Entry No. 4,812

[greygirlbeast]

I hit a new post-election low point last night, and I posted this to Facebook:

I think that tonight I am at the lowest point I've been since election night. I cannot imagine a way forward. I'm more than half a century old, and never in my life has our country faced such a crisis. Ignorance, stupidity, prejudice, fear, greed, selfishness, and

Comments

[setsuled]

The word "hope" was in my mind yesterday, too, as I was thinking about the people who voted for Obama who turned around and voted for Trump. I thought, they tried hope and when they didn't get rich, they had stupidity to turn them to dull viciousness as an alternative. As I think about all the factors that tipped the scales in the election, every one of them--the fed up, out of work people in Michigan and Wisconsin, the people who believed Russian propaganda on Facebook, Comey's stunt with the e-mail--all of these things require a level of stupidity to work, or, to put it more charitably, a lack of proper education.

[ext_3833353]

My motto, right next to "I'm not sorry", is "Hope kills slowly". Vague hope is pointless without action.

I am almost 54, and I keep thinking about that phrase "a shadow of their former self". How did I get so...deteriorated? Did I let this happen, or was I too busy struggling with depression and medication and disappointment to even care?

I wonder a lot about what I might have accomplished. Then I look back at what I *did* manage, and it's not so ramshackle.

Chop wood, carry water.

[martianmooncrab]

Dear Santa,

Please bring me a new President.

Just counting backwards,

[ext_3273398]

Couldn't sleep last night. I heard this interview with an Russian author. She described the fascist take-over of her country. At first everyone is happy he lunatic backs down,a little from his rants. Then they start cracking down on the criminal, and they work their way up. She left Russia four years ago, just to protect her kids, now all her friends are dead. She is trying to find another country, but where? She telling people to liquidate your assets, and become an illegal in another country. She said you live in fear of deported everyday, but at least your not dead. I need pharmaceuticals, not functioning.

[sovay]

Maybe I should thank Trump for murdering the last vestiges of my self pity.

The election hasn't done anything for my suicidal ideation, but it has made me feel that it would be almost criminally irresponsible of me to kill myself, because I need to be here fighting. So that's been interesting.