Comments | greenie_breizh: DADT ends! Dan Savage's readers are idiots! Disabled people know what's best for them!

greenie_breizh

DADT ends! Dan Savage's readers are idiots! Disabled people know what's best for them!

Jan 04, 2011 09:09

I have a new apartment! Very excited about that, will update with more soon. But first I've let too much time go by again and I want to share a bunch of links. Today on the list: DADT ends! Dan Savage's readers are idiots! Shocking news: people with disabilities are the ones who know what's the best for them! La France se rend compte que la ( Read more... )

sexual violence, french, disability is in the eye of the beholder, public, barack hussein obama's odyssey, homophobia & heterosexism, dan savage, asexuality, links, gender & co, hegemony you annoy me

Comments 12

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greenie_breizh January 6 2011, 17:00:03 UTC

I have my reservations about DADT (see comments below if you're interested :) ) but it's definitely excellent that it was passed. It was ridiculous that that policy was even still in place!

Yeah, those reader responses were pretty discouraging. :( I'm glad you liked my response, at least! That last bit is so obvious to me, it's so offensive for Dan to imply that asexual people are like plotting to ensnare sexual people into a relationship. I mean, seriously? Sexual incompatibility isn't great for asexual people, either, and they've got to navigate those waters like anyone else. I hate the assumption that asexuals have never thought about potential difficulty, or that they wouldn't disclose to take advantage of a potential partner. Argh.

nicoli_dominn January 5 2011, 00:58:59 UTC

Regarding the post about asexuals, I'm pretty pissed off at the direction the respondents were taking. It smacks all too much of the bullshit argument that not disclosing your transgender/transexual status to a date before making out or whatever is RAPE. And the fact that people even go there makes me want to scream.

I used to identify with asexuality, and sometimes I wonder if I still do. I used to get the same kinds of reactions when I told people I was asexual - people who didn't know what asexuality even was, people who thought I just needed some good "lovin'" to open up, people who thought that if I just let them touch me, it would somehow change my outlook on sex and life in general. It was frustrating. I had people telling me I was just following a "stupid virginity fad" because I was a "poser." Of all things. In short, no matter what the topic, there's always bound to be some asshole somewhere who thinks s/he knows it all and must enlighten you to THE TRUTH. Whatever that might be. [/end personal rant ( ... )

heikki_cheren January 5 2011, 19:05:52 UTC

people who thought I just needed some good "lovin'" to open up, people who thought that if I just let them touch me, it would somehow change my outlook on sex and life in general. It was frustrating. I had people telling me I was just following a "stupid virginity fad" because I was a "poser." Of all things. In short, no matter what the topic, there's always bound to be some asshole somewhere who thinks s/he knows it all and must enlighten you to THE TRUTH.

Ah ah, it somehow reminds me of the guys who think the same kind of crap about lesbians and that if ever they could have sex with one of them it would change her sexual orientation. ;)

greenie_breizh January 6 2011, 16:12:22 UTC

No worries, your response was totally fair - anger and frustration are SO warranted sometimes. And all these comments were, indeed, bullshit.

It sounds like the craiglist creep didn't break into your house? Yay. :)

heikki_cheren January 5 2011, 19:01:50 UTC

Kinda amazed by the Dan Savage post and its comments...
Funny, I always thought an important reason why people are in a couple is love (granted, there's other reasons too, and for some couples, love isn't even a part of the equation ). After reading this post and the comments, it seems that too many people consider that a couple is just about fucking.
Those comments are so full of shit.

Besides, asexuality is NOT on the same level as heterosexuality/homosexuality/bisexuality. It's a different matter. I know that one asexual guy, he felt in love twice with girls (but only told it once, to the one who seemed a bit on the asexual side too), he's totally heterosexual, just totally not interested in sex itself, period.

greenie_breizh January 6 2011, 16:17:29 UTC

Yeah, I didn't comment on the friendship/love thing... what's wild to me is not only how many people are like "if you're not fucking it's not a relationship", which is super offensive and one-sided, but how people are incapable of taking a step back and admitting that love and friendship can look different to different people. It definitely makes it more confusing to figure out if you love someone as a potential partner or just as a friend, but it's not impossible, and it's OK to get it wrong... I don't know. I hate the idea of defining friendship OR love by some general standard.

My friend Cole who does a lot of activist work on asexuality could explain the model better, but yeah, you're right, asexuality is not a sexual orientation; instead in the asexual community I've seen the heteroromantic/homoromantic/biromantic used, which I find useful. I do think there are parallels with sexual orientation in the sense that all of them are sexual identities. But that's getting subtle and people are clearly confused enough...

menyhapyreturns January 6 2011, 02:37:46 UTC

"That said, just like I support same-sex marriage but still question its normalizing assumptions, I feel that I can have little to no sympathy for the institution of the military and still respect that some LGB people may disagree and want to be part of the army ( ... )

More detail on reservations to DADT repeal greenie_breizh January 6 2011, 16:54:20 UTC

First of, this is going to be long, so apologies in advance ( ... )

Re: More detail on reservations to DADT repeal menyhapyreturns January 18 2011, 03:01:38 UTC

Hey! First off, I want to apologize that it has taken me so long to respond to this, I just got slammed this past week and plus and didn't have an opportunity to sit down and think/type anything out ( ... )

Re: More detail on reservations to DADT repeal menyhapyreturns January 18 2011, 03:02:22 UTC

I understand better now, I think, what you mean about the normalizing...I guess I would personally tend to think of it more in terms as the worship of the "macho-masculine" and the denigration of the feminine, and the insistence that people are, or must be, one or the other. That's a part of the reason I love gay marriage being legalized and recognized as equal, socially and culturally as well as legally, because it undermines the notion of marriage as a gendered hierarchy. Incidentally, that is precisely what pisses off the gay marriage opponents - they see it as undermining gender roles. I think it does that in a very fundamental way (even if one partner is playing the "housewife" role and one is playing the "breadwinner" role, you can no longer say that's how it must be based on gender ( ... )

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