Being single is so easy

[gr8tdesert]

Prospective Staff Scientist: So do you have children?
Me: (laughing out loud) No...I don't plan on having one anytime soon
Prospective Staff Scientist: Are you single?
Me: (awkward moment of silence)...........no............I'm in a relationship
Prospective Staff Scientist: Is everyone in the lab in a relationship?
Me: (another awkward moment of silence

Comments

[tomstermonster]

it's totally bad hiring practice to discuss personal lives. It totally breaks Equal Opportunity Employment rules. I guess if your lab isn't EOE or if this "prospective" was already hired, then it's okay... but you might want to watch what you discuss with future candidates.

[gr8tdesert]

1) I work for the government so it abides by EOE standards - but quite honestly who strictly abides by these rules?

2) The staff scientist is already hired, technically speaking. My boss wants him to work for us but he has through go through all this paper work and bureaucratic nonsense which takes about 6 months before he can start working.

I guess I'm not familiar with EOE rules but I can understand how a company can be reprimanded for asking such questions during a hiring/interview process but can a prospective employee be reprimanded for asking such questions? Besides the EOEisms, I think the guy was just trying to initiate a conversation, albeit a surface level conversation and wanted to feel more in sync and comfortable with his future co-workers. Perhaps, it was my fault because I was having a conversation with my co-worker about pregnancy and the prospective thought it was a great opportunity for an ice-breaker.

[tomstermonster]

I didn't mean the first comment to sound as bitchy as it reads now, my bad.

I guess he was asking about people in the company already. It just sounded to me like if the guy was asking if people had children/significant others than he was really asking about family issues. Plus the context gives it better clarity. That's a pretty funny moment though.

[gr8tdesert]

You did make a valid point though. Should one openly come out during a job interview? Yes and No. Yes because it would be nice to know whether the work environment is gay-friendly or not. No because it's not very "professional."

After working in a gay friendly environment I think I would have a difficult time adjusting to one where I feel uncomfortable coming out.