(no subject)
YES! It's time for part six of my Harry Potter/Good Omens crossover. For those of you who might wonder at one part of this chapter, I have an inside joke with dreya_uberwald about Professor Flitwick/Millicent Bulstrode/Dreya. Oh yeah. I made some definite hints in here. Who knows where I'll take it? Probably nowhere. *AHEM* WHO KNOWS?
Yes, I know that I said that this story wasn't going to turn into C/A. However, heckthecat gave me a marvelous idea, and I had to run with it.
Pre Crowley/Severus, Pre Crowley/Aziraphale, Pre Flitwick/Millicent/Dreya. Yet somehow, I think that it's PG. (At this stage)
Disclaimer: Yadda yadda, none of these characters are mine. (Except for dreya_uberwald)
The first two students to be Sorted, Megan Lyles and Miriam Doyle, were remarkably similar. They both had light blue eyes, rectangular glasses, and hair so bushy that it made Hermione Granger feel momentarily good about herself. They were both Sorted into Slytherin, and they both did an obnoxious little prance as they walked down the aisle to their new House table.
“Akimichi, Rem!” shrieked the Head of Gryffindor House. Crowley winced. The woman’s voice was never the same. Sometimes it was shrill, and other times it was deep. It was always painful, though. He didn’t notice when Rem became this year’s first new Gryffindor.
“Clause, Catherine!” There she went again. All Gryffindors were irritating, it seemed, right up to the top. Crowley scowled as Catherine scuttled over to the Ravenclaw table.
“NADEAU, NICOLE!!!!!!!!” Crowley clutched his head. There was am amplification spell lodged in Minerva’s throat, and she should be more responsible. She HAD been doing this for years. Everyone in the Great Hall was now trying to hide his or her discomfort. Nicole stumbled over to the Hufflepuff table, looking rather dazed.
“Merideth, Dillon!” This student was rather confident, noted Crowley. He strutted up to the hat, and bowed to everyone after it called out that he was to be in Ravenclaw. He gave the teacher’s table a rather appraising glance as he passed it. Crowley liked him already.
“Sternberg, Hannah!” Bloody McGonagall. Hannah seemed to be the most peppy. She was trying to control her excitement, but she was walking on the balls of her feet as she approached the stool. She gave in and ran on her way to the Ravenclaw table.
“WIMALARATNE, DASANTI!” Crowley groaned once more. At least it was nearly over. He smirked as he saw the new Slytherin whisper something into Miriam’s ear as she say down, and heard both girls laugh snidely.
“Uberwald, Dreya!” bellowed Professor McGonnagall. The girl stepped forward nervously, looking around the room as if seeking support. Or something else. Crowley jumped as her eyes swept over him. She was eleven. That couldn’t have been genuine lust in her eyes, mixed with megalomaniacal worship. Could it? He had never met the girl. He must be imagining things. Who wouldn’t be jumpy, after being told that they had to engage in carnal relations with Snape as part of their job?
Dreya stepped up to the stool, and lowered the Sorting Hat over her head. “Ravenclaw!” it sang out. Crowley noticed that a tall, rather mannish girl at the Slytherin table was looking murderous for some reason. Professor Flitwick, on the other hand, was making a spectacle of himself by squealing excitedly and hopping up and down in his chair. Crowley glanced over at Aziraphale, who looked equally confused. They both shrugged and got up. The Sorting was over.
Crowley watched the angel walk away, and was struck by a marvelous idea. He beckoned to Dumbledore across the room. The Headmaster nodded, and they walked to his office.
-----------------------
“I’ll do it,” said Crowley without preamble. “I have two conditions, though.”
“Anthony, it is in your contract, and you would have to carry out that function of your duties regardless. But please continue.” Dumbledore stroked his beard, an odd light in his eyes.
“First, I want you to implement a Sexual Education program at Hogwarts, and I would like to be in charge of it. All schools should hold classes about it, for the health of the students.”
Dumbledore nodded, slowly. “I see your point. Hogwarts should definitely be up to par with the Muggle schools.” A slow smile crept across his wizened face. “Plus, it’ll really piss off Lucius Malfoy. And he’s always a better shag when he’s angry.” he trailed off.
“What?”
“Nothing! What was your second condition?”
“I empathize with you for having to make difficult orders to touchy people. It must be a strain, telling the Defense teachers every year that they have to sleep with Snape, to maintain his sanity.” Crowley managed to put on a saccharine smirk. “But it’s a strain on us, too. I need to maintain my sanity... I get to sleep with Phale.”
“Oh, dear. I can’t, you can’t just… That is.. It isn’t fair, honorable or reasonable.”
“What was that about Lucius Malfoy?”
“Nonetheless, both requests will be implemented,” Dumbledore said hurriedly.
Those of you who didn't get much of a description, bear with me. I don't know anything about you. Post what I would say, regarding you guys.
Yes, I know that I said that this story wasn't going to turn into C/A. However, heckthecat gave me a marvelous idea, and I had to run with it.
Pre Crowley/Severus, Pre Crowley/Aziraphale, Pre Flitwick/Millicent/Dreya. Yet somehow, I think that it's PG. (At this stage)
Disclaimer: Yadda yadda, none of these characters are mine. (Except for dreya_uberwald)
The first two students to be Sorted, Megan Lyles and Miriam Doyle, were remarkably similar. They both had light blue eyes, rectangular glasses, and hair so bushy that it made Hermione Granger feel momentarily good about herself. They were both Sorted into Slytherin, and they both did an obnoxious little prance as they walked down the aisle to their new House table.
“Akimichi, Rem!” shrieked the Head of Gryffindor House. Crowley winced. The woman’s voice was never the same. Sometimes it was shrill, and other times it was deep. It was always painful, though. He didn’t notice when Rem became this year’s first new Gryffindor.
“Clause, Catherine!” There she went again. All Gryffindors were irritating, it seemed, right up to the top. Crowley scowled as Catherine scuttled over to the Ravenclaw table.
“NADEAU, NICOLE!!!!!!!!” Crowley clutched his head. There was am amplification spell lodged in Minerva’s throat, and she should be more responsible. She HAD been doing this for years. Everyone in the Great Hall was now trying to hide his or her discomfort. Nicole stumbled over to the Hufflepuff table, looking rather dazed.
“Merideth, Dillon!” This student was rather confident, noted Crowley. He strutted up to the hat, and bowed to everyone after it called out that he was to be in Ravenclaw. He gave the teacher’s table a rather appraising glance as he passed it. Crowley liked him already.
“Sternberg, Hannah!” Bloody McGonagall. Hannah seemed to be the most peppy. She was trying to control her excitement, but she was walking on the balls of her feet as she approached the stool. She gave in and ran on her way to the Ravenclaw table.
“WIMALARATNE, DASANTI!” Crowley groaned once more. At least it was nearly over. He smirked as he saw the new Slytherin whisper something into Miriam’s ear as she say down, and heard both girls laugh snidely.
“Uberwald, Dreya!” bellowed Professor McGonnagall. The girl stepped forward nervously, looking around the room as if seeking support. Or something else. Crowley jumped as her eyes swept over him. She was eleven. That couldn’t have been genuine lust in her eyes, mixed with megalomaniacal worship. Could it? He had never met the girl. He must be imagining things. Who wouldn’t be jumpy, after being told that they had to engage in carnal relations with Snape as part of their job?
Dreya stepped up to the stool, and lowered the Sorting Hat over her head. “Ravenclaw!” it sang out. Crowley noticed that a tall, rather mannish girl at the Slytherin table was looking murderous for some reason. Professor Flitwick, on the other hand, was making a spectacle of himself by squealing excitedly and hopping up and down in his chair. Crowley glanced over at Aziraphale, who looked equally confused. They both shrugged and got up. The Sorting was over.
Crowley watched the angel walk away, and was struck by a marvelous idea. He beckoned to Dumbledore across the room. The Headmaster nodded, and they walked to his office.
-----------------------
“I’ll do it,” said Crowley without preamble. “I have two conditions, though.”
“Anthony, it is in your contract, and you would have to carry out that function of your duties regardless. But please continue.” Dumbledore stroked his beard, an odd light in his eyes.
“First, I want you to implement a Sexual Education program at Hogwarts, and I would like to be in charge of it. All schools should hold classes about it, for the health of the students.”
Dumbledore nodded, slowly. “I see your point. Hogwarts should definitely be up to par with the Muggle schools.” A slow smile crept across his wizened face. “Plus, it’ll really piss off Lucius Malfoy. And he’s always a better shag when he’s angry.” he trailed off.
“What?”
“Nothing! What was your second condition?”
“I empathize with you for having to make difficult orders to touchy people. It must be a strain, telling the Defense teachers every year that they have to sleep with Snape, to maintain his sanity.” Crowley managed to put on a saccharine smirk. “But it’s a strain on us, too. I need to maintain my sanity... I get to sleep with Phale.”
“Oh, dear. I can’t, you can’t just… That is.. It isn’t fair, honorable or reasonable.”
“What was that about Lucius Malfoy?”
“Nonetheless, both requests will be implemented,” Dumbledore said hurriedly.
Those of you who didn't get much of a description, bear with me. I don't know anything about you. Post what I would say, regarding you guys.