Sonata for the TARDIS in D -- It's Just Sex, Sex, Sex With You People
Title: Sonata for the TARDIS in D
Chapter Three: It's Just Sex, Sex, Sex With You People
dwtwprompts prompt: Rome
Date Written: 5/31/08
Rating: R/M, just to be safe
Word Count: 1,873
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Characters/Pairings: Doctor, Donna, Jack/Ianto, OC
Spoilers: Doctor Who up to current season, Torchwood seasons 1 & 2.
Warnings: Mentions sex and drinking
Author's Notes: And this plot bunny can be blamed on xandra_ptv.
1/?: And So It Begins
2/?: Time Travel Messes With Your Senses
The Doctor's traveling routine was as follows:
1.) Land (usually by or narrowly avoiding crashing).
2.) Get out and look about a bit to figure out where and/or when you were.
3.) Find something wrong.
4.) Fix it.
5.) Get the hell out.
It was nice and efficient, and Ianto could appreciate it. Since history tended to be marked via tragedies or wars, he'd been able to see many important things
that hadn't even been in the original travel itinerary: The downfall of Rome. The American Revolution (where he'd inadvertently given a charming lady named Betsy the pattern for the American flag. Jack was still teasing him over that one). The reign of Bloody Mary. Wars that wouldn't occur within his normal lifetime, or on his home planet, or to his own people.
There were, however, the high points, times when the Doctor took them to see some of humanity's brightest spots, times that went without a hitch: The Apollo moon landing. The fall of the Berlin wall. Humans existing throughout time and space, same as ever, still being oh-so-human.
Sometimes Ianto wondered if his race were a virus, inflicting itself upon the universe. It was comforting, however, to know that eventually, far far down the road, they learned their lessons and learned to coexist with people who were so different from them. Humans in his time couldn't even get along with people who were just a little bit different from them.
Donna called the Doctor a trouble detector, and Jack had explained that Time Lords could see all of space and time, knew that some things had to happen or they would form paradoxes, that it would split whole universes and throw the future into jeopardy.
Jack was from Ianto's linear future. That was more than reason enough to protect it at all costs.
This time the trouble was coming from a planet inhabited by a race of sentient lizards that were six feet tall and walked upright. They reminded Ianto of human-sized dinosaurs, and he felt a slight twinge at the memory of Myfanwy. Poor girl, he hoped the others were treating her right.
They had landed during the middle of some sort of festival, which had turned out to be a huge intergalactic Bacchanal, all races and sexes and some aware species of plants congregating, getting drunk on what passed as liquor here (it tasted like fire and vinegar. Jack loved it, and Ianto refused to be kissed by him until he'd brushed his teeth) and having wild cavorting sex in semi-darkened alleyways.
"Oh my God," Donna swore, moving her hand to one side of her head and turning her eyes. "Do these people have no sense of decency?"
The Doctor laughed. "Humans did this sort of thing not too long ago, by your reckoning."
"Bollocks."
"No, the Doctor's rather right," Ianto replied, stepping carefully around a puddle of something wet that he didn't want to think too hard on. "Fertility rites were widespread among the ancients. The Romans and the Celts, for instance, had huge fertility festivals."
The other three stopped and looked at Ianto, the Time Lord raising an eyebrow as he studied the young immortal. "What?" Ianto asked. "Propagation of the species is the driving force of the universe, and if pleasure is derived from it, then all the better."
The Doctor's smile slowly slid across his face, eyes sparkling in quiet laughter. "Quite the know-it-all, Ianto Jones."
"My Ianto knows everything," Jack replied, wrapping his arms around his lover from behind and pressing a possessive kiss on Ianto's neck.
"I know everything. And it says so on the bottom of the screen."
"That is my job, sir," Ianto said as he leaned back into Jack's embrace, turning his head to smile at him. "Besides, sex is natural. There was nothing shameful about it to the ancients."
"Nothing shameful about what you do either," Jack teased softly, nipping his ear gently.
Ianto managed not to blush. Barely.
Jack kissed Ianto's ankle softly, making Ianto groan a little. "Jack, stop distracting me," the Welshman fussed, his eyes closed.
The low, rolling laugh slid upwards. "Distractions are needed, Yan," the Captain replied, kissing his ankle again. "We have to practice building up mental barriers, and if you can't keep them up with a few little distractions..."
Long fingers slid teasingly up Ianto's inner thighs, making the younger man shiver. "Jack."
Jack laughed and crawled up the bed to kiss Ianto. "How about we work on a more literal application?"
Predictably, the trouble was coming from the large temple in the center of the town. Ianto thought it looked a bit like an alien Taj Mahal, all spired domes and sandy mud-brick and manicured gardens. Jack was next to him, pressing buttons on his Vortex Manipulator. "All right, energy signal's definitely coming from in there, nice and strong. Could be dangerous."
"Could just be nothing," Ianto argued.
"It's not worth the risk," the Doctor said, and just like that it was decided.
"I guess we should get in the queue then," Donna said, tucking a stray piece of hair back before pointing to the large archway. A line of aliens were slowly filing though after passing one of the human dinosaurs standing guard.
When they got to the front, the lizard stopped them. "Are all four of you together?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly.
"Oh, no way!" Donna cried in response. The Doctor shook his head as well, scratching at his ear in what Ianto recognized as a slightly nervous gesture.
"We are!" Jack called out, grabbing Ianto's hand and pulling him forward. He fished out the Vidara necklace out of his shirt, flashing it at the alien. "See?" he prompted when Ianto did the same.
The guard snorted. "Anyone can wear a piece of metal. Prove it."
"Oh, you shouldn't have done that, mate," Donna said lowly, crossing her arms across her chest.
Jack grinned and spun Ianto around, pulling him close and kissing his young lover passionately, a hand disappearing underneath the back of Ianto's shirt. Ianto, in turn, slanting his head to deepen the kiss, his hands grabbing onto Jack's braces and pulling him even closer.
The Doctor groaned a little, covering his face with his hands.
"Show-offs," Donna grumbled.
The guard waited patiently for the two immortals to break apart, gasping for air. His mouth stretched into a slightly-frightening grin, showing far too many sharp teeth for Ianto's comfort. "Must be our year for humans," he said before jerking his head towards the door. The four of them stepped forward, but the guard's weapon (a sort of spear made of rainbow-metallic and crystal materials) slid in front of the Doctor and Donna.
"You said we could go in!" the redhead argued.
"I said they could go in," the guard growled. "Unless the two of you are wanting to participate in the rites as well."
Ianto's eyes widened at that, all the pieces clicking together. Religious temple, fertility festival, mostly couples entering... "Oh, fuck me," he swore softly.
"That's the general idea," Jack teased back, taking Ianto's hand. "Doc, Donna, see you later!" he called out, giving them a little wave. "Don't wait up!" he added, pulling Ianto into the murky darkness of the temple.
Donna and the Doctor retreated to a safe distance, the redheaded human still glaring at the guard standing at the entrance to the temple.
"Oh stop it," the Doctor told her. "He's got his rules."
Donna huffed a little. "So, that didn't work. Plan B?"
"Plan B it is." The Doctor waited a beat, his hands in his pockets before he looked over at Donna. "What's Plan B?"
She gave him a look that clearly said 'Are you serious?' "Breaking in, hello."
"Ah." The Time Lord shrugged. "Sounds good. That's usually my Plan A, anyway."
Donna face was redder than her hair by the time she and the Doctor found the other two Companions. The Doctor himself was trying hard not to stare, attempting to maintain his mask of total neutrality. He'd seen orgies before anyway, late Rome was particularly fond of them, but it was always interesting to watch the mating dances of other species and oh, hey, those two races were mortal enemies, that would be fun to explain in the morning.
Ianto's face was impassive as he pointedly did not stare at the writhing mass at their feet. Jack looked like he'd love nothing more than to tear off his clothes and join in the fun.
"So... really?" Jack's voice, barely heard over the noise the crowd emitted. They hadn't caught sight of the Doctor or Donna.
"No." Ianto's voice was the one of a long-suffering partner. Oh, they were a match made in Heaven.
"C'mon, Yan," Jack whined a little. "It'll be fun!"
"No, Jack."
"Maybe someday?"
"In about a million years. Maybe. No promises."
The two travelers were standing right behind the couple, so they both heard every word when Jack leaned in to murmur into his lover's ear. "Oh, think about it, Yan. All those people staring at you, at us, getting off on you getting off. It's hot and you know it."
Donna turned an even darker shade of red. The Doctor had never seen that color on a human before. Well, there was that one time, but that didn't really count, since it had been dye.
He cleared his throat, and the two immortals turned to look at him. "If you're quite finished, we'd like to figure out what the problem is and get out of here before Donna's head explodes."
Jack gave her his trademark lecherous grin, but Ianto didn't miss a beat. "We've found the problem sir," he said, pointing across the throng to a raised stone altar. A round sphere sat on the altar, a pink-red-purple gas swirling around behind the glass enclosure.
"Oh! I haven't seen one of those in ages!" the Doctor exclaimed, pulling out his glasses and peering over Ianto's shoulder at the sphere.
"What is it?" Donna asked, her blush fading a little as she concentrated on the sphere.
"It's a fuel sphere for a Jinetian ship," Jack told her. "Jinetians used emotional energy for their engines."
"Jinetians were high level telepaths," Ianto explained, giving her a small smile. "Most of their ships have enough crew generating enough positive emotion to keep themselves in flight, but occasionally they need an extra boost." He gestured to the sphere.
"Emotional energy trapped in the spheres," Jack cut in, picking up the line of explanation from Ianto. "They had these huge factories, aliens producing energy, forcing it into those spheres and then selling them. That sphere contains sexual energy. Thus the sex cult."
"Oh, it's gorgeous," the Doctor breathed. "They haven't in production for ages, long before I was born. One must have fallen planet side, or got traded or left behind a long time ago." He straightened and took his glasses off. "The energy seeps out sometimes, affects the inhabitants. They congregate here and -- well, Exhibit A -- and recharge it."
"It's a big sex battery," Donna said slowly.
"It'd make one hell of a vibrator," Jack said, grinning when Ianto elbowed him in the stomach.
ETA: Chapter four here
Chapter Three: It's Just Sex, Sex, Sex With You People
dwtwprompts prompt: Rome
Date Written: 5/31/08
Rating: R/M, just to be safe
Word Count: 1,873
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Characters/Pairings: Doctor, Donna, Jack/Ianto, OC
Spoilers: Doctor Who up to current season, Torchwood seasons 1 & 2.
Warnings: Mentions sex and drinking
Author's Notes: And this plot bunny can be blamed on xandra_ptv.
1/?: And So It Begins
2/?: Time Travel Messes With Your Senses
The Doctor's traveling routine was as follows:
1.) Land (usually by or narrowly avoiding crashing).
2.) Get out and look about a bit to figure out where and/or when you were.
3.) Find something wrong.
4.) Fix it.
5.) Get the hell out.
It was nice and efficient, and Ianto could appreciate it. Since history tended to be marked via tragedies or wars, he'd been able to see many important things
that hadn't even been in the original travel itinerary: The downfall of Rome. The American Revolution (where he'd inadvertently given a charming lady named Betsy the pattern for the American flag. Jack was still teasing him over that one). The reign of Bloody Mary. Wars that wouldn't occur within his normal lifetime, or on his home planet, or to his own people.
There were, however, the high points, times when the Doctor took them to see some of humanity's brightest spots, times that went without a hitch: The Apollo moon landing. The fall of the Berlin wall. Humans existing throughout time and space, same as ever, still being oh-so-human.
Sometimes Ianto wondered if his race were a virus, inflicting itself upon the universe. It was comforting, however, to know that eventually, far far down the road, they learned their lessons and learned to coexist with people who were so different from them. Humans in his time couldn't even get along with people who were just a little bit different from them.
Donna called the Doctor a trouble detector, and Jack had explained that Time Lords could see all of space and time, knew that some things had to happen or they would form paradoxes, that it would split whole universes and throw the future into jeopardy.
Jack was from Ianto's linear future. That was more than reason enough to protect it at all costs.
This time the trouble was coming from a planet inhabited by a race of sentient lizards that were six feet tall and walked upright. They reminded Ianto of human-sized dinosaurs, and he felt a slight twinge at the memory of Myfanwy. Poor girl, he hoped the others were treating her right.
They had landed during the middle of some sort of festival, which had turned out to be a huge intergalactic Bacchanal, all races and sexes and some aware species of plants congregating, getting drunk on what passed as liquor here (it tasted like fire and vinegar. Jack loved it, and Ianto refused to be kissed by him until he'd brushed his teeth) and having wild cavorting sex in semi-darkened alleyways.
"Oh my God," Donna swore, moving her hand to one side of her head and turning her eyes. "Do these people have no sense of decency?"
The Doctor laughed. "Humans did this sort of thing not too long ago, by your reckoning."
"Bollocks."
"No, the Doctor's rather right," Ianto replied, stepping carefully around a puddle of something wet that he didn't want to think too hard on. "Fertility rites were widespread among the ancients. The Romans and the Celts, for instance, had huge fertility festivals."
The other three stopped and looked at Ianto, the Time Lord raising an eyebrow as he studied the young immortal. "What?" Ianto asked. "Propagation of the species is the driving force of the universe, and if pleasure is derived from it, then all the better."
The Doctor's smile slowly slid across his face, eyes sparkling in quiet laughter. "Quite the know-it-all, Ianto Jones."
"My Ianto knows everything," Jack replied, wrapping his arms around his lover from behind and pressing a possessive kiss on Ianto's neck.
"I know everything. And it says so on the bottom of the screen."
"That is my job, sir," Ianto said as he leaned back into Jack's embrace, turning his head to smile at him. "Besides, sex is natural. There was nothing shameful about it to the ancients."
"Nothing shameful about what you do either," Jack teased softly, nipping his ear gently.
Ianto managed not to blush. Barely.
Jack kissed Ianto's ankle softly, making Ianto groan a little. "Jack, stop distracting me," the Welshman fussed, his eyes closed.
The low, rolling laugh slid upwards. "Distractions are needed, Yan," the Captain replied, kissing his ankle again. "We have to practice building up mental barriers, and if you can't keep them up with a few little distractions..."
Long fingers slid teasingly up Ianto's inner thighs, making the younger man shiver. "Jack."
Jack laughed and crawled up the bed to kiss Ianto. "How about we work on a more literal application?"
Predictably, the trouble was coming from the large temple in the center of the town. Ianto thought it looked a bit like an alien Taj Mahal, all spired domes and sandy mud-brick and manicured gardens. Jack was next to him, pressing buttons on his Vortex Manipulator. "All right, energy signal's definitely coming from in there, nice and strong. Could be dangerous."
"Could just be nothing," Ianto argued.
"It's not worth the risk," the Doctor said, and just like that it was decided.
"I guess we should get in the queue then," Donna said, tucking a stray piece of hair back before pointing to the large archway. A line of aliens were slowly filing though after passing one of the human dinosaurs standing guard.
When they got to the front, the lizard stopped them. "Are all four of you together?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly.
"Oh, no way!" Donna cried in response. The Doctor shook his head as well, scratching at his ear in what Ianto recognized as a slightly nervous gesture.
"We are!" Jack called out, grabbing Ianto's hand and pulling him forward. He fished out the Vidara necklace out of his shirt, flashing it at the alien. "See?" he prompted when Ianto did the same.
The guard snorted. "Anyone can wear a piece of metal. Prove it."
"Oh, you shouldn't have done that, mate," Donna said lowly, crossing her arms across her chest.
Jack grinned and spun Ianto around, pulling him close and kissing his young lover passionately, a hand disappearing underneath the back of Ianto's shirt. Ianto, in turn, slanting his head to deepen the kiss, his hands grabbing onto Jack's braces and pulling him even closer.
The Doctor groaned a little, covering his face with his hands.
"Show-offs," Donna grumbled.
The guard waited patiently for the two immortals to break apart, gasping for air. His mouth stretched into a slightly-frightening grin, showing far too many sharp teeth for Ianto's comfort. "Must be our year for humans," he said before jerking his head towards the door. The four of them stepped forward, but the guard's weapon (a sort of spear made of rainbow-metallic and crystal materials) slid in front of the Doctor and Donna.
"You said we could go in!" the redhead argued.
"I said they could go in," the guard growled. "Unless the two of you are wanting to participate in the rites as well."
Ianto's eyes widened at that, all the pieces clicking together. Religious temple, fertility festival, mostly couples entering... "Oh, fuck me," he swore softly.
"That's the general idea," Jack teased back, taking Ianto's hand. "Doc, Donna, see you later!" he called out, giving them a little wave. "Don't wait up!" he added, pulling Ianto into the murky darkness of the temple.
Donna and the Doctor retreated to a safe distance, the redheaded human still glaring at the guard standing at the entrance to the temple.
"Oh stop it," the Doctor told her. "He's got his rules."
Donna huffed a little. "So, that didn't work. Plan B?"
"Plan B it is." The Doctor waited a beat, his hands in his pockets before he looked over at Donna. "What's Plan B?"
She gave him a look that clearly said 'Are you serious?' "Breaking in, hello."
"Ah." The Time Lord shrugged. "Sounds good. That's usually my Plan A, anyway."
Donna face was redder than her hair by the time she and the Doctor found the other two Companions. The Doctor himself was trying hard not to stare, attempting to maintain his mask of total neutrality. He'd seen orgies before anyway, late Rome was particularly fond of them, but it was always interesting to watch the mating dances of other species and oh, hey, those two races were mortal enemies, that would be fun to explain in the morning.
Ianto's face was impassive as he pointedly did not stare at the writhing mass at their feet. Jack looked like he'd love nothing more than to tear off his clothes and join in the fun.
"So... really?" Jack's voice, barely heard over the noise the crowd emitted. They hadn't caught sight of the Doctor or Donna.
"No." Ianto's voice was the one of a long-suffering partner. Oh, they were a match made in Heaven.
"C'mon, Yan," Jack whined a little. "It'll be fun!"
"No, Jack."
"Maybe someday?"
"In about a million years. Maybe. No promises."
The two travelers were standing right behind the couple, so they both heard every word when Jack leaned in to murmur into his lover's ear. "Oh, think about it, Yan. All those people staring at you, at us, getting off on you getting off. It's hot and you know it."
Donna turned an even darker shade of red. The Doctor had never seen that color on a human before. Well, there was that one time, but that didn't really count, since it had been dye.
He cleared his throat, and the two immortals turned to look at him. "If you're quite finished, we'd like to figure out what the problem is and get out of here before Donna's head explodes."
Jack gave her his trademark lecherous grin, but Ianto didn't miss a beat. "We've found the problem sir," he said, pointing across the throng to a raised stone altar. A round sphere sat on the altar, a pink-red-purple gas swirling around behind the glass enclosure.
"Oh! I haven't seen one of those in ages!" the Doctor exclaimed, pulling out his glasses and peering over Ianto's shoulder at the sphere.
"What is it?" Donna asked, her blush fading a little as she concentrated on the sphere.
"It's a fuel sphere for a Jinetian ship," Jack told her. "Jinetians used emotional energy for their engines."
"Jinetians were high level telepaths," Ianto explained, giving her a small smile. "Most of their ships have enough crew generating enough positive emotion to keep themselves in flight, but occasionally they need an extra boost." He gestured to the sphere.
"Emotional energy trapped in the spheres," Jack cut in, picking up the line of explanation from Ianto. "They had these huge factories, aliens producing energy, forcing it into those spheres and then selling them. That sphere contains sexual energy. Thus the sex cult."
"Oh, it's gorgeous," the Doctor breathed. "They haven't in production for ages, long before I was born. One must have fallen planet side, or got traded or left behind a long time ago." He straightened and took his glasses off. "The energy seeps out sometimes, affects the inhabitants. They congregate here and -- well, Exhibit A -- and recharge it."
"It's a big sex battery," Donna said slowly.
"It'd make one hell of a vibrator," Jack said, grinning when Ianto elbowed him in the stomach.
ETA: Chapter four here