumn days when the grass is jeweled
And the neighbor's hung from the chestnut tree

Exactamundo.

another nigh-unto-unspeakably beautiful piece of Philip George Saltonstall's artwork, created, of course, by the incomparable Michael Zulli, one which will appear in the book trailer.

I look forward . . .

This one you're gonna...well, you'll see.

I knew something had to explain Mitt Romney.

I am so screwed.

[greygirlbeast]

Thanks for a new insult that I'm sure I'll find many uses for.

You're welcome