Adommy Fanfic: Can't help falling for you 11/?
The beautiful art made by my wonderful and talented friend bloodyrosered. Thank you so much!
Chapter eleven
Tommy is laying on his bed. Lights off. Silence. He can hear his own heartbeat. Steady but fast. He can’t do anything to calm down. Even the yoga breathing doesn’t make it better. He feels strange. He just admitted to Adam that he is his soulmate. But Adam doesn’t know who Tommy was talking about. And Tommy feels bad about that fact. Not that he wanted Adam to know, because he doesn’t. But he feels like he used Adam for a confession that wasn’t even a real one. Just to feel a little better. But he doesn’t feel better. Because he might have said the truth but he was not honest. And Tommy is a honest person.
He turns around and is laying now on his stomach, his head is hanging over the edge of his bed. And he takes the light switch in his hand and he switches the light on and off, on and off, on and off.... And the blood is floating in his head and he starts to see stars. And somehow he wishes he would just pass out. Because he can’t fall asleep. Then it’s too much and he turns on his back just to stare on the ceiling, while he is switching the lights on and off. And every time the light is off he sees Adams face in front of him. Those bright blue eyes, those lips, those freckles... And then he turns the light on and Adams face is gone. Until the lights go off again.
Tommy sighs. He is almost helpless, captured in this stupid lovething. Without a possibility to get out. And now that Adam knows about it, he won’t let go. He will keep asking questions. And Tommy is a bad liar. And he hates lies. But he can’t tell Adam that he is the one. It could change their relation and make the friendship impossible. And even if it hurts to be just a friend, it’s really better than nothing at all. Better than to lose Adam. He can’t imagine to have a life without Adam. He just can’t.
Maybe he should get away for a while and sort things out. But he can’t. He has some gigs with Monte and Adam wants to start writing new music. And of course he was so long away from his family and this year was very hard for them all. He must stay. And he must find a way to stop Adam from asking him out about his secret love. But he is too tired. And he is too busy now switching the lights on and off. And too busy thinking about how amazing it would be to have a switch to turn off the love he feels for Adam.
*************
“Isaac, I don’t believe, he didn’t tell you who that guy is.” Adam keeps his eyes on Isaac. And he can see how nervous Isaac is. And he knows that he is about to overstep boundries to get his information. And a part of him is screeming, that he should stop asking, because he doesn’t want to know to help Tommy. No, he wants to know who this guy is because he just wants to KNOW. “Isaac, I just want to help Tommy. Let me be a good friend.” But Isaac shakes his head. “Adam, I can’t tell you. Tommy is my fried as well. And he wouldn’t want me to tell you who this guy is. I’m sure he doesn’t want you to know. If he’d want you to know, he’d tell you.” Adam knows that Isaac is right. “I know, but still… I think he should say his friend that he is in love with him. Maybe they have a chance to get something amazing together.” Isaac sighs. “Adam, all I can tell you is, that I wished I could talk with this guy and tell him how blind he is. And how amazing Tommy is. But it’s not my business. Tommy made the decision that he wants to keep his secret. We have to respect that.” Adam nods.
But he can’t let go. “You know him?” Isaac nods. “And what do you think? Does he love Tommy back?” Isaac feels really uncomfortable. He slides back and forward in his seat. “Adam, I am not the right person to talk about this.” This can’t stop Adam. “Isaac, come on! Don’t you want to help Tommy? Just tell me what you think.” Isaac is fighting with himself. He wants to help Tommy and Adam to find out how stupid they act. On the other hand he doesn’t want to show Tommy up. But then he looks in Adams eyes and there is something telling him, that he should just say what he is thinking. “If you ask me for my personal opinion, then I can tell you: yes his friend is in love with Tommy as well. They are both just to stupid to recognize it. Both clueless. Sometimes I wish I could just smash their heads together, so they will get it. And I hope it doesn’t sound too corny, but I think they would be perfect together.”
Adam is trying to hide that he is now really jealous. And that somehow it hurts to hear Isaac saying this. But on the other hand he wants to make Tommy happy. And obviously Tommy found someone who is perfect for him. And Adam is sure Tommy should take a chance on him. And when Isaac doesn’t want to give the name away, then Adam has to talk to Tommy. It doesn’t happen often to find someone who could be the better part of you. And when you meet that person, you should take the risk. Friendship is a good thing, but the chance to have a relationship wit your soulmate is beyond any friendship. It includes friendship and love. This is the perfect combination. Tommy must see it!
Adam doesn’t see the look in Isaacs eyes. And when Adam leaves the bar, Isaac is just shaking his head. “Still clueless!” But he can’t do anything about it. They have to find out themselves. But maybe he gave Adam something to think about. Or maybe Tommy will get something to think about when Adam will talk to him. Isaac is hoping.
***************
Adam is back in his place. And he is thinking about what Isaac just said to him. And he is sure he has to find a way to bring Tommy with this man together. He wants to talk to Tommy the next days. Tommy must know there is a chance for him. He just has to know.
Adam sighs. He is happy for Tommy. He really is. On the other hand he feels miserable for himself. Because the whole thing with Tommys unfulfilled love reminds him of his own situation. He is trying to have something with Sauli. And this something is not that kind of relation that Tommy and his friend could have. And he is now sure that he won’t be happy if things would stay the way they are with Sauli. Suddenly he knows, he wants this big bang. And he wants those fucking butterflies!
Chapter eleven
Tommy is laying on his bed. Lights off. Silence. He can hear his own heartbeat. Steady but fast. He can’t do anything to calm down. Even the yoga breathing doesn’t make it better. He feels strange. He just admitted to Adam that he is his soulmate. But Adam doesn’t know who Tommy was talking about. And Tommy feels bad about that fact. Not that he wanted Adam to know, because he doesn’t. But he feels like he used Adam for a confession that wasn’t even a real one. Just to feel a little better. But he doesn’t feel better. Because he might have said the truth but he was not honest. And Tommy is a honest person.
He turns around and is laying now on his stomach, his head is hanging over the edge of his bed. And he takes the light switch in his hand and he switches the light on and off, on and off, on and off.... And the blood is floating in his head and he starts to see stars. And somehow he wishes he would just pass out. Because he can’t fall asleep. Then it’s too much and he turns on his back just to stare on the ceiling, while he is switching the lights on and off. And every time the light is off he sees Adams face in front of him. Those bright blue eyes, those lips, those freckles... And then he turns the light on and Adams face is gone. Until the lights go off again.
Tommy sighs. He is almost helpless, captured in this stupid lovething. Without a possibility to get out. And now that Adam knows about it, he won’t let go. He will keep asking questions. And Tommy is a bad liar. And he hates lies. But he can’t tell Adam that he is the one. It could change their relation and make the friendship impossible. And even if it hurts to be just a friend, it’s really better than nothing at all. Better than to lose Adam. He can’t imagine to have a life without Adam. He just can’t.
Maybe he should get away for a while and sort things out. But he can’t. He has some gigs with Monte and Adam wants to start writing new music. And of course he was so long away from his family and this year was very hard for them all. He must stay. And he must find a way to stop Adam from asking him out about his secret love. But he is too tired. And he is too busy now switching the lights on and off. And too busy thinking about how amazing it would be to have a switch to turn off the love he feels for Adam.
*************
“Isaac, I don’t believe, he didn’t tell you who that guy is.” Adam keeps his eyes on Isaac. And he can see how nervous Isaac is. And he knows that he is about to overstep boundries to get his information. And a part of him is screeming, that he should stop asking, because he doesn’t want to know to help Tommy. No, he wants to know who this guy is because he just wants to KNOW. “Isaac, I just want to help Tommy. Let me be a good friend.” But Isaac shakes his head. “Adam, I can’t tell you. Tommy is my fried as well. And he wouldn’t want me to tell you who this guy is. I’m sure he doesn’t want you to know. If he’d want you to know, he’d tell you.” Adam knows that Isaac is right. “I know, but still… I think he should say his friend that he is in love with him. Maybe they have a chance to get something amazing together.” Isaac sighs. “Adam, all I can tell you is, that I wished I could talk with this guy and tell him how blind he is. And how amazing Tommy is. But it’s not my business. Tommy made the decision that he wants to keep his secret. We have to respect that.” Adam nods.
But he can’t let go. “You know him?” Isaac nods. “And what do you think? Does he love Tommy back?” Isaac feels really uncomfortable. He slides back and forward in his seat. “Adam, I am not the right person to talk about this.” This can’t stop Adam. “Isaac, come on! Don’t you want to help Tommy? Just tell me what you think.” Isaac is fighting with himself. He wants to help Tommy and Adam to find out how stupid they act. On the other hand he doesn’t want to show Tommy up. But then he looks in Adams eyes and there is something telling him, that he should just say what he is thinking. “If you ask me for my personal opinion, then I can tell you: yes his friend is in love with Tommy as well. They are both just to stupid to recognize it. Both clueless. Sometimes I wish I could just smash their heads together, so they will get it. And I hope it doesn’t sound too corny, but I think they would be perfect together.”
Adam is trying to hide that he is now really jealous. And that somehow it hurts to hear Isaac saying this. But on the other hand he wants to make Tommy happy. And obviously Tommy found someone who is perfect for him. And Adam is sure Tommy should take a chance on him. And when Isaac doesn’t want to give the name away, then Adam has to talk to Tommy. It doesn’t happen often to find someone who could be the better part of you. And when you meet that person, you should take the risk. Friendship is a good thing, but the chance to have a relationship wit your soulmate is beyond any friendship. It includes friendship and love. This is the perfect combination. Tommy must see it!
Adam doesn’t see the look in Isaacs eyes. And when Adam leaves the bar, Isaac is just shaking his head. “Still clueless!” But he can’t do anything about it. They have to find out themselves. But maybe he gave Adam something to think about. Or maybe Tommy will get something to think about when Adam will talk to him. Isaac is hoping.
***************
Adam is back in his place. And he is thinking about what Isaac just said to him. And he is sure he has to find a way to bring Tommy with this man together. He wants to talk to Tommy the next days. Tommy must know there is a chance for him. He just has to know.
Adam sighs. He is happy for Tommy. He really is. On the other hand he feels miserable for himself. Because the whole thing with Tommys unfulfilled love reminds him of his own situation. He is trying to have something with Sauli. And this something is not that kind of relation that Tommy and his friend could have. And he is now sure that he won’t be happy if things would stay the way they are with Sauli. Suddenly he knows, he wants this big bang. And he wants those fucking butterflies!