Happy Holidays, meredydd! Part II
Love Me Tender, Part II
“It’s coming,” said Crowley.
“He,” said Aziraphale. He squinted at the figure in the grubby mack. “At least, I’m fairly certain it’s always been a he. Little too dirty to tell.”
“Ya great Southern pansy,” said the figure. “And, yon, the flash bastard--”
“Mister S,” said Madame Tracy, who appeared rather suddenly behind him. “You know you shouldn’t talk like that.”
Shadwell, cigarette hidden in his dirty fist, grunted assent and allowed Madame Tracy to hold his shoulder.
“The Beast what crouches toward Bethlehem,” said Crowley. “I think she’s tamed him.”
“Now, that’s no way to be talking, either, Mister Crowley,” said Madame Tracy. “You might hurt his feelings.”
“I’m not actually sure he has any,” said Aziraphale.
“The both of you!” Madame Tracy said, but she smiled widely at the two. “You might stop by later,” she said. “We could go out, you know, see the sights.” She giggled as coyly as she could, which made the two suited gentlemen shudder delicately. “Double date--these Americans, you know.”
“I think we need to go,” said Aziraphale. “It was lovely to see you. I’m sure we’ll see you again at the hotel.”
“Yeah,” said Crowley. “Later.”
“So intelligent, those two,” Madame Tracy said later to Shadwell, rubbing his shoulders. “Such lovely boys.”
-
The man poured himself salt water. He’d read about gargling in certain brightly colored magazines. Then he splashed it out again, letting it wash down the sink. He didn’t need it. He never did.
-
“Today’s the big day,” said Adam.
“Are you excited?” asked Pepper of Anathema.
Brian was too busy getting his shirt scrubbed by his mother to get involved, but Wensleydale said, “Thirty-nine flavors of ice cream” in the sort of voice he usually reserved for his comic.
“It is, yes, and not where you’re going,” said Anathema, who had an uncanny ability to follow a conversation. She had the feeling she’d received it from reading Agnes’s disjointed prose her whole life. “But we do have three.”
“Chocolate and vanilla and strawberry?” Wensleydale asked with a certain disappointment.
“Chocolate, vanilla, and mint-chocolate chip,” said Anathema.
The four stared at her with wonder in their eyes.
“Cor,” said Pepper.
Even Adam was impressed.
Anathema felt any doubts she’d had recede.
-
The man put on his shoes and his coat, then hopped into his car.
-
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” said Anathema.
“Neither can I,” said Newt. “But I was on--you know, this internet thing--and up it popped right before the computer crashed.”
-
“I can’t believe they’re actually doing it,” said Aziraphale.
“I don’t want to,” said Crowley, “but better them than us.”
Well. Aziraphale didn’t know about that.
-
He plugged in his microphone. He was on the top of the world. He was ready.
-
“Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, to love, honor, and o--”
“Ahem,” said Anathema.
“To love and honor, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto him for as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” said Anathema.
“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, to love, honor, and obey, keeping yourself solely unto her for as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” said Newt. “I thought--”
“If there be anyone present who may show just and lawful cause why this couple may not be legally wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.”
The tension rose, but no one rose with it. There was a collective sigh of relief that sent Anathema giggling behind her hand.
“By the authority vested in me by the state of Nevada, I pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride!”
Newt drew Anathema to him for the second longest kiss in the history of Las Vegas weddings, which is saying something. “Love me tender, love me sweet. Never let me go,” the Elvis impersonator crooned.
--
TIME TO GO.
“What?” said the man. “But these two fine people just got married, I don’t want--”
TURN AROUND, said Death, as kindly as a creature who couldn’t understand kindness could.
“Oh,” he said quietly. The Just Married car had already driven away, but there was a crowd around something. “I see.”
COME ON.
“One minute,” said the man. “I’ve got something I need to do first.”
BUT--OH, ALL RIGHT.
-
“Do you feel something?” asked Aziraphale. They were in the background, hiding away from Shadwell’s belligerence and Madame Tracy’s decided lack of it.
“No,” said Crowley, but he was lying.
-
The man put his hands on their shoulders and whispered, “He loves you tender, he does.”
-
“Okay,” he said. “I’m ready.”
GOOD, said Death, and took him to that great stage in the sky.
-
No one could see them, except Anathema, who had a sixth sense about these things, and Adam, who had more senses than you could count.
-
It was the longest kiss Las Vegas had ever seen. And, after a thousand years of waiting, it was the most appreciated.
-
R.I.P. Elvis Aaron Presley
8 January 1935 - 25 December 1995
“Give, and it shall be given to you.” Luke 6:38
--
“It’s coming,” said Crowley.
“He,” said Aziraphale. He squinted at the figure in the grubby mack. “At least, I’m fairly certain it’s always been a he. Little too dirty to tell.”
“Ya great Southern pansy,” said the figure. “And, yon, the flash bastard--”
“Mister S,” said Madame Tracy, who appeared rather suddenly behind him. “You know you shouldn’t talk like that.”
Shadwell, cigarette hidden in his dirty fist, grunted assent and allowed Madame Tracy to hold his shoulder.
“The Beast what crouches toward Bethlehem,” said Crowley. “I think she’s tamed him.”
“Now, that’s no way to be talking, either, Mister Crowley,” said Madame Tracy. “You might hurt his feelings.”
“I’m not actually sure he has any,” said Aziraphale.
“The both of you!” Madame Tracy said, but she smiled widely at the two. “You might stop by later,” she said. “We could go out, you know, see the sights.” She giggled as coyly as she could, which made the two suited gentlemen shudder delicately. “Double date--these Americans, you know.”
“I think we need to go,” said Aziraphale. “It was lovely to see you. I’m sure we’ll see you again at the hotel.”
“Yeah,” said Crowley. “Later.”
“So intelligent, those two,” Madame Tracy said later to Shadwell, rubbing his shoulders. “Such lovely boys.”
-
The man poured himself salt water. He’d read about gargling in certain brightly colored magazines. Then he splashed it out again, letting it wash down the sink. He didn’t need it. He never did.
-
“Today’s the big day,” said Adam.
“Are you excited?” asked Pepper of Anathema.
Brian was too busy getting his shirt scrubbed by his mother to get involved, but Wensleydale said, “Thirty-nine flavors of ice cream” in the sort of voice he usually reserved for his comic.
“It is, yes, and not where you’re going,” said Anathema, who had an uncanny ability to follow a conversation. She had the feeling she’d received it from reading Agnes’s disjointed prose her whole life. “But we do have three.”
“Chocolate and vanilla and strawberry?” Wensleydale asked with a certain disappointment.
“Chocolate, vanilla, and mint-chocolate chip,” said Anathema.
The four stared at her with wonder in their eyes.
“Cor,” said Pepper.
Even Adam was impressed.
Anathema felt any doubts she’d had recede.
-
The man put on his shoes and his coat, then hopped into his car.
-
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” said Anathema.
“Neither can I,” said Newt. “But I was on--you know, this internet thing--and up it popped right before the computer crashed.”
-
“I can’t believe they’re actually doing it,” said Aziraphale.
“I don’t want to,” said Crowley, “but better them than us.”
Well. Aziraphale didn’t know about that.
-
He plugged in his microphone. He was on the top of the world. He was ready.
-
“Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, to love, honor, and o--”
“Ahem,” said Anathema.
“To love and honor, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto him for as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” said Anathema.
“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, to love, honor, and obey, keeping yourself solely unto her for as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” said Newt. “I thought--”
“If there be anyone present who may show just and lawful cause why this couple may not be legally wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.”
The tension rose, but no one rose with it. There was a collective sigh of relief that sent Anathema giggling behind her hand.
“By the authority vested in me by the state of Nevada, I pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride!”
Newt drew Anathema to him for the second longest kiss in the history of Las Vegas weddings, which is saying something. “Love me tender, love me sweet. Never let me go,” the Elvis impersonator crooned.
--
TIME TO GO.
“What?” said the man. “But these two fine people just got married, I don’t want--”
TURN AROUND, said Death, as kindly as a creature who couldn’t understand kindness could.
“Oh,” he said quietly. The Just Married car had already driven away, but there was a crowd around something. “I see.”
COME ON.
“One minute,” said the man. “I’ve got something I need to do first.”
BUT--OH, ALL RIGHT.
-
“Do you feel something?” asked Aziraphale. They were in the background, hiding away from Shadwell’s belligerence and Madame Tracy’s decided lack of it.
“No,” said Crowley, but he was lying.
-
The man put his hands on their shoulders and whispered, “He loves you tender, he does.”
-
“Okay,” he said. “I’m ready.”
GOOD, said Death, and took him to that great stage in the sky.
-
No one could see them, except Anathema, who had a sixth sense about these things, and Adam, who had more senses than you could count.
-
It was the longest kiss Las Vegas had ever seen. And, after a thousand years of waiting, it was the most appreciated.
-
R.I.P. Elvis Aaron Presley
8 January 1935 - 25 December 1995
“Give, and it shall be given to you.” Luke 6:38
--