Best bad writing of the day (first in a very very long series...)

[gloriana]

Found on A03, in this AU fic where Loki is a prostitute in a nameless Earth city: Loki was cold. It was the midst of one of the snowiest winters in history and his threadbare jacket and sweater were doing little to keep him from freezing. [...] There were few costumers to be had anyway in this weather and at this time of night.
Because of course, if

Comments

[splix]

Well, if you're Loki, you don't just pop into Target, right? You need a costumer! For a hooker costume. Loki is really big on authenticity, probably, and wants to get it just right.

[gloriana]

Is that meant to imply his normal green leather and metal doesn't count as hooker gear?

[splix]

Not technically, probably. You pay if you fuck him when he's wearing the green leather and metal, but not in cash.

[gloriana]

By the way, I think it's sad that you have two gorgeous Loki icons and I have none. What does that say about how often I've been on lj recently?

[tehta]

Prostitute fics are always good for a giggle.

[gloriana]

The sad sad thing is that, after that auspicious beginning, I am now on chapter three...

[tazlet]

Author with finger firmly on the pulse of her 'Target' (sorry) audience.

[gloriana]

I suppose the prostitution tag is pretty much a danger warning for bad (writing) style ahead.

[anna_wing]

I suppose the prostitution tag is pretty much a danger warning for bad (writing) style ahead

Also fundamental failures of world-building, a serious lack of imagination and, usually, utter ignorance of anything on the part of the author.

I still remember the Silmarillion one where the Elvish warlord Maedhros (having uncanonically survived the war against Morgoth into modern times), declares that he has had to spend untold millennia as a prostitute because being an experienced strategist, inhumanly skilled swordsman, commander of armies with literally centuries of experience and master of the art of siege fortifications and engineering made it hard to find any other job.

[akamine_chan]

Well, he'd be over-over-over-qualified for most jobs, so I'd believe it. Besides, all those skills you mention are not very useful. I mean, really. Who needs engineers or strategists or warmasters? ;)

[anna_wing]

Indeed. The most cursory look at the whole of human history would immediately suggest that military skill is rarely in demand.

[archaeologist_d]

I find it hilarious.