Fic: "A Hole in the World", Stargate Atlantis, John/Rodney, NC-17 (1/4)
Title: A Hole in the World
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters: John/Rodney, Ronon, Zelenka, Lorne, Woolsey, Teyla
Word count: 29 000 words, rated NC-17
Summary: One day, Rodney walks out of Atlantis without saying why and vanishes. While John does everything he can to find him, he is forced to face the fact that he has feelings for Rodney that run deeper than he'd realized.
Note: Detailed thank you notes are in the fic Master Post. Made for scifibigbang, and I think this qualifies for plot20: pursuit.
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. ~ Edna St Vincent Millay
A Hole in the World
The strangest thing isn't that one day Rodney McKay just walks out of Atlantis without an explanation; it's that it takes nearly 24 hours before anyone realizes what happened.
***
When he finally reaches his room, John thinks he should get a medal when he forgoes immediately face-planting on his bed to make a detour in the bathroom for a shower. It proves to be an inspired move when the water, as hot as he can stand it, pounds John's shoulder and he can feel his muscles trying to relax. If he's lucky, the knots won't be permanent. The last three days have been hell, and by that he re-defines the Pit as the act of digging in the clay-like soil of the mainland from sunrise to sunset. But they did, indeed, finish the irrigation ditches to help the Athosian with their crops. In the process, John has done more manual labor than he had done in years. Maybe even in the last couple of years combined. He's not getting any younger and he feels it everywhere.
But if it had been quite an exhausting task, at least everyone seems happy at the result. John used the chore for a well needed boot camp for almost all military personnel, keeping only a minimum watch on Atlantis. John had been reachable by radio at all times in case of emergency, of course, but everything had gone well on both the mainland and in the city, where they'd had quite a nice stretch of no life threatening emergencies. As soon as he thinks about their good streak, John winces, because it would be too bad to jinx everything by the sheer power of thinking about it too loudly. Life in Pegasus is fickle that way. Since there's no wood to knock on, John taps his head.
But yes, everything has gone well save from the fact that John is now one living knot of pain. He takes a little relief in the fact that he's physically done everything he asked of his men and that he's done it to the very end - even when he thought he'd pass out from exhaustion. He's not the only one hurting: even the fittest marines were walking stiffly when they ferried back home, and John is pretty sure that he's gained more respect from the little gang that sometimes view the Flyboys with contempt.
John lets the water cascade on his battered body until he realizes that he's practically sleeping upright, and then quickly washes before getting out of the shower, patting himself dry. He's hungry but it will wait: there's nothing keeping him from his bed now. Slipping under the covers is a Godsend, the sheets cool against his skin, and he has the most comfortable pillow ever. John glances at his alarm clock and decides not to be bothered that he's in bed at 8 pm like a goddamn kid. He just hopes that Rodney won't come over for their regular Tuesday night chess game; there's no way he can hold any concentration at the moment and he doesn't feel like getting his ass kicked, and even less to hear Rodney gloat about it. John considers calling him on the comms, but that would mean stretching his arm for his radio and it's too much effort. Anyway, it's only a matter of seconds before he's out like a light.
***
A piece of friendly advice? No matter the base - and it seems it extends to bases in other galaxies - never touch the oatmeal. Well that's John's opinion, since it always looks and taste like a cross between glue and cement. Not that the cooks don't do their best with what they have over here, but John safely picks the eggs and toast. There's the sort of blueberry jam, too, so John grabs a bit of it, a cup of coffee and makes his way to Teyla and Ronon, who are already sitting in their usual corner.
"Good morning, John," Teyla says with a smile and John tries to cover a wince when he sits. Yes, he's still cramped all over. Ronon smirks and John accidentally kicks his foot under the table.
"And good morning to you," John says with his best smile. "Everyone slept well?"
"Sure," Ronon says. "I think you slept a bit too well, Sheppard, you missed our run," he teases.
"Sorry about that," John says with a grimace. There is no way in hell that he could have followed Ronon on a 5K this morning, as it was he’d been still glued to his mattress in misery.
"Getting stiff in your old age?" Ronon asks, eyes dancing with mirth, before taking a big bite of his muffin. John hadn't seen any muffins and he takes a moment to regret not getting here fifteen minutes earlier.
"I'm not admitting anything of the sort!" John says with a smile, leaning back against his chair and sipping some coffee.
"Perhaps we could do some stretching exercises, later, to ease your pain," Teyla suggests. It's said in a considerate tone, but John hears the teasing loud and clear.
"I'm fine," John says. Since he needs a distraction from this conversation on his body betraying him, John looks around at the tables that are starting to fill. "McKay's already gone to the labs?"
One thing is for sure, Rodney McKay never gets to the mess too late to get the good stuff in the morning. He could even be the cause of the muffin disappearance before John got here. Well him and Ronon. Teyla shakes her head.
"I have not seen Rodney this morning," she says and Ronon agrees with a grunt.
Oh well, it's not unheard of. Either Rodney is already in the labs because he got up real early or didn't go to bed yet, or he worked until the little hours in the morning and will be all but catatonic in his room until noon. John wonders if he should go check in the labs, in the chance he's still there and needs to be pried from whatever project he's obsessing over at the moment.
"Colonel?"
John's shaken from his reverie and looks up at his second in command. Lorne looks preoccupied, and that's never a good sign at 0730.
"Major?"
Lorne falls at parade rest, eyes forward; this is definitely serious. John sits up, frowning up at him.
"Sorry to disturb your breakfast. I'd need to speak to you, sir," Evan says.
And that's when John knows that shit has hit the fan, if Lorne needs to say it like that. On the other hand, if it was a life or death emergency they'd already be on the go. John looks forlornly at his sort of blueberry jam on toast and gets up.
"Okay, let's go," John says.
As he leaves, Ronon snatches his food. Of course. Well, this day could only get better.
***
John sometimes wonders if it's karma that sends him every so often soldiers that are a little too much like he was at their age. This morning's situation - a smartass getting into trouble with a couple of guys with no sense of humor over the attention of a girl the scoundrel was not even interested in - was painfully familiar. John has a little sympathetic thought for his previous COs, although the guilt should pass very soon. But still, interviewing everyone, finding a suitable punishment for all and the assorted paperwork took way too much time. And that's not counting on Lorne who had been devious, taking advantage that John was cornered in his office to make him sign tons of requisitions and other arcane forms.
Before he knows it it's almost lunch time. John thinks Lorne lets him escape just because his stomach is making the most pitiful growls ever. He's so hungry, he could eat a horse. Or whatever it is in the stew they get in the mess; John learned long ago not to ask questions that he doesn't want answered. It's good, that's all he needs to know. John's pushing back his tray to sprawl back against his chair and take a nicely deserved break when Zelenka stops by his table.
"May I?" Radek asks, with a small smile. John smiles back and gestures to the free chairs. He's always liked the man.
"Be my guest," John says.
"Thank you," Radek says, and then eyes his stew suspiciously, poking the mystery meat with his fork.
"Don't worry, Doc, it's not half bad," John says.
Thus encouraged, Zelenka takes a bite and after careful chewing he makes a pleased sound.
"I must agree that it is quite good!" he says, before taking a second bite, neat and civilized, and John can't help but think at how he'd like his own scientist to have better table manners. Ronon could use them too. Maybe Teyla could set up etiquette classes, but John's pretty sure the idea would not go over so well with his teammates.
"So, what's got you guys busy nowadays?" John asks, since he still hasn't heard of McKay today, and it must mean that all the geeks are on to something.
"Power distribution, shield improvement, random failures in a ten thousand year old city, the usual," Radek says with a shrug. "We do not have time for everything, but make the most of it. We even did some exploration lately."
"Yeah, Rodney said something about that," John says, although it was not really a coherent explanation and more like bouncing excitement over something. Since the military had to leave for the Athosian settlement for the irrigation project, John had not had time to learn what it was. John had been promised a tour, though.
"Whatever it is that Rodney found, he is very excited," Radek echoed. "I'm happy to see you are already returned from your mission, maybe he will finally show us."
"Got promised a tour too, huh?" John smiles, and isn't that just like McKay, wanting to make a production of showing off whatever he's found.
When Radek nods, John decides to make it happen ASAP. Whatever it is will certainly improve his day. He dares to hope for a super weapon. Maybe a cool robot. Another scientist sits down at their table and it gives John the excuse to escape. As soon as he's out of the mess hall, he taps his radio.
"McKay, come in."
No answer. John repeats the hail after a minute, but he's still met by silence. Sighing, John decides to go look for Rodney.
***
John reasons that since Rodney practically never turns his comm. off, too preoccupied by security procedure, he must be sleeping. He rings Rodney's door chime, wincing a bit because if he wakes up Rodney, it's not unlike kicking a bee hive. There's no answer, so after a minute, John does it again, using the rhythm of "When the Saints Go Marching In". Pushing Rodney's annoyance buttons can be a good motivator to get him out of bed.
When he's done and there's still no sign that he woke Rodney, not even insults, John pounds on the door.
"Hey, Rodney! Wakie wakie, it's one in the afternoon for crying out loud!" he shouts.
The sleeping quarters are pretty much deserted at this time of the day, but a young guy - John thinks he's a botanist - scurries past him, as if he's afraid to get caught in the blast radius when Rodney finally answers. But Rodney doesn't answer, so all signs point to the fact that he's not even there.
John frowns, uneasy now, and Atlantis is a doll and opens Rodney's door for him. He's going to check, that's it, going in is not an invasion of privacy. John barely steps inside, sees that there's no Rodney-shaped lump passed out from exhaustion on the bed, checks that Rodney didn't drown in his bath, then turns around and he's right back outside. Okay, so Rodney's not sleeping, so he must be too busy doing whatever project he’s favoring lately: sometimes he ignores his radio if he deems it's not worthy of his attention. It's rare, but it never fails to infuriate John. He taps his comm. unit again, but uses the senior staff channel, rarely used outside of emergencies. THAT one is never blocked, he thinks peevishly.
"Doctor Rodney McKay, please report," John says, although he's instinctively going towards the labs. That should do it, the full name and title, worthy of a Wraith armada on the long range sensors.
But it doesn't.
When he gets to the labs, Rodney's usual work spaces are notably empty. In fact, both the main lab and the auxiliary one with the special projects are Rodney-free, there are scientists milling about but no one is edging them along. There's something abnormal going on here. John goes back to the main lab and raises his voice.
"Hey, guys!" he says, and most of the staff turns to him.
"Has anyone seen Rodney?"
***
Clearly, the fact that Rodney's not in the lab at the moment is not seen like a bad thing in itself. Most of the scientists had answered with various shakes of the head or shrugs before going back to work, and if John wasn't mistaken one had grumbled that they were better off without him, anyway. Not dignifying that with an answer, John gets out of the lab and turns opens his radio again.
"Dr. Zelenka, please report," John says.
"Colonel Sheppard?" Zelenka answers immediately.
"I'm looking for Rodney and he's not in the labs. Any ideas where he could be hiding?" John says.
"Maybe in his room, yes?" Zelenka asks.
"Nope, already checked. I'm gonna go see a couple of his hiding spots, but if you see him can you have him call me?" John asks.
"Sure thing Colonel."
"Thanks, Sheppard out."
John can't help it; he has an uneasy feeling about this. He starts a tour of the places he knows Rodney sometimes likes to hide out to work, when he's on a problem that preoccupies him more than usual. More than once John has had to hunt him down to make sure he ate properly or caught a bit of sleep.
His first stop is a balcony on the South tower, with a magnificent view of the city, where Rodney has set up a lounge chair. John regularly comes here himself, when he needs to regroup and have a little peace. No Rodney or any signs he could have been here in the last hours: there are no littered papers or power bar wrappers.
But that's not the only known hiding spot, so John jogs to the West Pier, although this one is generally reserved for introspection business that happens after hairy missions or a major crisis. Once again, no Rodney. From then on, John goes to check on a couple of places where he knows the science team has side projects on hold. After the second deserted lab, John crosses the path of a young marine who straightens as soon as he spots him and salutes. One of the new kids.
"At ease, Hamill." Thank god for name tags on uniforms.
"Sir."
"You're new, right? How do you like the place?" John asks.
"It's beautiful, Sir," the kid says, grinning.
"Sure is," John says, gesturing at Hamill, who looks about to go on with his patrol. John finally speaks up again, as if it's an afterthought; he doesn't want to sound paranoid. "Oh, wait a sec. You know who Dr. McKay is, right?"
The young man smirks.
"Of course. Who doesn't?"
John laughs.
"Please, never say that to his face, we're trying to keep his ego in check. I'm looking for him, have you seen him around?" John asks.
Private Hamill shakes his head.
"No, sorry Sir, I haven’t seen Dr. McKay today."
"Oh well. Well carry on, Private. If you do happen to see him, tell him to report to me?" John asks.
"Sure thing."
With a small salute he goes on his way and John frowns. There's definitely something not right. You don't lose Rodney McKay, ever.
***
As he gets back to the center of the city, John asks everyone he meets if they've seen McKay, trying to keep it casual. By the time he reaches the infirmary he's definitely worried. Carson is in his office, the small one he uses when he comes to Atlantis, elbow deep in paperwork by the look of it.
"Hiya, doc," John drawls, as he leans against the door frame.
Carson looks up and smiles as if John is a very welcome distraction.
"Hello Colonel. Is there something I can do for you?"
"I was just wondering," John says as he enters the office and takes a chair. "Have you seen Rodney today?"
Carson immediately shakes his head.
"No, not today." Carson frowns. "Why, is something wrong?"
"I'm starting to wonder, I radioed and looked all over and I can't find him," John says.
Saying it out loud makes the sense of dread ratchet up a bit in John and he gets up again and starts pacing back and forth, telling Carson about his search.
"Surely he’s just into some very interesting project of his and forgot to surface. You know Rodney," Carson finally says, trying to be reassuring.
John has been telling himself the same thing all day, but there's just one problem with that.
"What if his pet experiment blew in his face? This is Atlantis, Carson," John says with feeling. Atlantis, where stupid lethal shit is just waiting to happen.
Carson frowns and he taps on his own radio.
"Rodney, this is Carson. I need to talk to you," Carson says.
John admires the subtlety in this affirmation to get McKay to finally call back. Maybe Rodney has been ignoring John's calls because he dismissed them as unimportant - even on the command staff channel a little voice nags - but Carson hailing McKay can mean there's something wrong with his health. It's a pretty surefire way to have him call back as soon as he can.
The problem is that Rodney doesn't call back. After five minutes, exasperated, John stops in the middle of the room and faces Carson.
"That's it. I'm setting up a search party."
"Maybe we could ask around?" Carson says.
"I asked around!" John almost shouts. He has a degree in Rodney finding, for crying out loud, he does it so often. John's now convinced that something has happened. He taps his radio.
"Zelenka, come in."
"Colonel?" Zelenka answers with barely any delay. "Have you found Rodney?"
Shit, that means he hasn't seen him either.
"No, any news?"
"I have interrogated the lab personnel and it seems no one has seen Rodney today. It is very unusual," Zelenka says, and there's a definite thread of worry in his voice.
"I want to know every project he was working on in the last few days and their locations."
John only hopes Rodney actually said what he was working on to someone.
"I have already started making a list," Zelenka says, and boy does John love organized people.
"Should I send people to verify those labs?"
"We'll be careful and send military personnel with them. I'm going to do the dispatch right now," John says.
"Then we will wait," Zelenka answers.
"I'll contact you in a minute. Sheppard out."
John notices that Carson is double-checking the content of an emergency kit, obviously getting ready to be on one of the search teams himself. John doesn't know if it reassures him or freaks him out a bit more. He takes a breath and opens comms again.
"Major Lorne, Mr. Woolsey, we have a situation. Meeting in Mr. Woolsey's office in five."
"Yes Sir," comes Lorne's immediate answer.
"I'll be there," Woolsey confirms.
When he finds Rodney, John is going to tear him a new one.
***
Most people, and in that Woolsey is included, seems to think that John is a bit paranoid to start a city search for Rodney just because he could not find him after looking for a couple of hours. But John is comforted that he's doing the right thing when he's backed by Zelenka and Carson, who certainly, with him and the rest of his Team, know Rodney best. With Lorne's help, John sets up three search parties to go through the list Zelenka made of recent projects, and John decides to lead the one to the new part of the city that has just been explored. He takes Zelenka, Ronon, Teyla and Becket with him, and he just wishes that they'll find the damn fucker ASAP and berate him on how everyone was worried about him.
John knows Rodney doesn't always realize how much people really care for him on Atlantis, but they do, and sometimes it's tough love. Ronon has not said a word since he's learned that Rodney's missing, looking pissed. When they do find him - because they will, John can't contemplate any alternative right now - there's a good chance they'll gang up on the guy and make him feel so guilty he'll never ever pull a stunt like that again.
The new labs, explored the week before, are in a part of the city that is far from the center, and therefore had not been deemed interesting enough to check out in the first five years they've been on Atlantis. Not that they had that much leisure time to explore even now, with all of the surviving and fighting for their lives they do, but Rodney had seen something on the database that had him target this particular tower, and here they are.
The corridors have the same abandoned feel of the city as when they first got here, with the creepy dead plants here and there and almost complete silence but for their footsteps and occasional words.
"It is this area," Zelenka says, poking at his tablet. "This corridor in particular. Rodney spent quite a lot of time in these labs when he first discovered them."
John has a hunch that if Rodney's not here, he isn't anywhere else. If he got trapped, or something worse, they just need to be careful. The problem is that there's no dot appearing on the life sign detector, and that's really worrisome. Maybe one of these rooms has something that smudges the signal, though.
"Okay, then we'll go room by room with extreme caution and no one touches anything. If there's something out of the ordinary, or a sign Rodney has been here, say it immediately, and we'll regroup before investigating."
He gestures to Ronon, Teyla and Becket to take the right hand side of the corridor as he and Zelenka take the left. Before entering a room, John takes the time to check it out properly, then goes in with caution, careful not to give anything that would be in the room the idea that it needs to react. The first room is set with tables in a half circular pattern and a dais in the front; it's easy to imagine a classroom, or an amphitheater to provide entertainment. Knowing what he does of the Ancients, John decides that a classroom is way more plausible. No Rodney, though, so they leave it behind, and enter a lab that has all but been wiped clean of equipment. Zelenka's eyes go from his tablet to the room, and he turns to John.
"There does not seem to be any storage space."
John agrees: no need to lose time here. They are entering a second lab that's almost exactly the same as the first and just as uninteresting when John's radio chirps.
"Sheppard, there's a locked door," Ronon says. "Carson can't open it."
Atlantis might be playing favorites with John most of the time, but she rarely keeps a door closed to people expressing the gene naturally. John shares a look with Zelenka and they hurry over where Carson, Teyla and Ronon are observing a door that looks exactly the same as all of the others. John goes to stand right in front of it and thinks as authoritative as he can that he wants it to open now, but it doesn't bulge.
"Damnit, won't open for me either," John says, frustrated.
"Let me," Zelenka says, already opening the panel on the wall to play with the crystals, a frown on his face. "This was deliberate. Whoever got the door closed did not want anyone to open it."
"Rodney?" John asks.
"It could be. But it has been done from this side of the door."
Why would Rodney or anyone block the door? Either it's because what is inside is totally awesome and Rodney wanted to be the only one working on it, or at the opposite it's insanely dangerous and he needed people to keep out. In this case, though, wouldn't he have warned the rest of the expedition of the danger? There's another possibility, though: that someone has closed the door while Rodney was still inside. There's still no activity on the life sign detector, but John is going in.
"Can you open it?" John asks.
"Yes. Allow me two minutes," Zelenka says, permuting crystals, some that he then puts back in upside down. Locking the door was definitely the work of someone deeply at ease with the system, or, if not, determined to mess stuff around as much as he could.
"John, I wonder if it is advisable to open the door?" Teyla risks, and John glares at her. She looks concerned, but meets his eyes right on and does not break eye contact. John knows she wants to find Rodney as much as he does, and that she's no coward. She's visibly worried by what could be on the other side of the door.
"I'm wondering the same, Colonel," Carson adds. "Maybe we should get hazmat suits?"
It's not like there are no grounds for concern, but what if Rodney's in danger? John doesn't want to wait one more second, and getting the suits would make them lose half an hour at a minimum. John scans their surroundings and sees that there are blast doors at each end of the corridor.
"I get that we should be careful, but I'm not waiting for the suits. Let's isolate the corridor. I'll go in there," John points to the door, "and see if it's clear. Then I'll signal you in."
More than one face has a 'how will you know it's all clear?' expression, but they don't voice it.
"I'll go in with you," Ronon says.
John nods his approval. He hates to expose Ronon to danger unnecessarily, but backup is backup and sometimes it's needed.
"It should open, now," Zelenka says, straightening up and readjusting his glasses.
"Okay, guys, let's do this. Everyone out," John says and the others get into position. When they're safe on the other side of the blast doors, John taps his radio.
"Are you guys ready?" he asks.
"Yes, John. Be cautious," Teyla answers.
"OK, going in," John says, and this time the door opens nicely for him.
John steps inside cautiously, this time feeling the hum of Ancient technology calling for his attention. It's a lab, just as he thought it would be, and a rapid and efficient sweep of the place with Ronon shows that there is no one in it. No bodies, either, his subconscious unhelpfully adds, and John lets go a breath he didn't know he was holding before he lowers his gun.
Not even ten seconds are needed to check the place completely, but it's obvious that if it's deserted right now, Rodney has been here recently: John would recognize the organized mess he creates around himself anywhere. There are a couple of coffee cups and a plate with crumbs on a work table, where a laptop is opened but asleep at the moment. Next to it are various trinkets and tools, and a weirdly shaped device with various protuberances that look like stainless steel tentacles; the device is not much bigger than a soccer ball and is hooked to the computer. The pull coming from it is particularly strong, a reaction which makes John recoil. Contrary to what some people say, he's learned to keep his hands to himself.
"What's that?" Ronon asks.
"I have no idea," John says, but he intends to find out. "All clear over here," he says on his search party's frequency. "Zelenka I'd like your input on something."
The others come in not a minute later and gather around the worktable, just as John swipes a finger on the laptop's touch-pad to wake it up. It's set on a screen with red letters filling the screen.
"DANGER!!!! DO NOT TOUCH THIS FUCKING MACHINE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. NOT EVEN YOU RADEK! GET OUT, NOW!"
Well shit. John exchanges a worried glance with Zelenka, who checks something quickly on the laptop.
"This message was created at one pm yesterday," he says.
"Maybe we should go," Carson says, looking a little spooked, before pushing one of the coffee mugs towards John. Frowning, John sees that it's half full and that - coffee Rodney didn't take time to drink - is probably a sign of the apocalypse.
"Okay, yes, everybody out and let's seal this lab until we know more," John says, eying the Ancient device that has various lights randomly lighting up on it. It's been activated, probably by Rodney, and all the signs suggest it was not a good idea. Zelenka unhooks cables from the laptop, which makes John frown. "He said not to touch the machine."
"But nothing about the computer. If I want to know what is going on, I need to be able to search something," Zelenka replies. John lets him grab the laptop before ushering him out.
The first thing Zelenka does is to pull out the crystals of the door mechanism, and then puts them in his pocket so no one can open the door anymore.
"I want to know what the hell is going on," John demands, almost vibrating with the need for something to happen, a new lead, anything. They're almost as much in the dark than before they found this lab. In fact it's even worse: not only is Rodney missing, but he's gone after discovering something potentially dangerous.
"Oh, me too," Radek says, his mouth a thin line. "I will search this computer and get back to you."
***
The idea to go ask Atlantis itself where Rodney is only comes to John half an hour later, after it's been announced on loudspeaker that anyone having seen Dr. Rodney McKay after 1300 the previous day needs to report to Major Lorne. John makes his way to the chair room and sits down. Sensing the incredible rush of Atlantis connecting to every single one of his nerve endings never gets old. It's a feeling that is incredibly strong, where he feels like he's a cog in the machine, but it's not perfect and John has learned that Atlantis won't hand him what he wants to know on a silver platter. To communicate with the city and expect feedback, he needs to concentrate to illustrate - if possible - his questions in visual concepts.
Every member of the expedition is set with sub-cutaneous transmitters, so that's the first thing John asks for, stressing he wants to locate Rodney's frequency. There's no signal. John takes a breath, forcing it not to be shaky, and then calls the general map of the city and the illustration of each and every life sign it contains, which is a pretty basic operation. The problem with this is that they are not personalized, making it almost impossible to know which dot is who. John mentally labels the dot in the chair room at his name. He then asks for video feed from the gate room, and subsequently identifies each dot over there with a name.
John knows that Atlantis keeps track of everyone inhabiting her, so once he's started and done half a dozen people, he nudges her so she does the rest. It's almost instantaneous, little names appearing beside dots all over. John praises her, and he can almost feel a vibration of content. This feature could be useful on so many levels, although the potential for breach of privacy is also very high. John decides to keep the new and improved life sign identification to himself, at least for the moment.
Once every dot is identified, it's easy enough to ask to see Rodney's. Unfortunately, the screen goes blank. Frowning, John asks for Zelenka and a dot immediately appears in the labs. John nudges Atlantis again, "where's Rodney?"
Nothing lights up. John starts to feel queasy, because that's terrible news. Rodney got out of a lab where there was something dangerous, and now there's no life sign at his name?
"Colonel Sheppard, come in." It's Lorne.
"Any news?" he asks, hoping that they haven't found a body. Shit.
"Dr. McKay left with a gate team for YY7-636 yesterday at 1345."
"What?" John says, coming to a full stop, blinking. There's no life sign because Rodney stepped out of the city. Could it be that easy? "Why didn't anyone say something?"
He had no idea that Rodney had a mission scheduled on another planet, in fact, he was pretty sure that he had NONE. Rodney had been very clear that his time would be better spent on Atlantis, finally looking into the million and one projects that needed his attention, than to go dig trenches on the mainland.
"No one thought to ask the gate technicians. SGA-4 is scheduled to check in on the hour, Sir. So far, every check up has been done and the mission is going as planned."
Getting up from the chair, John starts walking towards the gate room. He's gonna be there for that check in, that's for sure.
"And what is the mission, exactly?" John can't quite remember what YY7-636 stands for, although he's pretty sure he'd know if it's a technological advanced civilization.
"Well..." at the hesitation, John knows something is wrong. "Grain negotiation, Sir."
John's jaw falls open and his stomach does a weird twist. Definitely something fishy, here, he doesn't like it at all.
The young guy who's with Lorne near the communication unit when John arrives in the gate room looks nervous, twisting the hem of his shirt. Another newbie, and he almost shrinks in on himself when he spots John advancing towards him. Summoning a calm he's not feeling at all, John even tries to smile while saluting Lorne and gesturing him to be at ease.
"Hi there, what's your name?" he asks the kid.
"Matt Forsberg, Colonel." Minutely, the guy relaxes. John has the impression he thought he'd be yelled at.
"Tell me everything you know."
"As I told Major Lorne, Dr. McKay was with SGA-4 when we opened the wormhole for YY7-636. He went through with them at 1345," Forsberg says.
"That didn't seem unusual to you?" John tries to make the question as mellow as he can.
This time Forsberg blushes.
"Uh, no. His name was on the schedule, with SGA-4, and they didn't say anything unusual. McKay was only urging that we just open the gate already, but that's..." he shrugs, looking apologetic.
Yeah, pretty much par for the course for McKay. But something ain't right.
"You say his name was on the schedule?" John asks.
Forsberg nods, and calls a listing on the computer. It indeed has Rodney's name set to get out with SGA-4, for fucking grain negotiation. John taps the screen with his finger.
"I want to know who put his name there and when, go through the log-ins," John says.
Forsberg nods, already starting to type commands to pull the data.
Sighing, John straightens up.
"SGA-4 is supposed to check in soon?" he asks Lorne, who looks as puzzled as John feels.
"Yes, in eighteen minutes or so."
Nothing much to do until they do.
"Find out everything we have on YY7-636, I want to know why McKay had a sudden urge to go off world when he was not forced to do so."
"Yes, Sir," Lorne says, before walking a couple of steps away and tapping his radio to give instructions.
"Huh," Forsberg says, staring at this screen. He sounds surprised.
"Whaddaya got?" John asks.
"Dr. McKay's name was added to the expedition rooster at 1320."
Twenty-five minutes before departure, definitely not usual procedure. John asks the question even if he's pretty sure he knows the answer.
"Who added it?"
Forsberg looks up at John with his pale blue eyes, knowing that the answer won't give any more clues.
"Dr. McKay did it himself."
***
The next fifteen minutes seem to take forever. John's pacing the gallery thinking of all the ways he's gonna give Rodney hell for going off like that without telling anyone when the chevrons finally start moving for an incoming wormhole. When the puddle has stabilized, Forsberg speaks up.
"It's Sergeant Smith's IDC, Sir."
SGA-4, checking in on time. At least that's a relief.
"Hey Sergeant, how's your mission going?" John asks.
"Colonel Sheppard? Huh...'" after a moment of hesitation, Smith's voice firms and he continues. "Fine Sir, everything is going fine. Just checking in on schedule, and we should have wrapped this mission as planned for a return to base tonight."
Smith doesn't seem to be talking under menace, because he didn't use any of the code conversation that has been set up for this kind of situation. Changing his angle, John asks what he really wants to know.
"That's great. Is Doctor McKay in range of communication?"
"Dr. McKay?" Smith says.
As if he's never heard of the guy.
"Talks a mile a minute, self proclaimed genius... he's pretty hard to miss. Is Dr. Rodney McKay with you or not?" John finds it very hard by that point to not yell in his radio.
"But Dr. McKay went back to Atlantis!" Smith replies and John twirls to frown at Forsberg, who looks completely surprised.
"Details, Sergeant," John says, curt.
"He came here with us, something he needed at the market. He bought it as we were going across the fair to the negotiating tents, and then announced to Major Kersey that he was going back to Atlantis," Smith explains.
"And that's it? You let him go back to the gate on his own?" John says.
Shit, Rodney could have been kidnapped on the way there, especially through a market with traders from many worlds, and who knew, maybe Genii spies too. Rodney is getting way too coveted across Pegasus.
"No, Sir, I went back to the gate with him. It annoyed him, but we have orders, no civilians wandering on their own off world, especially not Dr. McKay. At the gate, he punched the address on the DHD, gave his IDC, and went through the puddle. We then proceeded with the mission as planned."
Forsberg is shaking his head, frowning and probably checking the gate activity.
"At what time did Dr. McKay supposedly gate back?" Forsberg asks.
"It was pretty much 1430 on the dot. Why, he didn't make it back?" Smith asks.
Forsberg looks up at John and shakes his head no. Shit. John closes his eyes for a second, hoping they're not as screwed as he thinks they are.
"No, he did not. Sergeant, I want you and SGA-4 to come back to Atlantis right now for debrief," John says.
"Yes Sir, we're almost done..." Smith says.
"I said NOW!" John barks and sees in his peripheral vision that all military personnel around him jumped to attention, spine straight.
"Sir, yes Sir!" Sergeant Smith says. "I'll go get the rest of my team right now, Smith out."
John realizes he's clenching his jaw so hard that he's in danger of busting a tooth.
"All command staff are needed in the conference room as well as Dr Zelenka, Dex, Emmagan and Major Lorne. Sheppard out," John says quickly in his radio, and then turns to Forsberg. "You too, and bring the data from yesterday."
Someone better have an answer for him soon, or some heads are going to roll.
***
Part 2
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters: John/Rodney, Ronon, Zelenka, Lorne, Woolsey, Teyla
Word count: 29 000 words, rated NC-17
Summary: One day, Rodney walks out of Atlantis without saying why and vanishes. While John does everything he can to find him, he is forced to face the fact that he has feelings for Rodney that run deeper than he'd realized.
Note: Detailed thank you notes are in the fic Master Post. Made for scifibigbang, and I think this qualifies for plot20: pursuit.
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. ~ Edna St Vincent Millay
A Hole in the World
The strangest thing isn't that one day Rodney McKay just walks out of Atlantis without an explanation; it's that it takes nearly 24 hours before anyone realizes what happened.
***
When he finally reaches his room, John thinks he should get a medal when he forgoes immediately face-planting on his bed to make a detour in the bathroom for a shower. It proves to be an inspired move when the water, as hot as he can stand it, pounds John's shoulder and he can feel his muscles trying to relax. If he's lucky, the knots won't be permanent. The last three days have been hell, and by that he re-defines the Pit as the act of digging in the clay-like soil of the mainland from sunrise to sunset. But they did, indeed, finish the irrigation ditches to help the Athosian with their crops. In the process, John has done more manual labor than he had done in years. Maybe even in the last couple of years combined. He's not getting any younger and he feels it everywhere.
But if it had been quite an exhausting task, at least everyone seems happy at the result. John used the chore for a well needed boot camp for almost all military personnel, keeping only a minimum watch on Atlantis. John had been reachable by radio at all times in case of emergency, of course, but everything had gone well on both the mainland and in the city, where they'd had quite a nice stretch of no life threatening emergencies. As soon as he thinks about their good streak, John winces, because it would be too bad to jinx everything by the sheer power of thinking about it too loudly. Life in Pegasus is fickle that way. Since there's no wood to knock on, John taps his head.
But yes, everything has gone well save from the fact that John is now one living knot of pain. He takes a little relief in the fact that he's physically done everything he asked of his men and that he's done it to the very end - even when he thought he'd pass out from exhaustion. He's not the only one hurting: even the fittest marines were walking stiffly when they ferried back home, and John is pretty sure that he's gained more respect from the little gang that sometimes view the Flyboys with contempt.
John lets the water cascade on his battered body until he realizes that he's practically sleeping upright, and then quickly washes before getting out of the shower, patting himself dry. He's hungry but it will wait: there's nothing keeping him from his bed now. Slipping under the covers is a Godsend, the sheets cool against his skin, and he has the most comfortable pillow ever. John glances at his alarm clock and decides not to be bothered that he's in bed at 8 pm like a goddamn kid. He just hopes that Rodney won't come over for their regular Tuesday night chess game; there's no way he can hold any concentration at the moment and he doesn't feel like getting his ass kicked, and even less to hear Rodney gloat about it. John considers calling him on the comms, but that would mean stretching his arm for his radio and it's too much effort. Anyway, it's only a matter of seconds before he's out like a light.
***
A piece of friendly advice? No matter the base - and it seems it extends to bases in other galaxies - never touch the oatmeal. Well that's John's opinion, since it always looks and taste like a cross between glue and cement. Not that the cooks don't do their best with what they have over here, but John safely picks the eggs and toast. There's the sort of blueberry jam, too, so John grabs a bit of it, a cup of coffee and makes his way to Teyla and Ronon, who are already sitting in their usual corner.
"Good morning, John," Teyla says with a smile and John tries to cover a wince when he sits. Yes, he's still cramped all over. Ronon smirks and John accidentally kicks his foot under the table.
"And good morning to you," John says with his best smile. "Everyone slept well?"
"Sure," Ronon says. "I think you slept a bit too well, Sheppard, you missed our run," he teases.
"Sorry about that," John says with a grimace. There is no way in hell that he could have followed Ronon on a 5K this morning, as it was he’d been still glued to his mattress in misery.
"Getting stiff in your old age?" Ronon asks, eyes dancing with mirth, before taking a big bite of his muffin. John hadn't seen any muffins and he takes a moment to regret not getting here fifteen minutes earlier.
"I'm not admitting anything of the sort!" John says with a smile, leaning back against his chair and sipping some coffee.
"Perhaps we could do some stretching exercises, later, to ease your pain," Teyla suggests. It's said in a considerate tone, but John hears the teasing loud and clear.
"I'm fine," John says. Since he needs a distraction from this conversation on his body betraying him, John looks around at the tables that are starting to fill. "McKay's already gone to the labs?"
One thing is for sure, Rodney McKay never gets to the mess too late to get the good stuff in the morning. He could even be the cause of the muffin disappearance before John got here. Well him and Ronon. Teyla shakes her head.
"I have not seen Rodney this morning," she says and Ronon agrees with a grunt.
Oh well, it's not unheard of. Either Rodney is already in the labs because he got up real early or didn't go to bed yet, or he worked until the little hours in the morning and will be all but catatonic in his room until noon. John wonders if he should go check in the labs, in the chance he's still there and needs to be pried from whatever project he's obsessing over at the moment.
"Colonel?"
John's shaken from his reverie and looks up at his second in command. Lorne looks preoccupied, and that's never a good sign at 0730.
"Major?"
Lorne falls at parade rest, eyes forward; this is definitely serious. John sits up, frowning up at him.
"Sorry to disturb your breakfast. I'd need to speak to you, sir," Evan says.
And that's when John knows that shit has hit the fan, if Lorne needs to say it like that. On the other hand, if it was a life or death emergency they'd already be on the go. John looks forlornly at his sort of blueberry jam on toast and gets up.
"Okay, let's go," John says.
As he leaves, Ronon snatches his food. Of course. Well, this day could only get better.
***
John sometimes wonders if it's karma that sends him every so often soldiers that are a little too much like he was at their age. This morning's situation - a smartass getting into trouble with a couple of guys with no sense of humor over the attention of a girl the scoundrel was not even interested in - was painfully familiar. John has a little sympathetic thought for his previous COs, although the guilt should pass very soon. But still, interviewing everyone, finding a suitable punishment for all and the assorted paperwork took way too much time. And that's not counting on Lorne who had been devious, taking advantage that John was cornered in his office to make him sign tons of requisitions and other arcane forms.
Before he knows it it's almost lunch time. John thinks Lorne lets him escape just because his stomach is making the most pitiful growls ever. He's so hungry, he could eat a horse. Or whatever it is in the stew they get in the mess; John learned long ago not to ask questions that he doesn't want answered. It's good, that's all he needs to know. John's pushing back his tray to sprawl back against his chair and take a nicely deserved break when Zelenka stops by his table.
"May I?" Radek asks, with a small smile. John smiles back and gestures to the free chairs. He's always liked the man.
"Be my guest," John says.
"Thank you," Radek says, and then eyes his stew suspiciously, poking the mystery meat with his fork.
"Don't worry, Doc, it's not half bad," John says.
Thus encouraged, Zelenka takes a bite and after careful chewing he makes a pleased sound.
"I must agree that it is quite good!" he says, before taking a second bite, neat and civilized, and John can't help but think at how he'd like his own scientist to have better table manners. Ronon could use them too. Maybe Teyla could set up etiquette classes, but John's pretty sure the idea would not go over so well with his teammates.
"So, what's got you guys busy nowadays?" John asks, since he still hasn't heard of McKay today, and it must mean that all the geeks are on to something.
"Power distribution, shield improvement, random failures in a ten thousand year old city, the usual," Radek says with a shrug. "We do not have time for everything, but make the most of it. We even did some exploration lately."
"Yeah, Rodney said something about that," John says, although it was not really a coherent explanation and more like bouncing excitement over something. Since the military had to leave for the Athosian settlement for the irrigation project, John had not had time to learn what it was. John had been promised a tour, though.
"Whatever it is that Rodney found, he is very excited," Radek echoed. "I'm happy to see you are already returned from your mission, maybe he will finally show us."
"Got promised a tour too, huh?" John smiles, and isn't that just like McKay, wanting to make a production of showing off whatever he's found.
When Radek nods, John decides to make it happen ASAP. Whatever it is will certainly improve his day. He dares to hope for a super weapon. Maybe a cool robot. Another scientist sits down at their table and it gives John the excuse to escape. As soon as he's out of the mess hall, he taps his radio.
"McKay, come in."
No answer. John repeats the hail after a minute, but he's still met by silence. Sighing, John decides to go look for Rodney.
***
John reasons that since Rodney practically never turns his comm. off, too preoccupied by security procedure, he must be sleeping. He rings Rodney's door chime, wincing a bit because if he wakes up Rodney, it's not unlike kicking a bee hive. There's no answer, so after a minute, John does it again, using the rhythm of "When the Saints Go Marching In". Pushing Rodney's annoyance buttons can be a good motivator to get him out of bed.
When he's done and there's still no sign that he woke Rodney, not even insults, John pounds on the door.
"Hey, Rodney! Wakie wakie, it's one in the afternoon for crying out loud!" he shouts.
The sleeping quarters are pretty much deserted at this time of the day, but a young guy - John thinks he's a botanist - scurries past him, as if he's afraid to get caught in the blast radius when Rodney finally answers. But Rodney doesn't answer, so all signs point to the fact that he's not even there.
John frowns, uneasy now, and Atlantis is a doll and opens Rodney's door for him. He's going to check, that's it, going in is not an invasion of privacy. John barely steps inside, sees that there's no Rodney-shaped lump passed out from exhaustion on the bed, checks that Rodney didn't drown in his bath, then turns around and he's right back outside. Okay, so Rodney's not sleeping, so he must be too busy doing whatever project he’s favoring lately: sometimes he ignores his radio if he deems it's not worthy of his attention. It's rare, but it never fails to infuriate John. He taps his comm. unit again, but uses the senior staff channel, rarely used outside of emergencies. THAT one is never blocked, he thinks peevishly.
"Doctor Rodney McKay, please report," John says, although he's instinctively going towards the labs. That should do it, the full name and title, worthy of a Wraith armada on the long range sensors.
But it doesn't.
When he gets to the labs, Rodney's usual work spaces are notably empty. In fact, both the main lab and the auxiliary one with the special projects are Rodney-free, there are scientists milling about but no one is edging them along. There's something abnormal going on here. John goes back to the main lab and raises his voice.
"Hey, guys!" he says, and most of the staff turns to him.
"Has anyone seen Rodney?"
***
Clearly, the fact that Rodney's not in the lab at the moment is not seen like a bad thing in itself. Most of the scientists had answered with various shakes of the head or shrugs before going back to work, and if John wasn't mistaken one had grumbled that they were better off without him, anyway. Not dignifying that with an answer, John gets out of the lab and turns opens his radio again.
"Dr. Zelenka, please report," John says.
"Colonel Sheppard?" Zelenka answers immediately.
"I'm looking for Rodney and he's not in the labs. Any ideas where he could be hiding?" John says.
"Maybe in his room, yes?" Zelenka asks.
"Nope, already checked. I'm gonna go see a couple of his hiding spots, but if you see him can you have him call me?" John asks.
"Sure thing Colonel."
"Thanks, Sheppard out."
John can't help it; he has an uneasy feeling about this. He starts a tour of the places he knows Rodney sometimes likes to hide out to work, when he's on a problem that preoccupies him more than usual. More than once John has had to hunt him down to make sure he ate properly or caught a bit of sleep.
His first stop is a balcony on the South tower, with a magnificent view of the city, where Rodney has set up a lounge chair. John regularly comes here himself, when he needs to regroup and have a little peace. No Rodney or any signs he could have been here in the last hours: there are no littered papers or power bar wrappers.
But that's not the only known hiding spot, so John jogs to the West Pier, although this one is generally reserved for introspection business that happens after hairy missions or a major crisis. Once again, no Rodney. From then on, John goes to check on a couple of places where he knows the science team has side projects on hold. After the second deserted lab, John crosses the path of a young marine who straightens as soon as he spots him and salutes. One of the new kids.
"At ease, Hamill." Thank god for name tags on uniforms.
"Sir."
"You're new, right? How do you like the place?" John asks.
"It's beautiful, Sir," the kid says, grinning.
"Sure is," John says, gesturing at Hamill, who looks about to go on with his patrol. John finally speaks up again, as if it's an afterthought; he doesn't want to sound paranoid. "Oh, wait a sec. You know who Dr. McKay is, right?"
The young man smirks.
"Of course. Who doesn't?"
John laughs.
"Please, never say that to his face, we're trying to keep his ego in check. I'm looking for him, have you seen him around?" John asks.
Private Hamill shakes his head.
"No, sorry Sir, I haven’t seen Dr. McKay today."
"Oh well. Well carry on, Private. If you do happen to see him, tell him to report to me?" John asks.
"Sure thing."
With a small salute he goes on his way and John frowns. There's definitely something not right. You don't lose Rodney McKay, ever.
***
As he gets back to the center of the city, John asks everyone he meets if they've seen McKay, trying to keep it casual. By the time he reaches the infirmary he's definitely worried. Carson is in his office, the small one he uses when he comes to Atlantis, elbow deep in paperwork by the look of it.
"Hiya, doc," John drawls, as he leans against the door frame.
Carson looks up and smiles as if John is a very welcome distraction.
"Hello Colonel. Is there something I can do for you?"
"I was just wondering," John says as he enters the office and takes a chair. "Have you seen Rodney today?"
Carson immediately shakes his head.
"No, not today." Carson frowns. "Why, is something wrong?"
"I'm starting to wonder, I radioed and looked all over and I can't find him," John says.
Saying it out loud makes the sense of dread ratchet up a bit in John and he gets up again and starts pacing back and forth, telling Carson about his search.
"Surely he’s just into some very interesting project of his and forgot to surface. You know Rodney," Carson finally says, trying to be reassuring.
John has been telling himself the same thing all day, but there's just one problem with that.
"What if his pet experiment blew in his face? This is Atlantis, Carson," John says with feeling. Atlantis, where stupid lethal shit is just waiting to happen.
Carson frowns and he taps on his own radio.
"Rodney, this is Carson. I need to talk to you," Carson says.
John admires the subtlety in this affirmation to get McKay to finally call back. Maybe Rodney has been ignoring John's calls because he dismissed them as unimportant - even on the command staff channel a little voice nags - but Carson hailing McKay can mean there's something wrong with his health. It's a pretty surefire way to have him call back as soon as he can.
The problem is that Rodney doesn't call back. After five minutes, exasperated, John stops in the middle of the room and faces Carson.
"That's it. I'm setting up a search party."
"Maybe we could ask around?" Carson says.
"I asked around!" John almost shouts. He has a degree in Rodney finding, for crying out loud, he does it so often. John's now convinced that something has happened. He taps his radio.
"Zelenka, come in."
"Colonel?" Zelenka answers with barely any delay. "Have you found Rodney?"
Shit, that means he hasn't seen him either.
"No, any news?"
"I have interrogated the lab personnel and it seems no one has seen Rodney today. It is very unusual," Zelenka says, and there's a definite thread of worry in his voice.
"I want to know every project he was working on in the last few days and their locations."
John only hopes Rodney actually said what he was working on to someone.
"I have already started making a list," Zelenka says, and boy does John love organized people.
"Should I send people to verify those labs?"
"We'll be careful and send military personnel with them. I'm going to do the dispatch right now," John says.
"Then we will wait," Zelenka answers.
"I'll contact you in a minute. Sheppard out."
John notices that Carson is double-checking the content of an emergency kit, obviously getting ready to be on one of the search teams himself. John doesn't know if it reassures him or freaks him out a bit more. He takes a breath and opens comms again.
"Major Lorne, Mr. Woolsey, we have a situation. Meeting in Mr. Woolsey's office in five."
"Yes Sir," comes Lorne's immediate answer.
"I'll be there," Woolsey confirms.
When he finds Rodney, John is going to tear him a new one.
***
Most people, and in that Woolsey is included, seems to think that John is a bit paranoid to start a city search for Rodney just because he could not find him after looking for a couple of hours. But John is comforted that he's doing the right thing when he's backed by Zelenka and Carson, who certainly, with him and the rest of his Team, know Rodney best. With Lorne's help, John sets up three search parties to go through the list Zelenka made of recent projects, and John decides to lead the one to the new part of the city that has just been explored. He takes Zelenka, Ronon, Teyla and Becket with him, and he just wishes that they'll find the damn fucker ASAP and berate him on how everyone was worried about him.
John knows Rodney doesn't always realize how much people really care for him on Atlantis, but they do, and sometimes it's tough love. Ronon has not said a word since he's learned that Rodney's missing, looking pissed. When they do find him - because they will, John can't contemplate any alternative right now - there's a good chance they'll gang up on the guy and make him feel so guilty he'll never ever pull a stunt like that again.
The new labs, explored the week before, are in a part of the city that is far from the center, and therefore had not been deemed interesting enough to check out in the first five years they've been on Atlantis. Not that they had that much leisure time to explore even now, with all of the surviving and fighting for their lives they do, but Rodney had seen something on the database that had him target this particular tower, and here they are.
The corridors have the same abandoned feel of the city as when they first got here, with the creepy dead plants here and there and almost complete silence but for their footsteps and occasional words.
"It is this area," Zelenka says, poking at his tablet. "This corridor in particular. Rodney spent quite a lot of time in these labs when he first discovered them."
John has a hunch that if Rodney's not here, he isn't anywhere else. If he got trapped, or something worse, they just need to be careful. The problem is that there's no dot appearing on the life sign detector, and that's really worrisome. Maybe one of these rooms has something that smudges the signal, though.
"Okay, then we'll go room by room with extreme caution and no one touches anything. If there's something out of the ordinary, or a sign Rodney has been here, say it immediately, and we'll regroup before investigating."
He gestures to Ronon, Teyla and Becket to take the right hand side of the corridor as he and Zelenka take the left. Before entering a room, John takes the time to check it out properly, then goes in with caution, careful not to give anything that would be in the room the idea that it needs to react. The first room is set with tables in a half circular pattern and a dais in the front; it's easy to imagine a classroom, or an amphitheater to provide entertainment. Knowing what he does of the Ancients, John decides that a classroom is way more plausible. No Rodney, though, so they leave it behind, and enter a lab that has all but been wiped clean of equipment. Zelenka's eyes go from his tablet to the room, and he turns to John.
"There does not seem to be any storage space."
John agrees: no need to lose time here. They are entering a second lab that's almost exactly the same as the first and just as uninteresting when John's radio chirps.
"Sheppard, there's a locked door," Ronon says. "Carson can't open it."
Atlantis might be playing favorites with John most of the time, but she rarely keeps a door closed to people expressing the gene naturally. John shares a look with Zelenka and they hurry over where Carson, Teyla and Ronon are observing a door that looks exactly the same as all of the others. John goes to stand right in front of it and thinks as authoritative as he can that he wants it to open now, but it doesn't bulge.
"Damnit, won't open for me either," John says, frustrated.
"Let me," Zelenka says, already opening the panel on the wall to play with the crystals, a frown on his face. "This was deliberate. Whoever got the door closed did not want anyone to open it."
"Rodney?" John asks.
"It could be. But it has been done from this side of the door."
Why would Rodney or anyone block the door? Either it's because what is inside is totally awesome and Rodney wanted to be the only one working on it, or at the opposite it's insanely dangerous and he needed people to keep out. In this case, though, wouldn't he have warned the rest of the expedition of the danger? There's another possibility, though: that someone has closed the door while Rodney was still inside. There's still no activity on the life sign detector, but John is going in.
"Can you open it?" John asks.
"Yes. Allow me two minutes," Zelenka says, permuting crystals, some that he then puts back in upside down. Locking the door was definitely the work of someone deeply at ease with the system, or, if not, determined to mess stuff around as much as he could.
"John, I wonder if it is advisable to open the door?" Teyla risks, and John glares at her. She looks concerned, but meets his eyes right on and does not break eye contact. John knows she wants to find Rodney as much as he does, and that she's no coward. She's visibly worried by what could be on the other side of the door.
"I'm wondering the same, Colonel," Carson adds. "Maybe we should get hazmat suits?"
It's not like there are no grounds for concern, but what if Rodney's in danger? John doesn't want to wait one more second, and getting the suits would make them lose half an hour at a minimum. John scans their surroundings and sees that there are blast doors at each end of the corridor.
"I get that we should be careful, but I'm not waiting for the suits. Let's isolate the corridor. I'll go in there," John points to the door, "and see if it's clear. Then I'll signal you in."
More than one face has a 'how will you know it's all clear?' expression, but they don't voice it.
"I'll go in with you," Ronon says.
John nods his approval. He hates to expose Ronon to danger unnecessarily, but backup is backup and sometimes it's needed.
"It should open, now," Zelenka says, straightening up and readjusting his glasses.
"Okay, guys, let's do this. Everyone out," John says and the others get into position. When they're safe on the other side of the blast doors, John taps his radio.
"Are you guys ready?" he asks.
"Yes, John. Be cautious," Teyla answers.
"OK, going in," John says, and this time the door opens nicely for him.
John steps inside cautiously, this time feeling the hum of Ancient technology calling for his attention. It's a lab, just as he thought it would be, and a rapid and efficient sweep of the place with Ronon shows that there is no one in it. No bodies, either, his subconscious unhelpfully adds, and John lets go a breath he didn't know he was holding before he lowers his gun.
Not even ten seconds are needed to check the place completely, but it's obvious that if it's deserted right now, Rodney has been here recently: John would recognize the organized mess he creates around himself anywhere. There are a couple of coffee cups and a plate with crumbs on a work table, where a laptop is opened but asleep at the moment. Next to it are various trinkets and tools, and a weirdly shaped device with various protuberances that look like stainless steel tentacles; the device is not much bigger than a soccer ball and is hooked to the computer. The pull coming from it is particularly strong, a reaction which makes John recoil. Contrary to what some people say, he's learned to keep his hands to himself.
"What's that?" Ronon asks.
"I have no idea," John says, but he intends to find out. "All clear over here," he says on his search party's frequency. "Zelenka I'd like your input on something."
The others come in not a minute later and gather around the worktable, just as John swipes a finger on the laptop's touch-pad to wake it up. It's set on a screen with red letters filling the screen.
"DANGER!!!! DO NOT TOUCH THIS FUCKING MACHINE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. NOT EVEN YOU RADEK! GET OUT, NOW!"
Well shit. John exchanges a worried glance with Zelenka, who checks something quickly on the laptop.
"This message was created at one pm yesterday," he says.
"Maybe we should go," Carson says, looking a little spooked, before pushing one of the coffee mugs towards John. Frowning, John sees that it's half full and that - coffee Rodney didn't take time to drink - is probably a sign of the apocalypse.
"Okay, yes, everybody out and let's seal this lab until we know more," John says, eying the Ancient device that has various lights randomly lighting up on it. It's been activated, probably by Rodney, and all the signs suggest it was not a good idea. Zelenka unhooks cables from the laptop, which makes John frown. "He said not to touch the machine."
"But nothing about the computer. If I want to know what is going on, I need to be able to search something," Zelenka replies. John lets him grab the laptop before ushering him out.
The first thing Zelenka does is to pull out the crystals of the door mechanism, and then puts them in his pocket so no one can open the door anymore.
"I want to know what the hell is going on," John demands, almost vibrating with the need for something to happen, a new lead, anything. They're almost as much in the dark than before they found this lab. In fact it's even worse: not only is Rodney missing, but he's gone after discovering something potentially dangerous.
"Oh, me too," Radek says, his mouth a thin line. "I will search this computer and get back to you."
***
The idea to go ask Atlantis itself where Rodney is only comes to John half an hour later, after it's been announced on loudspeaker that anyone having seen Dr. Rodney McKay after 1300 the previous day needs to report to Major Lorne. John makes his way to the chair room and sits down. Sensing the incredible rush of Atlantis connecting to every single one of his nerve endings never gets old. It's a feeling that is incredibly strong, where he feels like he's a cog in the machine, but it's not perfect and John has learned that Atlantis won't hand him what he wants to know on a silver platter. To communicate with the city and expect feedback, he needs to concentrate to illustrate - if possible - his questions in visual concepts.
Every member of the expedition is set with sub-cutaneous transmitters, so that's the first thing John asks for, stressing he wants to locate Rodney's frequency. There's no signal. John takes a breath, forcing it not to be shaky, and then calls the general map of the city and the illustration of each and every life sign it contains, which is a pretty basic operation. The problem with this is that they are not personalized, making it almost impossible to know which dot is who. John mentally labels the dot in the chair room at his name. He then asks for video feed from the gate room, and subsequently identifies each dot over there with a name.
John knows that Atlantis keeps track of everyone inhabiting her, so once he's started and done half a dozen people, he nudges her so she does the rest. It's almost instantaneous, little names appearing beside dots all over. John praises her, and he can almost feel a vibration of content. This feature could be useful on so many levels, although the potential for breach of privacy is also very high. John decides to keep the new and improved life sign identification to himself, at least for the moment.
Once every dot is identified, it's easy enough to ask to see Rodney's. Unfortunately, the screen goes blank. Frowning, John asks for Zelenka and a dot immediately appears in the labs. John nudges Atlantis again, "where's Rodney?"
Nothing lights up. John starts to feel queasy, because that's terrible news. Rodney got out of a lab where there was something dangerous, and now there's no life sign at his name?
"Colonel Sheppard, come in." It's Lorne.
"Any news?" he asks, hoping that they haven't found a body. Shit.
"Dr. McKay left with a gate team for YY7-636 yesterday at 1345."
"What?" John says, coming to a full stop, blinking. There's no life sign because Rodney stepped out of the city. Could it be that easy? "Why didn't anyone say something?"
He had no idea that Rodney had a mission scheduled on another planet, in fact, he was pretty sure that he had NONE. Rodney had been very clear that his time would be better spent on Atlantis, finally looking into the million and one projects that needed his attention, than to go dig trenches on the mainland.
"No one thought to ask the gate technicians. SGA-4 is scheduled to check in on the hour, Sir. So far, every check up has been done and the mission is going as planned."
Getting up from the chair, John starts walking towards the gate room. He's gonna be there for that check in, that's for sure.
"And what is the mission, exactly?" John can't quite remember what YY7-636 stands for, although he's pretty sure he'd know if it's a technological advanced civilization.
"Well..." at the hesitation, John knows something is wrong. "Grain negotiation, Sir."
John's jaw falls open and his stomach does a weird twist. Definitely something fishy, here, he doesn't like it at all.
The young guy who's with Lorne near the communication unit when John arrives in the gate room looks nervous, twisting the hem of his shirt. Another newbie, and he almost shrinks in on himself when he spots John advancing towards him. Summoning a calm he's not feeling at all, John even tries to smile while saluting Lorne and gesturing him to be at ease.
"Hi there, what's your name?" he asks the kid.
"Matt Forsberg, Colonel." Minutely, the guy relaxes. John has the impression he thought he'd be yelled at.
"Tell me everything you know."
"As I told Major Lorne, Dr. McKay was with SGA-4 when we opened the wormhole for YY7-636. He went through with them at 1345," Forsberg says.
"That didn't seem unusual to you?" John tries to make the question as mellow as he can.
This time Forsberg blushes.
"Uh, no. His name was on the schedule, with SGA-4, and they didn't say anything unusual. McKay was only urging that we just open the gate already, but that's..." he shrugs, looking apologetic.
Yeah, pretty much par for the course for McKay. But something ain't right.
"You say his name was on the schedule?" John asks.
Forsberg nods, and calls a listing on the computer. It indeed has Rodney's name set to get out with SGA-4, for fucking grain negotiation. John taps the screen with his finger.
"I want to know who put his name there and when, go through the log-ins," John says.
Forsberg nods, already starting to type commands to pull the data.
Sighing, John straightens up.
"SGA-4 is supposed to check in soon?" he asks Lorne, who looks as puzzled as John feels.
"Yes, in eighteen minutes or so."
Nothing much to do until they do.
"Find out everything we have on YY7-636, I want to know why McKay had a sudden urge to go off world when he was not forced to do so."
"Yes, Sir," Lorne says, before walking a couple of steps away and tapping his radio to give instructions.
"Huh," Forsberg says, staring at this screen. He sounds surprised.
"Whaddaya got?" John asks.
"Dr. McKay's name was added to the expedition rooster at 1320."
Twenty-five minutes before departure, definitely not usual procedure. John asks the question even if he's pretty sure he knows the answer.
"Who added it?"
Forsberg looks up at John with his pale blue eyes, knowing that the answer won't give any more clues.
"Dr. McKay did it himself."
***
The next fifteen minutes seem to take forever. John's pacing the gallery thinking of all the ways he's gonna give Rodney hell for going off like that without telling anyone when the chevrons finally start moving for an incoming wormhole. When the puddle has stabilized, Forsberg speaks up.
"It's Sergeant Smith's IDC, Sir."
SGA-4, checking in on time. At least that's a relief.
"Hey Sergeant, how's your mission going?" John asks.
"Colonel Sheppard? Huh...'" after a moment of hesitation, Smith's voice firms and he continues. "Fine Sir, everything is going fine. Just checking in on schedule, and we should have wrapped this mission as planned for a return to base tonight."
Smith doesn't seem to be talking under menace, because he didn't use any of the code conversation that has been set up for this kind of situation. Changing his angle, John asks what he really wants to know.
"That's great. Is Doctor McKay in range of communication?"
"Dr. McKay?" Smith says.
As if he's never heard of the guy.
"Talks a mile a minute, self proclaimed genius... he's pretty hard to miss. Is Dr. Rodney McKay with you or not?" John finds it very hard by that point to not yell in his radio.
"But Dr. McKay went back to Atlantis!" Smith replies and John twirls to frown at Forsberg, who looks completely surprised.
"Details, Sergeant," John says, curt.
"He came here with us, something he needed at the market. He bought it as we were going across the fair to the negotiating tents, and then announced to Major Kersey that he was going back to Atlantis," Smith explains.
"And that's it? You let him go back to the gate on his own?" John says.
Shit, Rodney could have been kidnapped on the way there, especially through a market with traders from many worlds, and who knew, maybe Genii spies too. Rodney is getting way too coveted across Pegasus.
"No, Sir, I went back to the gate with him. It annoyed him, but we have orders, no civilians wandering on their own off world, especially not Dr. McKay. At the gate, he punched the address on the DHD, gave his IDC, and went through the puddle. We then proceeded with the mission as planned."
Forsberg is shaking his head, frowning and probably checking the gate activity.
"At what time did Dr. McKay supposedly gate back?" Forsberg asks.
"It was pretty much 1430 on the dot. Why, he didn't make it back?" Smith asks.
Forsberg looks up at John and shakes his head no. Shit. John closes his eyes for a second, hoping they're not as screwed as he thinks they are.
"No, he did not. Sergeant, I want you and SGA-4 to come back to Atlantis right now for debrief," John says.
"Yes Sir, we're almost done..." Smith says.
"I said NOW!" John barks and sees in his peripheral vision that all military personnel around him jumped to attention, spine straight.
"Sir, yes Sir!" Sergeant Smith says. "I'll go get the rest of my team right now, Smith out."
John realizes he's clenching his jaw so hard that he's in danger of busting a tooth.
"All command staff are needed in the conference room as well as Dr Zelenka, Dex, Emmagan and Major Lorne. Sheppard out," John says quickly in his radio, and then turns to Forsberg. "You too, and bring the data from yesterday."
Someone better have an answer for him soon, or some heads are going to roll.
***
Part 2