Guilt

[glodowg]

My daughter made me feel bad yesterday.  wait... did you even know I have a daughter?  Exactly why I felt guilty!  She is 13 and a wonderful young lady.  She told me she felt left out with all the stuff that is going on for her brother lately.  I reminded her that she would have my FULL attention come August 8th and that I had better not hear her

Comments

[mr_dowg]

I can solve that problem of needing a margarita!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[glodowg]

You have the solution to all my problems! That is why I love you!!!!!!

[ehowton]

When I put my children first I find I'm always unsuccessful in pleasing them. I am miserable and unable to acquiesce to their frequent demands, which they are unappreciative of when I do occasionally meet them.

I discovered that its best to first take care of myself so that I may better take care of my children.

I'm happier, and because of it, they're happier.

[glodowg]

Surely you knew you would get reamed for this one.

I never take care of myself first! Occasionally I get to take care of myself a little, but most of the time I worry about the kids, Mr, work and community involvement. All these things leave very little time for me to worry about me.

All those things aside, our kids need to know that they are a priority in our lives. That we do not feel that they are in our way. I want my kids to know that if they have an issue, that issue is more important to me than anything else going on. How can I leave them with that feeling when I am putting myself first?

[ehowton]

Perhaps its the age difference in our children. I tried the photogoot method of validating your child's issues before instructing them. How wonderful he has only one. Between my two, they had 45 "issues" a minute, from the the complex Why are here? to the innane I'm sad I lost the paper wrapper to my lolipop. I don't have time for that shit and my kids will thank me when they're older I didn't validate a majority of their dumb issues.

[glodowg]

If you spend some time when they are young helping them work through those types of issues, they become none issues. It does not go on and on. But you do have to "get through" that phase before it gets better. I want to know about their problems, I might say "get over it", but I want to know. I want them to know that I am here.

Who do you want your kids to go to when they have bigger issues? Their issues today might seem small to you, but to your child they are earth shattering. If you are not there for them now, they will not trust that you will be there for them later. Please refer to my Sand in a Bottle thread.

[catttitude]

But mom's not happy. I take up your slack when you are taking care of yourself.

[ehowton]

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

[catttitude]

Don't worry I always feel like I am neglecting my babies. I think most parents feel that way. It is so hard to balance everything and most of the time you just can't.

[glodowg]

Amen sister. I have always felt guilty - it might have something to do with having a catholic mother :) However, even though I never feel that I have done enough, my kids are intelligent, well grounded and self sufficient so either I did somnething right or they are turning out well inspite of me.