Fade Into The Background Prologue and Chapter 1
I decided to repost the whole series here.
Title: Fade into the Background //You can't lose what you never had//
Pairing: Akanishi Jin X Kamenashi Kazuya (Akame to make it short XD) //KAT-TUN//
Genre: Romance, some Angst, lots of Fluff
Warnings: None. It's all safe.
Disclamer: Do not own them. If anybody I'd like to own Ueda. But well... one can't have everything, right?
Summary: Kazuya is getting married and while watching him from the background Jin suddenly rememberes their story. His thoughts are going back in time and he starts to regret and realize....
A/N: First of all: English isn't my mother tongue, but I tried my best and since I'm living in the UK at the moment I'm pretty much used to write and speak it. But you're welcome to correct mistakes.
naomi0211 gave me the idea to write this and I'm very thankful for that, since it's a lot of fun to write their story and think about it while work XD. That's why I would like to dedicate the whole fanfiction to her and also to brini1805 , since Akame is their favorite pairing. And because I love you two ♥
Thanks for reading ^_^ <3
The beautiful and lovely banner is made by naomi0211 <3
Prologue
It’s been such a beautiful spring day. It wasn’t too warm outside, but it wasn’t cold at all. The sun was shining from a perfect blue sky and made the Sakura blossoms shine so soft and beautiful, that it felt like they reflected the light.
When he was looking at the scene everything was shining so brightly this day. Especially that one person.
It wasn’t the first time he saw him like that. Back then when they’d been filming One Pound Gospel he had seen the pictures in some magazine. The younger one had been looking so amazing in his white suit; he’d been so beautiful that it was breathtaking.
Jin leaned against the wall next to him and sighed while watching the scenery.
Everything was white. The flowers were white, the dresses were white and even the chairs and decorations were held in white. The sunlight was reflected by everything and it almost hurt Jin’s eyes.
He would not have thought the brunette would be going to have a wedding like this. He always imagined him in a traditional one; it suited him so much better. But he wasn’t asked--- so he didn’t say it.
But Jin could still see those pictures they had made once in a photo shooting were they had been wearing those traditional clothes. He liked the younger one in that style, more than in this.
Someone passed by and offered him a glass Champagne. Jin took it and nipped a bit, then he just hold it in his hands and looked at the bride.
She looked so beautiful in her white dress and he knew she was a very nice woman. Everyone loved her and liked her and she didn’t just look beautiful, she really was beautiful- from inside. She was one of those perfect girls, the rare ones you wouldn’t find everywhere.
But compared to the groom, Jin thought, she was nothing; probably not ugly, but she didn’t have that perfect inner beauty as he had.
Right now he was standing under one of those perfect Sakura trees and smiled at his bride. They were going to get married in just a few hours and it was supposed to be the happiest day in the brunette’s life.
He wore white, just as everyone else, but he was shining even more than them. His smile was so beautiful and pure, it pierced Jin’s chest that he didn’t smile it for him, but for that woman. The petals fell around them as a mild wind blew over the scenery and messed the perfection of everything up. Just a bit.
For just a second their eyes met in that moment and Jin hold his breath.
He looked away again and the older male lowered his gaze. His heartbeat was going fast and for the first time in years he had that feeling again. It made his chest hurt even more and he turned around not able to watch it any longer.
A traditional wedding would have been so much better; it suited him much more and made him look so much prettier, the brown hair that finally reached his shoulders again would have been tied back to make his beautiful face visible. The Sakura petals would have fallen down on him, making his appearance even more beautiful.
He knew the younger one had always wanted a wedding like that. Jin had already forgotten about that, but coming here today remembered him of the old times when they’d been talking about things like that; when they had still been talking to each other.
Jin watched a petal of the Sakura tree next to him going under in his drink and remembered those times.
Why did he start to regret it now? Why did it suddenly start to hurt?
He had been the one to give up what had been between them; he didn’t even have a right to regret, to be hurt.
But all he could do was to fade into the background, watch Kazuya from there.
Jin removed some shining petals from his black suit, dropping them to the ground and stood where he should be standing: in the background.
First Memory: A Winter Illusion
“What a wonderful wedding…”
Jin sighed as he heard that for the tenth time. He looked at the boy beside him who was completely fascinated by what was going on around them. Jin thought it was rather boring.
One of their sempais had his wedding today and they were lucky to be invited to the party. They hadn’t really been to the church--- they had just been waiting outside with a lot of other people--- so he thought saying it was a “wonderful wedding” was something they couldn’t really estimate. But he didn’t say anything- just as he did the nine times before.
“Ne, Jin!” Kazuya tugged the sleeve of Jin’s black suit. “Ne, ne… don’t turn around now, but that girl over there has been watching you for quite a long while now…”
The blonde boy sighed. “I don’t care.”, was everything he said as he put his chin on his hand. He gave the younger one a quick glance, watching his excitement.
Jin really wasn’t interested in the girl. As long as he could watch the brunette beside him like this he wouldn’t show any interest in someone else. He had known Kazuya for so long now, they’ve literally grown up together and they became really good friends. The blonde couldn’t even think of what his life would be like without him.
And Jin thought that was his problem. He wasn’t sure what it was he felt for Kazuya, but it was probably much more than just simple friendship, since he always wanted him to be around and tell and show him everything he liked, disliked, that moved him and that left impressions on him. Jin had started to want to share everything with Kazuya.
That really frightened him.
“But she’s so pretty….” Kazuya mumbled as he noticed Jin’s obvious dislike in her.
And that was the reason why Jin was so afraid. Kazuya didn’t show the same interest in him- the younger one definitely liked girls, he always watched out for a pretty one.
“It’s just her face, Kame…”, Jin said and leaned back to have a look himself. The girl gave him a sweet smile and he just raised an eyebrow and turned around again.
“Jin!” The smaller male hissed. “How dare you reject her? She’s obviously…”
With a quick move Jin got up from his chair and made Kazuya stop talking with giving him an angry glare. “And I said I don’t care.” He left to the buffet and Kazuya watched him walking away with pouting lips.
He sighed and rested his chin on his hands, watching the older male who had met someone now and was talking with that person.
He really liked Jin, but he always felt so pity for the blonde boy because he was not really able to show his emotions and thoughts. Other than Kazuya he always had that perfect poker face and wouldn’t let anyone know what he was thinking; what it was that was going on in his head.
But the brunette was lucky enough to get through to Jin. He wasn’t really sure how he had made it but he knew so much more, he saw so much more and the most important thing about it was that Jin just let him. He let no one else get so close to him like he let Kazuya.
“What’s the matter, Kamenashi-kun?” It was Takizawa who took Jin’s chair now and sat down beside Kazuya. “Did you have a fight with Akanishi?”
The younger one shook his head and bowed lightly down. “No. No, not at all.”
Takizawa quickly glanced in Jin’s direction and then dropped the topic to smile and the brunette. “I’ve heard you guys are doing very well, everyone is just praising you… you work hard, don’t you?”
“I do my best.”
Takizawa nodded. “Keep it on.” He just said, patted Kazuya’s shoulder and stood up then to leave the room.
Kazuya bowed again to his back and watched him leaving. He wanted to become like that one day as well. He wanted to debut and then cheer on his juniors to do their best and become like him.
He really wanted to be an idol.
As he felt eyes on him he turned around and his gaze found Jin’s. They looked at each other for a moment, then Jin turned away and Kazuya looked to his feet.
Lately Jin’s looks had become different from before and made him feel a little bit uneasy. Something between them had changed and Kazuya didn’t know what it was.
They were still so very close to each other, probably even closer than they’ve usually been but… somehow Jin had started to treat him differently from before.
The blonde was 18 by now and Kazuya just slightly younger, but he noticed more and more how Jin treat him like a child.
The smaller male didn’t like that at all; he wanted Jin to see him as an equivalent friend, someone he didn’t just have to take care of but also someone he could trust and rely on.
Kazuya noticed that it was fear that pierced his chest. Fear to lose their special friendship. He always wanted to be someone special for Jin.
He raised his head as someone suddenly took his hand and looked surprised at Jin. The older one gave him a smile and asked: “What are you frowning at? Is there something worrying you?”
Yes, you! Kazuya thought, but just shook his head with a slight smile. “It’s alright.”
Jin still held his hand and didn’t let it go as they left the room. He tugged Kazuya with him and smiled mysteriously at him, before he opened the door and pushed Kazuya outside.
“Oi, it’s so cold!”, Kazuya said and then caught his breath as a single snowflake landed on his nose. “Ne, Jin!” he turned around to the older one, who just stand behind him with his hands hidden in the bags of his trousers, watching the brunette. “It’s snowing!”
Kazuya went a little bit forwards, facing the grey sky above him and trying to catch some flakes.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Jin asked, remaining where he was and watching the scenery from his spot in the background.
The brunette nodded in excitement and laughed happily. Then he returned to Jin’s side and together they were looking up to the sky. It remained silent between them, as the snowflakes became bigger and bigger and covered their hair and shoulders.
Jin lowered his gaze to Kazuya, as he noticed him starting to tremble and shiver. Without saying a word he stripped off his jacket to pull it over Kazuya’s shoulders.
Surprised the younger male looked at him. “Aren’t you cold, Jin?”
“It’s okay.”
“Are you sure you-----?”
“I said it’s okay, Kame.”, Jin repeated harshly, looking up to the sky.
Kazuya just nodded and looked down; pulling the jacket around him to get warm. “Ne, Jin…” he said after a while.
Instinctively Jin came a bit closer to him. He didn’t say anything, but Kazuya was sure he was listening. The blonde was always listening to him. “You really didn’t care for the girl?”
Jin sighed and shook his head. He didn’t know why Kazuya had to warm that up again.
“Is there a girl you care for?”
Jin felt his heart stop beating for a moment. He was sure it had just stopped. He looked at Kazuya’s profile, noticing just once more how beautiful it was and swallowed thickly before he spoke up. “No…” was all he managed to answer.
Kazuya remained looking to the ground, his cheeks got a little red and he just nodded slightly.
“Why do you ask..?” Jin asked silently.
Fidgeting with the fabric of Jin’s jacket Kazuya managed to smile lightly. “I don’t know… I just thought you probably would. You’ve been different lately.”
Because I don’t know how to handle you, the blonde thought. He suddenly noticed how close they’ve been to each other; how close Kazuya was standing beside him. He just had to reach out his hand a bit to take grip of the younger one’s.
Jin shook his head and wanted to say something, but he didn’t know how to, what to say. Kazuya was still watching the ground; he could see the embarrassment in those beautiful brown eyes.
Jin couldn’t control his hand as it automatically reached out for Kazuya’s. It was so close; he just had to move his fingers a bit. He took a deep breath and moved his hand to the side. “Kazuya…”
The brunette jumped a bit and turned around as someone opened the door. “What are you two doing outside here? You’re going to freeze! Come back inside!”
Jin let go of his breath and watched as Kazuya turned back to him, looked into his beautiful face and hid his hands in the bags of his trousers again.
“What did you want to say?” the smaller male asked.
The blonde shook his head, managed a smile and passed by Kazuya to reach the door. “It’s nothing. Let’s go back.” he said and didn’t dare to look at the other one again.
Kazuya sighed and pulled the jacket closer around himself; then he followed Jin inside again.
Whatever that feeling was that was growing inside his chest, Jin didn’t seem to feel the same for him.
Title: Fade into the Background //You can't lose what you never had//
Pairing: Akanishi Jin X Kamenashi Kazuya (Akame to make it short XD) //KAT-TUN//
Genre: Romance, some Angst, lots of Fluff
Warnings: None. It's all safe.
Disclamer: Do not own them. If anybody I'd like to own Ueda. But well... one can't have everything, right?
Summary: Kazuya is getting married and while watching him from the background Jin suddenly rememberes their story. His thoughts are going back in time and he starts to regret and realize....
A/N: First of all: English isn't my mother tongue, but I tried my best and since I'm living in the UK at the moment I'm pretty much used to write and speak it. But you're welcome to correct mistakes.
naomi0211 gave me the idea to write this and I'm very thankful for that, since it's a lot of fun to write their story and think about it while work XD. That's why I would like to dedicate the whole fanfiction to her and also to brini1805 , since Akame is their favorite pairing. And because I love you two ♥
Thanks for reading ^_^ <3
The beautiful and lovely banner is made by naomi0211 <3
Prologue
It’s been such a beautiful spring day. It wasn’t too warm outside, but it wasn’t cold at all. The sun was shining from a perfect blue sky and made the Sakura blossoms shine so soft and beautiful, that it felt like they reflected the light.
When he was looking at the scene everything was shining so brightly this day. Especially that one person.
It wasn’t the first time he saw him like that. Back then when they’d been filming One Pound Gospel he had seen the pictures in some magazine. The younger one had been looking so amazing in his white suit; he’d been so beautiful that it was breathtaking.
Jin leaned against the wall next to him and sighed while watching the scenery.
Everything was white. The flowers were white, the dresses were white and even the chairs and decorations were held in white. The sunlight was reflected by everything and it almost hurt Jin’s eyes.
He would not have thought the brunette would be going to have a wedding like this. He always imagined him in a traditional one; it suited him so much better. But he wasn’t asked--- so he didn’t say it.
But Jin could still see those pictures they had made once in a photo shooting were they had been wearing those traditional clothes. He liked the younger one in that style, more than in this.
Someone passed by and offered him a glass Champagne. Jin took it and nipped a bit, then he just hold it in his hands and looked at the bride.
She looked so beautiful in her white dress and he knew she was a very nice woman. Everyone loved her and liked her and she didn’t just look beautiful, she really was beautiful- from inside. She was one of those perfect girls, the rare ones you wouldn’t find everywhere.
But compared to the groom, Jin thought, she was nothing; probably not ugly, but she didn’t have that perfect inner beauty as he had.
Right now he was standing under one of those perfect Sakura trees and smiled at his bride. They were going to get married in just a few hours and it was supposed to be the happiest day in the brunette’s life.
He wore white, just as everyone else, but he was shining even more than them. His smile was so beautiful and pure, it pierced Jin’s chest that he didn’t smile it for him, but for that woman. The petals fell around them as a mild wind blew over the scenery and messed the perfection of everything up. Just a bit.
For just a second their eyes met in that moment and Jin hold his breath.
He looked away again and the older male lowered his gaze. His heartbeat was going fast and for the first time in years he had that feeling again. It made his chest hurt even more and he turned around not able to watch it any longer.
A traditional wedding would have been so much better; it suited him much more and made him look so much prettier, the brown hair that finally reached his shoulders again would have been tied back to make his beautiful face visible. The Sakura petals would have fallen down on him, making his appearance even more beautiful.
He knew the younger one had always wanted a wedding like that. Jin had already forgotten about that, but coming here today remembered him of the old times when they’d been talking about things like that; when they had still been talking to each other.
Jin watched a petal of the Sakura tree next to him going under in his drink and remembered those times.
Why did he start to regret it now? Why did it suddenly start to hurt?
He had been the one to give up what had been between them; he didn’t even have a right to regret, to be hurt.
But all he could do was to fade into the background, watch Kazuya from there.
Jin removed some shining petals from his black suit, dropping them to the ground and stood where he should be standing: in the background.
First Memory: A Winter Illusion
“What a wonderful wedding…”
Jin sighed as he heard that for the tenth time. He looked at the boy beside him who was completely fascinated by what was going on around them. Jin thought it was rather boring.
One of their sempais had his wedding today and they were lucky to be invited to the party. They hadn’t really been to the church--- they had just been waiting outside with a lot of other people--- so he thought saying it was a “wonderful wedding” was something they couldn’t really estimate. But he didn’t say anything- just as he did the nine times before.
“Ne, Jin!” Kazuya tugged the sleeve of Jin’s black suit. “Ne, ne… don’t turn around now, but that girl over there has been watching you for quite a long while now…”
The blonde boy sighed. “I don’t care.”, was everything he said as he put his chin on his hand. He gave the younger one a quick glance, watching his excitement.
Jin really wasn’t interested in the girl. As long as he could watch the brunette beside him like this he wouldn’t show any interest in someone else. He had known Kazuya for so long now, they’ve literally grown up together and they became really good friends. The blonde couldn’t even think of what his life would be like without him.
And Jin thought that was his problem. He wasn’t sure what it was he felt for Kazuya, but it was probably much more than just simple friendship, since he always wanted him to be around and tell and show him everything he liked, disliked, that moved him and that left impressions on him. Jin had started to want to share everything with Kazuya.
That really frightened him.
“But she’s so pretty….” Kazuya mumbled as he noticed Jin’s obvious dislike in her.
And that was the reason why Jin was so afraid. Kazuya didn’t show the same interest in him- the younger one definitely liked girls, he always watched out for a pretty one.
“It’s just her face, Kame…”, Jin said and leaned back to have a look himself. The girl gave him a sweet smile and he just raised an eyebrow and turned around again.
“Jin!” The smaller male hissed. “How dare you reject her? She’s obviously…”
With a quick move Jin got up from his chair and made Kazuya stop talking with giving him an angry glare. “And I said I don’t care.” He left to the buffet and Kazuya watched him walking away with pouting lips.
He sighed and rested his chin on his hands, watching the older male who had met someone now and was talking with that person.
He really liked Jin, but he always felt so pity for the blonde boy because he was not really able to show his emotions and thoughts. Other than Kazuya he always had that perfect poker face and wouldn’t let anyone know what he was thinking; what it was that was going on in his head.
But the brunette was lucky enough to get through to Jin. He wasn’t really sure how he had made it but he knew so much more, he saw so much more and the most important thing about it was that Jin just let him. He let no one else get so close to him like he let Kazuya.
“What’s the matter, Kamenashi-kun?” It was Takizawa who took Jin’s chair now and sat down beside Kazuya. “Did you have a fight with Akanishi?”
The younger one shook his head and bowed lightly down. “No. No, not at all.”
Takizawa quickly glanced in Jin’s direction and then dropped the topic to smile and the brunette. “I’ve heard you guys are doing very well, everyone is just praising you… you work hard, don’t you?”
“I do my best.”
Takizawa nodded. “Keep it on.” He just said, patted Kazuya’s shoulder and stood up then to leave the room.
Kazuya bowed again to his back and watched him leaving. He wanted to become like that one day as well. He wanted to debut and then cheer on his juniors to do their best and become like him.
He really wanted to be an idol.
As he felt eyes on him he turned around and his gaze found Jin’s. They looked at each other for a moment, then Jin turned away and Kazuya looked to his feet.
Lately Jin’s looks had become different from before and made him feel a little bit uneasy. Something between them had changed and Kazuya didn’t know what it was.
They were still so very close to each other, probably even closer than they’ve usually been but… somehow Jin had started to treat him differently from before.
The blonde was 18 by now and Kazuya just slightly younger, but he noticed more and more how Jin treat him like a child.
The smaller male didn’t like that at all; he wanted Jin to see him as an equivalent friend, someone he didn’t just have to take care of but also someone he could trust and rely on.
Kazuya noticed that it was fear that pierced his chest. Fear to lose their special friendship. He always wanted to be someone special for Jin.
He raised his head as someone suddenly took his hand and looked surprised at Jin. The older one gave him a smile and asked: “What are you frowning at? Is there something worrying you?”
Yes, you! Kazuya thought, but just shook his head with a slight smile. “It’s alright.”
Jin still held his hand and didn’t let it go as they left the room. He tugged Kazuya with him and smiled mysteriously at him, before he opened the door and pushed Kazuya outside.
“Oi, it’s so cold!”, Kazuya said and then caught his breath as a single snowflake landed on his nose. “Ne, Jin!” he turned around to the older one, who just stand behind him with his hands hidden in the bags of his trousers, watching the brunette. “It’s snowing!”
Kazuya went a little bit forwards, facing the grey sky above him and trying to catch some flakes.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Jin asked, remaining where he was and watching the scenery from his spot in the background.
The brunette nodded in excitement and laughed happily. Then he returned to Jin’s side and together they were looking up to the sky. It remained silent between them, as the snowflakes became bigger and bigger and covered their hair and shoulders.
Jin lowered his gaze to Kazuya, as he noticed him starting to tremble and shiver. Without saying a word he stripped off his jacket to pull it over Kazuya’s shoulders.
Surprised the younger male looked at him. “Aren’t you cold, Jin?”
“It’s okay.”
“Are you sure you-----?”
“I said it’s okay, Kame.”, Jin repeated harshly, looking up to the sky.
Kazuya just nodded and looked down; pulling the jacket around him to get warm. “Ne, Jin…” he said after a while.
Instinctively Jin came a bit closer to him. He didn’t say anything, but Kazuya was sure he was listening. The blonde was always listening to him. “You really didn’t care for the girl?”
Jin sighed and shook his head. He didn’t know why Kazuya had to warm that up again.
“Is there a girl you care for?”
Jin felt his heart stop beating for a moment. He was sure it had just stopped. He looked at Kazuya’s profile, noticing just once more how beautiful it was and swallowed thickly before he spoke up. “No…” was all he managed to answer.
Kazuya remained looking to the ground, his cheeks got a little red and he just nodded slightly.
“Why do you ask..?” Jin asked silently.
Fidgeting with the fabric of Jin’s jacket Kazuya managed to smile lightly. “I don’t know… I just thought you probably would. You’ve been different lately.”
Because I don’t know how to handle you, the blonde thought. He suddenly noticed how close they’ve been to each other; how close Kazuya was standing beside him. He just had to reach out his hand a bit to take grip of the younger one’s.
Jin shook his head and wanted to say something, but he didn’t know how to, what to say. Kazuya was still watching the ground; he could see the embarrassment in those beautiful brown eyes.
Jin couldn’t control his hand as it automatically reached out for Kazuya’s. It was so close; he just had to move his fingers a bit. He took a deep breath and moved his hand to the side. “Kazuya…”
The brunette jumped a bit and turned around as someone opened the door. “What are you two doing outside here? You’re going to freeze! Come back inside!”
Jin let go of his breath and watched as Kazuya turned back to him, looked into his beautiful face and hid his hands in the bags of his trousers again.
“What did you want to say?” the smaller male asked.
The blonde shook his head, managed a smile and passed by Kazuya to reach the door. “It’s nothing. Let’s go back.” he said and didn’t dare to look at the other one again.
Kazuya sighed and pulled the jacket closer around himself; then he followed Jin inside again.
Whatever that feeling was that was growing inside his chest, Jin didn’t seem to feel the same for him.