Almost Everything 12/15 [Lure Big Bang]

[gradgirl_07]

Almost Everything Master Post


Chapter Twelve

Lily offered to help Luke finished getting dressed; both men actually thought it might be a good idea. Reid still very much wanted his husband, but he didn’t want to hurt Luke. Also, the last thing he wanted was to be caught making out with his husband at the hospital. He knew if they stayed too close, Reid wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of Luke, and he was glad to know he wasn’t alone.

As Reid headed out to get the car and pull it up front, he heard Lily promise Ethan and Natalie that they would go visit Noah before they left. Reid cringed slightly. He didn’t begrudge his patient visitors, but it was another reminder how much a part of Luke’s life and family Noah was. Reid had none of those things. It wasn’t so much that he wanted them either, being a member of a family, particularly Luke’s family, scared him a little. But the grip that Noah had on Luke tightened slightly with that reminder.

The ride back to their home was filled with oppressive silence. Luke felt he should say something, there was a shift in Reid-a shutter over his eyes. But Luke didn’t want to say anything until they were back at the house and he could hold Reid’s hands, look into his eyes. Luke knew his husband would be annoyed if Luke started with small talk.

Once they pulled into the driveway, Reid was as attentive as ever. The car had barely stopped running before he jumped out and was opening Luke’s door for him. He offered his hand, and it was on the tip of Luke’s tongue to comment on Reid’s chivalrous side. But when the blonde noticed Reid’s eyes cataloging every move to check if Luke was in pain, he offered his husband a tentative smile-anything to crack that wall Reid had erected around himself.

The couple slowly made their way to the house. Once inside, Reid helped Luke to the couch.

“I think I offered breakfast,” Reid commented.

Luke’s stomach let out a rumble, and the younger man blushed. There was a low chuckle from Reid, and Luke was suddenly grateful because it had reduced some of the tension.

“I take it that’s a yes.” The redhead looked at Luke for a moment. “But I can’t provide coffee.”

Luke chuckled and stood up as though he were going to follow Reid to the kitchen.

Reid’s hands automatically reached out for Luke. “What do you think you’re doing?”

The blonde shook his head in confusion. “I was going to make the coffee, while you…I’m not sure what you’re making for breakfast actually.”

“I was thinking omelets,” Reid answered, his gaze narrowed slightly. “But you need to rest.”

“Yes because making coffee can completely wear out a person. Well…” Luke smirked. “Maybe it does for you because you seem to have long arguments with our coffeemaker.”

“It hates me,” Reid said petulantly, which only made Luke laugh again.

“Exactly. So you make the omelets, and I’ll make the coffee.” Luke started to head toward the kitchen but stopped when he noticed Reid wasn’t following him.

“What’s going on? Reid, I promise you, I’m fine,” the blond insisted. He closed the distance between the two of them and took the doctor’s hands. He placed the right one on his chest. “See? I’m right here, and I’m fine.”

“I know.” Reid swallowed. “I know, but…you in the kitchen with me, spending the night with you in your hospital bed…I don’t do this,” he said and took a step and then another back, creating distance between himself and Luke. “I mean, roommates is one thing, but this-” He waved his hand in the space he recently created.

“What?”

“This feels real and domestic.” Reid shook his head at the last word as though he couldn’t believe it was actually coming out of his own mouth. “And you know,” the rate of Reid’s voice started to increase with each word, “I liked sharing a bed with you, even though we didn’t do anything, and I keep thinking about what we can and can’t do especially with you injured, but…”

Luke held up his good hand. “Okay, please stop,” he murmured. “Are you babbling?” he asked incredulously. He reached out for Reid again, his face cupping the redhead’s face and his thumb brushing against Reid’s mouth. “I thought you might have been babbling a little last night, but I couldn’t be sure. Now…”

Reid shuddered softly. “Yes,” he admitted, his lip meeting Luke’s thumb and placing a brief kiss to the pad of Luke’s finger before he pulled away. “And that’s why I can’t do this. You turn me into a babbling teenager.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” Luke told him a smile. “You’re always so calm and in control. Sometimes I wonder if anything gets to you, besides elevators.”

“You do,” Reid admitted, and his gaze couldn’t quite meet Luke’s. “You get to me. You used to make my blood boil with annoyance, and then suddenly I couldn’t not be around you. You’re not like anything I thought you were. I hate being wrong,” he said, his glance meeting Luke’s for a moment.

Suddenly, as if he couldn’t breathe without touching him, Reid’s hand reached up, cupping Luke’s cheek. He smiled softly as the blond instinctively moved closer, leaning into Reid’s touch. The older man’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, trying to find the words. “I know that Noah is your first everything. I know that you love him. You made that abundantly clear from the moment we met. Noah is the love of your life.”

Luke’s hand came up, holding Reid’s in place, so that the doctor was still holding Luke’s cheek in his hand. What Luke didn’t realize was that Reid wasn’t about to let go of him.

“And who am I?” Reid shrugged. “I’m the guy who fixed him, made him better. He’s Noah of the great Luke and Noah. And who am I?” He shook his head when Luke opened his mouth to answer Reid’s question. “No, I’m the guy you talked into a fake marriage. Noah wants you back. I heard him last night, I heard the two of you talking about that wedding you planned and I, I never expected to get married,” Reid told him empathetically. “And yet, here I am, standing in the way of all your plans, of your future with Noah.”

Luke shook his head, and the older man finally let go. This time, Luke reached out for Reid. “You’re-”

“I’m the guy who could fall in love with you next,” the redhead admitted. His gaze never wavered from Luke’s. His voice was low and determined. It was a statement of fact.

Luke was momentarily stunned. He knew Reid could be adamant about what he wanted, and he was always honest. Moving to the knowledge that Reid wanted him, Luke wasn’t sure what to say. His mouth opened, but he knew he would only be filling the air with inane nonsense and that would hurt Reid more than anything else.

The doctor shook his head. “Yeah. See.” He held up his finger. “I don’t like this stuff. I don’t do this.”

“Do what?” Luke murmured. His gaze focused on Reid, praying the right words would come to both of them.

“I told you…”

“You never expected to get married,” Luke guessed, but there was more. For once, though, he didn’t want to supply the words to the other guy. He’d done that enough with Noah, especially when Luke’s ex couldn’t say he was gay or he loved Luke. Luke didn’t want to be in that situation again.

“It’s not that, Luke. I want you; I think that was clear earlier in your hospital room.”

Luke smiled and a blush stained his cheeks as he recalled his mother walking in on them. “You said something about us figuring it out…”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Reid said, and his left hand bounced slightly against his thigh. For a surgeon, it was a terrible habit-whenever nervous or uncomfortable, his hand would tap. Luckily, he felt completely in control in the operating room, and it never became a problem. But put him in front of a 22-year-old who left Reid feeling like a teenager that was a completely different story.

Luke shrugged his good shoulder. “So we’ll…” And with his right hand, he reached out and tugged on the loop of Reid’s pants. “Figure it out,” he murmured, the words blowing across Reid’s lips.

“Shouldn’t you…” The words disappeared when Reid shuddered as Luke’s hand moved, gripping his hip.

“Did you mean it?” Luke asked. This time he completely closed the gap between their bodies. His ribs were still a little tender, but he loved being this close to Reid, feeling his warmth and looking into his eyes. He watched as his pupils grew.

Reid’s whole body was vibrating, anticipation and want coursing through him. His hands reached for Luke, taking their time, and shaking as he tried to hold onto the younger man without hurting him. “Mean what?” Reid whispered.

“Could you love me?” Luke asked. He needed to know what the redhead was thinking. He knew Reid was attracted to him. Luke certainly felt the same way, but hidden in that was Reid’s talk about Noah. The last thing Luke wanted was for this to be a competition.

Before Reid could respond, his pager went off. Luke’s hand fell to his side. Each man took a step back, so Reid could read the message. “I have to go,” Reid said.

“Reid… It’s your day off,” the blonde didn’t want to sound like a petulant child, but they were in the middle of an important conversation. When he looked at Reid, he saw the shutters back up over his eyes, and he realized Reid was already gone.

“I’ll call Katie,” the doctor responded as he headed toward the door. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be. She can have breakfast with you.”

“Reid, I don’t need a babysitter.”

The older man held up his hand in warning. “Don’t argue with me,” he instructed and headed for the door. “I’ll be back when I can,” he called over his shoulder.

*

True to his word, Katie and Jacob were standing on Luke’s doorstep ten minutes later. “I can’t believe he called you,” Luke muttered as he opened the door further.

“How you feeling?” Katie asked. “Reid sounded a little shaken on the phone.”

Luke paused for a moment. It was still new to him, realizing that the man he married actually cared about him. “Yeah. We were going to have breakfast. Have you eaten? I got as far as the coffee.”

“I can make something for you,” Katie said. “Let me just get Jacob set up in his playpen.” Luke had bought an extra playpen soon after they were married, so that Jacob would be comfortable. Reid had made some comment, but when he’d seen the smile on Katie’s face and the glistening in her eyes, Reid grudgingly thanked his husband.

“Oh, you don’t have to,” Luke started to protest, but his side ached and he thought better of it.

Katie offered a sympathetic smile before putting Jacob down. Luke headed toward the kitchen and sat down at the table. His guest came in a few minutes later. “So what can I make you?”

“Reid said something about omelets earlier.”

“Got it.”

She started to pull out the ingredients, and Luke silently watched her. There were too many things going through his mind. Whenever he closed his eyes, he felt like he was back in that hospital bed, surrounded by Reid, listening to his heartbeat, and feeling his body heat. He had felt better the moment Reid had walked into the room last night. But earlier with Noah there, Luke felt completely on edge, afraid he would say the wrong thing. He didn’t know how to be Noah’s friend and didn’t want to hurt the man he had loved for so long. Thinking about the two men made his head hurt and his heart ache.

“Luke?”

His eyes flew open. He noticed the plate of food in front of him, and Katie’s concerned face across from him. “Sorry. This looks great. Thank you.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” She sat down across from him and rested her chin on her hand.

He smiled, realizing she didn’t assume he was in any kind of pain. He’d flashed back to an earlier conversation with her, in which she’d reminded him that she’d lived with Reid longer than Luke had. He did want to talk to Katie, but she was Reid’s friend and not Noah’s. Would she be able offer an unbiased opinion? But who wouldn’t be biased? He heard it in his mom’s voice every time she mentioned Noah. His father had tried the other night, but Luke wanted to talk to Katie.

“Katie…” He sighed. “I don’t know what to do.”

“About what?” she asked. “But eat. Reid said I had to make sure you had some food. Oh, and I can give you another dose of pain medication in a couple of hours, but aspirin if you need it.”

He smiled softly. “He’s taking care of me.”

Katie nodded with a smile of her own. “It’s nice to see. Reid’s…he’s different. He’s still abrasive and a pain in the ass.”

Luke chuckled and then reached to hold his bruised ribs. He started to take a couple of bites of his food. “I hope he managed to get something to eat himself. We were talking about breakfast when he had to rush out of here.”

“I think he was more concerned about you,” Katie noted.

“Yeah, and actually we weren’t talking about food when he left.” He took a couple more bites of food, feeling Katie’s gaze on him. “What?”

“Just curious as to what you were talking about,” she replied, giving him a pointed gaze.

“I’m the guy who could fall in love with you next.” Reid’s voice flashed through Luke’s head. “I think my husband’s kind of an idiot.”

She smiled sympathetically. “You’ve realized what every wife has to learn. Not that you’re a-”

He held up his good hand. “No, I get it.”

“So what happened?”

“I’m not really sure,” Luke admitted. “Remember how we were talking about you and Brad, and how…” he paused, not wanting to hurt Katie. “You give your heart to someone; you give it to him to hold and to take care of. And then he’s out of your life. I mean, of course, Noah is not dead and…” He shook his head, trying to figure out his feelings. “I think he wants me back.”

“Noah.”

“Yes, and two months ago, I would have jumped at the chance, but so much has changed. His accident and all of his hurt… When I asked him for a future, he said no.” Luke looked down at his half-eaten breakfast. “I tried to be everything he needed; I called in specialists and got him physical therapy. We begged Reid to come, and when that didn’t work, I…” His voice trailed off, and he winced at the underhanded way he got Reid to Oakdale. They still hadn’t talked about it; Luke didn’t know how his husband felt about how their relationship started. “Well, it doesn’t matter now. Noah’s got his surgery, and he can almost see again.”

“That’s wonderful, Luke,” Katie noted and patted Luke’s hand gently. “But what about Reid?”

He sighed softly. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out. When I found out about the codicil, I didn’t know who I was going to marry, but I knew I couldn’t marry Noah. Do you remember when Noah and I met? That summer we interned at WOAK?”

Katie smiled; she had wonderful memories of her time there and knew that it would hold a special place for Luke as well. “Yes, of course.”

“It seems like another lifetime ago. We’re not…” he paused, thinking of the words. “Anywhere near where we were when we fell in love. And I know that, of course, I’ll always love him. But the first person that I thought of? The first person I asked to marry me? It was Reid. I never considered anyone else.”

She nodded her head, praying that Luke would say these things to Reid. Reid wouldn’t admit it, but she knew he cared more than he let on for Luke. Either Reid was afraid or an idiot like Luke thought because Reid needed to tell Luke these things. “So what do you want?” she asked.

“Reid told me he could be the next man to fall in love with me.”

It took all of Katie’s self-control not to grin and shout an “I knew it!” Keeping her composure, she prompted, “And…”

“Nothing. He got paged and left. But…” Luke sighed. “I feel like he wanted to take it back the moment the words left his mouth.”

“Did you want him to?”

“I have loved Noah for so long, how do I let go of even the possibility?” he asked.

Katie wanted to advise him, but she didn’t know how. The last thing she wanted was for either Luke or Reid to get hurt, and their situation reminded her of the one she was in with Chris. The other day, Alison had told her she suspected Chris had feelings for her. Now at night when thoughts of Brad used to occupy her mind, lately she thought of the kiss she’d shared with Chris. “I don’t know,” Katie admitted. “But if you figure it out, could you tell me?”

Luke quickly recalled their conversation. “Have you and Chris…” his voice trailed off, not sure what he was asking.

She shook her head. “I think he wants to see if we could have a relationship, but it’s like you said. How do you let go?”

“Even when there’s this guy…” Luke’s voice trailed off. Suddenly, he felt a lump forming as he realized so many of his dreams with Noah were gone-even if Noah got his eyesight back completely. There was no going back. Noah had hinted at a future, but was Luke willing to try again? “There’s this guy who makes you feel, feel something you didn’t think you could for anyone else.” Luke looked at Katie. More than anything, he wanted an answer. What should he do?

“When you figure that out,” Katie told him. “Let me know.”

*

Reid was completely exhausted by the time he got home later that day. A major accident and he had back-to-back surgeries. His promised day off disappeared, and he still had to head into work the next day, wanting to keep his appointment with Miguel’s daughter, Arianna. He had his assistant cancel the rest of his appointments, not wanting to break that one. A part of him knew that Luke would never let him get away with it, and he didn’t want to see the look of disappointment on Luke’s face.

He shook his head as he put his key in the door, now he was letting Luke affect his work life.

When he walked into the living room, he found Luke sitting on the couch.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” were the first words that slipped out of Reid’s mouth.

“Disappointed?” Luke questioned, standing up and slowly making his way toward Reid.

Ignoring the question, Reid asked another one, “Where’s Katie?”

“I sent her home,” Luke commented. With his uninjured hand, he reached out for Reid, his fingertips resting under the doctor’s chin. The blonde’s face searched Reid’s. “How are you feeling?”

Reid jerked away slightly. “I thought that was my question.”

“I’m fine. But you…” Luke looked at Reid again. “You must be exhausted. Want to hop in the shower, and I’ll make you something to eat?”

“God, that sounds wonderful,” Reid replied.

Luke smiled. “Good. Let me take care of you.”

But Reid quickly shook his head. “No, Luke, you should be resting. I don’t-”

“It’s a broken wrist and sprained ribs. I’m fine. Besides, grandma came by earlier. She brought plenty of food.”

Reid’s ears perked up. One of the few bright spots of dinner with the Snyder family had been Emma’s food, and the other was Luke bringing Reid to meet his family. Reid knew it had been a big step for Luke, even if the night had been awkward. “What she’d bring?” he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

Luke chuckled. “I love your obsession with food. Everything I can reheat while you shower. There’s ham and potatoes. She even made an apple pie.”

“Pie?” Reid’s mouth started to water.

The blonde quickly closed the distance between them. He’d rarely seen Reid like this, and it was a bit of a turn on actually to see Reid smile and let go some of his barriers. He brought his mouth to Reid’s ear. “Even real whipped cream,” he whispered.

Reid shuddered slightly at the thought of whipped cream and Luke.

“What do you say?” Luke asked, rolling back on the balls of his feet.

“Uh, what?”

The younger man grinned. He knew they still had a lot to talk about, but he never realized how much fun it could be to flirt with his husband. “Dinner? I’ll heat the food while you shower?”

Trying to get a control of himself Reid nodded his head. He didn’t want to think about how much he wanted Luke or how nice it was to have someone to come home to. With Katie, he had tried not to disturb her and Jacob, and it wasn’t like she was up waiting with food either. More than that, the rare times during the day when Reid had had a chance to catch his breath, he kept thinking about Luke, and that less than 12 hours ago, he was in one of the rooms in the hospital. More than anything, he wanted to grab his phone and call home to hear Luke’s voice.

Reid was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t feel Luke reach for him again. The blonde’s hand was on his waist, and then he felt the gentle pressure of Luke’s mouth against his. It was a brief kiss, soft and gentle, but holding the promise of more though. “I just had to do that,” Luke admitted. “So, go shower and I’ll have dinner ready when you come out.”

Reid nodded his head in response and headed for his bedroom. His legs felt like they were about to give out, and he wasn’t sure if it was exhaustion from the day or the touch of his husband’s lips.

When Reid got out of the shower, he threw on his clothes and ran a towel over his wet hair a few times. The smell of dinner greeted him as he walked out of his bedroom. He made his way down the hall and hesitated in the doorway of the kitchen.

Luke was moving slowly around the room. The table was set, and he brought over two bottles of water. He was humming tunelessly. The scene was domestic and terrifying.

Reid took a step and then another back. Nothing has happened, he assured himself. You only married the guy, spent the night in his hospital bed, and now he’s fixing dinner. He felt another panic attack coming on.

“Reid?” Luke hadn’t heard anything for a while, and he came to check on the older man, to make sure he hadn’t fallen asleep in the shower.

Reid was leaning against the wall, and his eyes were closed. His breathing was slightly labored.

“Hi,” Luke whispered.

The redhead’s eyes flew open. “Hi.”

Luke stood for a moment not moving, simply standing in front of Reid. “Are you hungry?” he asked gently. He could tell his husband was on the verge of a panic attack, but Luke couldn’t figure out why.

His heart racing in his chest, and he felt the familiar beads of sweat start to form-first on the back of his neck then his forehead. “Yeah,” he responded. He was hungry and tired, and he wanted to wrap his arms around Luke and not have it hurt him.

“Then come on,” Luke said with a shrug, and he held out his hand.

“Luke-”

“All right.” He nodded his head, and with both hands, careful of the brace this time, Luke held Reid’s face. “Close your eyes.”

Reid did as he was instructed.

“So picture that tangled mass of gray spaghetti,” Luke said, and his fingers reached up, gently massaging Reid’s scalp. He had remembered how comforting this had felt the previous evening. “Think about what it does…thinking, talking, walking…chocolate and the Godfather movies…”

Slowly, the doctor’s heartbeat began to return to normal, and he concentrated on the feel of Luke’s fingertips, the lifeline out of his panic. He tried not to think that this was another reason why he was feeling the way he was-getting close to Luke, being vulnerable, their lives becoming even more entangled. His eyes opened, and he found himself staring into Luke’s brown ones.

“Did it work?” the blonde checked.

“Yeah,” Reid replied, taking a breath. “Thank you.”

The younger man nodded his head and smiled. “Good. You must be starving,” he noted and untangled his hands, turning and heading back toward the kitchen.

Reid was grateful that Luke didn’t ask the source of his panic. He took another deep breath and wiped his sweaty palms on his thighs before following Luke into the kitchen. By the time Reid got there, Luke was sitting down. He gave Reid a soft smile before the redhead sat down as well. They ate in relative silence for a few minutes.

Then Luke cleared his throat. “Uh, how was your day?”

Reid almost chuckled, it was just the type of thing he expected Luke to say, but he didn’t want to hurt the blonde’s feelings either. “There was a bad accident, four-car pile up.”

“Oh, those poor people,” the words were almost a whispered prayer.

In the midst of chaos, Reid can let it go, not think of the family members or the life the patient has outside of his operating room. He is in this zone: find all the problems and fix them. “Yeah, I had back-to-back surgeries. They should be fine,” he assured Luke.

“What kind of cases?” Luke asked.

Reid swallowed and took a sip of water before responding. He wasn’t sure what Luke was asking. “Excuse me?”

“What were the problems? I mean, I know head trauma,” he answered. “But what was wrong exactly?”

The doctor started to describe the cases, the people they had helped. Luke had remembered quite a bit from their time prepping for the hearing. Reid had gone into extensive detail describing the brain and Annie’s case. Whenever Luke had a question, he would ask, and Reid didn’t mind answering. It was nice actually having someone to go over his day with, to let go of what he had seen and the anguished looks on the family members.

When they had exhausted Reid’s day and Reid had finished most of the food Luke’s grandmother had brought over, the doctor asked Luke how he was doing.

“I’m fine, Reid, I promise,” Luke assured him.

“Would you tell me otherwise?” Reid asked, leaning back in his chair, watching the answer flicker across Luke’s eyes even before he opened his mouth.

“Not sure,” the blonde admitted. “I don’t remember the accident. I’m still a little sore, but everything’s manageable. What I remember, what I see when I close my eyes, is the look on your face when you saw me in that hallway. I know it was barely twenty-four hours ago, but I can’t forget it.” He sighed. “I hope in a couple of days to get back to work. I looked over a couple of contracts earlier.”

“Wasn’t too difficult?” Reid checked. His hand tapped against the table, anxious to reach over to Luke.

“Nah.” He shook his head. “I know if I’m home any longer than that, I’ll just go completely stir-crazy.” The blonde stood up and took his plate over to the dishwasher.

Reid followed close behind him. He told Luke to stay still while Reid finished clearing the rest of the table.

“So…” Luke said, his hip leaning against the counter. “Why did you panic earlier?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Reid answered. He was standing across from Luke, mirroring the blonde’s stance.

“Fine.” Luke crossed his arms over his chest. “Then do you want to talk about the fact that you said you could fall in love with me and then walked out?”

The doctor almost rolled his eyes. “I had an emergency,” he said pointedly.

Rarely did Luke let Reid’s attitude deter him. He tried to give as good as he got. But lately, when he realized his feelings were running deeper than he ever expected, Luke would sometimes back down or step away. This time though, Luke wasn’t going to be deterred. “You were getting ready to walk out before that.”

“All right. We’ll talk but not in here. I don’t want to have to worry you’re going to fall over.” He reached out and took Luke’s hand, leading him into the living room.

They sat down and Luke looked at Reid expectantly, but Reid had one more condition. “You first,” the redhead stated.

“What do you want me to say?” Luke questioned.

Reid took a breath, his gaze never wavering from Luke’s. “I want you.”

Luke felt the breath leave his body. He knew Reid was attracted to him, and Luke wanted him back. However, the pure honesty was something Luke wasn’t used to. He tried to ignore the voice in his head telling him how much more attractive Reid became in that moment.

But Reid wasn’t done talking yet. “Does it matter that I could have feelings for you? Do you even care?”

His quiet desire gave way to stunned silence for a few moments. “How could you ask me that?” Luke sputtered.

A bitter bark of laughter slipped past the redhead’s lips. “Because every time I turn around, Noah’s there. He’s in every conversation, he’s in your hospital room, and you’re on the phone with him. I know you keep telling me about how important it is to support the whole person with this new wing. I get that. As I doctor, I get that. As the guy who married you, I have to ask…” Reid reached across the back of the couch, and his hand reached out for Luke’s. “When you’re with me what do you think about? Are you biding your time until you can see him again or-”

“Twelve years,” Luke said, his palm turning over so he could grip Reid’s hand as well. But in his surprise, the doctor let go.

“What?”

Luke shifted over on the couch, moving closer to Reid. “That’s what I think about. The 12 years that separate us. You’re this amazing, brilliant man. We just sat in that kitchen, and you told me about the two people whose lives you saved today. After working six days straight and spending most of the night in an uncomfortable hospital bed with me, on little sleep and even less food, you did that.”

Reid shook his head and reached for Luke’s hand again. “It’s my job.”

Feeling sorry for himself, Luke thought about his “job” and how they had met. “And I’m just the spoiled brat you married, right?”

Reid shook his head with a smile. “I don’t think of you that way, I haven’t…not in a long time.”

“But you’re still this grown-up.”

The redhead wasn’t sure that he liked where this conversation was going. In a way, he was grateful that he wasn’t the only one feeling a little insecure. But what Reid couldn’t figure out was what Luke was so worried about. “Luke, when you talk like that, you make me sound like this old man who’s taken advantage of you.”

Luke tried to move closer again. “That’s not what I meant.” His hand rested on top of Reid’s, tapping slightly. “You’re complete. You have a career and a life before I dragged you here. You probably even had a mortgage.”

Reid chuckled softly, and his free hand bounced against his thigh. “Yes and a mountain of student loans I finally paid off. But Luke, I’m not complete, not anywhere close. What does my student loans and mortgage have to do with-”

“I feel like you’re done, you’re there,” the younger man said empathetically. “You know what you want out of life, and you’ve been accomplishing that. I have the foundation and the shipping company, but I feel like…Noah has been my focus. He’s been what I was working for.”

“And now that he’s better?” Reid asked, and he tensed silently, waiting for any clue that Luke had one foot out the door already.

Luke shook his head, and his grip tightened slightly. “He’s not my everything any more. And all day, since you left here, all I can think about is you telling me that you could love me, and I don’t know if you meant it.”

“I don’t know either,” Reid admitted truthfully.

The younger man’s slipped away from Reid’s, and he gasped a small, “Oh.” He sounded like a wounded bird.

Reid shook his head and stood up. He didn’t do this. Why was it that this 22-year-old made him want to? He moved and kneeled down in front of Luke, reaching for the blonde’s face. “I don’t have relationships, Luke. I don’t do things that are messy or complicated. And I never expected to want you.” His thumb moved, rubbing gently across Luke’s cheek. “You’re right I have a career and I had-well, not really a life.” He shrugged and his grasp on Luke loosened a little before he reached for the blonde again. “I had my work in Dallas, and that was fine with me. I had dates but not relationships. I’m a surgeon. We find the bad thing, and we cut it out. In a relationship, something bad happens, you’re not supposed to cut and run. I never really learned that, and I never wanted to.”

Luke leaned in closer, so that Reid’s grasp was less tentative. “Do you want to with me?”

He grimaced slightly. “Everything about you makes me want to run in the opposite direction.”

“I see,” Luke replied and pulled out of Reid’s grasp, standing up and heading out of the room.

“Luke!” Reid called after him, standing up as well.

The blonde turned. He was bruised and battered enough; he didn’t know if he could take any more. “What?” he asked.

Reid slowly made his way toward his husband. “Every time I am with you, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop-for you to tell me this is it, that this fake marriage is over, and your break with Noah, that’s over as well.”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Luke admitted.

While it was the answer he was expecting, it still hurt. “Then don’t say anything. Don’t come to me until you can tell me what you really want…even if it’s not me.” And because he couldn’t help himself, Reid brushed his lips against Luke’s before heading to his study.

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Thank you for still reading. We're getting down to the last few chapters.  Will Luke and Reid ever figure it out?

Onto Chapter Thirteen…