FIC: The Road Not Taken, Ch 7
Title: "The Road Not Taken"
Rating: PG-13 probably.
Pairings: Claire/Elle, Claire/Gretchen
Summary: When Claire goes back in time to save Elle, her relationship with Gretchen is threatened.
Disclaimer: I do not own the television show "Heroes."
Note: Takes place after "Brave New World." The past takes place after "The Butterfly Effect." Thank you Lied and She-Hulk from the BAM Board for all your help.
Chapter 7
Claire walked into the small basement theater quietly at what she could tell was the end of the movie. Elle’s words were still ringing in her head as she took a seat next to Gretchen who did not spare a look in her direction. Elaine and Ben had just boarded the bus and had the infamous scene where their faces said a thousand words. The credits started to roll.
Trying to control her tone, Claire decided to ask a question, but which one? "What do you think the end of the movie means?"
"I don’t know," Gretchen said after a moment. She swallowed and still did not look at Claire. "It’s kind of opened ended. I guess to me it seemed like that question."
"Question?" Claire interrupted.
"Were they running from something or to something? They didn’t like their families or their situation. Ben didn’t know what he was going to do with his life and probably still doesn’t know. Their parents were business partners and that’s probably ruined. She’s already married. No family help, no plan, no getting married for them. Where are they going? It’s the kind of thing that happens when you’re running from someone instead of to someone. Ever been there?" Gretchen asked finally training her gaze on Claire.
Of course Claire had been there. She felt like she was running away from Gretchen’s death to this place, to Elle. She felt as if she was running from Elle to Gretchen given the events of tonight. Two girls who she deeply cared for and she could not stop running in between them because of the secrets they carried. The secrets all three of them carried.
If Gretchen was expecting to get a reaction from Claire, she would be disappointed. But Claire knew that look, probing and inquisitive. She never got tired of trying to get answers from Claire, no matter how much it was like pulling teeth. In some ways she had let Gretchen in more than anyone. She was literally seconds away from losing her virginity to her. Now, she was finding out Gretchen did not let her in, in the same way.
Her Gretchen held her as Claire cried in her arms about her Nathan’s death. She was the only one Claire let herself cry with about Nathan’s death. Now, it was turning out maybe Elle was right. Maybe this Gretchen and her Gretchen were both strangers to her. Maybe she did not know Gretchen Berg at all. And this Gretchen had the nerve to probe her like this, shake her confidence in Elle and her Gretchen for that matter. Claire could not take it anymore.
"You’re trying to do the dinner and movie thing with me? Prying into my deep dark tortured soul now with your questions? Do you do this with all the maids or just the ones you want to fuck? Like father, like daughter," Claire snapped.
Gretchen slowly rose from her seat. "Excuse me?"
"Isn’t that your angle? Or maybe you’re just bored spending time with your family who you obviously don’t care about," Claire said before freezing at the look of vulnerability that flashed openly across Gretchen’s face. It was something Claire forgot about in all her confusion and anger. Emotionally Gretchen was an open book. Maybe it was Claire who never took an interest in Gretchen’s past. Gretchen certainly was not hiding the way she felt about her family the way she winced the millisecond Claire’s words hit her as if she had just taken a punch. Maybe she did.
"I love my father. He’s actually a decent guy and if you haven’t noticed, as far as I know neither of us tried to fuck you in the- how long has it been? Oh yeah. Two days since you’ve been here. You are the one who kissed me. Not the other way around," Gretchen said with venom practically dripping from her words.
She turned and jumped over the rows of seats behind her before heading up the stairs to the main house. Claire was right behind her, practically chasing her all the way to her room.
"I’m sorry but what was I supposed to think?" Claire whispered sharply, hoping Gretchen would hear her without the rest of the house eavesdropping on their conversation. Unfortunately for her she got her wish.
Gretchen spun around when she reached her room, blocking the entrance. "You weren’t supposed to think anything. We have been nothing but kind and understanding to you, but hey maybe that’s what YOU wanted."
"Well, of course," Claire said, unsure where the conversation was heading.
"In two days you’ve been out God knows where, you’ve been on a date at a carnival and you’ve been unconscious for almost an entire day. Not to mention yet again that you kissed me! Maybe you’re doing this to get out of your duties or get at the heiress to a nice house?" Gretchen spat almost ferociously if Claire could not tell her anger actually covered that she was just wounded by Claire’s accusations.
Unfortunately, Claire was now too upset and rattled to care as she gasped at the accusation she got in return. "This house looks like a train wreck freak show and I told you as much this morning."
Claire would have continued but Gretchen began to shout over her. "You do not get to make judgements about my family!"
"You can’t tell me how to feel or what opinions to form or how I express them," Claire yelled back.
"Fine," Gretchen growled, stepping in impossibly close. There was a dangerous look in her eyes that Claire was familiar with but she was not used to having it directed at her. It was a protective look. The one she would focus on people who attacked Claire. Claire was now pleased and heartbroken to finally realize it was look Gretchen used when defending her family.
"You can think and feel whatever you want about whoever you want, but you are not allowed to come into my home and attack my family. You are never allowed to do that. Now, if you have any sense of kindness and decency anywhere in you, you will leave me alone right now. I think you’ve said quite enough," Gretchen began closing her door as Claire stuck out a hand to keep it from closing all the way.
"Listen," Claire began but Gretchen’s rapidly descending tears stopped her. They were just like the syrup in the slusho machine, the rain against the walls of the mansion, and Claire cursed herself to think it but just like the blood dripping in her nightmare.
"Just don’t okay," Gretchen warbled. "I know what you think of me- of us. I don’t really want to hear anymore."
Gretchen’s door closed with a resounding click. Claire’s arms fell limply to her sides as she wondered what just happened. Somehow she knew. Gretchen happened. Elle happened. They were both proving too much for her but she could not let either of them go. Even now she knew at some point she had to. At some point she had to make a consistent choice.
Tonight that choice was to sleep. Claire trudged slowly to her room, ever alert for the prying eyes of the rest of the Berg family but she could not find them anywhere. She nudged the door to her bedroom open with her body and closed the door resolutely behind her. She rushed forward and gained just enough momentum to crash satisfyingly on top of her bed. She bounced for a moment after and heard something crunch beneath her fingertips.
Her eyes opened just enough to see a note lying on the pillow next to her. Tilting her head slightly she examined Rene’s elegant scrawl which noted that he was captaining a boat that was currently taking the rest of the Berg family on a midnight boat ride. Gretchen had apparently forgone the bonding to spend time with Claire. With the ache of that thought lodged firmly in her heart, Claire crunched the letter into a ball in her hand and settled into a deep and unsatisfying sleep.
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Sirens went off, the lights from the red alarms coloring a good portion of the building. Doors and barriers were closing in everywhere. Bars were closing over the windows. She was making progress. Faster than anyone expected. Claire knew better than to underestimate her. If they were not on top of their game she would make it out of the building.
A cloaked figure darted from screen to screen as she was caught by different security monitors. Finally, Claire saw her in person. She ran powerfully like a tiger in the shadows- and managed to knock out all of Claire’s backup with some well placed high kicks.
Taking the last minute initiative she was known to use Claire threw herself suddenly in the woman’s path where a simple kick that was meant to knock her out ended up snapping Claire’s neck.
Claire woke up on the floor a few seconds later to find as she suspected, the woman had stayed out of concern for Claire’s well being. She did not want to hurt anyone.
Relying on her instincts, Claire slowly pushed herself to her knees and greeted the woman. "No need to leave so soon St. Joan. Or should I call you Miss Dawson? Monica?"
The woman removed her mask with a disbelieving smirk on her face. "The spokeswoman for superpowers herself. I heard a lot about you."
"I did a lot of work for Rebel," Claire confirmed as she got to her feet.
"That wasn’t what I was referring to," Monica said as she looked Claire up and down with mistrust.
Claire sighed. "I can help you."
"Doubt that," Monica shrugged and continued her walk to the only open window of the floor. It was the only exit of the whole building. Claire planned it that way. It was not the only trick she had up her sleeve.
"I can help you by helping Micah. He needs a transplant. I’m a universal donor. I know what it’s like to care about someone so much you’re willing to do anything for them. Now, do you want to trust me or risk blindly jumping out of the top window of a ten story building just to get away from me, because I may heal from that but you can’t," Claire said, stepping forward until Monica was backed against the window in an attempt to keep her distance.
"Do you really know what’s it’s like to care about someone until you’re willing to do anything? Micah’s my family and I love him and I will find him a healer. No matter what nice things he says about you, it just seems to me that you only care about people and their wants when they coincide with what you care about and want. Do you really care about anyone other than yourself?" Monica asked. Before Claire had a chance to even attempt to answer, Monica dove headfirst out of the window.
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Claire woke to a persistent knocking on her door. Turning her body slowly, she swung her feet off the bed. She took a few sleepy steps and opened the door to find Gretchen poised with a smug grin on her lips and a freshly opened manila envelope in her hands.
"Busted," was all Gretchen uttered before turning on her heels and leaving. Claire followed her as she felt that was what Gretchen wanted. She found Gretchen putting the finishing touches on her hair in a full length mirror. Her hair could not look more perfectly straight if she tried. She was trying to get Claire’s attention. Claire just did not know why.
Claire stepped into Gretchen’s room and closed the door before leaning up against it. "What did you just mean?"
Gretchen turned to her with a bright grin on her face. The sun was streaming through the walls behind her. It almost made her look angelic were it not for the sinking feeling Claire had in her stomach. "It means did you honestly think that because my dad wears yoga pants all day, he’s somehow an idiot? Did you not think he’d run a background check on you?"
This caused Claire to stand up right. She was truly awake now with adrenaline pumping through her veins. "Background check?"
"Yup." Gretchen walked towards the door as she reopened the envelope and began to flip through the contents. "Guess what? I thought you were a girl named Claire Petrelli but you’re not. I thought you were someone I liked and it turns out you’re not. Surprise, surprise."
"Your family knows?" Claire asked in terror.
Gretchen shook her head no. "It was delivered by special mail this morning. I intercepted it before my family ever saw it. Wanted to break the good news myself."
"Look, please, you cannot tell anyone what you found out about me. I need to be here, right here, right now. I need to go by Claire Petrelli, okay? Please, please. It’s really important," Claire begged as she dodged and darted in attempt to keep Gretchen from leaving the room.
Gretchen gently grasped Claire’s shoulders and tried to move her aside. Claire was surprised that Gretchen was still being gentle with her given all that just happened between them. Her words may be vicious but Gretchen was not a monster. Claire knew what she had to do.
"Please, I have to work here. Lives depend on it," Claire said. Gretchen’s hands froze on the doorknob.
Gretchen turned back to her, sympathy flashing in her eyes before her features hardened. "I don’t really want to hear your sob story. I can’t really believe anything you say anymore anyway."
"Okay, yes, true. I hid my name-" Claire said before getting interrupted.
"Yes, you’re good at hiding things," Gretchen snapped as her hand dropped from the door handle. It was all too familiar but it made the hurt in her eyes even more recognizable.
"I can prove it. I can prove everything. It was in the newspaper, you can see for yourself," Claire gestured to Gretchen’s laptop on her desk that was currently in sleep mode. Gretchen hesitantly took a seat at the desk and began to fiddle with the computer to turn it on and Claire looked around the room.
Claire recognized a lot of the stuff from the dorm and later their apartment. Her bed was smaller later but the sheets and quilt were the same pattern. A lot of the same decorations were there as well as belongings but some things were conspicuously present that were missing in their life as she knew it. Gretchen had glow in the dark star stickers covering the ceiling and Claire now knew they were in the formation of actual constellations. There were science mobiles lining the walls showing the planets and eclipses. A collection of comic books were on the same book case that had her dvd collection. She had another bookcase that was full of books, a majority of them that seemed to be associated with science. Chandra Suresh’s book was among them. There was also a couple books on movies and music and art. Those were the only ones Claire had seen Gretchen bring to college that were not merely entertainment reading. Claire and Gretchen once bonded over trying to make a new start for themselves in college. The funny thing is neither could hide who they were. They were both freaks. Maybe that is how they ended up together.
"Okay," Gretchen said with her computer free of any programs.
"Turn on the internet," Claire gently prompted with an almost hidden smile.
"Oh, right. I mean... right," Gretchen said, doing a couple double-takes on Claire’s face before hitting a few keys. A browser came up.
Claire approached the keyboard and began to hit a few keys. Her skin brushed against Gretchen’s in their close proximity. It was a little comforting being that close to her again. She knew it was as close as she could probably get for awhile. "Your dad said you live in Austin. You ever hear about the cheerleader who got her head cut open in Odessa?"
"Yeah," Gretchen nodded after a moment. "It was all over the news."
"She was my best friend," Claire admitted as she hit search on the Google search engine. Her name and Jackie’s pulled up an article from two years ago. Claire clicked on it.
"My name is Claire Bennet. Two years ago I saved a man from a burning train. I didn’t plan on it. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time and couldn’t walk away. Anyway, I was embarrassed for being crazy enough to run into the train in the first place and Jackie could tell maybe so she took credit. A few weeks later she was murdered. The guy who did it attacked me too. He didn’t kill me but he stalked me for awhile. He killed my parents," Claire’s voice broke at the last sentence. It was technically true. He killed Nathan and Meredith. They were biological parents. It still hurt.
Gretchen reached up a hand hesitantly. Not sure if Claire wanted to be touched. Claire did not move so Gretchen reached a her hand a little further and pressed it against Claire’s back. After a few seconds she began to rub soothing (what she hoped was soothing) circles on Claire’s back. Claire remained silent but did not move so Gretchen turned her attention to the article.
Moments passed and Gretchen scrolled down, tears in her eyes as she continued to read. Claire would not have felt so emotional if she was simply reading the article Gretchen was. It was very unemotional in its account but Claire knew what Gretchen was feeling. It was different when you knew there was a person behind the story.
Gretchen reached the end of the article and turned to Claire teary eyed. She whispered, "I’m sorry. I’m so sorry."
"It’s okay," Claire said, pulling the girl into a loose hug. It felt oddly right comforting her though it was her story.
Gretchen shook her head no. "No, no, I made a joke once. When it first happened I made a joke about cheerleaders. I am so sorry Claire."
Claire pulled away and tilted her head so she was looking into Gretchen’s eyes. "It’s okay. I just have nowhere to go and that scary guy is still out there somewhere. Rene was a friend of the family. He’s been protecting me, but if anyone knew where I was we would be in so much danger. You know from that picture with the article my name really is Claire Bennet. We’re just trying to stay under the radar for our own safety, so please just don’t give your dad the background report. I understand if you want to. I’ve been pretty awful to you. I’m a bit of bitch and I have been told many times even recently that I’m just the kind person who only cares about what I want, but this is a life or death situation so, if you could just-"
"Say no more," Gretchen said as she erased her browser history and opened a word document.
"Really?" Claire asked, surprised at Gretchen’s frantic movements.
"Yeah," Gretchen nodded as she began typing away using the original background report as a template. "I can write a new report singing your praises and confirming your story. Never was there a better maid than Claire Petrelli. Stuff like that."
"You can really do that stuff?" Claire asked.
"This stuff is a piece of cake for me. Kind of my area of smarts. No worries," Gretchen shrugged slightly, not slowing down in her typing.
"And you can work in stuff about the Haitian’s background in Haiti?" Claire asked looking at the screen.
Gretchen’s eyes broke from the screen to glance at Claire but to Claire’s muted amusement she did not slow down in her typing at all. "He’s Haitian?"
"Nevermind," Claire brushed the remaining tears from Gretchen’s cheeks. Gretchen blinked at the intimate touch she was obviously unused to and turned her attention back to the screen.
"Just go ahead and get back to work. Everyone’s still asleep. They only got in a few hours ago. They won’t know you even missed a step," Gretchen assured with a grin.
"Thank you," Claire said sincerely. Gretchen nodded in response and Claire headed to the door secure in the knowledge that she did not reveal the dangerous truth but never lied to Gretchen either. The conversation was over but Claire could not leave just yet.
Claire marched back ready to apologize when Gretchen beat her to the punch. "I’m sorry."
"I told you, you don’t have to say that. You didn’t even know Jackie," Claire said.
Gretchen shook her head and finally pulled away from the keyboard for a moment. "No, I mean, for last night. I went off on you and I mean, we barely know each other. I shouldn’t have gotten that upset. I guess I could see where you were coming from."
"Are you kidding? I was unnecessarily and completely unreasonably awful to you and you’ve been nothing but kind to me, even now. I am so completely sorry for last night Gretchen," Claire insisted.
"It’s okay," Gretchen said simply.
Claire shook her head in disbelief. "How can you say that?"
"Claire, according to that article you’re like what? Seventeen? Your life has been topsy turvy over the last few months, make that years. You’re still dealing and it’s okay to lose it every now and then. My life’s totally sheltered and I act crazy like six times a week," Gretchen joked.
On some level Gretchen was accurate. Her Gretchen had been trying to convince her of the same thing. She wanted her to stop blaming herself for all that happened. And Claire had been dealing with a lot especially the last few days and it was making her act out. It did not make her behavior okay however.
"My past is no excuse for the way I acted towards you. You haven’t known me for a long time but I know you better than that. I shouldn’t have made those accusations towards you or been so cruel. You didn’t deserve it," Claire said.
Gretchen stood and stepped towards her. "We both said things last night that we regret. Let’s just take that one off the record books. Starting right now, you and me, fresh start."
Gretchen extended a hand and Claire shook it as she confirmed, "fresh start."
Claire pulled her hand away slowly, another idea forming in her mind. "As part of our fresh start, maybe we should forget about that kiss we had and try to be friends for now. I can’t really handle anymore complications. And my past, it really has to stay a secret from everyone, even your family. I just can’t risk anyone else getting involved."
‘If only I could get Elle to agree to that," Claire thought.
"Sounds good. I could use another one of those things called friends," Gretchen joked, before jutting a thumb in the direction of her computer. "I should get back to that but I’m glad we’re okay again."
"Me too," Claire said as Gretchen headed back to her computer to work on the background report.
"Someone is getting ice cream for breakfast," Claire called as she backed out of the room. Gretchen smirked in the glow of the computer screen already settling back to work.
Claire closed the door and her body began to relax at the crisis averted. In exhaustion she began to slide down against the door until she was resting against it as she sat on the ground, another memory taking her over.
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"What’s for dinner?" Claire called as she closed the door of the apartment behind her.
"Ice cream," Gretchen said as she scooped Neopolitan out of a gallon tub.
Claire walked around the kitchen counter, eyeing the bowls suspiciously. "That doesn’t sound particularly healthy."
"Um, hello. One of those ice cream flavors is strawberry. This is healthy for any meal of the day," Gretchen said as she covered the ice cream in a large pile of whipped cream until the strawberry was no longer remotely visible.
Claire hopped up and sat atop the counter as she grabbed the bowl Gretchen offered her. "Okay, if you say so."
Gretchen sprayed a dollop of whipped cream on her finger and ran it across a patch of Claire’s neck before leaning over to lick it off. Claire sighed in delight as she reached for the chocolate syrup.
"So, how was your day?" Gretchen asked with her lips against Claire’s neck.
"Saw Monica Dawson at the hospital today. Spent an hour or two with her and Micah," Claire said lazily as she leaned into Gretchen’s touch.
"Did you finally win her over with your sexuality like Jenna on 30 Rock? Because if so," Gretchen took a moment to dramatically pull away, "awkward."
Claire giggled as she pulled Gretchen to her once more. "No, after giving Micah his transplant and spending every day in the hospital with him for his checkups, staying at his bedside for over a month, Monica has finally suggested a fresh start."
"Well, that’s great. Fresh start means new friendship with someone. Why aren’t we celebrating?" Gretchen asked.
"First of all, if we’re celebrating every friendship we happen to get out of nothing more than persistence we are sad, sad people. Second of all, maybe Monica was right about me all along. Maybe I’m someone who only cares about myself and what I want. Maybe I shouldn’t be dragging her or anyone else down with me," Claire said sadly.
"Listen, I can’t tell you what a good person you are because that’s up to you to decide, but I want to ask you something. Are you still going to be at Micah’s bedside every day? Are you still going to be donating blood and organs everyday? Are you still going to be doing charity work and spending time with your loved ones everyday?" Gretchen asked.
Claire rolled her eyes jokingly at the questions, causing Gretchen to laugh a little.
"Well?" Gretchen prodded giving Claire’s waist a gentle squeeze.
"Yes, yes, all day, everyday. This is my life now," Claire confirmed.
"Well, then to me you are not the person Monica originally thought you were and I think you’re gonna be great friends," Gretchen said.
Claire smiled. "Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m not COMPLETELY awful."
"That’s all I wanted to point out, you know. Maybe, just maybe," Gretchen teased. Claire shoved her lightly and gave her a peck on the lips. She dipped her spoon in the rapidly melting ice cream and held it out for Gretchen to taste. Gretchen obliged and Claire brushed the sweet dessert off her girlfriend’s lips with the pad of her thumb.
Claire eyed her fondly. "What would I do without you?"
"You’ll never have to find out," Gretchen smiled.
Chapter 8