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Dva t'Koh-Nar [Part Two: Svi-shaya]
. Dva t'Koh-Nar .
"Mental acceptance of and conviction in the truth, actuality, or validity of a cultural fear of emotional vulnerability and exposure, the feeling of being completely exposed in some way."
Part Two: Svi-shaya
Time passed. Some of that was sleeping, since it had been a long time for Spock, but when he finally did wake up, he felt more refreshed and clearheaded than he had for a long time - the best he'd felt since Vulcan had been destroyed.
And then he remembered all the events of the past evening at once, all the heat and emotion and confusion, and he was so startled by it all that he shoved it right to the back of his mind and promptly resolved not to think about it for as long as he could.
As long as he could was apparently only two days long.
It was after hours, not dark of course, since a rotating schedule and unchanging scenery made it so that everyone had a different idea of what 'day' was, but Kirk had left the bridge (or been booted, really, after falling asleep in his chair and being awoken by a very amused McCoy) and it had been in Spock's hands for the past eight hours. It was also very boring.
"I'm going to see if the captain has awoken. Alert me in his quarters if there is any change." He said it to Uhura, but his face remained forward, carefully not singling her out. He'd had to avoid her twice now, and felt worse about it each time. She nodded, though, and he removed himself from the bridge - with only a small sense of relief.
He pressed the buzzer at Kirk's door. He didn't want to be intrusive, but he would rather be intrusive than impolite.
When the door opened, he felt his throat run dry.
Obviously, the captain hadn't bothered at all to make himself presentable, so there he was, his hair mussed from his pillow, eyes bloodshot and clothed in nothing but a pair of boxers - that, curiously enough, had a large symbol upon them that Spock believed represented the old Earth superhero, Batman. It was very eye-catching, and after a quick moment, he flicked his eyes back up to Kirk's face. "I hope I didn't wake you, sir," he murmured, quickly lapsing into politeness to protect himself.
"Nope... come on in." Kirk waved a hand vaguely, and when Spock did indeed follow, he wandered back to his bed and flopped on it, face-first. "Everything all right on the bridge?" His words were muffled by his pillow, and Spock quirked a very small smile.
"Satisfactory," he said evenly, then sidled closer to the bed. "It is nearly time for your shift, so I thought I'd come by to be sure..."
"That I was awake?" Kirk turned his head so he could look up at Spock and smile, and the Vulcan tried to ignore the little funny things that did to his insides. That was undignified. "Yeah, don't worry about it. The doc gave me a sedative and I passed out. No biggie." Clearly, this was at odds with his body language, which seemed to want nothing else to do but fall back asleep.
Spock pulled a chair close, and sat down at the edge of it, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands knitted together in front of him. "Is there... a particular reason for your sudden insomnia? I don't recall you having any sleep issues prior to this."
"No, not really. I mean, not that there's ever been an issue, but I do have a reason, yeah." He pushed himself up a little, enough to see that while he still seemed tired, his eyes were bright and lively as ever.
Spock waited, and when Kirk didn't continue, he lifted an eyebrow at him. "Elaborate, please?"
That made the captain chuckle. "Man, you and Bones. Too curious for your own good. You're not my mom and it's not your problem."
"It is indeed my problem when your insomnia causes a detriment to the running of this ship." Some time ago, perhaps that would have been said with a cutting edge, true displeasure behind it. Now, the edge of Spock's lips lifted in a smile, and there was a light behind his eyes as he teased.
Kirk winced. "All right, all right. You're gonna get your way no matter what, I might as well tell you." He looked up again, and this time, his eyes were piercing. "After all, it's your fault in the first place."
"...My fault? Excuse me?" Both eyebrows went up at that.
"Yeah. Your fault." He let that sink in a minute, until Spock understood what he was referring to. Two nights ago. That was when Kirk had stopped sleeping.
"....Your inability to attain proper rest functions was - "
" - because I was thinking about you and your wicked Vulcan lips and what else we could be doing."
Spock's face suffused slowly chartreuse. "You were - " his voice stuttered in his throat, and Kirk's eyes were turning predatory.
"Yeah." Kirk's voice was low now, and Spock could feel himself responding to it, entirely against his will.
"That's illogical," Spock whispered.
"I want to kiss you again," was the only reply.
Spock leaned forward in his chair and gripped Kirk's shoulder with a vicelike hand, pulling him forward into a kiss that was just as torrid as the one just before they'd been interrupted. He pushed all his worries and thoughts of what he should be doing aside, because clearly there was nothing more important than kissing Captain Kirk like tomorrow wouldn't come.
He dragged one of his hands down Kirk's side, broke the kiss to draw in a deep breath and tilt his head back. This, this was what he'd been trying to suppress - and he was afraid of how much he didn't want to. But it had him like a vice.
Kirk's hand came up and clamped on to Spock's shoulder and he yanked at him, and if Spock had been a little more unwilling or a little less confused, nothing would have happened, but as it was, he accepted the momentum and let himself be pulled, up and over the nearly-naked body of the captain. It was only awkward for a second, when their limbs tangled, but he sorted his knees out, then sat back slightly on Jim's hips - ohyes - and ran his hands down the contours of his fascinating human chest.
Kirk groaned when he felt Spock's hips come into contact with his own, and his hands moved up try desperately to take the other's shirt off, wanting to get to the other's green-tinged skin. Spock nodded quickly, then helped, sliding out of his shirt with a graceful efficiency. He smiled, briefly, then leaned down and dragged his lips along the column of his throat, before dipping his tongue in the hollow at the base of it. "A-ahh..."
He pulled the other's face back to his to lock him in another kiss, pulling Spock tight against him, wanting to feel his body against his. Their hips ground together again, and he moaned into the kiss, mindless with passion and pretty damn sure he'd never been turned on by anyone, ever. Kirk could never be called an inconsiderate lover, but it was never like this, it was never like fire and passion and so much fucking heat that he lost his mind.
Yes... yes. It was all that Spock was thinking, all he could possibly think, at this moment. He wanted this, and as illogical as it was, it would also be illogical for him to deny so blatant a truth.
He rocked their bodies together, drawing a hiss from his own throat. It felt so good, so good to feel that friction between them. And if they were a little closer, and a little less clothed... a hand slid between them and started working on the fastenings of Spock's pants, which of course, was precisely when the door buzzer sounded.
Spock swore under his breath, soft but heated, and nimbly rolled off on the opposite side of the bed, gesturing for Kirk to get the goddamn door like a good captain. He stayed there, panting and uncontrolled, as Kirk made fast lies to McCoy about not having seen Spock at all.
When Kirk turned back, he would find Spock with his shirt back on and hair neatened, looking like he just happened to be sitting on Kirk's bed and nothing had happened. La di fucking dah, Kirk thought, no small amount of jealousy in his mind. "That was too close," he said, shaking his head and letting out a sigh of relief.
"Agreed," Spock said, in a mild tone, then looked up at Kirk with dark eyes and a mouth that held a hint of a smirk. "Perhaps we should choose a better time, to continue."
The captain smirked at him, and it wasn't James Kirk the womanizer, it was just Jim, and pure wicked pleasure sparking his eyes. "Hopefully sooner rather than later."
"Definitely," he murmured in that quiet, precise tone, before standing up deliberately, slowly, and moving past Kirk with a liquid grace that was specifically calculated to inspire a response. If the Doctor needed to see him, he should probably be on his way.
I am going insane, Spock decided, as he walked down the hall to the medical wing, his hands tucked neatly behind him. I am going insane, and it is the only reason I can think of to explain my actions.
But Kirk's words had lodged an anchor in his mind. "If you don't, you're never going to know, and I know you. Not knowing is the last thing you want to do."
His curiosity had been aroused, and it was not the only thing. He had to see this through.
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"Mental acceptance of and conviction in the truth, actuality, or validity of a cultural fear of emotional vulnerability and exposure, the feeling of being completely exposed in some way."
Part Two: Svi-shaya
Time passed. Some of that was sleeping, since it had been a long time for Spock, but when he finally did wake up, he felt more refreshed and clearheaded than he had for a long time - the best he'd felt since Vulcan had been destroyed.
And then he remembered all the events of the past evening at once, all the heat and emotion and confusion, and he was so startled by it all that he shoved it right to the back of his mind and promptly resolved not to think about it for as long as he could.
As long as he could was apparently only two days long.
It was after hours, not dark of course, since a rotating schedule and unchanging scenery made it so that everyone had a different idea of what 'day' was, but Kirk had left the bridge (or been booted, really, after falling asleep in his chair and being awoken by a very amused McCoy) and it had been in Spock's hands for the past eight hours. It was also very boring.
"I'm going to see if the captain has awoken. Alert me in his quarters if there is any change." He said it to Uhura, but his face remained forward, carefully not singling her out. He'd had to avoid her twice now, and felt worse about it each time. She nodded, though, and he removed himself from the bridge - with only a small sense of relief.
He pressed the buzzer at Kirk's door. He didn't want to be intrusive, but he would rather be intrusive than impolite.
When the door opened, he felt his throat run dry.
Obviously, the captain hadn't bothered at all to make himself presentable, so there he was, his hair mussed from his pillow, eyes bloodshot and clothed in nothing but a pair of boxers - that, curiously enough, had a large symbol upon them that Spock believed represented the old Earth superhero, Batman. It was very eye-catching, and after a quick moment, he flicked his eyes back up to Kirk's face. "I hope I didn't wake you, sir," he murmured, quickly lapsing into politeness to protect himself.
"Nope... come on in." Kirk waved a hand vaguely, and when Spock did indeed follow, he wandered back to his bed and flopped on it, face-first. "Everything all right on the bridge?" His words were muffled by his pillow, and Spock quirked a very small smile.
"Satisfactory," he said evenly, then sidled closer to the bed. "It is nearly time for your shift, so I thought I'd come by to be sure..."
"That I was awake?" Kirk turned his head so he could look up at Spock and smile, and the Vulcan tried to ignore the little funny things that did to his insides. That was undignified. "Yeah, don't worry about it. The doc gave me a sedative and I passed out. No biggie." Clearly, this was at odds with his body language, which seemed to want nothing else to do but fall back asleep.
Spock pulled a chair close, and sat down at the edge of it, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands knitted together in front of him. "Is there... a particular reason for your sudden insomnia? I don't recall you having any sleep issues prior to this."
"No, not really. I mean, not that there's ever been an issue, but I do have a reason, yeah." He pushed himself up a little, enough to see that while he still seemed tired, his eyes were bright and lively as ever.
Spock waited, and when Kirk didn't continue, he lifted an eyebrow at him. "Elaborate, please?"
That made the captain chuckle. "Man, you and Bones. Too curious for your own good. You're not my mom and it's not your problem."
"It is indeed my problem when your insomnia causes a detriment to the running of this ship." Some time ago, perhaps that would have been said with a cutting edge, true displeasure behind it. Now, the edge of Spock's lips lifted in a smile, and there was a light behind his eyes as he teased.
Kirk winced. "All right, all right. You're gonna get your way no matter what, I might as well tell you." He looked up again, and this time, his eyes were piercing. "After all, it's your fault in the first place."
"...My fault? Excuse me?" Both eyebrows went up at that.
"Yeah. Your fault." He let that sink in a minute, until Spock understood what he was referring to. Two nights ago. That was when Kirk had stopped sleeping.
"....Your inability to attain proper rest functions was - "
" - because I was thinking about you and your wicked Vulcan lips and what else we could be doing."
Spock's face suffused slowly chartreuse. "You were - " his voice stuttered in his throat, and Kirk's eyes were turning predatory.
"Yeah." Kirk's voice was low now, and Spock could feel himself responding to it, entirely against his will.
"That's illogical," Spock whispered.
"I want to kiss you again," was the only reply.
Spock leaned forward in his chair and gripped Kirk's shoulder with a vicelike hand, pulling him forward into a kiss that was just as torrid as the one just before they'd been interrupted. He pushed all his worries and thoughts of what he should be doing aside, because clearly there was nothing more important than kissing Captain Kirk like tomorrow wouldn't come.
He dragged one of his hands down Kirk's side, broke the kiss to draw in a deep breath and tilt his head back. This, this was what he'd been trying to suppress - and he was afraid of how much he didn't want to. But it had him like a vice.
Kirk's hand came up and clamped on to Spock's shoulder and he yanked at him, and if Spock had been a little more unwilling or a little less confused, nothing would have happened, but as it was, he accepted the momentum and let himself be pulled, up and over the nearly-naked body of the captain. It was only awkward for a second, when their limbs tangled, but he sorted his knees out, then sat back slightly on Jim's hips - ohyes - and ran his hands down the contours of his fascinating human chest.
Kirk groaned when he felt Spock's hips come into contact with his own, and his hands moved up try desperately to take the other's shirt off, wanting to get to the other's green-tinged skin. Spock nodded quickly, then helped, sliding out of his shirt with a graceful efficiency. He smiled, briefly, then leaned down and dragged his lips along the column of his throat, before dipping his tongue in the hollow at the base of it. "A-ahh..."
He pulled the other's face back to his to lock him in another kiss, pulling Spock tight against him, wanting to feel his body against his. Their hips ground together again, and he moaned into the kiss, mindless with passion and pretty damn sure he'd never been turned on by anyone, ever. Kirk could never be called an inconsiderate lover, but it was never like this, it was never like fire and passion and so much fucking heat that he lost his mind.
Yes... yes. It was all that Spock was thinking, all he could possibly think, at this moment. He wanted this, and as illogical as it was, it would also be illogical for him to deny so blatant a truth.
He rocked their bodies together, drawing a hiss from his own throat. It felt so good, so good to feel that friction between them. And if they were a little closer, and a little less clothed... a hand slid between them and started working on the fastenings of Spock's pants, which of course, was precisely when the door buzzer sounded.
Spock swore under his breath, soft but heated, and nimbly rolled off on the opposite side of the bed, gesturing for Kirk to get the goddamn door like a good captain. He stayed there, panting and uncontrolled, as Kirk made fast lies to McCoy about not having seen Spock at all.
When Kirk turned back, he would find Spock with his shirt back on and hair neatened, looking like he just happened to be sitting on Kirk's bed and nothing had happened. La di fucking dah, Kirk thought, no small amount of jealousy in his mind. "That was too close," he said, shaking his head and letting out a sigh of relief.
"Agreed," Spock said, in a mild tone, then looked up at Kirk with dark eyes and a mouth that held a hint of a smirk. "Perhaps we should choose a better time, to continue."
The captain smirked at him, and it wasn't James Kirk the womanizer, it was just Jim, and pure wicked pleasure sparking his eyes. "Hopefully sooner rather than later."
"Definitely," he murmured in that quiet, precise tone, before standing up deliberately, slowly, and moving past Kirk with a liquid grace that was specifically calculated to inspire a response. If the Doctor needed to see him, he should probably be on his way.
I am going insane, Spock decided, as he walked down the hall to the medical wing, his hands tucked neatly behind him. I am going insane, and it is the only reason I can think of to explain my actions.
But Kirk's words had lodged an anchor in his mind. "If you don't, you're never going to know, and I know you. Not knowing is the last thing you want to do."
His curiosity had been aroused, and it was not the only thing. He had to see this through.
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