musesandlyrics | 8.5. The Tudors quote
8.5. "You think you know a story, but you only know how it ends. To get to the heart of the story, you have to go back to the beginning."
The Tudors
Co-written with obscuritenoire
[Follows THIS and THIS | Set before THIS]
Blaise had sent a message to Juliette from the limo, telling her to vacate their hotel room and make herself scarce. The tone of his message really had left no room for argument, and she knew better than to respond with questions. With revealing himself to Buffy came an anger he had stewed on in the short trip from the restaurant back to the ornate and expensive hotel with direct views of Edinburgh Castle. Blaise and Juliette shared one of the most expensive suites on the highest floor and the large bay windows looked directly out onto the beautifully lit castle. No words had passed between he and Buffy on the trip home, nor did they pass on the elevator trip up to the floor. It wouldn't, either. Blaise suddenly had two bodyguards sticking to his side like glue. They had been in the limo when they were collected from the restaurant and remained with them until they reached the suite where Blaise finally dismissed them in French and closed the door in their faces. Juliette's doing, without a doubt. She had assumed Blaise's message meant he could be in some sort of danger, and Blaise hadn't made a fuss about the mens' presence.
He had now relieved himself of his suit jacket, waist coat and tie, and was standing by the large windows looking out at the castle as he slipped the gold cufflinks from his shirt sleeves and placed them on the table by the television. The hunger and intensity had gone from his eyes now as he turned away from the view to look at Buffy. "Ça va, mon chaton?" he asked her quietly. He came over to her slowly to stand closely in front of her and then trailed the back of his finger down her cheek as his blue eyes swept over her face, taking in every fine detail. "Slayer... Looks like we have somewhat of un petit problème, non?" he added in a murmur, tilting his head slightly.
"Benefits of being a Slayer is that I'm a quick healer. Even if I could probably do with a cookie right about now for the blood loss." Buffy caught his hand in hers as she moved to sit down on the edge of the plush sofa. She wanted to kick off her heels, and maybe even get out of the dress. She wanted a tub of Ben & Jerry's and her PJs. She said none of it to Blaise, though. "It's amazing how much one little thing can trigger a lifetime of memories..." She even laughed a little at her own stupidity, and still had a hold on his hand as she looked up at him again, meeting his intense gaze. "I guess I really do have a type. Tall, dark, and fangy. But you... you hide it better than any vampire I've ever met. You had that whole after dark suave thing going on, but it's not like I was looking at you and thinking vampire. I'm also trying to work out if I'm genuinely offended that you don't like my blood, or just disappointed... Relief doesn't even figure into it. How screwed up is that? I shouldn't be wanting you to feed on me. I should be doing a happy dance."
Blaise released her hand and went over to the mini bar to take out a small bottle of brandy and poured it into a glass with some ice. He brought it back over to her, handing it to her as he sat down beside her. "I assure you, this will help better than cookies, which I unfortunately do not keep on hand... for obvious reasons," he added with a hint of a smirk. He just wasn't particularly amused at that juncture. It was rubbing him the wrong way that he had such intense feelings for a Slayer, that of course, he knew a lot about in essence. He had people for many years keeping tabs on any potential threats to his kind and what made them function. It all came back to The Masquerade. Staying concealed. And because of this, the Kindred kind predominantly did slip through the cracks of many factions trying to hunt vampires. Slayers and the like were even a basis of why The Masquerade came to exist in the first place. "I am not like most that you have met. I can say that with all confidence, mon amour. Vampire is not a term we loosely use in our realm. We are Kindred. A different species, you could say. Our intent is not to hunt and kill, but to survive, pure and simple. You must not be offended or disappointed. I have known since the moment I met you that I could not feed from you. I have also warned you from the moment I met you that it would be wise to keep your distance," he added with a small smile. "I know you are all with the confidence and 'many' years of experience, but I am pretty sure I have just a few more years on you, give or take. The bite of a Kindred is... euphoric, beyond orgasmic. That is why you are craving more. It will ease."
"Kindred," Buffy murmured as she kept her eyes on the brandy glass cupped in her hands. She really wasn't sure what she wanted to start with. All this time she'd been drawn to Blaise and he turned out to be the one thing she wasn't supposed to be attracted to. And yet this was the third time she found herself wanting a vampire. She really did have to wonder what was wrong in her wiring to keep wanting the thing she was supposed to hunt. She took a sip of her brandy, and with her other hand she touched the spot on her neck where he'd bitten her. And where Angel had once bitten her, and where even Dracula had bitten her. She was surprised to find the original scar gone, and blinked as she turned to look at Blaise. "You... it's gone. He's... He's gone. Why can't you feed on me? What is it you need?"
Blaise just watched her calmly. The blood of the waiter had rejuvenated him and drawn him back to his usual mood. He raised an eyebrow slightly, but didn't comment on the scar being gone. It wasn't something he was going to apologise for, either. In the very least, a scar like that was unsightly and exactly why Blaise tended to loathe other kinds of vampires. Beyond that, however, maybe there had been some strategy in how he bit her back at the restaurant. "Was I mistaken in believing that he was already gone, cherie?" he asked her evenly. "I can only feed from people who have experienced true love deep in their souls. It is a trait I can sense without needing to hear someone admit to it or not. Or passionately declare they have, when they have not. Either way, I can know just by being in the person's near presence, usually in the same room."
Buffy gave a derisive snort as she took another sip of brandy. "So I've never been in true love because your blood tingling sense says so. Right, of course..." She fell quiet again as she searched his eyes, her relationship with Angel once again playing back through her mind. She thought about that night on her seventeenth birthday when she and Angel had slept together. She'd lost her virginity with him. She'd loved him. She was willing to give him everything. And he'd turned evil. He'd lost his soul because of a curse she hadn't even known about. He only had to experience perfect happiness and he was back to being the soulless, murderous Angelus. It was then that she realised Angel would have never been capable of giving her everything. Maybe he'd wanted to, but he wasn't capable of it. "Oh," she said quietly as her green eyes filled with understanding. "So maybe your senses aren't so full of it. I'm sorry about that. I guess we always figured we'd be there for each other when we were ready. I guess I kept living like one day I'd be back with him. Only now..." Buffy wet her lips as her gaze dropped to Blaise's mouth and she let out a soft sigh. Her body still felt like it was on fire from the blissful feeling of the bite, not to mention the fact that she still wanted to jump his undead bones. "He's really gone. Can I ask you something?"
Blaise gave a slight shrug and wet his lips. "It would make absolutely no difference to me if you believed my, uh, 'blood tingling sense' or not, amour. If only it was just a tingle. For a Slayer, it sounds like you're awfully reckless with who you choose to spend your social time with. A cursed life is something I do understand, however. You will argue me on this point no doubt, but a life chosen to hunt and slay for the rest of your existence is not something I would wish on anyone. I see now why I was feeling like you have missed out of much in life that should only just be beginning for you." He stood up again and poured himself a drink into a crystal wine glass, bringing it back over so he could make himself comfortable on the sofa. "You can ask me anything."
"It's a point I've argued with Giles and the Council for a long time, it's not one I'll argue with you about. I've never wanted to give up my family, my friends... My social life. I've scrounged to keep those parts of me. To not just become a Slayer - a dedicated killing machine that all the others seemed to have been. I even quit the Council, but now they're destroyed so it's a moot point." Buffy reached down to unstrap her heels and flexed her toes before she tucked her feet under her on the sofa, making herself comfortable for the moment. "Angel proved himself to be worthy. He wasn't like most vampires, but you're... I don't know. Kindred are more evolved, aren't they? They really have embraced their human aspects, where as most vampires don't like to. Not the kind I deal with. Now I understand why Rory wanted to show me what I was missing. Slayers have a short lifespan. I'm already old as far as Slayers go. I think it's why I need a change. I want a change. It's why I'm getting more selfish. At the same time, I suddenly have all these girls I feel a responsibility for. I did this. I planned it..." Tears welled up in her eyes again as she bit down on her bottom lip to stop it trembling. "And I think I made a mistake. Why did you try and feed on me even when you knew you couldn't?"
Blaise watched the dark liquid in the glass, swirling it around before he took a small sip and then shook his head. "Mon cherie... life is full of mistakes, and the longer the life, the more mistakes you wrack up. Learning by them is not just a pretty metaphor. It actually does work sometimes. You need to know you are not responsible for them. They are responsible for themselves. You have a choice, as should they. There is being told what your life should be and choosing what it actually is. Unfortunately, a lot of people cannot see this difference. Many years of watching has given me the ability to see it, and it is years that mortals will not ever get. But oui... you could say we are more evolved, but even that is not an accurate explanation. We are merely different. We were all humans once, so to say we embraced human aspects is to indicate we were not one. We were. We just want to remain that way. Indeed, Kindred are not immortal, either. We eventually die of natural causes, assuming certain... people... do not get to us and kill us first. A Kindred's biggest enemy are their own kind, those who turn against our beliefs or feel they are above our rules and laws. Fighting amongst us are inevitable and that is why there are elders who are there to rule and keep the peace." He sighed and sipped from the glass again. "I was claiming you, I was not feeding from you. We do not share well, belle. I certainly do not."
Buffy nodded. "And we've tried to give them that, but we also have a world now where hundreds of girls just got a dose of super strength. It can't go completely unchecked. I've made a lot of mistakes in between doing good, but this feels like one of the biggest. I thought it would be a good thing. I thought it would be the answer. And it maybe got us through the battle, but now it's permanent. I can't undo it. And I can't help thinking there has to be a better way to do this. I also feel like we shouldn't have all these girls here. That maybe we need to break them up, split them into smaller groups and show them the inside of different worlds... different races. Like me. I need to understand better. I want to understand." Buffy ran her finger around the top of her glass as her brow furrowed, the thoughts that had been swirling around her head for days finally escaping in front of Blaise. She probably shouldn't have even been talking to him about it, but she couldn't help it. If the Kindred weren't a true threat to humans then she had no beef with them. And she'd make sure she understood so all Slayers could make the distinction. "Do you choose to become Kindred? Why bother claiming me if you don't want me?" Buffy shifted to face Blaise and moved up onto her knees as she cupped his face with her hand and ran her thumb over his bottom lip. "So you're not good at sharing... Funny. Neither am I."
Blaise locked her gaze again. "Non, non, mon belle. I am not letting you draw an army of killers into my world. You say hundreds, we have thousands... more than, of Kindred. You and your colleagues would do best to leave us alone. That is a threat. We will keep the peace if you respect that. I cannot say for a moment that I am happy to hear you are training many people to slaughter vampires. You say it is only certain kinds, but I can guarantee that there will be some in your ranks who do not understand there will be a distinction. Some will not care. It is human nature. We have some very dangerous and reckless Clans within us and they will not be as understanding as I am. I will not encourage any sort of rebellion or tempt any sort of fate. I respect what you do, and understand why you exist. There are many vampires unlike our kind who are extremely dangerous and exist to kill, but I cannot fathom the risk you take training hundreds with the purpose of creating discord. If someone believes they are being targeted, they react. Again, human nature and who draws the lines? You?" He shook his head. "You have the ability to draw a line with your hundreds of filles, but not with vampires." He glanced away and cleared his throat. "Non, I did not choose. Very few actually do. Indeed, it is the worst crime within our realm to Embrace someone against their will, to kill for no reason. I claimed you because I could, and you wanted me to," he added, his gaze back on her almost challenging her to disagree.
"I didn't say I'd send them to you. Do you just want me to not say a word? Do I keep the Kindred secret from them? Is that how this works?" Buffy wasn't angry at the idea of keeping a secret. She was genuinely trying to wrap her head around it all. "I don't know what to do with them. I want to fix it... I want to make sure there isn't just this giant backlash because everyone assumes they exist to kill. They don't! We just want to protect. Or I just want to protect. Hell, I don't know anymore. I want out. I want to be cookies, but I don't think this is helping me be cookies. I want to draw a line with them, but how?" Buffy still had her hand on his face as she stayed close to him, her lips close enough to kiss him if she chose to close the gap. She really wasn't going to argue about wanting to be claimed. And again, Buffy had to wonder what was wrong with her. Slayers shouldn't be craving serious neck time with vampires. "So did the one that Embraced you get punished? Or there's a way to work around to still do it against your will?"
Blaise was amused again and there was another smirk appearing on his lips in response. "You knew nothing about us before tonight. We have elluded your kind for hundreds of years. I cannot tell you what choice to make, cherie, but I can assure you there will consequences if you do reveal this. We can protect ourselves, we do not need you nor will it be welcome to have your army sticking their noses in to try and 'help'. We have done fine enough without you to this juncture, and forgive me for being so rude, but I invited you into my world by choice. No one else. If that is not what you want, you can walk away right now. You can attempt to reveal anything to your army, but that would not be a wise choice, and you admitted a wish to not make anymore bad choices. Perhaps this is the first step you can take to walking away and focusing on yourself." He turned away so he could take another sip from the glass and licked his lips as he swallowed. "He eventually was killed, but not out of punishment. Just stupidity. I do not understand your second question. How can one work around something against their will? There is no choice."
Buffy slid down next to him, her body pressed up against Blaise's as she rest her head on his shoulder. Just when she thought she had been getting a grips on her life and what she wanted, everything was tipped on its axis again. "Who are you really?" she asked quietly. "You're not just a businessman, are you? You're rich, but there's something else... I'm not going to say anything. My lips are sealed, promise. I'll give you my word as Buffy Summers, not just misguided Head Slayer. And I want in your world. I just... What am I supposed to do in your world? How long am I even allowed in your world? You're not going to stay in Edinburgh forever, are you?" She took a sip of her brandy and felt a shiver roll down her spine and make her break out in goosebumps. "I don't know. I thought you could have been really sick, and they were trying to save you."
"Who am I or who was I?" Blaise asked with a small shrug, always the distinction between the two present in his mind. "Non... but an event like that was not uncommon in my time, I believe. That was not my experience. In fact, I had people working to ensure I did not get ill. I was very protected, just reckless. But then, despite belief in trust, you can never account for betrayal and my Sire betrayed by father to get to me. Some do choose Embrace, though. Love being the most common reason why. A mortal falls in love with Kindred and inevitably a time comes where there is a realisation that one will survive and the other will not. Our kind... we often take mates. Someone who exists with us for our lifespan, that we do not risk losing to a mortal death. We have been talking in very black and white. It is not a matter of you leaving one world to join another. The very foundation of The Masquerade is so we exist in the human world. Beneath that, however, we have a world of our own where we survive and exist in the darkness. We have normal jobs and interact with humans, yet we are still true to The Masquerade."
"Both," Buffy murmured as she reached to take his hand again. The one thing she truly couldn't get over was the fact that Blaise was warm. Angel had always been stone cold. She'd never really noticed it because she'd always been caught up in the emotions. She set the glass down on the coffee table before she switched hands so she could unbutton his shirt further and slide her hand under it over where his heart would be. There was no heartbeat. She wasn't even sure why she expected one. "Is that who the brunette is? Is she your mate? She's beautiful..."
Blaise had no issues with her touching him, trying to figure him out. He expected it. He would generally make it clear if he didn't want to be touched. "She is beautiful. She is my mate, though not in essence of love. We love each other, but we simply fulfill each other's needs when there are no others to do so. She has been in my life for many years." He shifted, getting up off the sofa and going over to a laptop sitting on the table in the middle of the room. He opened it up and turned it on, gesturing for her to come over to him with his finger. "Who I am now is an international businessman. I did not lie to you in that sense. I am the Head of the Le Mot Écrit Corporation, and we are involved in international business media enterprises. My company ensures I am well-travelled but to answer your earlier question, oui, I shall be returning to Paris soon." He pulled the chair out for her to sit and he pulled up two documents. One on his own drive and one that was a result of a quick Google search. The document on his drive explained the concept of Kindred Princes, their roles and why they exist. The internet document was about Francis I, King of France in 1522. "Read, cherie. It will only take a few minutes."
Buffy took the seat offered to her as she tried to ignore the warm hum the brandy was now creating. Slayers weren't exactly immune to the effects of alcohol, even if it did usually take a little more than for most normal people. She was just finding that in Blaise's presence, a lot of what she thought she knew was being called into question. Even simple things like drinking alcohol. It probably still had a lot to do with how the bite had made her feel. She started to read, her eyebrows furrowing as she got lost in concentration. The Kindred were slowly making sense to her. She wasn't going to pretend to fully understand, but she did at least comprehend enough to realise that Blaise was a Kindred Prince. He was a Kindred Prince from France... and the son of a French king. "Oh my god..." she gasped as she turned her green eyes on him, looking over his face again. "You..."
Blaise had stood behind her has she read, indulging still in the substance in his glass. After rejecting the blood earlier, he was still a little wary introducing other substances in his system too soon and although it appeared to be red wine he was drinking, it was far from that. He nursed the glass in his hand, waiting for her to absorb the information. When she met his eyes, he gave a slight nod in confirmation. "Me," he replied, looking at the page about his family's history on the screen in front of her. Second in line to the throne, he tended to be buried away in the text, but reading close enough found it. He was the second born son, the reckless one and cocky one in his youth, and to this day, he still paid for that flaw. The page she was reading indicating he had disappeared in mysterious circumstances but was never located, presumed to have been attacked by wolves during a hunting trip. His mother had grieved his death and died at a young age herself from a plague-like illness, while his older brother took the throne when their father died of natural causes. He pointed to the screen. "Some Kindred have the ability to transform into wolves to protect themselves. Ironic that was how my demise was written in the history books. Nothing elegant about it," he added wryly.
"Yet, wolves are a little cooler than bats. You can't turn into a bat, right? And with the Kindred, there's different clans? So you're..." Buffy turned back to his computer, and brought up the page about the Kindred Princes. "Are you Ventrue? That's why you're picky. You're a prince. Like, an actual prince. I have lusty feelings for royalty..." Buffy trailed off again as she touched her mouth with her fingers, and then the diamonds around her neck. It certainly went a long way to explaining why he preferred real ladies and had a penchant for elegance. "What happens when you go back to Paris?"
Blaise nodded. "Ventrue, the only clan that gets caught up in something bothersome enough as only being able to drink from certain people. It was a hard lesson to learn, to say the least. Other clans can be choosey, but it is not a physical afflication. Toreador, Juliette's clan, a lot more refined tastes but it just comes down to the being self-professed snobs more than anything," he added in amusement. "It is not really a case of lusty feelings, amour, it is merely all I know. I have had to live through many different time periods and developments. It can get tiresome. What happens? In what sense? I return home and continue as I have always done. This is merely a business trip, and also a chance for Juliette to catch up with her Sire."
Buffy watched him as she listened before she stood up to be a little closer to him. She was still short, so it wasn't like she was going to ever match him in that regard. Especially without her heels. She touched him again, running her hands up his arms as she got a sense of his strength. "Can you feed off her?" Buffy found herself asking, a slight tug of jealousy making her frown. She couldn't understand this sudden possessiveness she had over Blaise. He had just been someone she was attracted to, a mysterious Frenchman. Now he was a Ventrue Prince, a Kindred, and she still wanted him. Complicated didn't even begin to cover it, and it would definitely mean keeping more than a few secrets from her friends. "What happens with us? You just claim and run, and that's it?"
"Juliette is my mate, and has been for over four hundred years now. Oui, I feed from her. Sometimes she is all that I have available to me. We satisfy each other, but it is beyond a romantic relationship. We need each other to survive. She has... taken a liking to your wayward Scotsman," Blaise admitted with a quirk of his eyebrow, indicating that it wasn't clear whether he approved of that or not. He watched her as she explored him with her hands. "I cannot stay here. Paris is not just my home, it is my realm. That is where I belong."
She started to undo more of the buttons on his shirt, green eyes studying him intently as they followed the trail of her fingertips. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and she looked up to meet his eyes again. "If you don't share, how does that work for Juliette and anyone you choose to... date. Do they need to be okay with sharing? Are you two a package?" She smirked a little at the mention of Rory. "He was pretty sure she was going to eat him. He also thought that you were, too. Oh wait... you were, weren't you? He's experienced true love. How far am I allowed into your world?"
Blaise smirked, amused at her pointed questions. It was even more amusing to him that an apparent Slayer could be so fascinated and intent on a vampire. It seemed odd, and he wondered why she was so susceptible to getting in too deep with immortals. "I do not share well," he corrected. "We respect our boundaries if one wishes to partake in a relationship. We are a package, but we are not polygamous when it comes to the crunch. We couldn't be. We would tear the romantic prospect apart, literally. We know where we stand. Juliette, in essence, is my subordinate, but she knows me, she knows what makes me tick, what makes me angry. She very rarely oversteps the boundaries and we just work. Your friend carries a very distinct and deep sense of true love. In his presence, it was difficult for me to control my hunger. Sometimes it is not a matter of choice. Sometimes I cannot control it. He has loved and lost, I deduce. When true love is torn away from you before you are ready, it lingers." He caught her hands around her wrists, stilling them as he leaned in close. "How far into a vampire's world is a Slayer allowed to tread, mon belle? You come into my world with an intent to betray, I guarantee, you will not last long. It would never be possible for you to know just how many people are watching me and protecting me."
Buffy froze at the whispered warning, her green eyes locked on one of his buttons as she felt her heart racing in her chest. She'd been told she had a death wish before, and sometimes she really had to wonder. Even after already experiencing death twice, she still flirted with it. The fact that she would ever feel something for a race she was sworn to kill spoke volumes. She was tempted to pull away, to end this, but she couldn't. Blaise could be something that was hers. He was letting her into a world not many knew about, and he had claimed her. "I'll tread as far as I want to. As far as you'll let me. I don't have any intent to betray, you have no idea... I shouldn't even want this, but I do. It's a fucked up rabbit hole for me to be going down, but I need to see it through. I need this. I need..." She gave a shake of her head before she pressed her lips together and swallowed down a lump. "I don't know anymore."
"That is an extremely bold statement, mon cherie. Treading completely into my world... have you realised exactly what that would be?" Blaise asked her. He was far from stupid in his many years of life experience and he couldn't help but wonder if she was just finding herself in this position because it went against everything she was told she should do. Like a dangerous rebellion that she would turn and want to back out of eventually. He was keeping her at arm's length, his strength holding her back from drawing herself too close to him, and his eyes remained locked on her, the gaze rarely wavering. "I am more than curious... what are you expecting to find and achieve by following me into my realm? It is not called the World of Darkness for nothing. Are you just doing this because you are no longer just the sole Slayer? Is it a thrill you are looking for, mon chaton? You follow me, there is no going back. That is not to say I am saying you cut yourself off from your world, your friends. That is not at all what I am saying. I am saying here," he brushed his fingers across her forehead, down to her temple, "in your mind, there is no going back."
"What if I'm meant to go into your world? I've never been like other Slayers. It's true I've never followed rules, either, but I'm not... I loved Angel. I sought comfort from Spike. I did the whole rough sex rebellion with him. I don't want that from you. That's not what I'm looking for. I don't want to become Kindred, either. So it's not some extreme makeover I'm looking for, either. I just want my match. I want to have a chance at meeting someone that matches me, that can still show me new things, that can... that I can become cookies with. I'm not the best that I can be. I'm maybe the best Slayer and the original - even if that's arrogant - but I'm not the best Buffy." This time she did pull away and moved back to lean against the table as she caught her breath now that she wasn't so close to him. "You make me feel like a woman. I can't exactly ignore that. Even if it's confusing to think that I'm once again drawn to a world that I should be fighting. And it's not just me, is it? You invited me in. You wanted to get rid of Angel's bite. There's something in you that wants me as much as I want you. Aren't you curious about what could happen?"
Blaise shook his head. "This is not a fairy tale. There are no rabbit holes to fall down and take you to a whole new world where you forget all the bad things. I want to know, cherie what you can offer me, not the other way around. Because unlike you, any romance I have is but a tiny blip in my time. I am guaranteed that just about any person that I fall in love with who is not a part of my world, I will lose in a relatively short space of time, considering my life span. I want to know why you think you are worthy of me putting my heart on the line again. Because I guarantee you, mon amour, to lose a love to death just once is agony. Try living through it twelve times. You think you get a match. What do I get in return?"
Buffy sunk down into the chair beside her and could feel her shoulders slump. What could she offer Blaise? It wasn't like she was immortal. Not as far as she knew. Even if she'd come back different after Willow and the others had resurrected her. She wasn't even sure of herself anymore. She had been sure of slaying until she'd come to Scotland. She had no way of guaranteeing that it would be worth the risk for Blaise to give his heart up for a thirteenth time. She couldn't even imagine going through such agony twelve times. She couldn't even give him her blood. "I'd love you. You can't bite me, which means I can't become addicted. I'm not a subject, so I'm hardly going to be looking for advancement. I'm not going to pretend I'll be the best sex you've ever had because I'm not that stupid. You've lived a long time, you've probably had better." Buffy stood up again and gave a shake of her head as she started to take off the diamond necklace. "You'd be sure that I was just in it for you, not because of your power, your darkness, your dependence on my blood. You'd have someone you didn't need to pretend with. Everything else feels trivial. So what if I'm intelligent, strong, funny, cute, and love chocolate? I think... you need to keep these," she finished as she set the diamonds down. "I'm sorry for wasting your time."
She had Blaise's attention; he had been listening... right up until she placed those diamonds down and his eyes shifted to something a lot colder than they had been just a few moments before. The silence lingered and he just stared at her before he moved further away from her. He picked up his glass and moved back over to the window to the view that always seemed to keep him grounded when he was in this city so far away from his home. "Au revoir, Mademoiselle Summers. Best wishes with your Slayer prospects," he murmured and then sipped from his glass with his eyes locked on the age old structure beyond the windows.
Buffy's fingers still rest on the diamonds, and for a moment they curled tighter around them as utter despair washed over her. A sinking feeling filled the pit of her stomach as she wondered if she genuinely had just lost Blaise, or if she'd managed to just push him away herself. The fantasy of him making love to her in nothing but the diamonds plagued her again, and a couple of her tears hit the polished surface of the dining table before she went back on her final words and took the necklace with her as she left the hotel room silently. She even forgot about her shoes as she hugged the diamonds to her stomach and took the stairs rather than waiting for the elevator. Sometimes, she really did hate herself for opening her mouth. She hated herself even more for wanting the things she was never going to be worthy of.
Words: 6370
The Tudors
Co-written with obscuritenoire
[Follows THIS and THIS | Set before THIS]
Blaise had sent a message to Juliette from the limo, telling her to vacate their hotel room and make herself scarce. The tone of his message really had left no room for argument, and she knew better than to respond with questions. With revealing himself to Buffy came an anger he had stewed on in the short trip from the restaurant back to the ornate and expensive hotel with direct views of Edinburgh Castle. Blaise and Juliette shared one of the most expensive suites on the highest floor and the large bay windows looked directly out onto the beautifully lit castle. No words had passed between he and Buffy on the trip home, nor did they pass on the elevator trip up to the floor. It wouldn't, either. Blaise suddenly had two bodyguards sticking to his side like glue. They had been in the limo when they were collected from the restaurant and remained with them until they reached the suite where Blaise finally dismissed them in French and closed the door in their faces. Juliette's doing, without a doubt. She had assumed Blaise's message meant he could be in some sort of danger, and Blaise hadn't made a fuss about the mens' presence.
He had now relieved himself of his suit jacket, waist coat and tie, and was standing by the large windows looking out at the castle as he slipped the gold cufflinks from his shirt sleeves and placed them on the table by the television. The hunger and intensity had gone from his eyes now as he turned away from the view to look at Buffy. "Ça va, mon chaton?" he asked her quietly. He came over to her slowly to stand closely in front of her and then trailed the back of his finger down her cheek as his blue eyes swept over her face, taking in every fine detail. "Slayer... Looks like we have somewhat of un petit problème, non?" he added in a murmur, tilting his head slightly.
"Benefits of being a Slayer is that I'm a quick healer. Even if I could probably do with a cookie right about now for the blood loss." Buffy caught his hand in hers as she moved to sit down on the edge of the plush sofa. She wanted to kick off her heels, and maybe even get out of the dress. She wanted a tub of Ben & Jerry's and her PJs. She said none of it to Blaise, though. "It's amazing how much one little thing can trigger a lifetime of memories..." She even laughed a little at her own stupidity, and still had a hold on his hand as she looked up at him again, meeting his intense gaze. "I guess I really do have a type. Tall, dark, and fangy. But you... you hide it better than any vampire I've ever met. You had that whole after dark suave thing going on, but it's not like I was looking at you and thinking vampire. I'm also trying to work out if I'm genuinely offended that you don't like my blood, or just disappointed... Relief doesn't even figure into it. How screwed up is that? I shouldn't be wanting you to feed on me. I should be doing a happy dance."
Blaise released her hand and went over to the mini bar to take out a small bottle of brandy and poured it into a glass with some ice. He brought it back over to her, handing it to her as he sat down beside her. "I assure you, this will help better than cookies, which I unfortunately do not keep on hand... for obvious reasons," he added with a hint of a smirk. He just wasn't particularly amused at that juncture. It was rubbing him the wrong way that he had such intense feelings for a Slayer, that of course, he knew a lot about in essence. He had people for many years keeping tabs on any potential threats to his kind and what made them function. It all came back to The Masquerade. Staying concealed. And because of this, the Kindred kind predominantly did slip through the cracks of many factions trying to hunt vampires. Slayers and the like were even a basis of why The Masquerade came to exist in the first place. "I am not like most that you have met. I can say that with all confidence, mon amour. Vampire is not a term we loosely use in our realm. We are Kindred. A different species, you could say. Our intent is not to hunt and kill, but to survive, pure and simple. You must not be offended or disappointed. I have known since the moment I met you that I could not feed from you. I have also warned you from the moment I met you that it would be wise to keep your distance," he added with a small smile. "I know you are all with the confidence and 'many' years of experience, but I am pretty sure I have just a few more years on you, give or take. The bite of a Kindred is... euphoric, beyond orgasmic. That is why you are craving more. It will ease."
"Kindred," Buffy murmured as she kept her eyes on the brandy glass cupped in her hands. She really wasn't sure what she wanted to start with. All this time she'd been drawn to Blaise and he turned out to be the one thing she wasn't supposed to be attracted to. And yet this was the third time she found herself wanting a vampire. She really did have to wonder what was wrong in her wiring to keep wanting the thing she was supposed to hunt. She took a sip of her brandy, and with her other hand she touched the spot on her neck where he'd bitten her. And where Angel had once bitten her, and where even Dracula had bitten her. She was surprised to find the original scar gone, and blinked as she turned to look at Blaise. "You... it's gone. He's... He's gone. Why can't you feed on me? What is it you need?"
Blaise just watched her calmly. The blood of the waiter had rejuvenated him and drawn him back to his usual mood. He raised an eyebrow slightly, but didn't comment on the scar being gone. It wasn't something he was going to apologise for, either. In the very least, a scar like that was unsightly and exactly why Blaise tended to loathe other kinds of vampires. Beyond that, however, maybe there had been some strategy in how he bit her back at the restaurant. "Was I mistaken in believing that he was already gone, cherie?" he asked her evenly. "I can only feed from people who have experienced true love deep in their souls. It is a trait I can sense without needing to hear someone admit to it or not. Or passionately declare they have, when they have not. Either way, I can know just by being in the person's near presence, usually in the same room."
Buffy gave a derisive snort as she took another sip of brandy. "So I've never been in true love because your blood tingling sense says so. Right, of course..." She fell quiet again as she searched his eyes, her relationship with Angel once again playing back through her mind. She thought about that night on her seventeenth birthday when she and Angel had slept together. She'd lost her virginity with him. She'd loved him. She was willing to give him everything. And he'd turned evil. He'd lost his soul because of a curse she hadn't even known about. He only had to experience perfect happiness and he was back to being the soulless, murderous Angelus. It was then that she realised Angel would have never been capable of giving her everything. Maybe he'd wanted to, but he wasn't capable of it. "Oh," she said quietly as her green eyes filled with understanding. "So maybe your senses aren't so full of it. I'm sorry about that. I guess we always figured we'd be there for each other when we were ready. I guess I kept living like one day I'd be back with him. Only now..." Buffy wet her lips as her gaze dropped to Blaise's mouth and she let out a soft sigh. Her body still felt like it was on fire from the blissful feeling of the bite, not to mention the fact that she still wanted to jump his undead bones. "He's really gone. Can I ask you something?"
Blaise gave a slight shrug and wet his lips. "It would make absolutely no difference to me if you believed my, uh, 'blood tingling sense' or not, amour. If only it was just a tingle. For a Slayer, it sounds like you're awfully reckless with who you choose to spend your social time with. A cursed life is something I do understand, however. You will argue me on this point no doubt, but a life chosen to hunt and slay for the rest of your existence is not something I would wish on anyone. I see now why I was feeling like you have missed out of much in life that should only just be beginning for you." He stood up again and poured himself a drink into a crystal wine glass, bringing it back over so he could make himself comfortable on the sofa. "You can ask me anything."
"It's a point I've argued with Giles and the Council for a long time, it's not one I'll argue with you about. I've never wanted to give up my family, my friends... My social life. I've scrounged to keep those parts of me. To not just become a Slayer - a dedicated killing machine that all the others seemed to have been. I even quit the Council, but now they're destroyed so it's a moot point." Buffy reached down to unstrap her heels and flexed her toes before she tucked her feet under her on the sofa, making herself comfortable for the moment. "Angel proved himself to be worthy. He wasn't like most vampires, but you're... I don't know. Kindred are more evolved, aren't they? They really have embraced their human aspects, where as most vampires don't like to. Not the kind I deal with. Now I understand why Rory wanted to show me what I was missing. Slayers have a short lifespan. I'm already old as far as Slayers go. I think it's why I need a change. I want a change. It's why I'm getting more selfish. At the same time, I suddenly have all these girls I feel a responsibility for. I did this. I planned it..." Tears welled up in her eyes again as she bit down on her bottom lip to stop it trembling. "And I think I made a mistake. Why did you try and feed on me even when you knew you couldn't?"
Blaise watched the dark liquid in the glass, swirling it around before he took a small sip and then shook his head. "Mon cherie... life is full of mistakes, and the longer the life, the more mistakes you wrack up. Learning by them is not just a pretty metaphor. It actually does work sometimes. You need to know you are not responsible for them. They are responsible for themselves. You have a choice, as should they. There is being told what your life should be and choosing what it actually is. Unfortunately, a lot of people cannot see this difference. Many years of watching has given me the ability to see it, and it is years that mortals will not ever get. But oui... you could say we are more evolved, but even that is not an accurate explanation. We are merely different. We were all humans once, so to say we embraced human aspects is to indicate we were not one. We were. We just want to remain that way. Indeed, Kindred are not immortal, either. We eventually die of natural causes, assuming certain... people... do not get to us and kill us first. A Kindred's biggest enemy are their own kind, those who turn against our beliefs or feel they are above our rules and laws. Fighting amongst us are inevitable and that is why there are elders who are there to rule and keep the peace." He sighed and sipped from the glass again. "I was claiming you, I was not feeding from you. We do not share well, belle. I certainly do not."
Buffy nodded. "And we've tried to give them that, but we also have a world now where hundreds of girls just got a dose of super strength. It can't go completely unchecked. I've made a lot of mistakes in between doing good, but this feels like one of the biggest. I thought it would be a good thing. I thought it would be the answer. And it maybe got us through the battle, but now it's permanent. I can't undo it. And I can't help thinking there has to be a better way to do this. I also feel like we shouldn't have all these girls here. That maybe we need to break them up, split them into smaller groups and show them the inside of different worlds... different races. Like me. I need to understand better. I want to understand." Buffy ran her finger around the top of her glass as her brow furrowed, the thoughts that had been swirling around her head for days finally escaping in front of Blaise. She probably shouldn't have even been talking to him about it, but she couldn't help it. If the Kindred weren't a true threat to humans then she had no beef with them. And she'd make sure she understood so all Slayers could make the distinction. "Do you choose to become Kindred? Why bother claiming me if you don't want me?" Buffy shifted to face Blaise and moved up onto her knees as she cupped his face with her hand and ran her thumb over his bottom lip. "So you're not good at sharing... Funny. Neither am I."
Blaise locked her gaze again. "Non, non, mon belle. I am not letting you draw an army of killers into my world. You say hundreds, we have thousands... more than, of Kindred. You and your colleagues would do best to leave us alone. That is a threat. We will keep the peace if you respect that. I cannot say for a moment that I am happy to hear you are training many people to slaughter vampires. You say it is only certain kinds, but I can guarantee that there will be some in your ranks who do not understand there will be a distinction. Some will not care. It is human nature. We have some very dangerous and reckless Clans within us and they will not be as understanding as I am. I will not encourage any sort of rebellion or tempt any sort of fate. I respect what you do, and understand why you exist. There are many vampires unlike our kind who are extremely dangerous and exist to kill, but I cannot fathom the risk you take training hundreds with the purpose of creating discord. If someone believes they are being targeted, they react. Again, human nature and who draws the lines? You?" He shook his head. "You have the ability to draw a line with your hundreds of filles, but not with vampires." He glanced away and cleared his throat. "Non, I did not choose. Very few actually do. Indeed, it is the worst crime within our realm to Embrace someone against their will, to kill for no reason. I claimed you because I could, and you wanted me to," he added, his gaze back on her almost challenging her to disagree.
"I didn't say I'd send them to you. Do you just want me to not say a word? Do I keep the Kindred secret from them? Is that how this works?" Buffy wasn't angry at the idea of keeping a secret. She was genuinely trying to wrap her head around it all. "I don't know what to do with them. I want to fix it... I want to make sure there isn't just this giant backlash because everyone assumes they exist to kill. They don't! We just want to protect. Or I just want to protect. Hell, I don't know anymore. I want out. I want to be cookies, but I don't think this is helping me be cookies. I want to draw a line with them, but how?" Buffy still had her hand on his face as she stayed close to him, her lips close enough to kiss him if she chose to close the gap. She really wasn't going to argue about wanting to be claimed. And again, Buffy had to wonder what was wrong with her. Slayers shouldn't be craving serious neck time with vampires. "So did the one that Embraced you get punished? Or there's a way to work around to still do it against your will?"
Blaise was amused again and there was another smirk appearing on his lips in response. "You knew nothing about us before tonight. We have elluded your kind for hundreds of years. I cannot tell you what choice to make, cherie, but I can assure you there will consequences if you do reveal this. We can protect ourselves, we do not need you nor will it be welcome to have your army sticking their noses in to try and 'help'. We have done fine enough without you to this juncture, and forgive me for being so rude, but I invited you into my world by choice. No one else. If that is not what you want, you can walk away right now. You can attempt to reveal anything to your army, but that would not be a wise choice, and you admitted a wish to not make anymore bad choices. Perhaps this is the first step you can take to walking away and focusing on yourself." He turned away so he could take another sip from the glass and licked his lips as he swallowed. "He eventually was killed, but not out of punishment. Just stupidity. I do not understand your second question. How can one work around something against their will? There is no choice."
Buffy slid down next to him, her body pressed up against Blaise's as she rest her head on his shoulder. Just when she thought she had been getting a grips on her life and what she wanted, everything was tipped on its axis again. "Who are you really?" she asked quietly. "You're not just a businessman, are you? You're rich, but there's something else... I'm not going to say anything. My lips are sealed, promise. I'll give you my word as Buffy Summers, not just misguided Head Slayer. And I want in your world. I just... What am I supposed to do in your world? How long am I even allowed in your world? You're not going to stay in Edinburgh forever, are you?" She took a sip of her brandy and felt a shiver roll down her spine and make her break out in goosebumps. "I don't know. I thought you could have been really sick, and they were trying to save you."
"Who am I or who was I?" Blaise asked with a small shrug, always the distinction between the two present in his mind. "Non... but an event like that was not uncommon in my time, I believe. That was not my experience. In fact, I had people working to ensure I did not get ill. I was very protected, just reckless. But then, despite belief in trust, you can never account for betrayal and my Sire betrayed by father to get to me. Some do choose Embrace, though. Love being the most common reason why. A mortal falls in love with Kindred and inevitably a time comes where there is a realisation that one will survive and the other will not. Our kind... we often take mates. Someone who exists with us for our lifespan, that we do not risk losing to a mortal death. We have been talking in very black and white. It is not a matter of you leaving one world to join another. The very foundation of The Masquerade is so we exist in the human world. Beneath that, however, we have a world of our own where we survive and exist in the darkness. We have normal jobs and interact with humans, yet we are still true to The Masquerade."
"Both," Buffy murmured as she reached to take his hand again. The one thing she truly couldn't get over was the fact that Blaise was warm. Angel had always been stone cold. She'd never really noticed it because she'd always been caught up in the emotions. She set the glass down on the coffee table before she switched hands so she could unbutton his shirt further and slide her hand under it over where his heart would be. There was no heartbeat. She wasn't even sure why she expected one. "Is that who the brunette is? Is she your mate? She's beautiful..."
Blaise had no issues with her touching him, trying to figure him out. He expected it. He would generally make it clear if he didn't want to be touched. "She is beautiful. She is my mate, though not in essence of love. We love each other, but we simply fulfill each other's needs when there are no others to do so. She has been in my life for many years." He shifted, getting up off the sofa and going over to a laptop sitting on the table in the middle of the room. He opened it up and turned it on, gesturing for her to come over to him with his finger. "Who I am now is an international businessman. I did not lie to you in that sense. I am the Head of the Le Mot Écrit Corporation, and we are involved in international business media enterprises. My company ensures I am well-travelled but to answer your earlier question, oui, I shall be returning to Paris soon." He pulled the chair out for her to sit and he pulled up two documents. One on his own drive and one that was a result of a quick Google search. The document on his drive explained the concept of Kindred Princes, their roles and why they exist. The internet document was about Francis I, King of France in 1522. "Read, cherie. It will only take a few minutes."
Buffy took the seat offered to her as she tried to ignore the warm hum the brandy was now creating. Slayers weren't exactly immune to the effects of alcohol, even if it did usually take a little more than for most normal people. She was just finding that in Blaise's presence, a lot of what she thought she knew was being called into question. Even simple things like drinking alcohol. It probably still had a lot to do with how the bite had made her feel. She started to read, her eyebrows furrowing as she got lost in concentration. The Kindred were slowly making sense to her. She wasn't going to pretend to fully understand, but she did at least comprehend enough to realise that Blaise was a Kindred Prince. He was a Kindred Prince from France... and the son of a French king. "Oh my god..." she gasped as she turned her green eyes on him, looking over his face again. "You..."
Blaise had stood behind her has she read, indulging still in the substance in his glass. After rejecting the blood earlier, he was still a little wary introducing other substances in his system too soon and although it appeared to be red wine he was drinking, it was far from that. He nursed the glass in his hand, waiting for her to absorb the information. When she met his eyes, he gave a slight nod in confirmation. "Me," he replied, looking at the page about his family's history on the screen in front of her. Second in line to the throne, he tended to be buried away in the text, but reading close enough found it. He was the second born son, the reckless one and cocky one in his youth, and to this day, he still paid for that flaw. The page she was reading indicating he had disappeared in mysterious circumstances but was never located, presumed to have been attacked by wolves during a hunting trip. His mother had grieved his death and died at a young age herself from a plague-like illness, while his older brother took the throne when their father died of natural causes. He pointed to the screen. "Some Kindred have the ability to transform into wolves to protect themselves. Ironic that was how my demise was written in the history books. Nothing elegant about it," he added wryly.
"Yet, wolves are a little cooler than bats. You can't turn into a bat, right? And with the Kindred, there's different clans? So you're..." Buffy turned back to his computer, and brought up the page about the Kindred Princes. "Are you Ventrue? That's why you're picky. You're a prince. Like, an actual prince. I have lusty feelings for royalty..." Buffy trailed off again as she touched her mouth with her fingers, and then the diamonds around her neck. It certainly went a long way to explaining why he preferred real ladies and had a penchant for elegance. "What happens when you go back to Paris?"
Blaise nodded. "Ventrue, the only clan that gets caught up in something bothersome enough as only being able to drink from certain people. It was a hard lesson to learn, to say the least. Other clans can be choosey, but it is not a physical afflication. Toreador, Juliette's clan, a lot more refined tastes but it just comes down to the being self-professed snobs more than anything," he added in amusement. "It is not really a case of lusty feelings, amour, it is merely all I know. I have had to live through many different time periods and developments. It can get tiresome. What happens? In what sense? I return home and continue as I have always done. This is merely a business trip, and also a chance for Juliette to catch up with her Sire."
Buffy watched him as she listened before she stood up to be a little closer to him. She was still short, so it wasn't like she was going to ever match him in that regard. Especially without her heels. She touched him again, running her hands up his arms as she got a sense of his strength. "Can you feed off her?" Buffy found herself asking, a slight tug of jealousy making her frown. She couldn't understand this sudden possessiveness she had over Blaise. He had just been someone she was attracted to, a mysterious Frenchman. Now he was a Ventrue Prince, a Kindred, and she still wanted him. Complicated didn't even begin to cover it, and it would definitely mean keeping more than a few secrets from her friends. "What happens with us? You just claim and run, and that's it?"
"Juliette is my mate, and has been for over four hundred years now. Oui, I feed from her. Sometimes she is all that I have available to me. We satisfy each other, but it is beyond a romantic relationship. We need each other to survive. She has... taken a liking to your wayward Scotsman," Blaise admitted with a quirk of his eyebrow, indicating that it wasn't clear whether he approved of that or not. He watched her as she explored him with her hands. "I cannot stay here. Paris is not just my home, it is my realm. That is where I belong."
She started to undo more of the buttons on his shirt, green eyes studying him intently as they followed the trail of her fingertips. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and she looked up to meet his eyes again. "If you don't share, how does that work for Juliette and anyone you choose to... date. Do they need to be okay with sharing? Are you two a package?" She smirked a little at the mention of Rory. "He was pretty sure she was going to eat him. He also thought that you were, too. Oh wait... you were, weren't you? He's experienced true love. How far am I allowed into your world?"
Blaise smirked, amused at her pointed questions. It was even more amusing to him that an apparent Slayer could be so fascinated and intent on a vampire. It seemed odd, and he wondered why she was so susceptible to getting in too deep with immortals. "I do not share well," he corrected. "We respect our boundaries if one wishes to partake in a relationship. We are a package, but we are not polygamous when it comes to the crunch. We couldn't be. We would tear the romantic prospect apart, literally. We know where we stand. Juliette, in essence, is my subordinate, but she knows me, she knows what makes me tick, what makes me angry. She very rarely oversteps the boundaries and we just work. Your friend carries a very distinct and deep sense of true love. In his presence, it was difficult for me to control my hunger. Sometimes it is not a matter of choice. Sometimes I cannot control it. He has loved and lost, I deduce. When true love is torn away from you before you are ready, it lingers." He caught her hands around her wrists, stilling them as he leaned in close. "How far into a vampire's world is a Slayer allowed to tread, mon belle? You come into my world with an intent to betray, I guarantee, you will not last long. It would never be possible for you to know just how many people are watching me and protecting me."
Buffy froze at the whispered warning, her green eyes locked on one of his buttons as she felt her heart racing in her chest. She'd been told she had a death wish before, and sometimes she really had to wonder. Even after already experiencing death twice, she still flirted with it. The fact that she would ever feel something for a race she was sworn to kill spoke volumes. She was tempted to pull away, to end this, but she couldn't. Blaise could be something that was hers. He was letting her into a world not many knew about, and he had claimed her. "I'll tread as far as I want to. As far as you'll let me. I don't have any intent to betray, you have no idea... I shouldn't even want this, but I do. It's a fucked up rabbit hole for me to be going down, but I need to see it through. I need this. I need..." She gave a shake of her head before she pressed her lips together and swallowed down a lump. "I don't know anymore."
"That is an extremely bold statement, mon cherie. Treading completely into my world... have you realised exactly what that would be?" Blaise asked her. He was far from stupid in his many years of life experience and he couldn't help but wonder if she was just finding herself in this position because it went against everything she was told she should do. Like a dangerous rebellion that she would turn and want to back out of eventually. He was keeping her at arm's length, his strength holding her back from drawing herself too close to him, and his eyes remained locked on her, the gaze rarely wavering. "I am more than curious... what are you expecting to find and achieve by following me into my realm? It is not called the World of Darkness for nothing. Are you just doing this because you are no longer just the sole Slayer? Is it a thrill you are looking for, mon chaton? You follow me, there is no going back. That is not to say I am saying you cut yourself off from your world, your friends. That is not at all what I am saying. I am saying here," he brushed his fingers across her forehead, down to her temple, "in your mind, there is no going back."
"What if I'm meant to go into your world? I've never been like other Slayers. It's true I've never followed rules, either, but I'm not... I loved Angel. I sought comfort from Spike. I did the whole rough sex rebellion with him. I don't want that from you. That's not what I'm looking for. I don't want to become Kindred, either. So it's not some extreme makeover I'm looking for, either. I just want my match. I want to have a chance at meeting someone that matches me, that can still show me new things, that can... that I can become cookies with. I'm not the best that I can be. I'm maybe the best Slayer and the original - even if that's arrogant - but I'm not the best Buffy." This time she did pull away and moved back to lean against the table as she caught her breath now that she wasn't so close to him. "You make me feel like a woman. I can't exactly ignore that. Even if it's confusing to think that I'm once again drawn to a world that I should be fighting. And it's not just me, is it? You invited me in. You wanted to get rid of Angel's bite. There's something in you that wants me as much as I want you. Aren't you curious about what could happen?"
Blaise shook his head. "This is not a fairy tale. There are no rabbit holes to fall down and take you to a whole new world where you forget all the bad things. I want to know, cherie what you can offer me, not the other way around. Because unlike you, any romance I have is but a tiny blip in my time. I am guaranteed that just about any person that I fall in love with who is not a part of my world, I will lose in a relatively short space of time, considering my life span. I want to know why you think you are worthy of me putting my heart on the line again. Because I guarantee you, mon amour, to lose a love to death just once is agony. Try living through it twelve times. You think you get a match. What do I get in return?"
Buffy sunk down into the chair beside her and could feel her shoulders slump. What could she offer Blaise? It wasn't like she was immortal. Not as far as she knew. Even if she'd come back different after Willow and the others had resurrected her. She wasn't even sure of herself anymore. She had been sure of slaying until she'd come to Scotland. She had no way of guaranteeing that it would be worth the risk for Blaise to give his heart up for a thirteenth time. She couldn't even imagine going through such agony twelve times. She couldn't even give him her blood. "I'd love you. You can't bite me, which means I can't become addicted. I'm not a subject, so I'm hardly going to be looking for advancement. I'm not going to pretend I'll be the best sex you've ever had because I'm not that stupid. You've lived a long time, you've probably had better." Buffy stood up again and gave a shake of her head as she started to take off the diamond necklace. "You'd be sure that I was just in it for you, not because of your power, your darkness, your dependence on my blood. You'd have someone you didn't need to pretend with. Everything else feels trivial. So what if I'm intelligent, strong, funny, cute, and love chocolate? I think... you need to keep these," she finished as she set the diamonds down. "I'm sorry for wasting your time."
She had Blaise's attention; he had been listening... right up until she placed those diamonds down and his eyes shifted to something a lot colder than they had been just a few moments before. The silence lingered and he just stared at her before he moved further away from her. He picked up his glass and moved back over to the window to the view that always seemed to keep him grounded when he was in this city so far away from his home. "Au revoir, Mademoiselle Summers. Best wishes with your Slayer prospects," he murmured and then sipped from his glass with his eyes locked on the age old structure beyond the windows.
Buffy's fingers still rest on the diamonds, and for a moment they curled tighter around them as utter despair washed over her. A sinking feeling filled the pit of her stomach as she wondered if she genuinely had just lost Blaise, or if she'd managed to just push him away herself. The fantasy of him making love to her in nothing but the diamonds plagued her again, and a couple of her tears hit the polished surface of the dining table before she went back on her final words and took the necklace with her as she left the hotel room silently. She even forgot about her shoes as she hugged the diamonds to her stomach and took the stairs rather than waiting for the elevator. Sometimes, she really did hate herself for opening her mouth. She hated herself even more for wanting the things she was never going to be worthy of.
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