FIC: Crumbs
Title: Crumbs
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Emily/Andy (friendship), Miranda/Andy, and well you'll see.
Summary: The bits I couldn't fit into Cookies vs. Biscuits
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Devil Wears Prada characters, the lyrics to Cruella DeVil, the Notebook, any of the Golden Girls or Imagine Me and You
A/N: Here are the deleted scenes. Thanks for everyone who read Cookies vs. Biscuits and encouraged this mayhem and foolishness. I hope you enjoy! Thanks to mirandyscrow for all of your help on this including the title :P. Thanks to beachbum3668 for beta'ng this despite all of the comp issues. Enjoy!
Lifestyle of the not so rich and barely famous aka Bonus/Deleted scenes
Emily sat on the couch, looking over the latest issue of Runway. She and Andy had been sitting in the room for about twenty minutes and she could feel the brunette’s eyes burning into her.
“What? What is it?” Emily snapped, tossing the magazine down.
Andy shifted in her seat. “It’s just that…why doesn’t anyone visit you?”
“What are you talking about? You’re here aren’t you?”
“Not me, like friends…you know like you and Serena.” Andy made some gesture with her hand that Emily couldn’t decipher.
“What about us?”
“I thought you two were close.”
Emily considered it. She supposed she and Serena were close, at least closer than she was to anyone else at Runway outside of Nigel. “Perhaps…” Emily answered noncommittally as she picked up the glossy magazine again, causing them to lapse into silence.
“And do you like ever date or anything?”
“What is this, the bloody Spanish Inquisition?”
Andy sat back and folded her arms. “Sorry, I was just trying to make conversation.”
“Well don’t.” Emily fixed her with a glare before looking down at the Chanel ad in the middle of the magazine.
“I just figured you two were dating or something,” Andy muttered, breaking the silence again.
Emily started. Surely Andy hadn’t said what she’d just heard. “Why on earth would you ever think that?”
Andy shrugged. “I don’t know. You two just seemed to be that close. Plus sometimes you’d come back from lunch with Serena all flushed. So it’s not hard to put two and two together.”
This was news to Emily. Did everyone think this? Surely not nothing had ever happened between Serena and her. She had never even considered being that way with another female. Andy, on the other hand, with those chunky shoes and “Well, it isn’t true. It’s absurd that you’d ever even think it. Do not ever speak of it again.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just saying I don’t have any problems with it. So, if you’ve been hiding it for my benefit then-”
“That isn’t ‘never speaking of it again’ is it?” Emily hissed, nearly ripping a page as she turned it.
*****
Emily sniffled, grabbing a tissue. “You’re some kind of witch. I’m sure of it.”
Andy blew her nose and used her clean hand to wipe a stray tear. “See? You really are a romantic at heart,” she husked, her voice nearly gone from having spent the last half hour weeping.
“What bloody movie is this? It has to be some sort of trick. I’m English. I don’t cry.”
“It’s The Notebook, now shh…this is my favorite part.”
*****
Emily could feel her phone vibrating in her bag. She sat the Starbucks tray on the desk before fishing it out.
“Cruella De Vil…Cruella De Vil…If she doesn't scare you…No evil thing will…”
Great, Andy was back to this. It wasn’t her fault that she ‘accidentally’ knocked Andy’s ceramic green bunny off of the shelf while she was dusting. It was repulsive and really Andy should be thanking her.
“To see her is to…Take a sudden chill…Cruella, Cruella De Vil…”
“At least this time she made sure it wouldn’t ever go off during a meeting,” Nigel said as he hurried by.
“Yeah, thank God for small favors,” Emily replied before hitting the talk button. “Hello, Miranda?”
*****
“I’m telling you I’m really good with accents!” Andy insisted.
“Look Andy, I don’t know who filled your head with that silly little notion. Probably some lonely, underpaid high school drama teacher that was looking to get into your knickers, but you have to stop with this obsession. You are not good with accents!”
“Fine, maybe I need to work on my British accent, but I do a really good Southern one. Listen. Whah Biff weah at the foath of Ju-ly picnic, the whole town is heah.” Andy stumbled over her feet and she tried to move like a southern belle. Her voice cracked at the end and Emily winced.
“Just…no.”
“What? You didn’t like it? My friends say I do a good Blanche Devereaux.”
Emily rolled her eyes. “I have no idea who that is, but if they sound like that then they should see a specialist. I’m going to offer you a piece of advice that I’m pretty sure no one has ever told you: get yourself some new friends.”
*****
“Ira Weinstein the summer after my bat mitzvah. It was…pretty awful.” Andy wrinkled her nose in disgust.
“I imagine it would be with a guy named ‘Ira.’ Was he your boyfriend?”
“God no! He was the rabbi’s son. My sisters kept talking about how great it was and I wanted to know what the fuss was about. Believe me there was no fuss. He sweated a lot and it was over pretty quickly.” Emily grimaced as her mind was assaulted with the visuals. “What about you? Who did you lose yours to?”
Emily felt her face turn red and looked away. “Why are we even talking about this?”
Andy squeezed cookie dough from its tube into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “Because you said you’d never been to a sleepover before and that’s what you do. Sit around, eating junk and talking about boys…or girls,” Andy finished with a sly grin.
Glaring, Emily sat back. It was true. She’d grown up an only child and was sent away to boarding school in France at an early age. The girls there didn’t really do things like this. She had to admit, it was kind of fun. “It was out in the stables at school with a bloke named Jack. I’d fancied him for two years and that winter after my sixteenth birthday, we were hanging out in stables and it was really cold. Like freezing cold…he made a fire and we shared a blanket.” Emily blushed again as the memories came back to her.
“That is far more romantic than Ira and me on the quilt my bubby made me when I was a baby.”
“I would hardly call it romantic. I thought my nose was going to ice over, among other things. “
“Oh it totally was. Like something out a movie. I bet that’s why they make ‘chick flicks.’ They’re like aphrodisiacs.”
Emily stared at her in disbelief. “You are a strange bird.”
“No, I’m serious. Think about it romantic movies are designed to make women want to be close to someone.”
“I wouldn’t know.” Emily had never really been taken with a movie in that way.
“No offense, but that’s because British movies kind of suck,” Andy said with a wicked grin and Emily was tempted to smother her with the pillow next to her. “But I bet you’d totally fall for the Imagine Me and You trick.
“What is that?”
“I can’t believe you’ve never heard of that movie! Anyway, it doesn’t matter. It’s this movie and it totally gets you laid,” Andy said with a wink.
“My God, you are so crude.” Emily said, rolling her eyes.
“What? I didn’t say anything dirty. I’ve just heard that it’s one of those ‘sure things.’ I’ve only seen the movie a few times. I can definitely see why. Besides it only works on women.” Andy looked over at her pointedly.
Emily threw the pillow.
*****
Emily sighed as she pushed the door open. It had been a very long day and she was looking to having the next two days off.
“I wonder who would play you in the story of your life,” Andy said to Miranda as she looked over the Book. “Hey, Em.”
Sometimes Emily wondered how Miranda put up with Andy’s incessant chatter. Emily could at least escape to her room when it got to be too much. In fact, she had every intention of doing just that. She just needed to grab a new book and a bottled water.
“I know who I’d want to play me,” Andy continued though it appeared Miranda wasn’t listening at all. “Oprah!”
This brought Miranda’s head up and she stared over at Andy as if she’d just had a break with reality.
“I’m just kidding. I wanted to see if you were paying attention. I’d want Meryl Streep to play me,” Andy said wistfully.
“And just what is so interesting about your life that they’d actually make a movie about it?” Miranda asked slowly. Emily smirked at the question. She made her way to the kitchen to grab cold water.
Andy shrugged. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll become a world famous journalist or something. At the very least, I’m dating you. That should count for something.”
“Andrea, preciousness is best left to child actors.” Emily walked back into the room just as Miranda turned back to the Book and stuck a bright green post-it on one of the pages.
“Meryl Streep could play me. She could play anyone. I bet she could even play you.”
“Yes, but you see that’s because I am actually worth talking about,” Miranda replied, a grin dancing on her lips.
Emily was taken for a moment. Miranda so rarely smiled and she wondered, not for the first time, what about Andy brought that out in her usually acrid boss.
“Andrea if someone were going to actually make a movie about your life, I doubt very much that Meryl Streep would be the one to play you. She has a certain kind of grace and poise that you simply do not possess. Perhaps that unattractive girl from the Princess Diaries. Yes, she could play you Andrea.”
Andy gasped. “Are you calling me unattractive?”
Emily made her way up the stairs before she actually laughed out loud.
*****
Emily took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure why she had let Andy get into her head like this, but she hadn’t been able to think of anything else for six months. It was driving her insane.
Serena set her tray down and smiled over at her. “You seem distracted. Are you okay?”
“Yes, of course I’m all right.”
Confusion crossed over Serena’s features, but she shrugged. “How’s living with Andy going? Is she still leaving her cotton bras all over the bathroom?”
“Among other things; it’s been positively dreadful. Thankfully she is going out with her Neanderthal friends tonight. I’ll finally have the place to myself again.”
“I bet that will be nice. Things are dead this weekend. It’s Friday night and I have no plans. How pathetic is that?”
Emily smiled as she took her cue. “Actually, I was going to see if you wanted to come over and maybe have a girls’ night. Andy swears by them, but I certainly can’t have one with her.”
“Of course not. Sure, it sounds fun. I did that once with my sisters back home. It was actually kind of fun. We can watch a movie or two.”
Serena was actually making this a lot easier than Emily had anticipated. “Exactly.”
“Any movies in particular you want to see? There is one I’ve been meaning to watch. I was just told about it. It’s called Imagine Me and You.”
Emily smiled. “I was thinking the same thing.”
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Emily/Andy (friendship), Miranda/Andy, and well you'll see.
Summary: The bits I couldn't fit into Cookies vs. Biscuits
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Devil Wears Prada characters, the lyrics to Cruella DeVil, the Notebook, any of the Golden Girls or Imagine Me and You
A/N: Here are the deleted scenes. Thanks for everyone who read Cookies vs. Biscuits and encouraged this mayhem and foolishness. I hope you enjoy! Thanks to mirandyscrow for all of your help on this including the title :P. Thanks to beachbum3668 for beta'ng this despite all of the comp issues. Enjoy!
Lifestyle of the not so rich and barely famous aka Bonus/Deleted scenes
Emily sat on the couch, looking over the latest issue of Runway. She and Andy had been sitting in the room for about twenty minutes and she could feel the brunette’s eyes burning into her.
“What? What is it?” Emily snapped, tossing the magazine down.
Andy shifted in her seat. “It’s just that…why doesn’t anyone visit you?”
“What are you talking about? You’re here aren’t you?”
“Not me, like friends…you know like you and Serena.” Andy made some gesture with her hand that Emily couldn’t decipher.
“What about us?”
“I thought you two were close.”
Emily considered it. She supposed she and Serena were close, at least closer than she was to anyone else at Runway outside of Nigel. “Perhaps…” Emily answered noncommittally as she picked up the glossy magazine again, causing them to lapse into silence.
“And do you like ever date or anything?”
“What is this, the bloody Spanish Inquisition?”
Andy sat back and folded her arms. “Sorry, I was just trying to make conversation.”
“Well don’t.” Emily fixed her with a glare before looking down at the Chanel ad in the middle of the magazine.
“I just figured you two were dating or something,” Andy muttered, breaking the silence again.
Emily started. Surely Andy hadn’t said what she’d just heard. “Why on earth would you ever think that?”
Andy shrugged. “I don’t know. You two just seemed to be that close. Plus sometimes you’d come back from lunch with Serena all flushed. So it’s not hard to put two and two together.”
This was news to Emily. Did everyone think this? Surely not nothing had ever happened between Serena and her. She had never even considered being that way with another female. Andy, on the other hand, with those chunky shoes and “Well, it isn’t true. It’s absurd that you’d ever even think it. Do not ever speak of it again.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just saying I don’t have any problems with it. So, if you’ve been hiding it for my benefit then-”
“That isn’t ‘never speaking of it again’ is it?” Emily hissed, nearly ripping a page as she turned it.
*****
Emily sniffled, grabbing a tissue. “You’re some kind of witch. I’m sure of it.”
Andy blew her nose and used her clean hand to wipe a stray tear. “See? You really are a romantic at heart,” she husked, her voice nearly gone from having spent the last half hour weeping.
“What bloody movie is this? It has to be some sort of trick. I’m English. I don’t cry.”
“It’s The Notebook, now shh…this is my favorite part.”
*****
Emily could feel her phone vibrating in her bag. She sat the Starbucks tray on the desk before fishing it out.
“Cruella De Vil…Cruella De Vil…If she doesn't scare you…No evil thing will…”
Great, Andy was back to this. It wasn’t her fault that she ‘accidentally’ knocked Andy’s ceramic green bunny off of the shelf while she was dusting. It was repulsive and really Andy should be thanking her.
“To see her is to…Take a sudden chill…Cruella, Cruella De Vil…”
“At least this time she made sure it wouldn’t ever go off during a meeting,” Nigel said as he hurried by.
“Yeah, thank God for small favors,” Emily replied before hitting the talk button. “Hello, Miranda?”
*****
“I’m telling you I’m really good with accents!” Andy insisted.
“Look Andy, I don’t know who filled your head with that silly little notion. Probably some lonely, underpaid high school drama teacher that was looking to get into your knickers, but you have to stop with this obsession. You are not good with accents!”
“Fine, maybe I need to work on my British accent, but I do a really good Southern one. Listen. Whah Biff weah at the foath of Ju-ly picnic, the whole town is heah.” Andy stumbled over her feet and she tried to move like a southern belle. Her voice cracked at the end and Emily winced.
“Just…no.”
“What? You didn’t like it? My friends say I do a good Blanche Devereaux.”
Emily rolled her eyes. “I have no idea who that is, but if they sound like that then they should see a specialist. I’m going to offer you a piece of advice that I’m pretty sure no one has ever told you: get yourself some new friends.”
*****
“Ira Weinstein the summer after my bat mitzvah. It was…pretty awful.” Andy wrinkled her nose in disgust.
“I imagine it would be with a guy named ‘Ira.’ Was he your boyfriend?”
“God no! He was the rabbi’s son. My sisters kept talking about how great it was and I wanted to know what the fuss was about. Believe me there was no fuss. He sweated a lot and it was over pretty quickly.” Emily grimaced as her mind was assaulted with the visuals. “What about you? Who did you lose yours to?”
Emily felt her face turn red and looked away. “Why are we even talking about this?”
Andy squeezed cookie dough from its tube into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “Because you said you’d never been to a sleepover before and that’s what you do. Sit around, eating junk and talking about boys…or girls,” Andy finished with a sly grin.
Glaring, Emily sat back. It was true. She’d grown up an only child and was sent away to boarding school in France at an early age. The girls there didn’t really do things like this. She had to admit, it was kind of fun. “It was out in the stables at school with a bloke named Jack. I’d fancied him for two years and that winter after my sixteenth birthday, we were hanging out in stables and it was really cold. Like freezing cold…he made a fire and we shared a blanket.” Emily blushed again as the memories came back to her.
“That is far more romantic than Ira and me on the quilt my bubby made me when I was a baby.”
“I would hardly call it romantic. I thought my nose was going to ice over, among other things. “
“Oh it totally was. Like something out a movie. I bet that’s why they make ‘chick flicks.’ They’re like aphrodisiacs.”
Emily stared at her in disbelief. “You are a strange bird.”
“No, I’m serious. Think about it romantic movies are designed to make women want to be close to someone.”
“I wouldn’t know.” Emily had never really been taken with a movie in that way.
“No offense, but that’s because British movies kind of suck,” Andy said with a wicked grin and Emily was tempted to smother her with the pillow next to her. “But I bet you’d totally fall for the Imagine Me and You trick.
“What is that?”
“I can’t believe you’ve never heard of that movie! Anyway, it doesn’t matter. It’s this movie and it totally gets you laid,” Andy said with a wink.
“My God, you are so crude.” Emily said, rolling her eyes.
“What? I didn’t say anything dirty. I’ve just heard that it’s one of those ‘sure things.’ I’ve only seen the movie a few times. I can definitely see why. Besides it only works on women.” Andy looked over at her pointedly.
Emily threw the pillow.
*****
Emily sighed as she pushed the door open. It had been a very long day and she was looking to having the next two days off.
“I wonder who would play you in the story of your life,” Andy said to Miranda as she looked over the Book. “Hey, Em.”
Sometimes Emily wondered how Miranda put up with Andy’s incessant chatter. Emily could at least escape to her room when it got to be too much. In fact, she had every intention of doing just that. She just needed to grab a new book and a bottled water.
“I know who I’d want to play me,” Andy continued though it appeared Miranda wasn’t listening at all. “Oprah!”
This brought Miranda’s head up and she stared over at Andy as if she’d just had a break with reality.
“I’m just kidding. I wanted to see if you were paying attention. I’d want Meryl Streep to play me,” Andy said wistfully.
“And just what is so interesting about your life that they’d actually make a movie about it?” Miranda asked slowly. Emily smirked at the question. She made her way to the kitchen to grab cold water.
Andy shrugged. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll become a world famous journalist or something. At the very least, I’m dating you. That should count for something.”
“Andrea, preciousness is best left to child actors.” Emily walked back into the room just as Miranda turned back to the Book and stuck a bright green post-it on one of the pages.
“Meryl Streep could play me. She could play anyone. I bet she could even play you.”
“Yes, but you see that’s because I am actually worth talking about,” Miranda replied, a grin dancing on her lips.
Emily was taken for a moment. Miranda so rarely smiled and she wondered, not for the first time, what about Andy brought that out in her usually acrid boss.
“Andrea if someone were going to actually make a movie about your life, I doubt very much that Meryl Streep would be the one to play you. She has a certain kind of grace and poise that you simply do not possess. Perhaps that unattractive girl from the Princess Diaries. Yes, she could play you Andrea.”
Andy gasped. “Are you calling me unattractive?”
Emily made her way up the stairs before she actually laughed out loud.
*****
Emily took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure why she had let Andy get into her head like this, but she hadn’t been able to think of anything else for six months. It was driving her insane.
Serena set her tray down and smiled over at her. “You seem distracted. Are you okay?”
“Yes, of course I’m all right.”
Confusion crossed over Serena’s features, but she shrugged. “How’s living with Andy going? Is she still leaving her cotton bras all over the bathroom?”
“Among other things; it’s been positively dreadful. Thankfully she is going out with her Neanderthal friends tonight. I’ll finally have the place to myself again.”
“I bet that will be nice. Things are dead this weekend. It’s Friday night and I have no plans. How pathetic is that?”
Emily smiled as she took her cue. “Actually, I was going to see if you wanted to come over and maybe have a girls’ night. Andy swears by them, but I certainly can’t have one with her.”
“Of course not. Sure, it sounds fun. I did that once with my sisters back home. It was actually kind of fun. We can watch a movie or two.”
Serena was actually making this a lot easier than Emily had anticipated. “Exactly.”
“Any movies in particular you want to see? There is one I’ve been meaning to watch. I was just told about it. It’s called Imagine Me and You.”
Emily smiled. “I was thinking the same thing.”