I got caught off guard today. Big time. I realized that Tuesday will be a year since my grandpa passed away. I said it in a sentence in a casual conversation about something totally irrelevant and found myself not able to speak. A lot of people aren't, or weren't, close with any of their grandparents. Such was not my case. This was not any of my ( Read more... )

iiiiiiiii have decided something. I don't fit in to anybody's life, really. I try really hard to fit in, to squeeze myself through the cracks. but i am not the "missing link" in any one person's life. I am not the other half of any great relationship or friendship. Every single person's life could go on with or without me, not skipping a beat. ( Read more... )

I can't give up. I have to start obsessing over food again, if I don't, I let up, and I feel like shit physically and mentally ( Read more... )

Someone once told me I am too forgiving ( Read more... )

I guess this is the ideal time for relapse ( Read more... )

I decided I really like to draw. It is like my bottled creativity. Whenever I had to do a project in high school I was never worried about how artistic it would look because I knew it would just come to me 5 seconds before or during it. I like drawing for someone too. I like to be critiqued, but really, I just like praise haha ( Read more... )

I am soooo over a lot of things. Last entry was sad this one is irritated ( Read more... )

 I'm in a weird mood.

Maybe it is the music I'm listening to, I don't know.

I realized the other day I have not cried since November 8th.

I don't really ever have a reason to cry. Movies don't count. I have never felt that emotion the way I felt on that day, minus the March of 2000. I dont know why I am feeling like this right now. It isn't ( Read more... )

 
I am feeling good. 
A few things are bothering me, but they involve other people that are no longer, [regrettably] in my life. 
But I am feeling good.

I have been to the gym almost every single day I have been here, and not including the days I was in Pittsburgh. I want results immediately. I am soo impatient. But finally I realized today in class ( Read more... )

 I am going to learn Daylight by Matt and Kim. It sounds easy and bright and I like that.

It has been a while again and I have been talking to myself, maybe narrating my life (kinda like JD?) feeling like I'm talking to someone. So now I will just dump it onto here. It is weird how my thoughts sometimes "talk" to a certain person, usually a person I ( Read more... )