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The Five Times Bones Failed Miserably at Needling Spock, and the One Time He Didn't.
Reactionary: The Five Times Bones Failed Miserably at Needling Spock, and the One Time He Didn't.
1:
The first time, he wasn't trying.
He was upset and furious and more upset, and he couldn't see how anyone COULDN'T be upset, and it wasn't even HIS planet but he was freaking out and Spock wasn't and who the hell maroons the guy who saved their life on a hostile planet, anyway? So he riled at him, and Spock just gave him a blank stare, with dead eyes, and McCoy felt chilled to the bone.
2:
The second time, he was confused.
No, scratch that. He was still upset and furious but now with more sadness, bordering on grief. He'd watched people die before, he was a doctor after all, but he'd never had to walk through the halls of his home - yes, he did see the Academy as home - and realize that there was no one there.
He'd thought about drinking. He ended up in the library instead, and Spock was there, book held in his hands. He'd taken one look at that prim and proper face and he'd exploded, words pouring out of him like a waterspout.
Spock had kept reading, his dark eyes lowered, and he didn't say a word.
McCoy didn't notice until much later that, even before he'd started talking, Spock's eyes hadn't moved, and he hadn't turned any pages.
3:
The third time, he was bored.
He shouldn't've been bored, it was the Enterprise and god knows Kirk never left him without work to do, but he was tired of mopping up Kirk's kiddie messes and putting him back together. He sat in Spock's division, screened by the privacy curtain, and watched his wounds close.
He was bored, so he tried, and no amount of grumbling about how much trouble he put him through, as a Vulcan, as Kirk's right-hand man, as a damnably insensitive fop got through to him. Spock smiled, and studied his hands, and when he stood from the bed an hour later (albeit slightly stiffly), he thanked the Doctor for his good work.
McCoy scowled, and he didn't need to, but he went over all that the knowledge banks had to say on Vulcan anatomy and biology, convincing himself he wanted to procrastinate, and that he wasn't actually interested.
4:
The fourth time, he was curious.
He wasn't about to go around insulting Spock's mother; that wasn't the kind of emotional response he was looking for (and really, Jim was a fucking douchebag, I mean seriously, who does that?). So he didn't want to insult him, really. Just... incite him.
That was a little close to 'excite' for McCoy's overactive imagination, thanks, but he focused on the task at hand like a good Doctor.
It wasn't long before he had his chance; Kirk and Spock had an overwhelming tendency to end up in the medical bay when they had missions together. Bones was about to just mouth off on his usual stop-killing-yourself rant but that hadn't worked last time, so he didn't.
Instead, he started in on his anatomy.
Because really, retractable penises? And having your heart in your stomach didn't serve anyone any good, no matter how much cartilage was covering it, what if someone kicked you in the stomach and just wanted you to throw up but you died, instead, and this was starting to sound like his usual don't-fucking-kill-yourself rant and he wasn't going anywhere with this and Spock was giving him a very amused eyebrow-raise. He shut up.
5:
The fifth time, he was livid.
"How can you be so fucking heartless! People are dying, Spock, and all you fucking care about is - "
"Ensuring maximum survival percentage, isn't that what you want, as well?" He was just too calm about it, too poised, too pretty, and McCoy wanted to snap his neck. "We have had this discussion before. I have the same response. Reacting emotionally from a command position does not in any way benefit those under my protection."
"Damnit, Spock, that's why Kirk's the captain and you aren't. He knows where to draw the line!"
"Jim isn't here." Spock's voice was level, but there was something cold and hard behind his eyes. "The Galileo is under my command, and it's officers will do as I command. That includes you."
He was stunned into silence, watching as Spock turned away to continue ignoring his ensign's desperate plea for a burial. A burial, Spock, is that too much to ask? Is nothing sacred to you?
His throat tightened, and he didn't say any more.
And 1:
The sixth time, he panicked.
He watched the rock fall, watched it roll over Spock's lower body, and he felt his own heart make a suicide attempt to leap out of his chest. He ran, before he knew what was good for him, and tears blurred his eyes while he fought to get the rock off before it killed him. He didn't even notice the ensign helping him, didn't even hear Spock's cutting shouts that they should leave him, they didn't have time, because there was no way in hell that Bones was leaving him to die.
The atmosphere in the doomed Galileo was tense.
"Where's your precious logic now," Bones hissed, meaning to sound aggravated and manly, but coming out... lost.
Spock's voice was distant, as if he was speaking from a script read through a telescope. "Death... comes to us all. Some of us, sooner than others."
His words rang hollow in their ears.
He lifted his head then, and looked McCoy in the eye, and saw the tears that had been gathering there ever since his unwanted rescue. The doctor's voice was rough and low in his throat, more emotional than he had ever seen him. "I didn't save your life to die out here, Spock."
The Galileo was silent.
Spock slammed his hand on the burst ignition.
1:
The first time, he wasn't trying.
He was upset and furious and more upset, and he couldn't see how anyone COULDN'T be upset, and it wasn't even HIS planet but he was freaking out and Spock wasn't and who the hell maroons the guy who saved their life on a hostile planet, anyway? So he riled at him, and Spock just gave him a blank stare, with dead eyes, and McCoy felt chilled to the bone.
2:
The second time, he was confused.
No, scratch that. He was still upset and furious but now with more sadness, bordering on grief. He'd watched people die before, he was a doctor after all, but he'd never had to walk through the halls of his home - yes, he did see the Academy as home - and realize that there was no one there.
He'd thought about drinking. He ended up in the library instead, and Spock was there, book held in his hands. He'd taken one look at that prim and proper face and he'd exploded, words pouring out of him like a waterspout.
Spock had kept reading, his dark eyes lowered, and he didn't say a word.
McCoy didn't notice until much later that, even before he'd started talking, Spock's eyes hadn't moved, and he hadn't turned any pages.
3:
The third time, he was bored.
He shouldn't've been bored, it was the Enterprise and god knows Kirk never left him without work to do, but he was tired of mopping up Kirk's kiddie messes and putting him back together. He sat in Spock's division, screened by the privacy curtain, and watched his wounds close.
He was bored, so he tried, and no amount of grumbling about how much trouble he put him through, as a Vulcan, as Kirk's right-hand man, as a damnably insensitive fop got through to him. Spock smiled, and studied his hands, and when he stood from the bed an hour later (albeit slightly stiffly), he thanked the Doctor for his good work.
McCoy scowled, and he didn't need to, but he went over all that the knowledge banks had to say on Vulcan anatomy and biology, convincing himself he wanted to procrastinate, and that he wasn't actually interested.
4:
The fourth time, he was curious.
He wasn't about to go around insulting Spock's mother; that wasn't the kind of emotional response he was looking for (and really, Jim was a fucking douchebag, I mean seriously, who does that?). So he didn't want to insult him, really. Just... incite him.
That was a little close to 'excite' for McCoy's overactive imagination, thanks, but he focused on the task at hand like a good Doctor.
It wasn't long before he had his chance; Kirk and Spock had an overwhelming tendency to end up in the medical bay when they had missions together. Bones was about to just mouth off on his usual stop-killing-yourself rant but that hadn't worked last time, so he didn't.
Instead, he started in on his anatomy.
Because really, retractable penises? And having your heart in your stomach didn't serve anyone any good, no matter how much cartilage was covering it, what if someone kicked you in the stomach and just wanted you to throw up but you died, instead, and this was starting to sound like his usual don't-fucking-kill-yourself rant and he wasn't going anywhere with this and Spock was giving him a very amused eyebrow-raise. He shut up.
5:
The fifth time, he was livid.
"How can you be so fucking heartless! People are dying, Spock, and all you fucking care about is - "
"Ensuring maximum survival percentage, isn't that what you want, as well?" He was just too calm about it, too poised, too pretty, and McCoy wanted to snap his neck. "We have had this discussion before. I have the same response. Reacting emotionally from a command position does not in any way benefit those under my protection."
"Damnit, Spock, that's why Kirk's the captain and you aren't. He knows where to draw the line!"
"Jim isn't here." Spock's voice was level, but there was something cold and hard behind his eyes. "The Galileo is under my command, and it's officers will do as I command. That includes you."
He was stunned into silence, watching as Spock turned away to continue ignoring his ensign's desperate plea for a burial. A burial, Spock, is that too much to ask? Is nothing sacred to you?
His throat tightened, and he didn't say any more.
And 1:
The sixth time, he panicked.
He watched the rock fall, watched it roll over Spock's lower body, and he felt his own heart make a suicide attempt to leap out of his chest. He ran, before he knew what was good for him, and tears blurred his eyes while he fought to get the rock off before it killed him. He didn't even notice the ensign helping him, didn't even hear Spock's cutting shouts that they should leave him, they didn't have time, because there was no way in hell that Bones was leaving him to die.
The atmosphere in the doomed Galileo was tense.
"Where's your precious logic now," Bones hissed, meaning to sound aggravated and manly, but coming out... lost.
Spock's voice was distant, as if he was speaking from a script read through a telescope. "Death... comes to us all. Some of us, sooner than others."
His words rang hollow in their ears.
He lifted his head then, and looked McCoy in the eye, and saw the tears that had been gathering there ever since his unwanted rescue. The doctor's voice was rough and low in his throat, more emotional than he had ever seen him. "I didn't save your life to die out here, Spock."
The Galileo was silent.
Spock slammed his hand on the burst ignition.