Comments | goggleboy03: [DNDR Thread] I just wanted to ask...

goggleboy03

[DNDR Thread] I just wanted to ask...

Jan 16, 2010 16:21

Matt really wasn't sure how much time had passed since he'd talked with Mello in the bar. It was hard to keep track of time in the mansion (and his DS clock skipping around at random didn't really help), but he'd guess at least a few days. Maybe a week? He normally didn't care so much, but he couldn't help but wonder how much had changed between ( Read more... )

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shinigami_is January 16 2010, 21:37:31 UTC

Misa had been sleeping. She'd had the dream again, but this time it was shorter - just a montage of images from her previous nightmares: her bloody hands, smeared fingerprints on clean white walls, then a river of innocent blood washing her away, pulling her under. Her mouth open and closing soundlessly, screaming for Light.

She awoke with a start, her skin slick with sweat, the same gravelly feeling in her throat as if she'd really been screaming, again. At least nobody had been around to hear it, this time. The room seemed to be completely empty. It gave her an odd, disoriented feeling to wake up without Matt or Light there. As if someone had hollowed out her chest.

What had woken her? She sat up in bed, looking around the dimly lit room in confusion. Then, the knock. She blinked, glancing over at the door. Would Mello knock? Probably not, even if it wasn't his room too ( ... )

shinigami_is January 17 2010, 08:05:16 UTC

"...and you don't think Matt can?" she suggests, curiously. It was something she'd been wondering about herself, on and off. Especially since Mello had appeared on the scene. The worry that one or both of them would tire of her sooner rather than later was constant, nagging at her almost as much as the fear that Light didn't care about her had.

And if anyone could tell her whether or not Matt was likely to lose interest, surely another Matt could?

goggleboy03 January 17 2010, 08:08:32 UTC

"I don't know. If he's like me, he'd be more than willing to take care of you. Just not lead." Matt was pretty sure he had still felt that way before everything changed. At least about leading how Misa seemed to have had it with Light.
"But I haven't really talked with him much."

shinigami_is January 17 2010, 08:22:47 UTC

She sighed heavily, running a hand through her tousled hair.

She was silent for a long while.

"I'm worried Matt and Mello will get sick of me." she admitted, finally, in a small voice. "I mean, they're so...wrapped up in each other. They have all this history, they're practically symbiotic, and you know, they actually hate the me in their world. I'm worried it won't be long before Matt realises he's made some sort of horrible mistake..."

She trailed off, weakly. She hadn't really meant to tell anyone about that, at all, but it had been weighing heavy on her mind ever since she and Matt had first had a conversation about Mello.

goggleboy03 January 17 2010, 08:30:03 UTC

Matt wasn't really sure what to say. It was true, a fair number of Matts and Mellos seemed to be together, or at least very close to each other. Matt had never been like that with his version of Mello, but they were still close.
And he hoped that a version of him wouldn't up and get tired of someone who depended on him.
"...I can't tell you what you want to hear. But I can't tell you what you don't want to hear either. I don't know either of them well enough. But if it lasted more than a night, I doubt he'll decide he made a mistake because of the version of you from his old world.
"I know I wouldn't, at least."

shinigami_is January 17 2010, 08:34:39 UTC

It was a small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless.

She half smiled, nodding more to herself than to him.

"I guess I just have to wait it out." she murmured, "I'm not used to this. With Light I...I knew that even if it wasn't real, we'd at least always have the lie. He wasn't going to leave me. Not entirely, anyway."

She looked up at Matt.

"Sometimes I wish I'd never come here. I think things were easier when I didn't have to think about them."

goggleboy03 January 17 2010, 08:37:51 UTC

Matt chuckled a bit. "I know. It always seems like things were easier before they changed. Or when it just happens no matter what you do."
He smiled at her. "I hope it works out well. If you need anything...I have a room on the eighth floor...Heh. If you think Mello needs some sense beaten into him and Matt won't do it, I'll try."

shinigami_is January 17 2010, 08:42:29 UTC

The mental image of this Matt beating the shit out of Mello amused her greatly, and she grinned broadly.

"Thanks. I do appreciate it. And...I'm sorry, for kind of assuming you were a jerk. It was nice of you to come and make sure I was alright."

She slipped off the bed, walking over to him.

"You should tell me, sometime. About why you know how it feels to need a leader."

goggleboy03 January 17 2010, 08:44:48 UTC

"I can be a jerk sometimes, I guess. I doubt I looked very good when we talked before." He'd been rather blunt then, hadn't he? Though he usually was with people.
Matt canted his head a bit. "...Because I need one myself. Back home I have one."

shinigami_is January 17 2010, 08:47:20 UTC

"Who?" she raised her eyebrows in curiosity. She assumed he meant his own Mello, but it was hard to say. All the alternates were different, after all.

goggleboy03 January 17 2010, 08:49:31 UTC

"Where I live...home is a lot like this place. Only the Room makes it obvious that its behind it. It talks to us, too. So the Room is..." He trailed off, shrugging a bit. Words never seemed to fully express things.

shinigami_is January 17 2010, 08:53:00 UTC

She didn't fully understand what he was trying to say, but she nodded anyway.

"...it...tells you what to do, kind of?" she asked, hoping she had the right idea. It seemed strange to her, but also, in some odd way, rather appealing. If she was honest with herself, she had to admit that she missed the structure. There was a beautiful simplicity in instruction, in carrying out orders. A blessed relief from the whirling chaos of independence.

goggleboy03 January 17 2010, 08:56:24 UTC

Matt nodded, smiling faintly. The thing he resembled more than anything was a dog, desiring (and possibly imagining) his master's attention and praise. "Yeah. I know how things work there and I know what I have to do. Its a lot easier."
He'd read a book on something similar once, but Matt didn't like to admit things were really the same as its diagnosis.

shinigami_is January 17 2010, 08:58:07 UTC

She understood completely.

"It is." she agreed, simply. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it." she thought of the nightmares, of the blood on her hands "...but I don't really know how to get it back and still be happy." I also don't know how to be happy without it.

goggleboy03 January 17 2010, 09:02:37 UTC

"..I don't know how I would either."
That wasn't entirely true. He'd beg, like he had before. But his master was a lot different than Light; a lot changed when you were looking to what seemed to be a higher power and another person.
"I used to be happy, though. Before it all changed. Maybe you can do it the other way around. Or maybe he'll be willing to give you some structure. I don't know." He didn't know a lot of things.

shinigami_is January 17 2010, 09:05:53 UTC

"I can't imagine Matt telling me what to do." she admitted, almost a little sadly. "I don't think he thinks it's right."

She let a silence lapse between them for a few moments.

"...maybe we could order each other around, sometime?" she grinned, amused by her own suggestion, and surprised to find she wasn't entirely joking.

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