Happenstance
Title: Happenstance
Rating: M
A/N: This is something random, two-parts and already done. I haven't written much and decided to just lurk around here and there. I'm sorry I haven't updated BEY in ages, but I promise you, I'm working on it. I didn't want to post the chapters I've written on it until I've completely finished the whole thing. But as I've said, I'm working on it. I am hoping for your kind consideration.
This is beta-virgin. Please be kind.
Please let me know what you think.
"So it's true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love."
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
1.
"Mom, what's going on with you and Andy? Why is she leaving?" Caroline was obviously fuming. Miranda was well aware of the fact when her youngest daughter just barged in to her study.
Miranda took off her reading glasses, and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Nothing's going on, Caroline. And please pick up the manners you forgot when you entered the study without even knocking."
This made Caroline angrier, if that's even possible. "What do you mean nothing's going on? Yes. There. Is. Andy has just packed her things while you're busy reading god-knows-what here in your ever sacred study. What the hell is happening?!" Miranda could hear the desperation in Caroline's voice and her heart breaks even more, if that's even possible.
Cassidy entered the room when she heard her sister's voice rising.
Miranda had no choice but to deny the sad reality that she and Andrea were finally considering getting a divorce. Well, technically, it's only her who's considering divorce. Andrea was still pretty certain and willing to work things out, seeking her forgiveness.
Miranda knows how much her children love Andrea, so she has decided that she will not tell them the ugly truth. Not now anyway. Maybe in a few years. Or maybe not ever. She didn't want to destroy the image Andrea has with her children. The ever loving, caring and much more fun step-mother for her girls. Miranda has decided to protect Andrea from her children's wrath should they find out the truth. She thought this was better knowing it won't matter so much since her children are used to being disappointed by her.
"Caroline, please. Can we not discuss this now? My migraine's getting worse by the minute."
"What did you do? What did you do to Andy to drive her away? Mom, she's crying while packing her bags and you're sitting here doing nothing! What the hell?!"
"Caro.." Cassidy took hold of her sister's arm as she tried to stop her sister's irate outburst.
Caroline just shrugged her sister's touch as she approached her mother. "What?! You won't do anything about it? You'll just let her walk away? Just like that?! You'll give up half a fucking decade just like that?!"
"Caroline! I will not be cur-"
"Oh, fuck it! What the fuck did you do to Andy to drive her away? You must have done something to drive her away and leave us! You always drive away the people who love you! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
Miranda was too shocked to respond, and she didn't need to as Caroline ran away from the room and slammed the door shut. Miranda stood there motionless; her hands covered her agape mouth, as tears freely flowed on her porcelain cheeks. She couldn't believe Caroline was that upset to say those words, let alone shout at her. She wondered how long she can keep up the façade she's used. Will she really let her children hate her so much for the sake of protecting Andrea? Andrea who has professed undying love for her but eventually broke her promise and vow of loyalty. Andrea who she still loves dearly, with all her heart, at least what's left of it, since the former broke it to a million pieces when she admitted her wrong doing. Caroline was clearly more upset about the situation since everyone knows she's so much closer to her 'Andy'. Miranda couldn't help the sob that escaped her body.
Cassidy was staring at her mother, for the first time ever, she saw her mother cry. The woman who was mostly referred to as an 'Ice Queen'. Where's that icy image when her mother needs it most? She has always wondered what she'd feel should a day like this come. Now she knows and she doesn't like it one bit.
She decided to break the 'sisters code of conduct' and approached her mother. She couldn't help but cry with her mother as she hugged her tightly. Yes, Cassidy's also upset with what's happening seeing as their family's getting broken again. However, this will not stop her from hugging her mother who looked as if she's just holding on to not pass out from crying so much. This was awful. Everything seemed wrong. This was much worse when her dad and her mom broke up. Not that she remembers much of it. This was even worse than the time her grandpa died. She only saw her mother's red rimmed eyes but didn't really witness her crying.
As far as Caroline was concern, this was all Miranda's fault. It's a proven and tested fact that her mother was not the best person on earth when it comes to dealing with people and relationships except with them, she supposed. But that fact shouldn't be counted since they're her kids. When it comes to relationships, early on she thought, it was the men's fault. Her dad cheated on Miranda so they divorced. Stephen was a drunkard and was verbally abusive, so they divorced. All the men in between were either too self-absorbed or too absorbed to the idea that they will be able to change Miranda. Make her love her work less, and love them much more. And so nothing worked. The longest relationship Miranda had was with their father which lasted 7 years-2 years of living together, 5 years of marriage. Caroline really thought and already held on to the idea that Andy and Miranda will last forever. Well, not really forever, but that at least they would grow old together. They were blissfully in love until they weren't. Whatever caused it was still a huge mystery to her and her sister. All she remembered was that a couple of weeks, or maybe three weeks ago, her mom and Andy had a fight. Andy left and she's not sure if Andy returned that night or slept at Doug's or what. But that started it. Andy came back; she and Miranda spoke in her mother's study and she remembered Andy came out of the room crying. She peeked through her door when she heard muffled voices getting louder, and right on cue, when she cracked her door open, Andy was crying her heart out and seemed like she lost everything.
Yes, her mother did something that made Andy so upset. It's her mother fault. She drove everyone away.
After she witnessed Andy's tearful exit, her heart broke a little, but that time, she still had faith that her mom and Andy will be able to fix it, whatever it was they fought about. But the days leading to today only got worse. Andy no longer comes home. Her mother was back to her stoic and almost catatonic image. They never shared a single meal together since. Her mother came home late from work again looking ten years older as the days go by. Everything felt wrong. And today, Andy finally decided to pack her belongings and leave.
Caroline tried to stop her. She tried her best but it didn't work. Nothing worked.
She hugged Andy from behind as she cried and whispered, "Andy, don't leave us please.."
"I'm so sorry sweetheart. I can't stay. I'm so sorry.." Andy's tears were constantly bathing her cheeks as she turned and hugged Caroline tightly.
"No…please…" Caroline pleaded as sobs wracked her small frame.
"Sweetheart, listen to me.. I love you and your sister so much. Nothing will change that, okay?"
"If you love us, why are you leaving? What about mom?!" Caroline disentangled herself out of Andy's embrace as her anger was slowly sipped in.
"I love her too. I love her so much but she no longer wants to see me..I'm sorry."
Caroline just stood and stared at Andy, seeing how broken her Andy was, and she couldn't help but curse her mother.
Yes. It was Miranda's fault. Their mother, the evil witch who couldn't seem to sustain a decent relationship, if only for the sake of her kids.
*************
Miranda has changed a lot. If you'd have seen her some years ago, during her first marriage, and seen her now, you would honest to goodness think that she's someone else. The old Miranda was a slave to her work. Yes, she has allotted time for her kids, but mostly, it felt like a task. Like it's just part of being a mother, and it almost didn't feel like she was doing it out of love. Not true, of course. Although if you compare it to who Miranda became when Andy entered her and her kids lives, the difference was almost too drastic, 'it will make your head spin' they'd say, on a good note that is.
She became a much more loving mother and a better wife. Andrea seemed to bring out all the best in her. She was spending less time at Runway, yet the issues they'd produced were among the best ones and won numerous awards. Fate really was a tease. It seemed like the good days were just the calm before the major storm that rocked Miranda's whole being. She didn't know where to start; nobody died, but her heart.
They had planned the 3-day vacation months ago, and really, you couldn't blame Miranda if she felt the need to remind Andy 3 days prior.
Andy's no longer working for The Mirror and has found a better position and pay in Times. She was born for the job and instantly became the best at what she does. Hence, she's now the workaholic one. She's finishing up on her latest assignment and some things weren't going as she hoped or planned them to be, ergo, her sunny disposition was thrown out of the window and the slightest poke to her mood drove her fume to the brink.
And this was when an unsuspecting Miranda reminded her of their upcoming vacation.
Bad move.
The simple conversation Miranda was hoping to be turned out to be their biggest argument. With Miranda telling Andy she's working too hard and no longer has time for her and the kids. With Andy telling Miranda of all people, she should understand Andy as she knows the pressure of the job. With Miranda telling Andy that they shouldn't have gotten married if Andy's career seemed much more important. With Andy agreeing to what Miranda said that yes, she shouldn't have proposed if she'd had known what a royal bitch Miranda really was. So a tearful Miranda slapped Andy, and Andy left the house.
Bad move.
Andy found herself in a bar, drinking her sorrow away, thinking what she could do to make Miranda feel how she feels. How upset she was that Miranda didn't seem to understand that she loves her, but she also loves her career. And with all the drinks Andy had, she found herself talking to a woman she doesn't even remember the name of, and they end up in bed and had sex in a god-forsaken motel where the nameless woman dragged Andy's majorly drunk ass to.
And the rest was history, as they say.
****************
Days have passed since Andy moved out of the house. Miranda has been nothing but a mess, well, on the inside that is. Outside, her façade hasn't changed a bit, still maintaining her 'Ice Queen' image. She wasn't bitchy at work. She wasn't demanding, well, she's always demanding, but she didn't take it up a notch, like she used to do. She didn't want people to know that her life was once again falling apart. People at work can pretty much tell it, previously, when something awful was happening to Miranda as she turn on her 'Dragon Lady' persona full blast. This time, Miranda didn't want anyone to know that she has failed again. And so she stayed calm and collected at work. Not even Nigel notice that something was awfully wrong and Miranda actually felt like she's dying.. a slow painful death.
Miranda has finally decided to consult Arthur, her ever loyal and trustworthy attorney, to draft the divorce papers she'll send to Andrea. It was quite a moment when the papers arrived at her office. She asked the new 'Emily' Elise to shut her office door after Elise deposited the envelope that contains the papers to Miranda's desk, with firm instructions from the latter that she's not to be disturbed for an hour. Miranda cried as she sign the divorce papers, and had to use both her hands stifle the sobs that's wrecking her whole body.
"There's something I need to tell you,"
Miranda started. Finally, after weeks of avoiding her kids at dinner, she decided it's time to face the music and let the kids know of her impending plan. She still hasn't decided to tell the kids what happened between her and Andrea. She will just let them know what her plan was, and to hell with their reactions. She's already in hell every day. And yes, she still loves Andrea very much so, but betrayal was something she's incapable of forgiving.
The girls remained quiet as Caroline played her food with her fork, acting like she didn't give a fuck on what her mother's going to say. After their humongous confrontation couple of weeks ago, Caroline had been avoiding her mother like a plague. Cassidy played the casual act, like what happened was something that she's used to, but failed miserably as her usual spark was obviously gone.
"I'm going to file for divorce," Miranda said quietly.
"Great. I'm so fucking happy for you, mother." Caroline said, every word laced with sarcasm and anger, then stood up and left.
Miranda rest her case and stayed quiet, staring at her plate, wishing the floor would just swallow her. It's really something when your kids hate you. Even more when they're hurting and you know that it's your own fault and really, there's nothing you can do to change it. If only she has a time machine, she'd gladly go back to that day when she reminded Andrea of their impending trip, and not remind her this time, just let her wife be.
Cassidy felt like she's been punched. She stayed quiet, dropped her fork and cried silently. She hastily wiped her cheek, "I hope you're not making a mistake, mom." She said through her tears as she looked at her mother.
Miranda wasn't crying. She just sat there and stared at her plate, like she didn't hear a thing.
"Can you please be honest with me? What happened, mom? You have to tell us at some point what happened between you and Andy. At lease you owe us that much." Cassidy said as her tears constantly bathe her cheeks.
Miranda finally looked up and saw the tears of her daughter Cassidy and her heart broke again at the sight. Tears instantly formed in her eyes, she stood up and hugged her daughter tightly, "I'm really sorry, bobbsey. Your mom is a failure and I disappointed you again. I'm really sorry.."
Cassidy sobbed and held on to her mother as if her life depended on the tight embrace they're sharing. "Mommy please, tell me.."
"No, sweetheart. I can't. I'm sorry. You can ask Andrea if you want, if she'll tell you.. I don't want you to hear it from me."
Miranda really didn't think she can tell her kids what happened between her and Andrea. She didn't want to be the one to destroy Andrea's image on her kids. But mostly, she's afraid her kids won't believe her and instead think that she's lying and trying to put the blame on Andrea.
*****************
Miranda has a goal and that is to see Andrea for the last time and serve her the divorce papers personally. She called Doug and found out where Andrea had been staying. Doug must have known the truth and what happened as he seemed extremely reserved and was almost shy when he spoke with Miranda.
Miranda decided to stay late at the office and head directly to Andrea's apartment to give her the divorce papers and ask her to sign it immediately.
Miranda reached the front door of Andrea's apartment and stood outside motionless for what seemed like ages. She stared at the door trying to gather enough courage and strength to finish her task. She slowly lifted her arm and knocked lightly.
Andrea was drinking wine and willing the time to pass doing nothing. Her television was on but she wasn't interested in watching whatever was on. She just needed the buzzing sound it produces for company. God, she has never felt more alone. She didn't realize that her tears had been flowing freely from her eyes. That was when she heard the knock on her door.
She really didn't want to answer the door as she wasn't expecting anyone, but, what the hell. She could use the company. So, she dragged herself up from the sofa and opened the door.
Miranda was a bit taken aback when the door suddenly opened. She was actually hoping that Andrea wasn't home. She looked at the younger woman and her heart broke at what she saw. Andrea was obviously a mess. But this was her fault, Miranda thought. She should really be a mess. At least she has the right be a mess. Miranda didn't. So many things were dependent on Miranda and her sanity. She has no right to dwell so much on her pain and loneliness.
Andrea was absolutely shocked and thought her mind was playing tricks on her. Miranda was stood outside her door and looking as classy and composed as ever. What ever was she doing here? Maybe she has decided to forgive Andrea and will ask her to come back home.
"Can I come in?" Miranda started, albeit coldly.
"Oh, of course. Sorry. I.. I was just not expecting you." Andrea stuttered.
"Sorry. I won't be long. I just wanted to personally give you this." Miranda said. She stepped inside Andrea's place but was obviously not planning on seating down. Andrea closed the door behind her as she hastily wiped her tears. Miranda handed Andrea the short brown envelope.
Andrea peaked at the envelope's content and immediately realized what it was. To say that her world suddenly stopped was an understatement. She wanted to faint. She wanted to die. Miranda was divorcing her. So much for her hopes of Miranda asking her to come back home.
"You.. you want a divorce?"
"What else does it look like?"
"But.. Mira.. Can we at least work this out? I mean.. I know.." Andrea stated, somewhat still composed though her tears were flowing freely on her cheeks.
"Andrea.. We can't work this out. You betrayed me. I can't accept that. I won't accept that." Miranda stated through gritted teeth. Miranda was holding onto a very thin thread, keeping her from crying and sobbing her heart out.
"I know that and I admit that what I did was wrong.. but.. couldn't you at least give me one more chance? Don't you think our love can surpass this?!" Andrea said almost desperately as she moved closer towards Miranda.
Miranda stepped back, "No. Don't say that you love me. You called me a royal bitch then slept with some random woman to purposely hurt me. I don't think you've a clue of what love really is. You broke my heart, Andy.. Please.. Just let me go." Miranda said as her voice cracked. She couldn't hold off her tears any longer. She covered her mouth to stifle a sob.
Andrea closed the gap between them and hugged Miranda fiercely. "No.. I'm so sorry. It was not my intension. Mira.. please.." Andrea was getting desperate as she sobbed and cried and kissed Miranda's temple. Miranda was crying her heart out as well and was trying her might to get away from Andy's hug, but she was not physically and emotionally strong enough.
"Miranda, please… Give me one more chance. Please." Andrea said a she cupped Miranda's face with her hands. Miranda closed her eyes and willed her tears to stop but she just couldn't. "I love you so much, Miranda. I'm so sorry.. I'm so so sorry…Please.." Miranda's knees felt weak as she sobbed her heart out. Her relationship, her family's happiness, Andrea's happiness all depended on her at that moment. Should she give Andrea another chance? Maybe it really wasn't deliberate, what Andrea did. But at the back of her mind, she knew that one couldn't be that inebriated as to not have any control over her actions especially when it comes to having sex. She's thinking that Andrea knew what she was doing and knew that it was wrong and it would break Miranda but she still chose to continue and have sex with that woman to hurt Miranda. She let her emotion control over her, hence, the very awful consequence she had to face.
Miranda's knees gave out as she slowly slumped to the floor while crying. Andrea was still holding her and kissing her where ever she could manage."Please.. Please Miranda… Just one more chance."
TBC