{Voicemail} To Dewi - Sent Friday May 28th, 2010 at 11:34 A.M.

[godsavemy]

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{You have one unheard message. First unheard message:}

Dewi! You twat! Why aren't you answering your mobile!? Bloody useless you are. Well I'm in --static-- right now and guess who stole away in the ruddy cargo hold of the aeroplane?! That fuc --rustling, sounds of cars going by-- gel Bob, and no, I am not having

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[Voice Message to: Arthur}

[not_whales]

You have 1 unheard message:

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First unheard message. Sent Friday May 28th, 2010 at 6:48 am:

Arthur Henry Kirkland! Have you any idea what time it is over here?! If you're going to accuse me of not picking up the phone at six o'clock in the bloody morning, the least you could do is pick up when I bloody call you back! I am not engaging in this phone tag with you! Frankly, I think you deserve i-- duw, Chyfrgolla mae'n! [THUMP] ...ow.

[Long pause; distant slurring that one could assume to be curses.]

You can't just expect me to leap onto the next flight to England to retrieve a bloody statue, you scrut! I swear it: you'll be the one paying for my ticke' or you'll be hearin' from Mum. I'll be on a flight down come tonight. Better be picking me up at King's Cross, or may Angel Bob snap your sodding neck.