Fanfic ~ Second one
Title: Second one
Pairing: DiexKai, ToshiyaxKai (semexuke)
Rating: NC-13 (?) Fluff
Warning: Jrock yaoi, no beta, LJ cuts fucking hate me. Fluffy bunnies are trying to take over the world!!! X3
Comments: Greatly appreciated
My comment: OMG!!!! I wrote a whole chapter without smut... for me that is new....
~*~
“You sound like a woman! Are you hormonal or something?!”
Die grabbed Kai’s arms and pulled him almost against his own body, then rotated them both around and pushed Kai against the wall. Kai felt the air escape his lungs from the brute force whit which his back slammed against the cold wall. He gasped and tried to free his hands from the unforgiving grip and free himself from Die’s rage. Truth be told he did go there to talk to Die about something he knew he would probably pay a similar price for.
“Don’t fucking look at the floor! Look at me!”
Kai still found difficulty to just take air into his lungs and still kept his eyes down. Die released one arm and grabbed Kai’s chin to force his face up. Kai looked less scared and more disheartened. Downcast eyes met the angry ones and for a split second Die felt a pang of pure guilt slightly dissolve his bitterness.
“What did you think would come out of this? Did you think I would have an epiphany or something?”
Kai breathed out “Nothing like that…”
“What was it then? Listen doll, I told you from the start not to confuse what I do with you for romance or emotions. I’ve grown out of fairy tales and other lies. I told you not to step up if you can’t keep up!”
He let go of now slightly shivering body and took half a step back placing both hands on either side of Kai, just to make sure he is close in case the other one tries to leave before their argument was over.
“I though I could… I did. It’s not like I wanted to need more. I didn’t even know I could want more.”
His breathing began to even out. He didn’t blame Die for reacting the way he did. Looking back, he really shouldn’t have attacked Die and blame him for being emotionally abusive and cold. He should have known better. Die did warn him, he did tell him his emotions worth nothing to him. It was just sex.
“I guess now I know what I need, what I want. And I know that what you need is no longer me.”
Kai looked one last time for signs of warmth in Die’s eyes, and as expected, he found none. Placing his hands on Die’s chest he gently pushed the men, which had for months dominated his body and his soul, away. Tears swelled up in his eyes and he muttered “I’m sorry” before going for the doors.
To some extent he had hoped that Die would stop him, but was not surprised when all he heard was air whiz by his ears as he ran down the hall. It was over. Time to wake up. Wake up from denial, self abuse, and slow decay of sanity.
Through vision blurred by tears he saw a figure ahead of him in the hall, he move a bit to the side and expected to run right pass the men. But strong arms grabbed him. Toshiya held out his hands to stop Kai and ask him where Die was. He younger men tried to shake him off and go on his marry way and Toshiya grabbed his shoulders. He smiled.
“Woha! Where are you in such a hurry to get to, sugar?”
Just as he said that he turned both Kai and himself to face each other. And he saw tears. For some reason it cut him. A face that sweet with a smile so innocent should never be washed with tears. One arm found itself wrapped around Kai’s waits as he wanted to bring the crying men closer to him and hold him in place. He pulled on the sleeve of his shirt with his free hand. He had managed to get the sleeve over his thumb and he brought his hand up to Kai’s face. He wiped the tears with his sleeve but more came out.
Toshiya understood, but there was no helping it, it had to be done. He understood that at times someone’s kindness can hurt more then cruelty. But that was only for a moment or two. He took Kai into a warm embrace and whispered soothing words, hoping to calm the trembling men down…
Oh no… “Did Die hurt you?”
The choked sob answered all. Toshiya felt angry and had he not been holding Kai he would have gone to throttle Die.
“It my fault.” Kai muttered, face still buried in the crook of Toshiya’s neck. “Really.”
He freed himself from the comforting embrace and looked Toshiya in the eyes. Toshiya took a step back as he saw Kai play out a smile. It looked beautiful as ever but behind the façade that wasn’t holing up, it was broken.
Kai really wanted to assure Toshiya that everything was fine. He smiled and just as he took a step to leave Toshiya pulled him into his arms again. He sounded angry… or was it hurt…
“Don’t ever do that again!”
Kai had enough yelling and arguments for one day, he tensed at the tone of Toshiya’s voice. Luckily Toshiya was not as emotionally unavailable as his, now, former lover. He immediately knew he should not have yelled.
“I’m sorry. I just don’t ever want to see you fake a smile just to hide the pain.”
Kai’s eyes widened and as soon as the words sank in he returned the embrace. They stood there for a while as Toshiya took Kai’s face in his hands and brought in up to meet his. He placed soft kisses and the younger men’s forehead, temples, cheeks. Lips…
~*~
Kai no longer found it odd that he was now with Toshiya. Die didn’t seem to mind as he found a new lover without much effort. Not that it mattered, Kai would still hold onto Toshiya even if Die would have been against it.
Throughout the course of the coming weeks after Kai and Die broke up, Toshiya had done everything imaginable and convince Kai that he can love him. He won him over. They talked that day about why Kai was suddenly unpleasant with his relationship with Die. Through the conversation Toshiya realized he could give the younger men all he needed, there were no more obstacles. He had started to fall for Kai as soon as they first met, but there was Die.
He took it slowly not wanting Kai to think he wanted him only for sex like Die did. He charmed and romanced his way into Kai’s heart. Weather it was the red roses he sent to the other bands studio, which made Kai take up their red color as his band members teased him about it, or the surprise date in the middle of the night, because of which Kai seriously doubted Toshiya’s sanity, everything was done perfectly and with love and care.
And it was all worth it. Kai didn’t make anymore fake smiles and Toshiya made sure to give him plenty to smile about. Not to get it wrong, that was a selfish act. Toshiya loved to make Kai smile.
Pairing: DiexKai, ToshiyaxKai (semexuke)
Rating: NC-13 (?) Fluff
Warning: Jrock yaoi, no beta, LJ cuts fucking hate me. Fluffy bunnies are trying to take over the world!!! X3
Comments: Greatly appreciated
My comment: OMG!!!! I wrote a whole chapter without smut... for me that is new....
~*~
“You sound like a woman! Are you hormonal or something?!”
Die grabbed Kai’s arms and pulled him almost against his own body, then rotated them both around and pushed Kai against the wall. Kai felt the air escape his lungs from the brute force whit which his back slammed against the cold wall. He gasped and tried to free his hands from the unforgiving grip and free himself from Die’s rage. Truth be told he did go there to talk to Die about something he knew he would probably pay a similar price for.
“Don’t fucking look at the floor! Look at me!”
Kai still found difficulty to just take air into his lungs and still kept his eyes down. Die released one arm and grabbed Kai’s chin to force his face up. Kai looked less scared and more disheartened. Downcast eyes met the angry ones and for a split second Die felt a pang of pure guilt slightly dissolve his bitterness.
“What did you think would come out of this? Did you think I would have an epiphany or something?”
Kai breathed out “Nothing like that…”
“What was it then? Listen doll, I told you from the start not to confuse what I do with you for romance or emotions. I’ve grown out of fairy tales and other lies. I told you not to step up if you can’t keep up!”
He let go of now slightly shivering body and took half a step back placing both hands on either side of Kai, just to make sure he is close in case the other one tries to leave before their argument was over.
“I though I could… I did. It’s not like I wanted to need more. I didn’t even know I could want more.”
His breathing began to even out. He didn’t blame Die for reacting the way he did. Looking back, he really shouldn’t have attacked Die and blame him for being emotionally abusive and cold. He should have known better. Die did warn him, he did tell him his emotions worth nothing to him. It was just sex.
“I guess now I know what I need, what I want. And I know that what you need is no longer me.”
Kai looked one last time for signs of warmth in Die’s eyes, and as expected, he found none. Placing his hands on Die’s chest he gently pushed the men, which had for months dominated his body and his soul, away. Tears swelled up in his eyes and he muttered “I’m sorry” before going for the doors.
To some extent he had hoped that Die would stop him, but was not surprised when all he heard was air whiz by his ears as he ran down the hall. It was over. Time to wake up. Wake up from denial, self abuse, and slow decay of sanity.
Through vision blurred by tears he saw a figure ahead of him in the hall, he move a bit to the side and expected to run right pass the men. But strong arms grabbed him. Toshiya held out his hands to stop Kai and ask him where Die was. He younger men tried to shake him off and go on his marry way and Toshiya grabbed his shoulders. He smiled.
“Woha! Where are you in such a hurry to get to, sugar?”
Just as he said that he turned both Kai and himself to face each other. And he saw tears. For some reason it cut him. A face that sweet with a smile so innocent should never be washed with tears. One arm found itself wrapped around Kai’s waits as he wanted to bring the crying men closer to him and hold him in place. He pulled on the sleeve of his shirt with his free hand. He had managed to get the sleeve over his thumb and he brought his hand up to Kai’s face. He wiped the tears with his sleeve but more came out.
Toshiya understood, but there was no helping it, it had to be done. He understood that at times someone’s kindness can hurt more then cruelty. But that was only for a moment or two. He took Kai into a warm embrace and whispered soothing words, hoping to calm the trembling men down…
Oh no… “Did Die hurt you?”
The choked sob answered all. Toshiya felt angry and had he not been holding Kai he would have gone to throttle Die.
“It my fault.” Kai muttered, face still buried in the crook of Toshiya’s neck. “Really.”
He freed himself from the comforting embrace and looked Toshiya in the eyes. Toshiya took a step back as he saw Kai play out a smile. It looked beautiful as ever but behind the façade that wasn’t holing up, it was broken.
Kai really wanted to assure Toshiya that everything was fine. He smiled and just as he took a step to leave Toshiya pulled him into his arms again. He sounded angry… or was it hurt…
“Don’t ever do that again!”
Kai had enough yelling and arguments for one day, he tensed at the tone of Toshiya’s voice. Luckily Toshiya was not as emotionally unavailable as his, now, former lover. He immediately knew he should not have yelled.
“I’m sorry. I just don’t ever want to see you fake a smile just to hide the pain.”
Kai’s eyes widened and as soon as the words sank in he returned the embrace. They stood there for a while as Toshiya took Kai’s face in his hands and brought in up to meet his. He placed soft kisses and the younger men’s forehead, temples, cheeks. Lips…
~*~
Kai no longer found it odd that he was now with Toshiya. Die didn’t seem to mind as he found a new lover without much effort. Not that it mattered, Kai would still hold onto Toshiya even if Die would have been against it.
Throughout the course of the coming weeks after Kai and Die broke up, Toshiya had done everything imaginable and convince Kai that he can love him. He won him over. They talked that day about why Kai was suddenly unpleasant with his relationship with Die. Through the conversation Toshiya realized he could give the younger men all he needed, there were no more obstacles. He had started to fall for Kai as soon as they first met, but there was Die.
He took it slowly not wanting Kai to think he wanted him only for sex like Die did. He charmed and romanced his way into Kai’s heart. Weather it was the red roses he sent to the other bands studio, which made Kai take up their red color as his band members teased him about it, or the surprise date in the middle of the night, because of which Kai seriously doubted Toshiya’s sanity, everything was done perfectly and with love and care.
And it was all worth it. Kai didn’t make anymore fake smiles and Toshiya made sure to give him plenty to smile about. Not to get it wrong, that was a selfish act. Toshiya loved to make Kai smile.