Things Are Getting Out Of Hand
There are a number of things I've said that I don't understand about Oklahoma and Oklahoma City.
1. Why is the airport in OKC named after someone who died in a plane crash (Will Rogers)?
2. Why can't Oklahomans pronounce words like "Miami" or "depot"?
3. Why do Oklahomans, born and bred, live in "a world of their state" so much so that they think everyone else in the country gives as much a care of events that transpire here as they do?
And, the big question:
4. Why do Oklahomans make such a big deal about their stupid college sports?
The reason I make the last one the Big Question, is that a recent event in an away game for the OU Sooners has come under intense scrutiny, leading to the suspensions of referees.
I'm not going to say whether what happened to the Sooners was deserved or not. I don't care. I've seen the footage, though, which is more than I can claim for some Oklahomans. I at least heard the play live on the radio.
But, it seems like any time someone does something to upset Oklahoma's civic/state pride, Oklahomans seem to come out of the woodwork to seethe in anger and rile at the person or persons responsible.
When Charles Barkley said that Oklahoma was a "wasteland" and "wouldn't accept him because he was black," it was on the news for weeks. Now, people have sent death threats to the official of the Oregon vs. OU game this past weekend.
I think these are the same kinds of adults who make it not safe to play little league baseball any more. GROW. THE FUCK. UP.
Now, if having the Sooners win or overturning the result in any way might have led to the cure for cancer or AIDS or something, or perhaps the invention of a perpetual motion machine to give us all free power for the rest of eternity -- then I might understand death threats. But, seriously. You're making anonymous death threats ... on a referee ... from Oregon ... on the call for a single game ... just because it makes your record look bad?! Might as well mail harassing things to the descendants of Walter Camp, for crying out loud.
Dear @*%&ing descendants of Walter Camp,
I hate you because of the game you invented which created
stupid referees like the one in Oregon. You should tell the
world that the only reason you invented the sport was so that
it could be played in Oklahoma some day, by real players
on college teams, so that they can go on to play other Oklahoma
college teams in all the bowl games over the Christmas and New
Year's holidays. Our players are God's gift to man, and if you
don't understand that, then I'm afraid we have no common ground
on which to talk.
Furthermore, I am proud to announce that I won the largest
OU-shirted animal at the 100th State Fair this year. I cheated,
but then again, that's part of our state motto, so I'm justified.
Not like the stupid referee from Oregon. I hope he dies, and I
hope the rest of the world learns how to play your ancestor's
game right.
Sincerely,
Disgruntled OU Fan,
Norman, OK
See? I don't get it, either. I guess all Oklahoma does is comfort itself every night with a big bowl of Haagen-Dasz and watch Spanish soap operas while crying like little babies and reassuring each other via phone tree phone calls that "everything's going to be okay tomorrow." Bunch of whiny, emo babies.
[I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK TO ILLINOIS!]
1. Why is the airport in OKC named after someone who died in a plane crash (Will Rogers)?
2. Why can't Oklahomans pronounce words like "Miami" or "depot"?
3. Why do Oklahomans, born and bred, live in "a world of their state" so much so that they think everyone else in the country gives as much a care of events that transpire here as they do?
And, the big question:
4. Why do Oklahomans make such a big deal about their stupid college sports?
The reason I make the last one the Big Question, is that a recent event in an away game for the OU Sooners has come under intense scrutiny, leading to the suspensions of referees.
I'm not going to say whether what happened to the Sooners was deserved or not. I don't care. I've seen the footage, though, which is more than I can claim for some Oklahomans. I at least heard the play live on the radio.
But, it seems like any time someone does something to upset Oklahoma's civic/state pride, Oklahomans seem to come out of the woodwork to seethe in anger and rile at the person or persons responsible.
When Charles Barkley said that Oklahoma was a "wasteland" and "wouldn't accept him because he was black," it was on the news for weeks. Now, people have sent death threats to the official of the Oregon vs. OU game this past weekend.
I think these are the same kinds of adults who make it not safe to play little league baseball any more. GROW. THE FUCK. UP.
Now, if having the Sooners win or overturning the result in any way might have led to the cure for cancer or AIDS or something, or perhaps the invention of a perpetual motion machine to give us all free power for the rest of eternity -- then I might understand death threats. But, seriously. You're making anonymous death threats ... on a referee ... from Oregon ... on the call for a single game ... just because it makes your record look bad?! Might as well mail harassing things to the descendants of Walter Camp, for crying out loud.
Dear @*%&ing descendants of Walter Camp,
I hate you because of the game you invented which created
stupid referees like the one in Oregon. You should tell the
world that the only reason you invented the sport was so that
it could be played in Oklahoma some day, by real players
on college teams, so that they can go on to play other Oklahoma
college teams in all the bowl games over the Christmas and New
Year's holidays. Our players are God's gift to man, and if you
don't understand that, then I'm afraid we have no common ground
on which to talk.
Furthermore, I am proud to announce that I won the largest
OU-shirted animal at the 100th State Fair this year. I cheated,
but then again, that's part of our state motto, so I'm justified.
Not like the stupid referee from Oregon. I hope he dies, and I
hope the rest of the world learns how to play your ancestor's
game right.
Sincerely,
Disgruntled OU Fan,
Norman, OK
See? I don't get it, either. I guess all Oklahoma does is comfort itself every night with a big bowl of Haagen-Dasz and watch Spanish soap operas while crying like little babies and reassuring each other via phone tree phone calls that "everything's going to be okay tomorrow." Bunch of whiny, emo babies.
[I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK TO ILLINOIS!]