Different Sort of Science -- Null and Void
Title: Different Sort of Science
Chapter Twenty-Six: Null and Void
Date Written: 10/24/08
Rating: PG/K+
Word Count: 1,060
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Characters/Pairings: Ianto/Jack, Ianto/Lisa
Spoilers: Doctor Who up through Season 04, Torchwood up through 02
Warnings: AU like whoa
Author's Notes: Thanks so much to my gorgeous betas totally4ryo and katestamps, who are my sounding boards, my muses, and betas dedicated enough to call me about fic. Also, I should demand bribes more often, because I have not only one but TWO gorgeous bookends (from et_muse and cjharknessgirl), and an icon (also from cjharknessgirl). They deserve ultimate gratitude for their bribes. Ladies? Thank you so much.
Previous chapters found here.
Book cover by cjharknessgirl
"What happened? What happened?"
"I was in the darkness. There was something, something ..."
"What?"
"What did you see?"
"I don’t know. It was waiting for me."
-- Captain Jack Harkness, Owen Harper and Martha Jones, Dead Man Walking
Being dead, Ianto decided, was horrid.
He'd come to -- that was the best way he could describe it -- in utter darkness. It had even taken him a few moments to realize that he had thoughts running through his head, which meant he had to be somewhere.
Occasionally, he fancied he could hear noises in the background. Indistinct, almost sounding like voices, nearing and departing and nearing again. He figured it was just wishful thinking, or maybe he was going mad, stuck between true death and almost death. When a voice neared again -- lighter, female maybe? -- Ianto impulsively called out to it.
"Just keep talking," the voice said. Definitely a woman's voice. "Tell me about yourself."
"My name's Jones," Ianto started hesitantly, feeling sort of silly. "Ianto Jones. I'm from Torchwood House."
"Keep on," the voice said, getting louder. Something was nearing him, at least. A familiar voice.
"I was born and raised in Wales. I'm the second son of a tailor," he offered. "I have a baby niece and a nephew."
Something touched his hand and Ianto jerked his limb back in shock. "Shh, calm down, Ianto, it's okay," the voice soothed, right in his ear. A voice he knew very well, that he thought he'd never hear again.
"...Lisa?" he asked, feeling breathless despite his lack of need for air.
"Yes, Ianto." She took one of his hands and put it on her cheek. "See?"
Like a blind man, Ianto let his fingers trace over the face under his fingers. One night, he'd taken it upon himself to memorize every inch of her skin. He'd known every curve of her body better than she did. "Oh dear sweet Goddess," he breathed, his fingers slipping down her cheek and chin. "It's you."
He pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry."
Her arms wrapped tight around his waist. "There was nothing you could do," she said softly. "It was painless. And I had a good life. Roger is a good man."
"I know," he murmured, burying his nose into her hair. After a moment, he pulled back. "Where are we?"
"There's no name for it, really," she told him. "The ones who have been here the longest call it the Void, since there's nothing here but darkness -- and us."
"There are others?" he asked curiously.
He could sense Lisa's nod. "Yes. They say that this is a place of waiting. That we stay here until we forget about our old lives, and then we go back." Her shoulders moved up and down under his hands. "They said that sometimes people just... disappear from here."
"You mean, like the priests teach?" Ianto asked. "The old soul theory, that some people are reborn into new bodies?"
"Yes," Lisa agreed. "That's what we think, at least. There's really no way to prove it."
Ianto nodded, forgetting for a moment that she couldn't see him. "I'm glad you found me."
"Sometimes we can tell when a person crosses into the Void," she told him. "Family and friends, mostly. It's hard to describe, a bit like a pull."
"The others you talk about, are they people you knew?" Ianto asked.
"I don't think so," she said. "We bump into each other here in the dark and stick together." She touched his cheek, a note of sadness entering her voice as she asked, "How did you get here?"
Ianto found himself telling Lisa everything that had happened since she'd left. He told her about his Primary, about how he'd killed Gray, which had resulted in her own death. He told her about Jack's heritage and subsequent immortality -- who could she tell like this? -- and about the battle. If he'd been alive, he would have talked himself hoarse.
He pointedly avoided talking about the intimate nature of his relationship with the Time Lord, so he was surprised when she said, "You love him, don't you. Jack."
"I... I love both of you," Ianto replied hesitantly. "It's complicated -- "
"I'm not upset," Lisa cut him off, and he could hear the smile in her voice even if he couldn't see it. "He was there for you when I wasn't. I knew we'd both heal eventually, take other lovers. I only wanted your happiness."
Ianto touched her face, tracing his fingers over her mouth and feeling her smile. "I know," he said softly.
The corner of her mouth swept up higher as her smile widened, and Ianto could see the memory of her brilliant grin in his head. "Oh, I missed you," she said softly. "But I'm glad I got to see you one last time."
"What?" Ianto asked.
Her laugh was as musical as he remembered. "Ianto, knowing what you know about Jack... Do you think something as mundane as death will stop him?"
There was a sharp pain his his chest -- how could he have pain, he was dead -- and he felt something tug him backwards. He stumbled back, still holding onto Lisa. "No. I mean..."
"Ianto, you don't want to be here," she told him, moving so their hands were linked. "You shouldn't be here. You were meant for great things."
"I'm not!" he protested. "I'm just the second son of a tailor. I'm no royal, I'm not clever, I'm no one special."
"Oh, you're so incredibly special," she said, her voice warm with affection. "You just refuse to see it within yourself."
"I'm not leaving you here by yourself," he said firmly. There was another hard tug backwards and he clutched at her hands. Jack needed him, yes, but he also needed to protect Lisa.
"I'll be fine, Ianto," she said gently, squeezing his hands. "You were here when I needed you. Now you need to be with them. They need you."
"But why? The war's over."
Lisa laughed. "Because, you silly, mad man. They love you."
"Don't you love me though?" Ianto asked.
"Oh, I do, so much." She squeezed his hand again. "Enough that I have to let you go."
He was pulled back for a third time, and she let go of his hands. When there was no resistance, the tug intensified, lifting him off his feet. He felt like he was flying backwards through the inky black.
Then he didn't feel anything.
Chapter Twenty-Six: Null and Void
Date Written: 10/24/08
Rating: PG/K+
Word Count: 1,060
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Characters/Pairings: Ianto/Jack, Ianto/Lisa
Spoilers: Doctor Who up through Season 04, Torchwood up through 02
Warnings: AU like whoa
Author's Notes: Thanks so much to my gorgeous betas totally4ryo and katestamps, who are my sounding boards, my muses, and betas dedicated enough to call me about fic. Also, I should demand bribes more often, because I have not only one but TWO gorgeous bookends (from et_muse and cjharknessgirl), and an icon (also from cjharknessgirl). They deserve ultimate gratitude for their bribes. Ladies? Thank you so much.
Previous chapters found here.
Book cover by cjharknessgirl
"What happened? What happened?"
"I was in the darkness. There was something, something ..."
"What?"
"What did you see?"
"I don’t know. It was waiting for me."
-- Captain Jack Harkness, Owen Harper and Martha Jones, Dead Man Walking
Being dead, Ianto decided, was horrid.
He'd come to -- that was the best way he could describe it -- in utter darkness. It had even taken him a few moments to realize that he had thoughts running through his head, which meant he had to be somewhere.
Occasionally, he fancied he could hear noises in the background. Indistinct, almost sounding like voices, nearing and departing and nearing again. He figured it was just wishful thinking, or maybe he was going mad, stuck between true death and almost death. When a voice neared again -- lighter, female maybe? -- Ianto impulsively called out to it.
"Just keep talking," the voice said. Definitely a woman's voice. "Tell me about yourself."
"My name's Jones," Ianto started hesitantly, feeling sort of silly. "Ianto Jones. I'm from Torchwood House."
"Keep on," the voice said, getting louder. Something was nearing him, at least. A familiar voice.
"I was born and raised in Wales. I'm the second son of a tailor," he offered. "I have a baby niece and a nephew."
Something touched his hand and Ianto jerked his limb back in shock. "Shh, calm down, Ianto, it's okay," the voice soothed, right in his ear. A voice he knew very well, that he thought he'd never hear again.
"...Lisa?" he asked, feeling breathless despite his lack of need for air.
"Yes, Ianto." She took one of his hands and put it on her cheek. "See?"
Like a blind man, Ianto let his fingers trace over the face under his fingers. One night, he'd taken it upon himself to memorize every inch of her skin. He'd known every curve of her body better than she did. "Oh dear sweet Goddess," he breathed, his fingers slipping down her cheek and chin. "It's you."
He pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry."
Her arms wrapped tight around his waist. "There was nothing you could do," she said softly. "It was painless. And I had a good life. Roger is a good man."
"I know," he murmured, burying his nose into her hair. After a moment, he pulled back. "Where are we?"
"There's no name for it, really," she told him. "The ones who have been here the longest call it the Void, since there's nothing here but darkness -- and us."
"There are others?" he asked curiously.
He could sense Lisa's nod. "Yes. They say that this is a place of waiting. That we stay here until we forget about our old lives, and then we go back." Her shoulders moved up and down under his hands. "They said that sometimes people just... disappear from here."
"You mean, like the priests teach?" Ianto asked. "The old soul theory, that some people are reborn into new bodies?"
"Yes," Lisa agreed. "That's what we think, at least. There's really no way to prove it."
Ianto nodded, forgetting for a moment that she couldn't see him. "I'm glad you found me."
"Sometimes we can tell when a person crosses into the Void," she told him. "Family and friends, mostly. It's hard to describe, a bit like a pull."
"The others you talk about, are they people you knew?" Ianto asked.
"I don't think so," she said. "We bump into each other here in the dark and stick together." She touched his cheek, a note of sadness entering her voice as she asked, "How did you get here?"
Ianto found himself telling Lisa everything that had happened since she'd left. He told her about his Primary, about how he'd killed Gray, which had resulted in her own death. He told her about Jack's heritage and subsequent immortality -- who could she tell like this? -- and about the battle. If he'd been alive, he would have talked himself hoarse.
He pointedly avoided talking about the intimate nature of his relationship with the Time Lord, so he was surprised when she said, "You love him, don't you. Jack."
"I... I love both of you," Ianto replied hesitantly. "It's complicated -- "
"I'm not upset," Lisa cut him off, and he could hear the smile in her voice even if he couldn't see it. "He was there for you when I wasn't. I knew we'd both heal eventually, take other lovers. I only wanted your happiness."
Ianto touched her face, tracing his fingers over her mouth and feeling her smile. "I know," he said softly.
The corner of her mouth swept up higher as her smile widened, and Ianto could see the memory of her brilliant grin in his head. "Oh, I missed you," she said softly. "But I'm glad I got to see you one last time."
"What?" Ianto asked.
Her laugh was as musical as he remembered. "Ianto, knowing what you know about Jack... Do you think something as mundane as death will stop him?"
There was a sharp pain his his chest -- how could he have pain, he was dead -- and he felt something tug him backwards. He stumbled back, still holding onto Lisa. "No. I mean..."
"Ianto, you don't want to be here," she told him, moving so their hands were linked. "You shouldn't be here. You were meant for great things."
"I'm not!" he protested. "I'm just the second son of a tailor. I'm no royal, I'm not clever, I'm no one special."
"Oh, you're so incredibly special," she said, her voice warm with affection. "You just refuse to see it within yourself."
"I'm not leaving you here by yourself," he said firmly. There was another hard tug backwards and he clutched at her hands. Jack needed him, yes, but he also needed to protect Lisa.
"I'll be fine, Ianto," she said gently, squeezing his hands. "You were here when I needed you. Now you need to be with them. They need you."
"But why? The war's over."
Lisa laughed. "Because, you silly, mad man. They love you."
"Don't you love me though?" Ianto asked.
"Oh, I do, so much." She squeezed his hand again. "Enough that I have to let you go."
He was pulled back for a third time, and she let go of his hands. When there was no resistance, the tug intensified, lifting him off his feet. He felt like he was flying backwards through the inky black.
Then he didn't feel anything.