melting down.

[gratefuladdict]

It was a good trip, one of so many. Just you and me, zigzagging down the aisles, cartoonish sound effects for every hairpin turn or sudden reversal. You had just started saying hi to strangers, early and often and without prompting. You even stopped in the crosswalk on the way into the store to wave and say hi to the driver who was patiently

Comments

[mac_arthur_park]

That was amazing, and such an important piece. Thank you.

[gratefuladdict]

Thank you for that. :)

[theun4givables]

This is hard for me to read because I have been there and experienced every single one of these meltdowns. Bob's were thankfully never public, but --

I also avoided taking him into public if I had a way to do it. To avoid the overstimulation. So I could have five minutes where I could breathe without possibly triggering one.

At six he still has them. They're rare now, though, as his verbal ability has caught up a good deal with his age, and we can better communicate and understand one another.

I hated three. Three was Bob's hardest stage, because he had some verbal ability, but no understanding of how conversation worked, and he was all over the place physically, and he was such a mess. Four was easier. Five was even better, because at that point we'd had a good year of support under our belt. Six has been the best, so far.

He loves you. I promise you he does.

[gratefuladdict]

...and now I'm crying. Thank you, Alicia.

[theun4givables]

You're welcome. <3

Reading this reminded me of how hard 3 actually was. It's hard for neurotypical kids, too, but with Bob it was that much harder, I think, because he couldn't communicate to me what was wrong.

It helps when you figure out how to ground them, too. Bob requires more physical stimulation than most kids. He used to wear a compression vest while in school because it helped him a lot. I don't know whether he still does (I should ask during his IEP meeting next week).

Like I said, I've been there and if you ever need to talk about it, message me.

[morlith]

*hugs* Love to all of you. I understand.

[gratefuladdict]

♥

[adoptedwriter]

Hugs...

When my daughter was little she had a hugely explosive temper...even over dumb little stuff. It still flares up in her today as a 20-something, especially if she is also hungry.(Believe me, it's so much better now or she wouldn't be able to keep a job or safely drive a car, but....when it happens it happens!) It's so hard to remember we are not bad parents, it's their personality disorders, not us...still...We are moms and we feel it all...their pain and our own.

I get this...

AW

[gratefuladdict]

It's so true. Our own pain and theirs, intermingled. That must be why it cuts so deep.

[ellison]

Oh mama, I so feel you on this one. My kid might have a sensory thing or maybe anxiety or maybe... ? Maybe nothing at all, I guess, but the rage that pops up sometimes, the intensity of his meltdowns, especially when he was younger, have been brutal. Three was the hardest for us (and a lot of mom friends I've met). I'm glad the checkout clerk had a kind word to say. One time a mom in a parking lot told me, "You're doing good, mom!" as I shuttled my tiny screamer to the car and it really helped

[gratefuladdict]

Thank you so much! I know it happens with a lot of toddlers. It takes some of us a lifetime to learn how to manage our emotions!