Slipping Through -- Not With A Bang But A Whimper
Book cover by et_muse.
Title: Slipping Through
Chapter Twenty-Six: Not With A Bang But A Whimper
Date Written: 6/10/09
Rating: PG-13/T
Word Count: 1,418
Fandom: Torchwood/FAKE
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Ryo/Dee, Gwen, Tosh, mentioned Martha Jones
Spoilers: Up through Torchwood 02 and FAKE Like, Like, Love and Lost Souls
Warnings: Half-naked boy stuff, nothing to bad
Author's Notes: Much thanks to my beta, muse, and all around idea bouncing board, totally4ryo! And since she did such a MASSIVE bit for Lost Souls, I'm going to do a handful of chapters. You know, pull my own weight around here! Chapter title is from T. S. Eliot's The Hollow Men.
Slipping Through master list found here.
If she'd had the energy, Gwen would have run for her hotel room as soon as Jack handed her the key to her private room. As it was, she stumbled off to the lift after Ryo and Dee, earlier pretenses of Ambassadorships, personal assistants, and fake marriage gone. They'd been through Hell down in the tunnels and the exhaustion was starting to catch up to them.
Ianto, who'd been moving just fine under his own steam since they'd left CERN, started getting more and more visibly tired the closer they got to their room (Martha Jones was a smart woman, she hadn't even bothered wasting money on two rooms). Once they were there, Jack stripped Ianto out of his suit and hauled him into the bathroom for a nice hot shower, massaging away any aches and pains that might be starting to form. They dried off quickly and stumbled to the big king-sized bed, skin breaking out into goose pimples against the cold room air. Ianto curled up against Jack under the covers, nuzzling the chilled skin of the Captain's neck.
Jack buried his face into Ianto's damp hair, pulling him close. "Thought I'd lost you," he confessed, inhaling the hotel shampoo and clean Welshman.
"Thought you might lose me too," Ianto confessed. His breath ghosted over Jack's skin; goosebumps rose again, but for a completely different reason. "There were these voices, dead peoples' voices."
Jack squeezed him tighter and was immensely happy that he'd stayed back with Tosh. The voices the alien would have been able to pull out of his head would have broken his eardrums. "You heard Lisa."
It wasn't a question, and Ianto didn't even try to deny it. "I just still miss her so much," he said quietly, his voice breaking just a hint at the end. Jack made a soothing noise and kissed the crown of his head.
"Of course you do," Jack said, trailing his fingers up and down Ianto's spine. "She was an important part of your life. Forgetting her is disrespectful."
Ianto's lips found his pulse point, pressing lightly for a moment. "Thank you."
"We've had this conversation before," Jack admonished.
"I know, but still..." Ianto nuzzled in again. "Gwen got me out of there."
"And Dee." The Captain kissed Ianto's forehead again. "We owe them."
"Mmm," Ianto agreed, falling quiet. After a moment, however, he let out a quiet laugh. "Gwen said something while I was down there, to get me to stop fighting against her."
"What's that?" Jack asked, holding him close, feeling Ianto breathe and shift and live against him.
"She said there was coffee."
Jack broke out into laughter, tipping his head back against the pillows. "That would be your kryptonite! Ianto, there'll be coffee!"
"Well," Ianto defended, chuckling as well, "she did invoke your name too."
Jack chuckled softly. "Oh yeah? How's that?"
"She said I loved coffee. Coffee and you."
Jack's fingers stilled, the tips barely brushing the curve of Ianto's lower back. "Well..." he trailed off. "You do love your coffee."
"It's a lifestyle," Ianto joked.
Jack chuckled lowly, a band tightening in his chest. He should say it now. Life might not hand him such a gorgeous opportunity again. So why was he so scared to just blurt it out? "And what about the other half of that equation?" he said instead, cursing at how childish he sounded. He'd been living in the past too long, he had.
Ianto lifted his head up from where it was tucked under Jack's chin. He propped himself up on one elbow, gazing down at Jack. After giving Jack a long, probing look, he gave the Captain a tiny, fond smile. "I would think that one went without saying."
The band in Jack's chest pulled impossibly tighter and he found himself gasping for air. "Ianto," he stammered, shocked at how breathless he sounded. "Ianto, I -- "
Ianto quieted him with a sweet kiss. "It's okay," he murmured against his mouth. "I know."
Jack laughed and pulled him down into his arms. "That's another reason why I love you," he said, kissing Ianto again and again. "You know me better than I know myself."
-----
Ryo leaned over and pressed a kiss to Toshiko's cheek, chuckling when she jumped a little. "Good evening, darling wife," he teased her in Japanese before moving around to sit next to her. "Mind if I join you?" he asked, this time in English, falling into their familiar pattern of language switching.
Tosh frowned, studying Ryo before pushing the rest of her white wine towards Ryo. "You look like you could use it more than me," she said.
Ryo chuckled softly but downed the rest of the wine in one swallow. "Thank you, Neesan."
"Where's Dee?" she asked, looking about for the other detective.
"Upstairs. Taking a shower, I think," Ryo said absently, looking down at the now-empty glass. "He's upset."
"I don't blame him," Tosh said gently. "He almost lost his husband and two teammates, not to mention almost dying himself and then coming face-to-face with his long-dead parents. Anyone would have a bit of a breakdown."
Ryo shook his head. "No, I... Tosh, I said some very awful things," he admitted, his voice growing softer. He was ashamed to admit that he'd let the alien affect him that much. "I... I said that he didn't love our son."
"You know that's not true," Tosh said gently. She reached over to take Ryo's hand in hers. "It's harder to fight back against something that's getting in your head. I know."
The half-Japanese detective squeezed her fingers. "I know," he admitted.
Tosh smiled softly. "Ianto told me after... well, you know -- that sometimes they know just how to play off our insecurities. They can plant a seed so deep in your mind that you have no idea what's going on until after it's sprouted."
"Sounds so human," Ryo commented, shaking his head. "The cases I've seen where people exploit others' weaknesses for the tiniest of things."
The Japanese woman chuckled softly. "I know how Bikky and Dee interact. From the outside looking in it's a border-line abusive rivalry. But I know Dee, and I've heard him talk about your son. He adores that boy, and he knows you know that. He'll forgive you."
Ryo slowly pulled his hand away from Toshiko's, burying his face in his hands. "He shouldn't have to," he said softly. "I shouldn't have even said it."
"You've been burying your feelings about being here and away from Bikky," Tosh said, rubbing his shoulder soothingly. "It's hard to be away from family. But... You've still got family upstairs, Ryo."
Ryo raised his face from his hands, his eyes wide with the realization of her words. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Neesan, thank you so much -- "
He broke off as he pushed out of his chair and started running towards the lift.
Tosh grinned and shook her head, signaling to the waiter for another drink.
-----
Ryo burst into the hotel room right as Dee was coming out of the bathroom. One towel was tight around his waist as he rubbed his dark hair dry with another. Dee opened his mouth to say something -- probably to ask what was wrong, or maybe to forgive him -- but was cut off when his husband rushed across the room and kissed him hard.
"I'm sorry," the half-Japanese detective said when they parted for air. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, I'm sorry..." he murmured over and over, clutching at Dee's shoulders and burying his face into his chest.
The dark-haired man led his husband over to the bed, kissing him to stop his litany of apologies as they sat down on the mattress. "It's okay," he said. "It's all right."
Ryo shook his head. "I hurt you," he said brokenly.
Dee didn't even try to deny it. "You apologized," he replied. "And you're forgiven."
Ryo framed Dee's face with his hands. "But I said such horrible things."
"For better or for worse, remember?" Dee reminded him. "I've said some horrible things to you too, and you've forgiven me for them."
The older detective stroked his husband's cheek, giving him a weak smile. "I don't deserve you."
"I know," Dee quipped, making Ryo laugh. "But you've got until our flight tomorrow to make it up to me."
Ryo smiled and kissed him again, chuckling when he and Dee tumbled down onto the mattress.