Title: Trigger
Series: Reborn
Author: nutmeg610
Rating: PG
Summary: A simple grocery trip turns out much differently than Jayne intended. Takes place after Socks.
Notes: This series deals with River and Jayne living by themselves off the ship. So I guess you could call that AU if you want. If you don't like that sort of thing, feel free to skip on by. :)
Round Up Post
"You got a list?" Jayne asked as he and River entered town. She waved a scrap of paper at him on which was written their grocery list. Jayne snatched it out of her hand. "Gimme that. Gives me sumthin' ta do besides standin' 'round like a gorram fool."
River sighed. "I've told you that I can go grocery shopping by myself."
Jayne shot her a shot before looking over the list. "Not a chance. Knowin' you, you'll come back with all kinds 'a useless... crazy girl food... 'er sumthin'."
River chose to ignore his comment as Jayne starting leading them towards Murray's General Store. But as they got closer, River grabbed his elbow to stop him.
"Wait."
"Huh? What now?"
"Anita's place is closed for repairs. We have to go to the big store."
Jayne looked up at the store in front of them. Sure enough, there was a sign on the door that read, Closed for Repairs. Will Reopen, Monday the 16th. Sorry for any Inconvenience. From inside, he could hear the thumping of hammers.
"Gorramit." he muttered under his breath. He started heading towards the other general store in town, River struggling to keep up with his long strides. "Bet their prices are twice what they are at Murray's."
River shrugged in response because she really had no idea; she had never shopped anywhere but the Murray's store.
Pushing open the front door, Jayne had to let out a whistle. It was definitely a fancier place. There were holographic windows, more refrigerated food, and even vid screens in the corners, broadcasting the 'verse's latest news. There were also more people shopping there than on any given day at Murray's. But as Jayne picked up a jar, he snorted at the price.
"Can't believe people pay this much fer a jar 'a yu ben de go se."
"I suppose we won't be able to afford everything on the list then." River said, picking up a basket from the stack set up at the end of the aisle.
Jayne shrugged. "Don't matter much, as long as we git some meat."
"Then let's start in the back, and work our way to the registers in front." River suggested, taking off without him. With a pained sigh, Jayne followed, trying his best to look like a prisoner instead of a man who was willingly out grocery shopping.
When they reached the back of the store, River gestured at the meat. "Pick what you'd like." She moved aside and began examining the carbonated beverages behind a glass door. Above it was one of the vid screens. A news anchor was going through the day's stocks, as if anyone on a Border moon would care about the stock market.
Jayne was going through the meat, trying to pick what he wanted, when the news anchor said, "We'll be back with more of today's news, after a word from our sponsors." The sounds of some harp-like instrument came to Jayne's ears, as he finally picked what he wanted.
"How 'bout some--" he was cut off by the sound of River dropping the basket onto the ground. He had just looked over at her when the first words of the commercial's jingle played.
Fruity, Oaty Bars...
River's eyes were glazed over as she stared up at the screen, her lips parted slightly. Jayne's brain, which tended to slowly process things, snapped into high gear as he dropped the meat back into the fridge unit and grabbed River around the waist, pulling her against him and tucking her face into his chest. He stood rigid for a moment as the song continued.
Make a man out of a mouse,
Make you bust out of your blouse,
He took a deep breath and patted River on the back. "Ya ok, girl?"
When she didn't answer, Jayne switched to rubbing circles on her back instead.
Eat them now, Bang! Ping! Zow!
Try Fruity, Oaty Bars.
Jayne glanced over his shoulder as the commercial ended and went back to the news. He pulled back and looked down at the frail, yet potentially deadly creature standing in front of him. Her eyes were still lifted up, not focusing on anything, not even when he waved his hand in front of her.
"Ruttin' hell!" Jayne hissed, looking around quickly to see if anyone was watching. Seeing that the coast was clear, Jayne bent down slightly and snapped his fingers in front of her eyes. "C'mon, River, snap outta it." He hesitated, then gently rapped his knuckles against her forehead. "Ya still in there?" Her failure to respond was causing Jayne's heart to pound furiously. "Huh. Not even gonna try ta break my wrist fer that? Ain't gonna hit me at all, 'er go crazy, tearin' the place apart?"
She blinked, very slowly, as if it was labored, but made no other response. Jayne straightened up and rubbed his fingers across his forehead. He had to figure out a way to bring her back, but he couldn't do it in a busy general store. He slowly wrapped an arm around her back, and bent down to wrap the other under her knees, lifting her up into his arms. She went without complaint, sagging into his embrace like a rag doll.
Jayne decided to take her outside the back way, otherwise she'd attract too much attention. He walked swiftly down the aisles, spotting a kid stocking the shelves.
"Hey, you!" Jayne barked, causing the boy to jump and drop a can.
"Y-Yessir?"
"Ya got a back exit ta this place?"
The boy shifted his nervous gaze to River, and nodded, pointing to his right. With a grunt, Jayne hefted River up higher in his arms and took off without so much as a 'thank you.'
He easily found the door, luckily a push open one, and shoved his shoulder against it, walking out into the alley behind the store. Seeing several wooden crates littering the alley, Jayne sat River down on one and placed a hand on her shoulder to keep her from falling over, getting down on his haunches in front of her.
"Now, girl, yer gonna snap outta it before Jayne gits real mad, dong ma?" He gave her shoulder a shake but she stared straight ahead, unresponsive.
Jayne knew that getting mad wasn't going to solve anything, but it was better than doing nothing. Besides, his anger at the no-good goa cao de hun dan that had warped her mind was making him want to crush something with his bare hands, preferably their heads, but as they weren't there, he settled for smashing his fist through a nearby crate instead. He quickly looked at River for a reaction, but she didn't even flinch.
"C'mon, girl, don't leave me now." he said softly. She didn't move, didn't blink. She was as still as a statue, and Jayne's heart sunk.
He remembered when he was just a boy, and his grandmother had died suddenly. His Grandpap wouldn't eat, wouldn't talk to anyone; he would just sit in his chair and stare straight ahead. Jayne's ma, who was always a whiz with words, had said he was catatonic. He wasn't sure if she was right about that, but it seemed a good word to apply to his girl.
Guessing he would have to just carry her home, Jayne touched her cheek softly. "C'mon, Moonbeam, time ta go home." He stood up and bent to scoop her up again, when River's parted lips closed, then reopened.
"Moonbeam..." she murmured, barely audible. Jayne froze, then placed his hand back on her shoulder.
"Yeah, Moonbeam, that's you."
"Moonbeam..." she repeated, then started blinking rapidly, as if clearing the fog from her eyes. "She was interrupted."
"Huh?" Jayne asked, sinking down on his haunches again.
"She was interrupted before she completely saw her mission. She must know her mission." Her eyes moved down to meet Jayne's, and she suddenly gripped his arm. "Give me a mission."
Jayne's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What? Why?"
"She needs a mission." River repeated, her voise rising. "The weapons are generally given missions complementary to their construction and training. But not always. They must obey their handlers every order. She was not created for nothing. This weapon needs a mission."
Jayne wasn't about to tell her that her words were scaring the pants off him, so he opted to grab her by the shoulders and give her a shake. "Ya ain't a gorram weapon, girl! Stop it now!"
The jolt sent twin tears rolling down River's cheeks. "She needs to be useful. Give her a mission; it's what she was created for. Without a mission, the weapon is useless, and will self-destruct."
Jayne watched her, his mouth falling open. He would probably never know all that was done to her at that place, but he didn't realize that she had been trained to think of herself as a weapon. As an object that had to be useful.
Wiping her eyes, River looked down at the wetness coating her shaking fingertips. "She is leaking." she said with bewilderment. "She is self-destructing. She demands a mission."
Sucking in a deep breath, Jayne nodded. "I give you a mission, you gotta do it, right? Whatever it is."
River nodded. "Affirmative. Missions may be broadcast in binary code or orally in either English or Mandarin."
"Ok, then listen up. Here's yer mission." Jayne held tightly onto her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "I want you to stand up, hold my hand, an' walk with me all the way home. Then I want you to go up to our room, an' go to sleep. When you wake up, I want you to know that yer River Tam, the girl, not a weapon, dong ma?"
River nodded silently and braced her hands against the box to stand. Jayne let go and stood next to her, holding his hand out. River took it without hesitation, murmuring, "This weapon will not fail in her mission."
A shudder worked it's way up Jayne's spine, but he did his best to suppress it, moving forward to walk. Unlike last time, River kept up with his long strides as they walked through town and back home.
In was early afternoon when they returned, and when Jayne unlocked the door, River immediately released his hand and walked through the living room and up the stairs. Jayne followed to make sure she went up to their bed. She did, having tucked herself under the covers, and Jayne wondered if she could make herself fall immediately asleep like her brother had. It would have been awfully handy, if Jayne had remembered the phrase that could do it, but then he realized he had never actually heard the whole thing, so it didn't matter anyways.
Coming over to his side of the bed, Jayne eased himself onto the mattress and took his boots off. Then he turned and lay down beside her, stretching one arm above her pillow, and the other across her waist. Even though they cared for each other, they hadn't taken that step into intimacy yet; they simply slept in the same bed, which River prefered, since he kept her nightmares away.
Jayne silently watched her, hoping that when she woke up, she was her old self again; and since she was asleep, Jayne had plenty to think over. Like how men could take a young girl, cut open her brain, rearrange things to make her more useful to them, and not bother trying to fix the broken bits they left behind. They trained her to kill, to be their weapon. Then they put a bunch of subliminal go se in her head that could make her fall asleep on command, make her kill everyone in sight, whatever they wanted. Why? Why would anyone do that to a smart girl like her? Just because she had a gift, Jayne figured. Just because she could see the truth of things.
Jayne pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder and closed his eyes, trying to catch forty winks himself.
About an hour later, he slowly awoke from the feeling of River lightly running her fingertips up and down the arm that held her.
"Jayne?" she whispered.
"Yup." he answered, cracking open an eye.
River pulled back slightly, so Jayne would release her. When he did she sat up. "Jayne... was I bad?" she asked meekly, looking at her hands.
Jayne breathed a sigh of relief at her use of the first person, then shook his head, moving to sit up next to her. "Nah, weren't bad at all. Jus' got a bit addlepated back there."
"I don't remember." she said, wringing her hands.
"Don't gotta remember." Jayne answered, looking her over carefully. "Nuthin' happened."
Glancing up worriedly, she asked in a hushed voice, "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
Jayne gave a small smile and shifted on the bed a bit, so he could face her more. "Nope."
River breathed a sigh of relief as her eyes darted everywhere but him. She waited a beat before asking, "The trigger was in a commercial, wasn't it?"
"Yup." he answered, noted the look of anguish that came to her face. "Hey," he added, placing his hand on top of hers, "don't think on it. What's done is done. Ya just gotta stay away from vid screens 's'all."
River gave a short nod, looking down at their hands. It gave her an excited flutter in her stomach, to see his large hand covering both of hers. He could cover her completely; keep her safe.
"It was very naive of me to believe that the subliminal messages would cease after Miranda." she said finally, sliding one hand out from under his to place on top, sandwiching his hand between hers. "They will never stop looking. I am a precious commodity. Worth a great deal to bad people."
"Yeah, well, them bad types ain't gonna git ya back." Jayne replied without a second thought.
River smiled, touched by his concern. "Never ever? Promise?"
"Times infinity." Jayne assured.
Leaning towards him, River wrapped her arms around the big man, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You need your Moonbeam." she teased.
"Yeah, well, it'd be a damn sight harder ta take care 'a myself, now that I'm used ta havin' you 'round." he answered, enveloping her in his arms.
River giggled and pressed her face into his shoulder. The muffled words, "You love me," reached his ears, and he was sure his heart stopped beating. She turned her face so she could speak clearer, saying, "I know. I hear what's inside. You don't have to say it aloud now, but it would be nice to hear the words out loud from time to time."
He swallowed heavily. In a way, it was a relief for her to know without him speaking the words. He'd always had a hard time talking about his emotions, though with River he was slowly changing all that.
River rubbed her face against his shoulder happily. "Jayne?"
"Hmm?" he mumbled, rubbing her back gently.
"I love you too. Very much."
He couldn't help but grin widely at that. The only woman to say those words to him before were his mother, and that was a given. She was his mother; she had to love him. A woman falling in love with him of her own free will? Now that was something amazing.
River could easily glean the joy emitting from his mind into hers. Giggling, she pressed her nose against the collar of his shirt to inhale his comforting scent, knowing she was safe, and always would be.
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