I F***ing Do!

[duniazade]

 
Title: I F***ing Do! part 3
Team Name: Spy for the Men in Black
Word Count: 9x100
Rating: M (language)
Challenge: Creative Cursing
Characters: Hermione/Severus, Harry, Ron, Lucius Malfoy

Author’s Notes: This is the third part of the round-robin drabble series “I F***ing Do!”, a Hissing Harpies production relating the true story of the Snape-Granger

Comments

[morethansirius]

It's everywhere! It's everywhere! I thought I would die laughing from the money shot of Firenze. And now Lucius and international intrigue and finance are involved. A wedding at Malfoy Manor would be perfect! I mean, where else can you have all those white peacocks at your wedding?

[duniazade]

*bounces*

Thank you very much! I'm so pleased you're enjoying this series!

I'm sorry for abusing poor Firenze, but what's a girl to do? It was too tempting. As to the white peacocks, you have put the finger right on my deepest, most unmentionable reason for wanting a wedding at Malfoy Manor...

[morethansirius]

I've always suspected Narcissa has been breeding the white peacocks for decades in the vain hope that Draco will marry from the Manor. Of course, she expects them to just stroll by and look pretty. I see the far greater potential for them to create total mayhem.

[duniazade]

I see the far greater potential for them to create total mayhem

Exactly!

*evil cackle*

While I have your attention, how does the cry of the peacock translate into English? Because in French it's interpreted as "Léon, Léon!" which is also a male name.

[m_mcgonagall_65]

The plot continues to thicken... I wonder who could be on the telephone...

[duniazade]

*rubs hands*

Yes, yes, the plot thickens! I hope it will soon look like a yarn of wool in Minnie's claws.

Who could be on the telephone? I'm wondering too... Maybe some Muggles?

Thank you!

[mad_queen_mab]

Excellent. I loved Snape's attitude re: mixing death threats and Aurors. Though, judging by his need for Hangover Potion, he might have forgotten the accepted rules re: mixing liquors.

[duniazade]

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I figured Snape would be more aware than Hermione of the complex web of contradictory obligations one could have - I'm very pleased you have appreciated that moment.

As to mixing liquors, they couldn't refuse Firenze's hospitality after the botched proposal, and centaurs have very peculiar notions about what makes a good cocktail.

[mad_queen_mab]

Perhaps Centaur's metabolisms are better suited than ours to such activities. :)

[duniazade]

It seems so - they probably have two livers, one human and the second equine!

[camillo1978]

I will forever remember this, for the mental image of a perpetually wiggling centaur cock as a newspaper center-fold.

Also, because:

“I’m going to rip her head off and plant her spine in a flowerpot for Crookshanks to piss in.”

Is possibly the scariest thing I've read in fanfic - including the darkfic!

Not only have you made a Romanian connection and littered this set with glorious cursing, you've notched the plot right up and left us with some serious thinking to do! What did I say? Evil, and clever ;-D

[duniazade]

*blushes modestly*

Well, you made Firenze leap, then Buzzy had Rita write all that leering innuendo... I just gave in to the temptation!

Hopefully the Romanian connection will bring even more chaos and bizarre cursing.

And I'm chuffed to bits at being called evil - muhaha! Thank you so much!

[countrymouse1]

The "only" thing this series needs-----is a Spew warning! I very nearly "didn't" have a V-8, as I was just finished taking a sip when I read this line:

“I’m going to rip her head off and plant her spine in a flowerpot for Crookshanks to piss in.”

That was the funniest line for me so far, I suppose because I have that problem with my own cats not being able to recognize the difference between their litter box and my flower pots. But your curses---mercy, girl, how DO you come up with such....creative....phrases? They're wonderful!

Now, with the phone ringing, will Severus' next line be, "Speak of the devil"--??? (grin)

[duniazade]

I'm so sorry for your V-8, but I'm happy it was a near miss! And very flattered that I made you laugh that hard. Thank you!

I have always had the same problem with my cats - it seems they can't differentiate between the litter box and the flower pots. In fact, I think they can, but they prefer the flower pots.

I think indeed that the phone ringing is a case of "Speak of the devil"!